Ask a Guy: Does He Like Me Or Am I Bugging Him? post image

Ask a Guy: Does He Like Me Or Am I Bugging Him?


I met a guy about two and a half weeks ago. We had a long conversation, he asked for my number and he texted me the next day. Since we met, I was never the one to call or text him first, I kinda always wait until he does. I don’t mean to ignore him because I do like him but I’m scared I might be bugging him.

Now, he really doesn’t text me as much as he used to (he always responds if I text him though). Do you think he might get tired of me or give up if I always wait for him to contact me? Should I reach out to him more often? How do I know if I’m bugging him?

See our guy’s response after the jump!

Actually… I think he might think that you don’t like him! Meanwhile, you’re trying not to annoy him, but he is interpreting it as you ignoring him because you’re not into him.

I think that if you had a long conversation and connected then it means that there’s potential for you to connect further. The thing is… sometimes you have to put yourself out there and risk possibly being annoying or intruding. Sometimes you have to risk making a mistake or being rejected… If you’re too afraid to take a chance with someone else, chances are that they won’t risk taking a chance with you.

My feeling is that you should talk with him if you like talking with him – if you’re doing something he doesn’t like, he will let you know one way or another. But if you don’t say anything to him, he’s going to feel like you’re not interested.

I would say reach out and try to initiate contact once or twice.  If he doesn’t pick it up and run with it, then I would say forget about it.  It’s worth trying and if it doesn’t come together, you’ll know that you tried and you can move on.

If he doesn’t start initiating contact or making any sort of plans with you, it’s probably not worth it to put anymore hope or effort into connecting with him.

I can tell you as a guy that I’m used to having to make the first move.  It’s just the way it is for guys.  But if a girl initiates contact with me, it’s definitely nice.  Even if I’m not into her, it never come off as desperate or creepy or weird.  I’ve always just looked at it as friendly.

As with everything else though, this is my opinion based on what you’ve told me here.

Hope it helps.

– eric charles

{ 143 comments… add one }

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Brittbrat

Hey guys have a question well I grew up with this guy and we started talking through FB. We was texting for a while never talked on the phone then he lied and said he was coming to see me and never came then we stopped texting. Couple of weeks later he texted me out of the blue we started back texting talked on the phone a couple of tymes he told me he had been out of town for 2weeks and that’s why he stopped textin so I brushed it off I asked if he was single he said yes so that made me really into him more we always text each other good morning every morning and text through out the day so again he ask if he could see me and of course I said yes and we set a date ok Friday came we text and said our good morning and then sat came didn’t really here frm him that morning but he texted me that evening but he didn’t bring up about him coming to see me and that night came texted him about 8or9 asked him was he coming and he replied the night is not over and I told him I almost was and I didn’t here from him no more not even the next day or today! I dnt knw where I go wrong with him or if he’s not really into me could anyone help me understand do I need ta block him and move on or see if he text me back

Reply November 24, 2014, 9:31 am

Shearies

Hello, I’m a 54 year old recently divorced woman who’s been talking with this man who’s 47 years old for the past 2 years. He’s the one who came on to me. He told me he had been watching me for awhile. I never knew this. He always would compliment me on my style of dress and he must’ve had a foot fetish because he would compliment me on my feet and tell me what he would do to them. I would laugh and say ‘is that so’. After a couple of months he asked me my name. I told him and asked his name. A couple of weeks after he asked me for my phone number and I gave it to him. I believe after a week later he called me. We talked it was nice conversation. He told me where he lived. Anyway, we both see each other every day because he has what he calls a hustle. I see him on my way to work because he’s on the same street where I catch my bus to go to work and that’s where he does his hustle. He said he’s trying to pay for his new car that he had just got which he showed me. One day he stopped me to ask if I was going to be at a concert that was going to be in the community that we both grew up in (Brooklyn, NY). We found out that we both grew up in Brooklyn. Though I live in Manhattan, NY now and he still lives in Brooklyn. Anyway I told him yes, but he didn’t come. I did text him that night but didn’t hear from him til I go home late that night. He said he didn’t come out til late and I was already gone. I told him I texted him but he said he doesn’t always have his phone on him and that he doesn’t do a lot of texting, though we have texted each other for a little time. I remember I once asked him about his daughter, who he told me that he rarely calls his daughter because her mother always put stuff in her head. He showed me a picture of her and him going to her graduation. He said he and her mother are not together. He has asked me how come I don’t have a man and did I live with my boyfriend. I told him I don’t have a boyfriend that I live with my sons. Then about a week or two later I asked him the same, he told me that he use to live with an elderly man who died and he kept the apartment, but then the Housing Dept. heard about it and they tld him he had to leave. So he told me that a friend (female) he went to school with allowed him to stay with her and he pays her room and board ($200) and that she has two kids in college. He said he’s been staying there the past 6 years and that he has to find a place of his own. We only see each other on the street when he’s on his hustle and I’m on my way to work. He always would tell me he’s going to call me and I would say ok, but he never does, though I would never call him either cause I don’t like to be the first to call or text. But there were times I would text him just to say how his day was but it was very rare only because he didn’t text me only at times he would surprise me with a text. Whenever he wasn’t going to be on the block where we would see each other he would tell me because he had to go out of town to travel to his mothers hometown or his fathers hometown. This past summer I took a trip away for a week and when I got back he wondered where I had been. So I said to myself ‘Oh he must have missed me’. I remembered how he had put his arms around my waist to pull me closer to him. It felt good. The past year while we were being friends we grew to hugging each other to pecks on the cheek and somewhat on the lips. That’s as far as our physical friendship has gone. He’s never asked me out only on two occasions he asked when were we going to get together and I told him when he is less busy because I remember him saying he’s trying to make money since he didn’t have a real job, though he told me that he is looking for a job and he also told me that he has a court case waiting because he was in a car accident and injured his elbow which he showed me, and told me he went through therapy and his arm is good, but still awaiting his day in court. I remember one day when I got to work I called him and asked what he was doing for the weekend and he said he was going to a barbeque, so he asked me ‘why’ did I want him to come see me. I said to him know that I wanted to come out to see him, but he said ‘ok but I told you my situation. So I thought about it and said that I would call him later. I didn’t go because I felt out of place asking him that and I apologized to him the next day. He said it was ok. Then I asked him again about his situation is the woman he lives with his girlfriend and he got upset and indignate with me. He said ‘I told you that’s not my girlfriend I just stay there until I can find my own place’, and he said that the woman is fat and lazy. So after awhile I started not making myself acknowledging him when I see him only because I read that you sometime have to let the man come to you because men like to pursue and not that I always went to him when I saw him because I was never that way, don’t like making myself seem available. So when I began to do this he would come to me and I said woow! Because I didn’t think he would but he did and I liked it. But then after awhile he stopped coming to me which was ok with me only because I do remember one time when he and I was talking I told him I didn’t like people looking at us and minding our business when we greeted each other in the morning. We were never obscene or disrespectful it was always respectful, just a hug and a kiss on the cheek that’s it. And just a few weeks back he told me the same that he didn’t like everybody in his business and I felt the same. One day a couple of months back though I had to tell him how I felt about him. I told him that I had grown a fond liking to him and that I liked the confidence that he has and how he has a lot of potential with people and I would like to get to know him a little more. He received what I said and he said ‘that’s good to know’ and that we can make that happen. But we continued on with our same routine because I didn’t want to push him because I remembered one time that he told me he just wants to take his time with me. So I respected that and didn’t want to push because I’m not that kind of woman and since his situation was the way it was as well. The last four/five months he told me that he was going to be leaving the block he’s been looking for a real job and a few weeks ago he shared with me that he was going on an interview and I told him that’s beautiful. I asked him what kind of work did he use to do he said a porter. Then a couple of days ago he went on another interview for a construction job. So a week ago Friday he saw me on the block and as I was passing he came to me and said ‘hey I got the job’, I said ‘great that’s wonderful’. He told me to call him and that he would tell me all about the details I said ok. I did call him that afternoon only because he use to tell me to call him after 2pm because he would leave the block at 1pm to drive back home. I never called him while he was on his hustle during the day because he was always about making money as he use to tell me. We talked for a good little while, I asked him did I catch him at a bad time he said ‘no’, so we talked further about life and relationships he said ‘you don’t see people in love or holding hands any more’ and I agreed with him though I was surprised he said this. I remember one time he had texted me that he took a nap and had a dream and I was in it. I said woow, was I being nice to him. He said you don’t even want to know that I would think he was nasty. So I said ok you don’t have to tell me. But anyway, we continued to talk and he asked was I going to miss him, I sorta-kinda said yes, but asked him was he going to miss me he said yeah and when were we getting together and that he would call me. I told him like I told him a few months back when I got tired of him telling me he was going to call me that the phone works both ways and I told him that he’s been calling me so much I lost count because in the beginning he would call but not often and he would text at times but not often there either. So I haven’t heard from him this past week only because I’m not calling him since he started his new job. He said he’ll see how the job works out if not he’ll be back on the block. I told him I will keep him in my prayers that all will work out. I haven’t heard from him this past week and I don’t want to call him unless he calls me first. I did like him but I’m not going to try and figure him out. I figured if he likes me he would show some interest. But can you tell me what should I do because I really don’t want to call him or text him and make myself look silly. I’m not that kind of woman. I don’t have a problem waiting for him to call but if he never does it’s ok. Can you help?

