If you’re a regular reader of A New Mode then you know our main mantra when it comes to deciphering how a man feels: when a guy likes you, it’s obvious!
OK … so then why does it get so confusing? Why are so many women feeling confused and despondent because they have no idea where he stands?
The confusion comes when a guy likes you … but doesn’t like you enough. When he likes you … but he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Ouch.
This is where everyone gets stuck. You don’t want to let go because he does like you, and you like him, and it would be foolish to let go of a guy you like or even love! But at the same time, you are not getting what you want. You aren’t really getting anything from him … you’re holding onto the potential of what could be.
So how do you know what’s really going on? I’m going to break it all down so keep reading.
Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?
Before we get into the signs, let’s talk about why a guy might like you but not want to commit.
It’s possible that he is getting over a breakup, and he just can’t handle getting back into something serious again. It’s possible he just doesn’t want to commit to anyone at this stage in his life. And it’s also possible that he just doesn’t like you enough to be in a relationship with you.
The reasons don’t matter, the facts do. If he doesn’t want a relationship, and that’s what you want, then this isn’t a situation you should be in unless you want to get your heart seriously broken … because that is how these things usually end.
OK, now so let’s get into the signs he likes you but doesn’t want anything serious.
1. He sends mixed signals
You can call this being wishy-washy or playing hot and cold or being on and off. The point is, his behavior is inconsistent and confusing.
My motto about mixed signals is this: mixed signals are one clear signal- he doesn’t want to be with you.
So why send signals at all? Why not just break things off or ignore you? Because he does like you a little bit. He enjoys hanging out with you … it feels nice, it strokes his ego, it’s fun, so he doesn’t want to let you go.
But it doesn’t go beyond that for him.
When a guy seriously likes you, he is there. You don’t have to wonder. He won’t leave the space for you to wonder because he doesn’t want to risk losing you.
Men are hunters by nature. A hunter isn’t going to lose track of his pray and risk some other hunter snatching it, that’s just a terrible game plan. He is going to know this is valuable pray so I better hang onto it and keep it close!
2. He’s all talk
You have to look at actions more than words. It’s very easy to say things, doing things takes a bit more effort.
And guys communicate through actions more than words.
It’s easy to get caught up in a moment and say things like, “I like you so much, I’ve never liked a girl this much after only a few weeks” … but how does he treat you?
Does he call or text regularly? Does he take you out? Is he there for you? Or is he in and out of your life, only popping up when it suits him or to get his own needs met?
I know we want to hang onto the words, especially when those words align with how we want reality to be. But you can’t just look at words. If his words aren’t backed up by actions then they’re just poetry.
Watch The Video: 5 Signs He Likes You (But Doesn’t Want Anything Serious)
3. He tells you he doesn’t want a relationship right now
Seems obvious, yet somehow it’s not.
And I’m with you if you’re in this situation because I’ve been through it. I was the girl who would hear “I don’t want a relationship right now” and stick around in the hopes he would change his mind.
They rarely do.
If he says he doesn’t want a relationship, believe him.
So why is he still hanging around you and pursuing you? Well it comes back to the title of this article: he likes you, he just doesn’t want a serious relationship with you.
MORE: Why Doesn’t He Want Me?
4. You have no idea what’s going on
You don’t know what kind of relationship you’re in. You don’t know where his head is at, you don’t really know how he feels, you don’t know if you can trust him, you just don’t know and it feels horrible to you.
The fact is … if you have to ask, you already have your answer.
He just doesn’t like you enough and all these painful emotions you’re feeling are your body’s way of telling you something isn’t right and you need to get out.
Most of the time, we feel it in our gut. A lot of the time when I get questions from readers and then share my answer, they will respond by saying: You’re right, deep down I already knew that but I just didn’t want to believe it.
5. He doesn’t give you anything
I’m not talking about gifts, I’m talking about giving of himself because when we truly care about someone, we give to them. We give our time, our attention, our heart, our emotions, our energy.
What is he really giving you aside from temporary shots of validation when he does or says something that seems to indicate he likes you? What are you really getting out of this?
I’m sure you’re doing plenty of giving. You’re giving him your time, your attention, your body, your love. You’re trying to help him or heal him. You’re trying to help him get past whatever hump is preventing him from committing to you in the way you want.
But you can’t. Because he just isn’t on the same page as you. If he were, you would know it. There would be no question.
So what should you do? How do you get over this?
First recognize it isn’t personal. If he’s getting over a breakup then it really isn’t personal. I know you want to love him back to life but he needs to heal on his own.
Sometimes it just isn’t a match and that’s OK.
If you tell yourself it’s because you’re unlovable or unworthy, that’s when you lose. That’s why you psychologically damage yourself and block yourself from truly getting that love you want and deserve.
Don’t grasp at straws here. I know you think the fact that he likes you a little means there’s something salvageable here, like if you only do a little bit more then he’ll be your boyfriend, but do you really want to work this hard to convince someone to want to be with you? That’s not the way it’s supposed to be.
If he’s not in it from the start, then that most likely won’t change.
A much better place to direct your energy is on yourself and on becoming your best self. That’s how you win here.
I hope this article helped you gain clarity on how your guy really feels. If you suspect that he is serious about you but something else is going on that’s causing him to withdraw or pull away, read this next:If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
And do you know what inspires a man to commit and see a woman as “the one”? Read this to learn all about it:The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman