Some women naturally attract men, it’s easy and effortless for them. Others don’t no matter how hard they try. So what’s the secret?
It’s not a matter of looks. It’s not always the most traditionally beautiful woman that seems to effortlessly ooze charm. Copying her hairstyle or buying the same brand of mascara isn’t going to do the trick.
In fact, some gorgeous women take great efforts to beautify themselves and still find it difficult to bewitch men in the same way others can. This is because attracting another person goes deeper than that. It goes beyond your physical appearance.
And the good news there is that it means it’s mostly under your control! The mindset that will enable you to do this filters into various parts of your life. It’s not just a matter of changing your lipstick. It’s about a vibe and energy that is effortlessly transmitted.
To learn how to adopt the persona of an easily magnetic woman, the woman who can attract any man, check out the steps below.
Take This Quiz: How Sexy Are You?
Part 1: How Your Mindset Can Attract The Man You Want
Have a positive mood
This is probably the most important element of the whole equation … when it feels good to be around you, people will want to be around you!
Have you noticed how spending time with certain people leaves you feeling energized and happy? Others, perhaps in a way that is hard to define, just make you feel weary or bummed out.
Optimism is contagious. If you can maintain a cheery disposition, full of laughter and kindness, people will flock to you. Men find happy, positive women irresistible.
MORE: How to Turn a Man On
Don’t compare yourself to others
This can be very tough in the age of social media where everyone puts their best filtered face forward, but comparing yourself to others will only make you feel bad about yourself … and this will kill your mood, which will kill the vibe you send out. Even though we know that others are posting the absolute best parts of their lives, we still feel the need to compare ourselves to that idealized perfection.
If you can resist these pointless comparisons, you will thrive. The only person you should consider yourself in competition with is yourself. Striving every day to get better is what will help you to meet the most important standards – your own.
Remember no one is perfect. And anyone who seems “perfect” on social media spent hours and hours to make it appear that way.
Be your own best friend
If you’re like most people, the worst things that have been said about you have been said by – well, you. We are our own harshest critics. We act like our own worst enemies when we should be our own best friends. You are all you have in this world, after all.
Practice having an appreciation for yourself. Get to know yourself, learn about yourself, fall in love with yourself. Hone in on your strengths. Be aware of your weaknesses and work on them. Become the kind of friend to yourself that you would be to your own best friend.
What is it that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning? Spend time on your passions, the things that make your heart race. Fill your life with as much of the things and people you love as possible.
If you don’t have any hobbies or interests that give you joy, consider this the time to get out there and experiment. Take a class in something you never thought you’d learn. Say yes to meeting new people and trying new things.
Whether it’s worn on a man or a woman, there’s no denying it… confidence is sexy. It trickles into everything you touch. It helps you show off that big, inviting smile. It gives you the push you need to wear that little red dress, or to strike up a conversation with the cute guy at the end of the bar.
If you don’t feel it – no worries. Just fake it! Pretend you are playing the character of a confident version of yourself. No one will know the difference, and eventually, that false spunk will transform into real assurance.
Have a lot going on in your life
Ask yourself what you have going on in your life. What do you do for fun? What are your friends like? What’s your favorite way to spend a day off? If your answers to these questions bore you, they’ll definitely cause others to stifle a yawn.
Have an active, stimulating schedule. A busy woman with a lot going on in her life is instantly attractive and intriguing.
Embrace who you are
No one will ever have the exact same appearance, personality, and set of characteristics as you do. Steer into your individuality. You might not realize it now, but the unique traits that make you “you” are the exact attributes that will attract the right person one day.
Don’t try and change yourself. Don’t soften or harden your edges. You are never more captivating than you are when you fully embrace yourself. If you find yourself needing to change parts of yourself to be the ideal person for someone, that’s a giant sign that you two are not meant to be. Save yourself time by portraying an accurate representation of yourself to the world.
At the same time, it’s always important to work on bettering ourselves. Again, there is a difference between improving who you are and trying to become someone else.
Part 2: Appearance
Ok, so just because appearance isn’t the whole picture when it comes to attraction doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. It does. Attraction is a key component in a relationship. Men are visual creatures and every guy has his own preferences. These aren’t set in stone, a guy who usually likes blondes can easily fall for a brunette, but the point is, he needs to find you attractive.
You can’t make yourself into someone you’re not. If you’re short and petite, you will never be tall and statuesque and you need to accept it and work with what you have.
Don’t make yourself into someone your not, look the best that you can look, while not going too far outside your comfort zone.
If you hate eyeshadow, don’t wear it. If wearing high-heels makes you feel homicidal, leave them on the shelf. Wear clothes that make you feel like yourself. Don’t make any changes that aren’t fitting with your personality.
When you make an effort to take care of yourself, this is often a great boost for your state of mind. It will leave you feeling fresh and intoxicating, which is optimal whether you’re looking to attract a man or not.
MORE: How To Turn Him On
Applying makeup that accentuates your natural features is a rewarding process. Choose colors that are flattering to your complexion, rather than picking whatever trendy color all the beauty influencers are peddling. If you’re not sure what those colors are, there are lots of useful sources and tutorials online.
Experiment with it and have fun! Darkly lined eyes, red lips, shiny hair, and flushed cheeks are all scientifically proven to be highly attractive to men, so play around with any of those. Work with what you have and don’t get too carried away. A natural look can also be incredibly sexy
Piling on the makeup will give you a false, cakey appearance. Unless you’ve got an experienced hand, less is often more.
Exercise and eat right
Eating vibrant, healthy foods will fuel you to live a full, energized life. It’s amazing how much of a role diet plays in our mental clarity, skin, and digestion. Eating right will allow you to power through the long days. If your hectic schedule makes it tough to eat well, set aside time at the beginning of the week to plan your meals in advance.
Exercise is not just about weight loss. It releases endorphins, reduces stress, and boosts your mood. If you’re suffering from a mid-afternoon slump, a quick workout can actually energize you better than a cup of coffee. Regular exercise benefits you in all aspects of your life, including sculpting a body that will give you confidence.
Dress to flatter your shape
Don’t look to magazine covers or models on runways for guidance on how to dress. What will make you feel your best is dressing in a way that flatters your own, unique shape. When you feel comfortable in what you’re wearing, that relaxed vibe shines through.
This is another area you should feel free to experiment in if you haven’t already. Ask your fashionable friends for advice. Sometimes we get stuck in a rut of wearing the same clothes all of the time. Freshening up your wardrobe can leave you feeling like a brand new person.
MORE: How to Attract Men
There’s a reason guys like playing with, touching, and even smelling your hair. That fruity, enchanting shampoo doesn’t hurt, but hair is just sexy in general.
Style your hair in a way that flatters your face shape and makes you feel your best. If you’re not sure what to do with your hair, a hairstylist will be able to offer you expert advice. Take care of your hair – an occasional deep condition can work wonders and make it impossible for even you to stop running your fingers through it.
Stick with softer styles, instead of stiff, overly done ones.
Scent is such a powerful sense. A whiff of a familiar smell can transport you back in time. Treat yourself by having a signature scent, whether that’s from a perfume, body spray, or lotion. Sometimes dabbing a little something on your skin can feel like the perfect finish to a “look” for the night.
It can take some practice before you know how much to put on. Favorite spots for scent application include your wrists, your neck, and the back of your knees. In the beginning, apply a little less than you think you’ll need. You can always add to it later. Have you ever gotten into an elevator with someone and just about choked on their perfume or cologne? Definitely avoid torturing the people around you with that.
Part 3: How you flirt
We talked about your internal state, and your external state, and the way you flirt combines the two. Once you feel fresh and alluring, it will be much easier to focus on your flirting technique. But again, confidence is key, so try to focus on building your confidence as much as you can.
Smile a lot
Smiling is so simple, yet wildly powerful. It’s a universal sign of warmth. Offering a smile is a great way to subtly show a guy he should feel comfortable approaching you. It’s not a guarantee that you’re going to reciprocate exactly what he feels, but it opens the door for him to try.
Sometimes the right kind of eye contact can give you a physical reaction. Intense eye contact with the right person can feel like electricity. If you want to show interest in a man, continue to occasionally maintain eye contact before looking away. It’s playful and flirtatious.
Play with your hair
While it’s a bit of a cliché for a woman to innocently twirl a strand of hair around her finger, this coquettish move can be adapted. Run your fingers through your hair. Play with it absent-mindedly. If you do this while speaking to a guy, it can definitely come across as flirtatious.
Playfully touch him
Gentle, carefully placed touches on a man can have a crazy impact. This could be a simple brushing of the shoulders or a teasing nudge in the arm. Letting your hand “accidentally” brush into his while you walk is a delicate way to catch his attention. Once you initiate this kind of lighthearted physicality, you’ll probably find he reciprocates rather quickly.
Embrace your femininity
Even the toughest chick has a tangible feminine streak, and that’s something that men find irresistible. Be proud of your feminine traits and never hesitate to reveal your sweet, softer side.
Now that you know exactly how to attract the man you want, let’s talk about two major problems that can destroy your relationship if not handled right. At some point, a man will ask himself: Do I want to commit to this woman for the long term? The answer will determine everything. Do you know what makes a man see a woman as girlfriend material? Do you know what inspires a man to commit? If not, you need to read this next The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
The next issue arises when he starts to pull away. It looks like he’s losing interest in you. He’s not as responsive, he’s not as attentive, and things just feel off. Do you now what to do to get things back on track? If not, read this next: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
Take This Quiz: How Sexy Are You?
How to Attract The Man You Want:
- Have a positive mood
- Don’t compare yourself to others
- Be your own best friend
- Be Fun
- Be confident
- Have a lot going on in your life
- Embrace who you are
- Choose the right beauty products and techniques
- Exercise and eat right
- Dress to flatter your shape
- Smell delicious
- Smile a lot
- Make eye contact
- Play with your hair
- Playfully touch him
- Embrace your femininity