Texting plays a massive role when it comes to dating and relationships. It’s pretty much our main mode of communication and can be a make or break in terms of getting a relationship off the ground.
A text can send the wrong impression and cause a guy to be turned off … or it can have a huge impact causing him to think and obsess over you for the entire day. It’s not about pretending to be someone you not. You want your authentic self to come across via text but unfortunately, a lot can get lost in translation and you may end up coming across in a way that isn’t true to who you are.
Texting doesn’t come naturally to a lot of people and may cause you to unintentionally push a guy away before things even get started. That’s why I’m here. I’m going to share some amazing examples of texts to send that will guarantee he becomes obsessed with you.
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Before I share the best texts to send, I’m going to share texts not to send.
1. Anything in the realm of “Hey, what’s up?”
These messages are generic and boring and don’t stir anything up in him. And it doesn’t get a good conversation going, he’ll probably reply with something equally generic like, “Not much, you?” And the conversation won’t really go anywhere.
Guys don’t really like to talk for the sake of talking. They like to talk for the sake of a purpose, so idle chatter will just be a nuisance to him.
2. You don’t need to fill him in on the mundane details of your life
A lot of women complain that men don’t reply to texts but she texts him things that don’t really elicit a response like “Just sat down to watch a movie.” What’s he supposed to say to that? Ok, cool? He may not even know you’re waiting for a response so while you’re sitting there obsessing over why he didn’t say anything about you watching a movie, he’s just doing his own thing assuming that you’re busy right now.
Now it’s different if you text: “I’m in the mood for a good movie. What do you recommend?” In this case, he may not only recommend something good, but he may also ask if he can join you!
3. Don’t text him to complain
Guys hate this. It’s fine if you need to vent on occasion, but if he’s busy and at work, he doesn’t want to be sucked into your drama. Men like to feel a narrow range of emotions and they don’t like those emotions to go too far beyond feeling happy and content.
4. Watch the punctuation and emojis
Too many lols just make you sounds crazy so go easy on that. Also, unless you’re actually laughing then stop saying lol. He also doesn’t know if you’re being serious when you end every sentence with lol. Like, “I wish I was with you now lol.” Like, what does that even mean?
And check to make sure autocorrect didn’t do you dirty because we all know how swiftly an innocent word can be turned into something that is not even close to what we were trying to say!
I also want to make the very important point that it’s not so much about what you say, it’s the intention behind what you say, and if you’re coming from a needy place, he’ll pick up on it and he just won’t want to feed into that needy mindset.
The needy mindset is one where you need him to respond a certain way in order to feel OK. If he texts back, you breathe a sigh of relief. Everything is OK. He likes me. I’m lovable and worthy. If he doesn’t reply, you fall into a pit of despair and obsess over it endlessly
After you text him do not obsessively check your phone over and over to see if he replied yet.
Just let it be and live your life! Also, try to keep yourself busy so you don’t pounce the second he replies.
Now I’m not saying if he waits five minutes to text you back then you should multiply that number by three and text him in 15 minutes or any gimmick. The reason replying right away seems desperate is because if you’re replying immediately, it probably means you don’t have much else going on in your life and that’s what men find unattractive. So fill your time doing things you enjoy! When you do this, you’ll have a lot of things on your mind and won’t be fixed on him
Also, guys know when you’re making them wait, they just pick up on it. A guy friend of mine was telling me about this girl he was seeing that he really liked, but her texting habits were really getting on his nerves. He noticed that anytime he took a while to reply to her, she would take even longer to get back to him, and he knew she was on her phone. It was obvious to him that she wasn’t replying intentionally and it made communicating with her and actually making a plan for a date really difficult. It also kind of turned him off.
When you’re so entertained by your own life, engaged with your own life, satisfied within your own life that you’re busy loving life and it’s natural to give him space because you’re not waiting around for him. Waiting two days to text him back will not rouse his interest, it will probably annoy him. What rouses a man’s intense interest is a woman who is fulfilled and busy with her life to the point that he really needs to work his way in … she doesn’t just dump everything she has going on in her life overboard the second a man enters the picture.
Now let’s talk about texts that will make him obsess over you.
1. A funny text.
Humor is a great way to bond, and men love a sharp, funny, lighthearted woman.
You could send a funny meme or article or a joke. Just don’t too this too frequently, otherwise, you’ll just end up in a funny banter type of relationship.
You can inject humor at times, but you also want to connect on a real level and leave room for flirting and getting to know each other.
2. A seductive text
Most women are afraid of showing interest, but showing interest isn’t a bad thing. Being desperate is a bad thing.
What are you doing is a boring question … what would you be doing if I was there with you, is an alluring one.
You don’t need to be graphic or overtly sexual. Just something intriguing with sexual undertones will do the trick. If this is a guy you just started dating, it’s a great way to implant yourself on his mind for the entire day. If it’s a guy you want to be dating, he’ll know he has a green light and won’t be rejected if he pursues you.
Here is a list of 103 seductive and intriguing texts so that will give you plenty of ideas.
3. An upbeat text
Men love a happy, confident woman. And men move toward what feels good. If it feels good to be around you, he’ll want to be around you. If it feels good to text you, he’ll want to text you. Send him something positive and upbeat.
If he asks how your day is going, don’t give a laundry list of things that went wrong that day. You can acknowledge you got off to a rough start but then inject something positive and say you’re excited to show the rest of this day who’s boss!
MORE: Texts to Make Him Smile
4. The visual
Men are visual creatures so anything you can say that will get him visualizing you will go a long way.
Something along the lines of, “I’m drenched after my workout class, gotta shower. Talk later!”
Don’t go overboard, especially if this is a new relationship. Just keep is subtle and “unintentional.” You were just mentioning that you were taking a shower, you didn’t know that this would be so evocative for him!
And unless this guy is your boyfriend, I would caution against sending any explicit photos because if you’re in the early stages then chances are you don’t know him super well just yet and once something is out there, you can never get it back.
5. The flirty text
If this is a guy you aren’t dating yet, then you want to give him the green light to pursue you. Men are terrified of rejection so it’s important for you to show a little interest without going overboard
Shoot him a compliment, like “I just saw the picture you uploaded and wow, looking good!” Followed by a winky face emoji, or say something subtly seductive.
And if you are already dating, then flirt it up! Flirting is what rouses his desire and gets him thinking about you all day. It’s also fun and lighthearted and enjoyable.
Here is a list of amazing flirty texts that will work no matter what stage of a relationship you’re in
6. The interesting question text
Take it beyond generic flirty banter and say something that will really get him to think, like “What would you do tomorrow if you woke up with no fear?”
Or do something silly like talking to each other using only emojis.
A rule of thumb when it comes to how to get a guy to be interested in you is this: be interesting.
Check out this article for more ideas: 230 Questions to Get to Know Someone
7. The compliment
Believe it or not, men love compliments too … and they receive them far less often than women do!
Say something to make him feel good. Again, don’t be afraid of showing too much interest. If a guy is interested in you, then you showing interest will not be interpreted as a bad thing!
Here are some examples:
“I love your smile. And your eyes. Just FYI.”
“OK, I need you to list a few things that are wrong with you because I can’t find any!”
“Stop looking so hot in the pics you post. You’re killing me over here!”
Read this article on compliments every man wants to hear for more ideas.
8. The appreciation text
Men are starved for appreciation, this is something we talk about a lot on the site.
If a man doesn’t feel appreciated by a woman, he will not want to be in a relationship with her. Period.
Men want to be appreciated for who they are and what they do for you.
No matter what stage of a relationship you’re in, it’s crucial to show appreciation. Some examples are:
“Thank you for being you. You really inspire me.”
“Thank you so much for taking me to that amazing restaurant. That was the best meal I’ve had in a while!”
There you have it, texts to make him absolutely obsessed with you. Above all, it’s not just about the texts, it’s about you. It’s about your mindset and mentality. It’s about how you feel about yourself and your life. If you feel bad about yourself and want a man to make you feel good, then that energy will transmit to others, even via text. If you’re happy and fulfilled and love your life, that will also come across.
More than focusing on what you say, focus on what’s going on within yourself. A man texting you back will never give you a true sense of worth. Only you can do that.
I hope after reading this article you know exactly what to text your guy to really make him fall hard. But there are two things you need to be aware of before you go any further. At some point, a guy may start to lose interest. He will pull away and seem to be less engaged and less attentive. He doesn’t text back and he just isn’t as excited by you. Do you know how to handle it? If not, read this article next: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
The next issue you need to be away of is at some point, your guy will ask himself: is this the woman I want to commit to? His answer will determine the fate of your relationship. Do you know what makes a man see a woman as girlfriend material? If not, you need to read this right now: The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman