From Heartbreak and Back: He Left Me For Another Woman post image

From Heartbreak and Back: He Left Me For Another Woman


My four year relationship ended three days before Valentine’s Day during my senior year of college. I was about to graduate and had planned on moving to be closer him. I figured three years of a long distance relationship was more than enough and I was ready to see where the relationship was heading. Me moving had also been our plan since I started college. Little did I know, he had planned something else entirely- a future without me.

I brought up the issue of moving when I visited him in December. He constantly avoided the topic and managed to change the subject every time. He assured me that I did not need to worry about the future, that everything would be fine, and that I needed to stop planning too much. I guess the holiday season, and the fact that we were together during that break, completely blinded me, so for the remainder of my holiday I didn’t question him anymore.

However, I noticed that he had changed.  He was spending most of his times in front of the computer screen, “chatting with some old friends,” he had told me. On top of that, he was also spending most of his time at work while I was there.  He told me that he couldn’t get any days off because he just got promoted and needed to focus on the job. When he did get days off, he was always talking on his cell (“calls from work,” he would tell me). At one point I got so upset at him that I just snapped. I told him how I felt and that it was such a waste to come and spend my break with him when he couldn’t even sit still and pay attention to what we were talking about. He asked me to understand the nature of his job and basically told me that I did not understand what it was like to have a job and responsibilities.

Needless to say, that winter break turned out to be the worst break I ever had. I went home feeling sad, disappointed and questioning the future of our relationship.

When school started, I finally gathered the courage to tell him that I wanted to move and live near him. His response: “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Go pursue your dreams, we can always figure this living arrangement later. You don’t have to think about me.” I was so crushed, but I realized I didn’t want to keep on waiting, not when everything between us was so uncertain. I told him that I wanted a break and that I couldn’t be in the relationship anymore. He was surprised but said he understood where I was coming from. He even told me he would be there through the break-up and that we would remain friends.

A week after our break-up he deleted every picture of us on his social network site and uploaded new pictures of him and his new girl in every sickening pose. She was a co-worker whom he had mentioned in passing and, evidently, the reason he spent all those days at work. She was also the reason he stayed in front of the computer all those nights. She was the reason he wanted out of our relationship. But what was most hurtful was that she was the reason he stopped loving me. I felt betrayed, dispensable, and lost. My world came crashing down the moment I found out the true reason behind our break up.

I confronted him over the phone, he acted dumb at first, but finally admitted that he did have an affair with this girl.”I never meant to hurt you,” he said.

I told him to go to hell and hung up the phone. Later on, he sent an apology e-mail telling me he was sorry and that all he was guilty of was lying to protect my feelings.

I spent most of my days after that crying, losing sleep, losing my appetite, and analyzing every detail of the relationship- thinking about what went wrong, what I had done to lose him and what a jerk he had been to me. I was fortunate to have my girls with me through it all. They were the ones who came to my rescue and offered me shoulders to cry on.

It took me a full year to really forgive my ex and move on with my life. It wasn’t easy. The journey was filled with lots of tears and mistakes. I dated guys who were wrong for me, just because I wanted to move on as quickly as possible.

Then the news came: my ex got married to the girl he left me for because he got her pregnant (karma’s a bitch). I felt bad for him- not because he was going to have a child, every child is always a blessing- but because he was suddenly forced into this marriage and adulthood, which he had initially wanted to avoid. He was only 22 year old when he married that girl (she was 19). He was robbed of the carefree times that he could have had. I did admire the fact that he didn’t turn his back and instead chose to be responsible and mature.

As for me, everything did turn out to be for the best. The heartbreak motivated me to be the best person that I can be and this coming winter I will graduate with a Master’s Degree. I am also in a relationship with the most wonderful guy. The heartbreak has given me the chance to grow as a person. As weird as it sounds, it did inspire me to prove to myself and others that I could get back up on my two feet. It gave me the courage that I had lacked when I was with my ex. It made me whole. And the most important thing: I finally understood that I needed to love myself before I’m able to love somebody else.

– ANONYMOUS

Submit your story on making it from heartbreak and back to info@anewmode.com (submissions will be kept anonymous if requested).

21 comments… add one

Leave Your Comment Now...

NATHANIEL

My girlfriend went away from me without any explanation. I was literally destroyed, I thought about the worst. after all the unsuccessful tries, I had to try the service of Dr.mac@yahoo. com and after i used service, my girlfriend returned home to me in sorrow and pain, apologizing. and every thing happened just the way as Dr Mack promised and everything worked just in 3 days, Dr Mack is really a truthful Man and so powerful and he is the most powerful Man that i have ever met, he is the only the Man that can help you get your Ex lover back and fulfill your heart desires, This is amazing! True story of my life!!!”

Reply May 19, 2017, 5:14 pm

jesica

well its painfull and hard to accept
first u will blame him for the pain and everything and then after you will start blaming yourself for everything why you didnt listen to people who where telling you to leave him before you got married.
all in all would be the confussion the heart break you are having but then as days go by weeks of feeling that he might return pass, you start to release that he is not coming back thats when u start picking up your broken pieces because the parrents,therapists all have not helped all he is asking for is a divorce. you know the most killing part is whenever you meet, he seems so happy and determined to leave without even having any idea what you are going through and his kids .deep down you still love him but he seems to enjoy hurting you thats what you see.the days at work everyone is tired of saying sorry to you because you dont seem to recover from your ditch. that was me and my life when my husband left me but i conquered, my life was turned by a colleague of mine from africa who was tired of seeing me miserable everyday and he gave me some healers number just to raise my hope high. he didnt think that the man would help me but because i was miserable i could try anything if they told me could solve my problem, so he gave me a guys number from south africa who started helping me and to cut the storry short he helped me and am happy again to tell you the truth i dont know where the bitch who took my husband dispeared to because she never came back to work again and untill today i dont know, anyway am happy thanks to musa who offered help when i least expected it his numbers are +27764463373 talk to him if you still love your man

Reply November 18, 2016, 6:52 am

Ky

I have been off again on again with my ex for over 5 years.
He constantly leaves me for other women proclaiming his love to all his friends and family.
We have a child and he has gotten worse he recently left me for another girl and the girl tells me how in love they are and how they are going to be together and how he promised to never come back here again.
He obviously denied this but as his things were in my place he was moving himself back to her.
You question yourself a lot and he chooses not to be in his child’s life.
I feel horrible about myself and hope to move forward and never know him ever again.
I hope they find whatever they are looking for.

Reply September 4, 2016, 8:26 pm

Mary

I have been there. I had to accept it, but I can’t say by no means that it was good for me. At first I had very annoying feeling of devaluation, I get gradually reconciled. At the end of the day, I think I am the loser not that boy nor the girl. We find pretexts to make ourselves feel better. This doesn’t change the fact of being abandoned, less attractive than someone else & neglected.

Reply August 5, 2016, 7:01 am

L

Ah, stories of recovery are great. I had one once. And then the rug got pulled out from under me. Over and over and over.

I’m still standing but I don’t believe in love anymore.

Reply May 13, 2016, 2:29 pm

JAC

Hye.. i have gone through a very similar thing too. It was a 5 yr relationship. We both studied at the same university, graduated at the same time, everything in the universities we had been through together makes me think that hes the one i wanna be with. I still remember after our last exam during last semester, we were going to be apart (LDR). That night we cuddled and he cried saying hes going to miss me so bad.. ppl say that guy cry if she loves the girl (thats what i believe). I thought he loves me, i was so wrong. 3 month after graduation, he got a job while i was still jobless. I was so happy for him at least he could buy a flight ticket to meet me. He told me that he needed to undergo training before he can be promoted. I was fine by that, i mean its good for both of us right. So i made an effort to surprise him. I bought a flight ticket on 13th feb, thinking to celebrate valentines together with him at his hometown. We had some arguement, the same as urs which he spend less time for me than his job. I was so upset at him. Didnt replied his text for a day! The next day, still no news of him. I tried calling n texting him but he wouldnt answer. I tot he needed space so i let him be. The next morning, i received a text from him, saying hes tired of couple and cant stand LDR. He wants to be free. I get it. But i begged him to stay with me and contact me. Then i received an inbox from my friend asking me “do u guys just broke up?”. I was shocked cause its too quick for him to declare. Immediately i checked his facebook. Guess what, i cant access it! He blocked me. I asked my friend to check him out for me.. there u go..the reason behind the leave, a pict of him with another girl with a caption saying “i found my true love”. Why is it so quick for him to claim that girl is his true love?I was devastated, i asked myself “who am i to him after all these year?”. I am so down. I dont know what to do. I think of him everyday. I miss him. It has been 4 days since he left me. :'(

Reply February 4, 2016, 12:52 pm

nina

Hey, I just want to know how are you doing now? I’m in the similar situation. It’s been 3days since my ex bf ended our relationship. He said he doesn’t love me anymore then he blocked me then now he’s back with is ex (now gf again). I feel so devastated now. Everyday I cry, can’t almost focus in everything. How can someone just throw you away just like that. I don’t know what to do now. I really want to talk with someone who has the same as situation as me. So that I won:t feel alone. Because right now I really feel alone. Help!

Reply February 11, 2016, 7:09 am

Mallory

I am in the same situation. Even though, through everything he never made me his girlfriend. That’s what hurts the most. To you & jcv…it will be okay. Pray & talk about it. What helps me is writing poems & reading motivational quotes. Look up Trent Shelton on instagram, facebook, or twitter. I understand you guys. We will be okay . It’s those guys lost. We are good women.

