He Hasn’t Texted Me in 3 Days! What To Do When a Guy Doesn’t Text You post image

He Hasn’t Texted Me in 3 Days! What To Do When a Guy Doesn’t Text You


Let me guess – you’ve been checking your phone every few minutes, wondering why he suddenly went quiet. Two days ago, everything seemed fine. Now? Radio silence.

And it’s driving you crazy, right?

You’re caught in that uncomfortable space between “should I text him again?” and “am I overreacting?” Your mind is probably spinning with possibilities – is he just busy, or is he actually ghosting you?

MORE: Ask a Guy: Why Hasn’t He Texted Me in 2 Days?

I’ve seen this scenario play out hundreds of times, and here’s what I know for sure: his silence usually has a simple explanation – and yes, there are specific things you can do to get him texting again (without coming across as needy or desperate).

In this article, I’ll show you exactly why he hasn’t texted (whether it’s been 2 days or a week), what it actually means, and what you should do about it to get things back on track.

You’ll know for sure whether this is just a temporary communication hiccup or a sign of something more serious – and either way, you’ll know exactly how to respond.

Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Why Didn’t He Text You Back?

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How Many Days Without Texting Is Actually A Problem?

Here’s the deal: 2 or 3 days without texting? It happens. Life gets busy. A week without texting? Now there’s a problem.

But let’s look at what might actually be happening when he goes quiet.

There are several perfectly innocent reasons why a guy might not text for a few days – situations where everything is actually fine.

Reasons He Hasn’t Texted (When Everything’s Fine)

He’s Busy

Men often compartmentalize their attention. When work, family obligations or other responsibilities demand focus, texting might drop to the bottom of his priority list.

What to do: Don’t text. Give him space to handle what he needs to handle. When things calm down, he’ll likely reach out.

He’s Stressed

Stress makes many men go inward rather than reach out. While women often process stress by talking it through, men frequently do the opposite – they withdraw to sort things out internally.

What to do: Don’t text. Adding pressure when he’s already stressed won’t help either of you.

He’s Not A Chatter

Some guys simply aren’t big texters. They see phones as functional tools rather than social connection devices.

What to do: Only text essential info – planning and coordinating only. Adjust your expectations to match his communication style.

Your Last Text Had A Bad Vibe

If your last message came across as negative, frustrated or confrontational, he might be waiting for your mood to pass.

MORE: When a Guy Doesn’t Text Back – The Real Reasons You Panic

What to do: Text again when you’re in a good mood and OK with him not texting you. Don’t even mention whatever you sent before – just move forward with positive energy.

But what if there’s something deeper going on? Sometimes his silence is a response to relationship dynamics that need addressing.

The good news? Many of these situations are completely fixable once you understand what’s really happening.

When There’s A Problem (But It’s Fixable)

The most common issue I see when working with women is that they’re unknowingly creating the very problem they’re afraid of.

Here’s what I mean…

You’re Being Needy (Without Realizing It)

Let me walk you through exactly how this plays out:

The Reassurance Drain

When you’re afraid the relationship might be in trouble, it can start a vicious cycle:

  • The fear makes you seek reassurance from him that he’s not losing interest
  • The problem is it’s never enough… even when you get reassurance, fears creep back
  • If he does something that doesn’t reassure you (like he stops texting), the fears get worse
  • This takes you into a downward spiral

MORE: If He Hasn’t Texted or Called, Is He Thinking Of Me?

Here’s the solution that works: Make peace with the idea that the relationship might not work out.

Why does this fix things? When you accept it could end and you’d be OK, the fear stops. Your mind finally relaxes because the idea of things not working no longer feels like a life-or-death threat.

I’m not saying you want it to end or that you wouldn’t be disappointed. I’m saying you’ve made peace with the possibility and know you’ll be OK either way.

When you solve the fear, you solve the neediness.

This reassurance-seeking is just one way neediness shows up. Another common pattern I see is what I call the chasing trap.

The Chasing Trap

Have you ever felt like you were chasing a guy? And the more you chased, the worse the relationship seemed to get?

Chasing happens for one reason: you’re unwilling to lose the guy.

So you end up saying yes to things you want to say no to because saying no might not work for him and he might leave.

Truth is, it might not work for him and it might end things. That’s possible.

But it’s also possible he’ll adjust his behavior in a way that’s workable for you.

If you say yes to what you don’t want, you shut down even the possibility of getting what you want.

Another problem with saying yes to behavior that’s unworkable is that he can’t respect you.

How could he? When you say yes to what doesn’t work for you, you’re not even respecting yourself!

But there’s a bigger picture to consider: In order for a man to love you, he must be able to respect you.

So if you want his love, you’re actually serving the bigger picture when you say no to what’s unworkable for you.

To be clear, I’m not saying to act demanding, challenging or confrontational.

I’m saying to get clear inside on what you can’t accept because it makes the relationship unworkable for you.

I’m talking about dealbreaker behaviors that will make it impossible for you to have the kind of relationship you want with him.

Nobody’s perfect and learning to harmonize with each other is part of having a great relationship. So there’s plenty of things that might not be your ideal, but you can work with.

For those things, look for harmony and find what works for you as a couple.

The big rule is that you can’t say yes to what’s unworkable for you. For everything you can work with, it’s great to be warm, loving and accommodating, so long as it’s workable and doesn’t compromise your self-respect.

There’s one more crucial way fear creates distance in relationships that you need to understand.

You Can’t Be Real (Making Conversation Boring)

Good relationships need good communication. And good communication goes beyond just being “nice” to each other.

For a relationship to have deep emotional connection and love, you need to be able to “be real” with each other.

By “be real” I’m talking about authentic unfiltered communication.

That is, you and he can express yourselves freely, without filtering.

Now I’m not saying without consideration… I’m saying that you feel you can express yourself freely and it will be OK and he feels he can too. Even when it’s rough and unpolished.

Seems straightforward, so what stops someone from having this in their relationship?

Fear. They’re afraid of causing problems in the relationship, upsetting the other person, being misunderstood, feeling what they said is rejected by the other person, etc.

The antidote? Knowing that he’s 100% on your side and him knowing you’re 100% on his side.

Think of the relationship you have with your best friend. You probably can say some pretty wild stuff to your friend and you know it’s OK.

Why?

Because you know they’re on your side.

And you’re on theirs – they know they can say stuff to you that’s crazy and wrong and it will be OK because you’re completely on their side.

That’s what makes authentic, unfiltered communication possible.

So how do you fix all these fear-based patterns that might be causing him to pull away?

Breaking The Fear Cycle

In all these examples, fear is the root of it and acceptance is the way out. That is, being willing to accept a relationship might not work out.

That way you can finally relax and enjoy yourself and the relationship again.

When you break out of that fear cycle, your energy gets much better and you come across far more attractive to the guy.

Fear repels, happiness attracts.

It must be genuine though. Fear is still fear whether or not you try to cover it up.

Accept that the relationship might not work out. You’re OK before it, you’ll be OK after it.

Doesn’t mean you don’t want it to, you just don’t NEED it to.

That tiny difference in mindset makes all the difference emotionally.

Don’t text until you’ve let go of needing this to work.

Beyond neediness, there’s another relationship dynamic that makes men pull away: when interactions consistently feel negative or draining.

You’re Being A Drain (Without Realizing It)

  • Negativity dumping on him
  • Taking conversations into arguments, negativity – raises his defenses, he will avoid talking to you

What to do: Text again when you’re in a good mood and OK with him not texting you. Don’t even acknowledge whatever you sent before, just move forward and it will be ignored and forgotten.

Now, let’s address the scenario you might be most worried about.

What if this isn’t just a communication hiccup or a fixable pattern? What if he’s genuinely losing interest or ghosting you?

When He’s Lost Interest And He’s Ghosting

If It’s Been A Week Without Texting

Take it as a soft breakup.

Sucks, disappointing, but getting mad about it or thinking he should have communicated it some other way is just fighting reality.

He didn’t, clearly it wasn’t a match for him so really you lost nothing. Move on.

If There Are Other Signs He’s Losing Interest

  • His enthusiasm seemed like it disappeared
  • You never felt comfortable, always walking on eggshells, filtering yourself
  • Felt like you were chasing him, never had him
  • Felt like you were more into him than him into you

MORE: Why Men Disappear and How to Deal

Again, disappointing but either one of two things is true:

  1. It wasn’t a match, in which case, no loss. Move on.
  2. Or it was a match, but your own fears sabotaged the relationship potential.

In which case you learned the most valuable lesson you can learn in your love life: in order for our relationships to work with others, we need it to work within ourselves.

Our relationship with fear is the biggest component of this…

Either you have well-being or you have fear driving your inner world.

Well-being is the foundation of confidence.

Well-being is not pretending you don’t want or care about anything. It’s being able to accept that you might not get what you want and knowing that even if that’s how it works out, you’re OK and you’ll be OK.

MORE: The Real Reason Guys Suddenly Lose Interest

I know you probably still have some specific questions about texting, so let’s address the most common ones I hear:

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I “Double Text” If He Hasn’t Texted Me All Day?

Sure. People (men and women) get hung up on these texting rules when the real problem is fear.

Think about it. When you’re not afraid of losing something, do you worry about stuff like double-texting, waiting the right number of hours/days to text back, etc.?

No, you don’t, because you’re not hung up on the idea of screwing things up, so you act naturally. And you know what? Acting naturally is the most attractive thing you can do when texting.

The thing is, acting naturally isn’t about doing something… it’s about not doing something. That is, not acting from fear!

So yeah, you can double-text if you want. The one and ultimate texting rule is: don’t text from a place of fear.

MORE: Should I Text Him?

Should I Wait Hours Or Days Before Texting Him Back?

See the last answer… you can text a guy immediately or wait however long you want. Doesn’t matter.

Only thing that matters is that you’re not texting from a place of fear.

Fear has a way of making every action stink of desperation. Anything done from a place of fear comes off awkward, forced, weird and off-putting.

So again, the real problem to solve is fear, always fear.

Solve that and you’ll come off far more charming, attractive and likeable.

MORE: When a Guy Doesn’t Text Back

I Think He’s Ghosting Me, Can I Save Things?

Honestly, it’s a matter of how deep was the relationship in the first place.

If we’re talking about a guy you went on a few dates with and now he’s not texting back after a week or more, yeah, you should let that go.

But if this is a guy you’ve been seeing for awhile, you have more than a shallow connection and it’s been some number of days since he’s texted, he might be pulling away but it’s fixable.

In that case I’d say read my articles about why men lose interest and why men pull away emotionally for what to do to fix things.

Remember, when he doesn’t text back for days, it’s easy to spiral into worry. But the solution is almost always found in managing your own fears first, then approaching the situation with clarity rather than anxiety.

I Don’t Think He’s Ghosting, But I Do Feel Like I’m Losing Him… What Can I Do?

The fact is, sometimes you may unknowingly do things to cause a guy to pull away and start to lose interest. No one is perfect.

If you do find that he’s pulling away, read this next to learn exactly how to bring him back: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...

Hope it helps,
eric charles

What To Do When He Hasn’t Texted In A Few Days

  • 2-3 days without texting is normal – life gets busy. But a week of silence? That’s when you’re dealing with an actual problem that needs addressing.
  • When a guy goes quiet, it’s rarely about you – he might be busy, stressed, or simply not big on texting. The worst thing you can do is text him from a place of fear or anxiety.
  • Fear is the real relationship killer. When you seek constant reassurance, you create the very problem you’re afraid of – he feels your neediness and pulls away even more.
  • The solution isn’t manipulation or texting strategies – it’s accepting that the relationship might not work out and knowing you’ll be OK either way. This mindset shift turns off the fear and neediness instantly.
  • If it’s been a week with no text, take it as a soft breakup. Fighting this reality only prolongs your pain – either it wasn’t a match (no loss) or your fears sabotaged what could have been.
  • There are no special texting “rules” that will save a relationship – the only rule that matters is don’t text from fear. Acting naturally is always the most attractive thing you can do.
he hasn't texted in a few days

Written by Eric Charles

I'm Eric Charles, the co-founder and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing articles to help people free themselves from suffering and have clarity in their love life. I have a degree in Psychology and I've dedicated the last 20 years of my life to learning everything I can about human psychology and sharing what gets people out of struggling with life and into having the life they really want. If you want to contact me, feel free to reach out on Facebook or Twitter.

7 comments… add one

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Tonya

I have been in a relationship for almost a year now and this is my 1st one since my last ex in 2010 & to say that I’m rusty on dating is an understatement. I suffer from major depression, severe anxiety and PTSD from past abusive relationships. I really like this guy a lot but I know he’s super busy with work and he’s very close to his family and they spend a lot of time with each other. He’s the nicest guy I have ever met in the past 12 years that I’ve been single and trying to date. But I know my mental health issues are caused me to sabotage the relationship because I constantly fear he doesn’t like me. Even though I’ve met his parents and his brother and it’s too best friends. But when I don’t hear from him for a few days I start to panic and he when I don’t get to see him cuz our work schedules are total opposites of each other. I just don’t know how to stop feeling like this and I want to get in check before I really mess it up.

Reply January 24, 2023, 7:36 pm

Vimto

You are worrying about things which are not important. As long as he is asking you out, that’s good enough. He is not your boyfriend and does not owe you texts in between dates.

Reply May 19, 2022, 3:19 pm

Pauline

Some of the most grounded and sensible advice I’ve seen. Well done for not man-bashing and for setting reasonable scenarios and actions. Very helpful

Reply July 8, 2021, 7:21 pm

Joanna

This really helped calm me down. I was going to send some texts that would have made me look crazy.

My boyfriend got back to me and we talked about it. He has been really stressed and wasn’t answering anyone. I wish he would text more often but I’m trying not to seem needy.

Reply May 4, 2020, 7:58 pm

Jake

One possibility is that he is waiting to see if you’re interested in him enough to take the initiative and text first. If he’s always the one initiating contact he might be worried that you aren’t really interested. If he’s ignoring your text and not replying that’s a different story, but if you just haven’t heard from him when there was no initial text from you he might be sitting by his phone wondering why YOU haven’t reached out.

Reply June 30, 2022, 4:26 pm

Kelly

I had a connection with a guy but we are 3 hours away, we text all the time he planned to come down but he didn’t make it I then shut off thinking he wasn’t ever going to come but what if I’m wrong? We start texting again but yes a bit off not making further plans and never rings so I say to him I’m bored of texting now and to call me if he ever wants a chat or to meet up and to have a good week. I’ve not heard back from him it’s been a few days so should I leave it I left it in his court?

Reply March 11, 2020, 3:10 am

chicascapalot

exactly what i needed to hear, thank you

Reply December 19, 2019, 11:39 pm

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