Reply October 26, 2014, 10:11 pm

Makayla Greene

I really need help here. So there is this guy and we have know each other forever but we only became friends two years ago. Well I have a crush on him and we flirt all the time. He will steal my phone and teases me( in a joking way) all the time. he even seems to get a bit jealous when I talk to other guys. Most of the time he butts into the convo. I catch him staring at me all the time and when I catch him him smirks and looks away. Everyone says that he flirts with me all the time. We ride the same bus and when he takes my phone, we wresale. He talks to me every time and we sometimes walk to class together. However, he found out I liked him and said that I needed to be brave and tell him himself. So I did but he told me he was too busy for a girlfriend right now. The day after that he just stared at me all day and my other best guy friend and me were walking to class together and he just stared at us the whole time. We didn’t text that night but we texted the next morning for a while. Idk if he is just leading me on or is really just busy or is just scared to be my boyfriend. I really need help, plz help me!

Reply October 18, 2014, 7:33 pm

Onya

Hi everyone, I’m really in need for advice in this one. I’ve met a guy over a year ago, we used to see each other occasionally and we kinda hook up. He was always respectful. Recently for the past 2 months he has been more caring and been messaging daily – short messages just asking about my day and stuff and our conversations grew deeper. The last time we met (a wk ago) we had sex and it was a nice night. However it’s been a week since I have heard from him (since we last met), please advise me on what to do or what might be the reason of his backing off.

Thanks

Reply October 16, 2014, 2:40 pm

jelly

Hi. I’m just a mere teenager here. I need some serious advice. Please help. My issue is that I told a guy i have feelings for him on a note, and he read it. He hasn’t been weird about it… but he keeps telling me we should meet up in private. Why does he want to meet in private to tell me an answer? I mean I’m okay with him rejecting me, but why does he want to only talk face to face? Please help me. I am really lost here. If you ever do answer me…thank you. It’d mean a lot to me.

Reply September 17, 2014, 4:02 pm

Paris

Hello I’m 27 year old and I met my guy friend on yahoo chat room 7years ago, we lived about 2hrs away from each other but never meet face to face yet… Me and him been text buddy all this years until now we finally talk on the phone it was wonderful…Anyway he do not initiated the first texts or calls and couple of days ago I text him one night asked him how he doing he reply back ” nothing bored h**** and sleepy wbyb?” I was so shocked what he text me, then he was question my relationships… I told him last night that I got feeling for him ,he told me he do not know me as compacity me and him never meet or hung out…so we are trying to make plan to finally met face to face

Reply September 10, 2014, 11:10 pm

Gemma101

I like this one guy and I want to know if he likes me back. I find it weird that whenever he makes a joke or a silly/stupid comment he looks at me and smiles at me and he had never done that to me. One time he caught me staring at him and he just stared back and smiled, waved, and said hi. I have caught him staring at me a few times.

Reply September 5, 2014, 9:49 pm

Catherine

I just met this guy twice. He lives in other country. I met this guy when I hung out with my friend whom also best friend with this guy. He’s very nice, and perhaps a lil bit shy. I was like love at the first sight. I’m done looking, I just want this one. At his last day, I asked for his number (in which I never asked or made my first move). So the next day, I texted him saying if he’s in town, he should chat me up so we could hang out. He agreed and asked me to add his snapchat if I want to. So I did, and the conversation stopped the moment I told him I already did, and he said I’m on his list already so I said okay. Then it stopped. Should I text again? Wouldnt it be a lil bit desperate? So confuse!

Reply September 2, 2014, 8:39 am

Linda

I met a guy on line, and he has stand out of the crowd, behaving in a very masculine and caring way, even though it sounds like an oxymoron. We chatted on line, moved to video chat (we live in different countries in Europe) and things moved very fast toward, well, romance. We’ve felt at easy from the very beginning and could chat for hours. He brings the best out of me and also allows the woman I am to surface, what is not a common occurrence, me being normally rather not feminine. I think both of us were surprised how fast things moved on and the way we feel.
After a couple of weeks he said that coming to see me is the only logical thing to do in order to know where we stand, but afterwards decided not to come and even more to hold back, because “I am very wary after a previous break up and do not want to be hurt again”. Eventually, without me telling him to reconsider, he decided we move forward at his pace. We keep video chatting and feeling good to communicate, and as a prove I can say that last time when we said Hello both looked tired and sad and after one hour we looked fresh and happy. He said he does not want to call me too frequently until we meet in person, hence we talk once a week. We did not set a time to meet. I do not call him, do not text him and do not left messages on Skype.
Whenever he calls I smile, am light and funny and sweet, also playful and confident and never ask him why did not call earlier. On the one hand he is constantly talking about how hurt he was during his former relationship and on the other hand is telling me that he knows that I can make him happy and needs a relationship to invest 100% of himself in. It is very difficult for me to wait for his calls not knowing when and even if they come and I do feel like living in a limbo. I am also afraid that I am fantasizing about this guy and a possible future with him and cannot stop thinking that I am not given the chance to play the game and what I am left with is to wait on the bench to see the score.
Thank for reading this very long message.

Reply August 22, 2014, 11:59 pm

Anne

Hey Linda!
Just slow down a little, because you guys haven’t met yet and you don’t know where you stand so you don’t want to end up hurt, by rushing this. Just take things slow and see where it goes and you need to watch out that he isn’t trying to rebound with you, basically be with you to help him forget his pain and move on from his previous relationship.
By the way, how old are you both?

Reply August 23, 2014, 6:17 am

Linda

Thanks for the advice. He is 61 and I am 53. May I ask why is that relevant?

Reply August 23, 2014, 10:09 am

Anne

Hey again! Oh it’s not so relevant. Just to get an idea. Well you are not teenagers, so you are both mature and responsible enough to know what you are doing and what you want from One another, without needing to play any ” games” or such things.

Reply August 23, 2014, 10:39 am

Linda

Hi Anne. My point exactly. This is why I do not understand why he is not more aware of the limited number of good years ahead. If he does not come to see mee I feel that all we have is the regret that we did not even tried to see if things could work out.

August 23, 2014, 11:29 am

Anne

Yes, well I see your point, but unfortunately he may not, or maybe he simply does not want the same things you do. Have you tres asking him what he is looking for right now? Maybe that will clear things up.

Reply August 23, 2014, 12:07 pm

Linda

Hi Anne,
He only mentioned that he wants a relationship with 100% commitment, but is afraid to fall in love and be hurt again. Also, he mentioned to be surprised of how at ease is with me and how much likes me.

August 24, 2014, 2:38 pm

Linda

Hi Anne,
Thanks again, I did not intend to send anything else but a casual “Hi, hope you enjoyed the bank holiday”, but I already re-consider. The truth is that if he does not miss me enough to feel the urge to contact me, why should I remind him that I do exist? Anyhow, I do miss him and regret that did not have the chance to try. First time in my life, at my age, it really hurts, but I’ll move on. Not sure what I am going to do if after a couple of weeks he pops is. Should I behave like nothing happened?
Thanks again.

August 27, 2014, 3:34 am

Anne

Oh alright, well give him time. Time shows people if they can trust you or not, and maybe thats all he needs, reassurance by not only your words but your actions. But don’t give him TOO much time either. I mesn ig you still find yourself in this situation without any improvements in a few months thn its time to move on.

