the other guy is taking the easy handouts because he can…
If you got fired, you would probably be very upset whereas the second guy probably wouldn’t really care… he might even go so far as to blame and criticize the company as if it was their fault for his poor work quality (because he’s used to getting away with stuff).
Point is: you value your job and your company recognizes that you do, so they keep you and invest in you. The other company values the slob and invests in that loser, who’s actually doing much more to bring that company down than to bring it up.
Now, in this analogy, you have to bear in mind that I’m contrasting you (the employee who loves her job and her job loves her back) against a deadbeat employee who doesn’t care about his job (but his job doesn’t want to get rid of him for some reason)…
At this point, I might ask what would you do if you were in the company’s position? If you hired an employee who wasn’t performing at the job and wasn’t working hard, would you fire that employee… or would you try to force it to work?
Granted, I’m not suggesting that you’d fire an employee immediately if they weren’t measuring up right away, but if you were in the company’s position I would have to ask you: How long do you allow a worker to under perform (or just plain not care at all) before you fire them? At what point do you say “Enough!”?
In this case, you’re hiring a man to fill the role of “man in your life”. You know what happens to companies who can’t fire bad employees who are bringing the company down… How is the “man in your life” performing?
Loving the chase is not why men commit to you in the same way that making you chase a promotion or accomplishment is not why you commit to your job. You commit to it because you’re getting something of true value from the job and you’re willing to give something of value back.
This idea of “men love the chase” needs to die…
Did you love “chasing” your position at your job? Did you love “chasing” your raise and promotion? I would imagine you didn’t at all… in fact, I’d imagine it’s the worst part of your working experience…
Imagine how much you’d want to punch me in the face if I had the audacity to say that you “love the chase” of getting a promotion? That’s exactly how men feel when you suggest that they “love the chase”… it’s a poisonous misinterpretation and the opposite of a healthy mindset.
Now I know you read some dating advice garbage by so-and-so-charlatan-dating-advice writer about how “men’s biology” and “evolutionary science” said blah blah blah about how men love the chase. I’m here to tell you that it’s total garbage: It’s false, it doesn’t work and it’s simply nonsense that irresponsible marketers are repeating to make you buy their garbage relationship book.
People who succeed don’t focus on making someone chase. They focus on their own value, they have a clear idea of what they want and they select someone who genuinely enjoys them.
This isn’t a game. It’s simple. Know you have value and options, know what you want, pick one that you love and loves you back. It is not rocket science, but it’s impossible if you view it any other way.
When you get THIS… and I mean, really get it and understand it on the deepest level… then relationships will become really simple and effortless for you… even when you “really like the guy”.
Hope it helps,