Reply February 16, 2016, 11:02 am

JAC

Hye. I feel much better now. The first week of the breakup was horrible but i made it through. Its hard but life goes on. I know how you feel. Be strong okay? You can do this. Lets prove him wrong <3

Reply February 20, 2016, 6:17 am

Gina

I have gone through a very similar thing too. I was in a relationship that went long distance. He was turkish and used the language barrier to have an affair right under my nose. He became cruel and unkind and I used to keep thinking what am I doing wrong, he mentally abused me. Making me out to be the needy, weird person. A friend of his had to tell me about it which I found pathetic. He said to me I have no feelings for you, that really hurt as we were engaged and together for 5 years. I will never forget that monster I met that day covered behind that mask. When a person shows you this side believe it.I had invested so much of myself into this relationship which of course was such a big mistake. I still suffer from nightmares, and panic attacks. I didn’t realise how strong I was until this.

Reply November 16, 2015, 8:36 pm

rajvee

You go girl… You just inspired a girl who recently got her heart broken! God bless you always :* i hope things turn out to be the best for me as well.

Reply June 27, 2015, 8:17 am

Anon

Going through a similar thing.
It’s horrible. I’m not the 1st & won’t be the last.
Thank you

Reply April 9, 2015, 1:10 am

Sierra Prempeh

That was exactly what I needed. Thank you so much.

Reply March 15, 2015, 9:41 pm

betterwithoutyou

wow, i never post on things like this but i wanted to say thank you. this really made me smile.

Reply February 10, 2015, 6:56 pm

razieh

thank you very much. i dont believe i found my question on your website.
i love you
u saved me from a life of misery
i love youuuuuuuuuuu
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Reply March 10, 2012, 11:40 am

reviewing girl

thanks for your post, im currently getting through a hard time and it makes me feel better when i read stuff like this… my goal for now is to improve my self.. not think about him… and im trying hard as hell not to let what happened define who i am… d greatest revenge is for me to be able to love my self… 🙂 thank you

Reply August 27, 2011, 9:16 am

Anonymous

I’ve had the same problem.Well I dated this guy from my school over the summer. Well it was all going good until he lied to me. He lied to be about hanging out with (what used to be my friend). Well my friends tell me that something is up with him. Well me and him broke up two days before school started back. But he had cheated on me with that supposed to be friend and 6 other girls. When he finally came clean it really hurt my feelings.

Anonymous

Reply November 15, 2010, 3:35 pm

vvvv

well,
i had a bf who was a drop out from school. and he decided to go back to school to supposibly spend more time with me and i was scared BOUT this to because i knew that some of his exs went to the same school.

when we entered school he started to change, he stopped callin me, he stopped visiting it was like a no no. he made up excuses. iknew something was wrong but i was so inlove i didnt want to believe it,

alot of times i saw him with a friend of mine which infact i even asked her if something was going on with them. she would always tell me no. i believed her till one day my friend told me that she had seened them kissin textin all this sweet talk and dirty talk i was soo HURRT!
i cried and sucked it up when up to them both he did nothing he just laughed (i can picture this now in my head) and she stayed quiet nothing to say.

its been 6 months now and just looking back i feel stupidand at times it still hurts seeing him with other girls he dumped tje chick he was cheating on me with and moved on to many other girls. but these bit of feelings are still here.

he was my first love the only one i took serious but time heals these woundss. 😐

Reply October 12, 2010, 1:07 pm

Anonymous

Thank you for this post. It not only provided a lot of insight but also motivation. I wish you the best of luck and Congratulations on everything you’ve accomplished! You go girl

Reply August 2, 2010, 10:34 pm

Laara

I posted a comment asking for help with my boyfreind on askaguy@anewmode.com
on July 02 2010, and was wondering how long it takes to get a reply.

Thanks, laara

Reply July 3, 2010, 2:37 pm

Sneha

Hey there! I just had a break up and my story is quite similar to yours. My ex bf left me for another girl but he told me that he wasn’t ready for a relationship so he wanted a break up. Later on I got to know that actually he was seeing some other girl that his parents had chosen for him. It hurt me a lot and I am still very hurt and yet to recover. It has been only two weeks and I feel as if I am left no where. I am about to get done with my bachelors program and am also a scholar at my university and have not let this mishap hamper my life or career. But sometimes the pain seems unbearable and I can’t help but burst into tears. Your story really gave me motivation to take this break up positively. Thank You for posting this!

Reply November 30, 2009, 1:10 pm

Leave a Comment

Recent Relationship Forum Activity

STOP LETTING MEN
CONFUSE YOU

Sign up for our
free newsletter
and get a free chapter
of our book,"He's Not
That Complicated"