Reply August 24, 2014, 3:07 pm

Linda

Thank you very much, Anne. I’ll follow your advice.

August 25, 2014, 11:04 am

Linda

Me again. Sorry to bother you, but after more than one week of silence I feel like I could text him something to convey the message that I am still interested. The truth is that there is a 2 hours time difference, and I am mostly off line when he arrives from his office. On the other hand, he did not left any off line message on Skype; he also has my phone number but we have never texted nor called. It is really hard to have no news from him for so long, even though he said he call less frequent until we meet in person – but we never decided when this is going to happen. I feel anxious and sad. Please, help.

August 26, 2014, 11:45 pm

Anne

Hi!
Well, I guess you could text him. But before you do that, relax, take a deep breath and don’t blurt out everything you are feeling to him. Just ask him how he is and how his day was, something casual, since you have never texted nor called before.
And if he doesn’t answer then leave it at that. Don’t text him again.

August 27, 2014, 2:29 am

Anne

Hi Linda,
Yes I think that is better. If he does pop in in a few weeks well you shpuld react the way tou feel at that point which should be motmal considering that you will be moving on now right?
I think both parties should initiate contact but neither one
should have to wait around for the other one to pick up their phone and contact the person or any other sort of contact.

Reply August 27, 2014, 3:48 am

Linda

Hi Anne,
Just to let you know that I did not text him, but he called, told me he did not want to ignore me, but was ill; now we are moving on. We changed somehow the rules, I message him and he seems very pleased – mentioned several times during an evening conversation how much he liked the exchange of messages in the morning. Hope to build on what we have and have a real relationship.
Thanks a lot for your advice.

September 3, 2014, 1:22 am

Anne

Oh well that is great! I am really happy for you :)
You’re more than welcome.

Anne

Reply September 3, 2014, 8:16 am

Alexandria

I met this guy at this weekends past Pride festival. I met him, because he was cosplaying one of my favorite t.v. shows: Supernatural. and we kept bumping into each other through out the day, him with his two friends, and me with my too.
Anyways, towards the end, we all were by the stage talking about books and movies and everything, and dancing around like idiots. It was a blast!

We’re both 16, but we go to different schools, in fact, he lives about 40 miles away from my house :(
After pride ended, my friends asked them if they wanted to go grab pizza and hang out some more, so we did. and I just found myself crushing so hard /.\ like every time I would talk, my words would turn to mush as soon as I looked at him. (im really big on eye contact with others while im talking, even if its a group)
Long story short, we all got each other’s numbers, and decided we’d try and hang out again sometime.
I texted him while we were still together, so he had my number. And then twice again (once sunday night, once Monday morning) and its Tuesday now, and im anxious to talk to him.
My friends keep poking fun at me because I “fell right into the deep end with that crush” with butterflies and day dreaming and all of the things that come with Crushing. Bleh.
Anyways, he still hasn’t texted me back, and his friend, A.K.A ex / waiting girlfriend says she thinks its weird, because he’s usually really good with texting people back.
Maybe im over reacting. Maybe I don’t stand a chance……but I don’t know what to do about anything anymore, and I just want to talk to him again so badly.

Help? Help would be so nice. Please and thank you, loads!

Reply August 19, 2014, 7:02 pm

Tanya Rowe

Hi there this is short but not so sweet. I recently told my man I kissed someone when I was drunk and now he doesn’t reply to my calls or textu so I don’t know were I stand or if he has actually left me??? He did hint he needed space I hope that’s wot it is????

Please do reply back I am loosing my marbles here

Reply August 16, 2014, 6:10 pm

Anne

Hey! Yep, show him you’re sorry, and you care, like text him, but not too much, he needs to know /feel you’re sorry and you care but you also need to give him space. He said he needs space, so thats what you need to give him. Unlike girls, guys like to solve their issues on their own instead of discussing their problems with their friends until they find a solution.

Reply August 16, 2014, 11:13 pm

Lolaa2991

Hello, so i was talkin to this guys fr like 2 months and evrything seemed so good, he would come over my house and say how much he liked me but one day he just stope texting, we lasted a wrrk without texting and so i texted him like weve never stopped talking, i didnt wanna make it seemed like i missed him. But conversations were very dry i didnt feel the connection there. I ordered something for his bday nd told him to come get it and so he invited mee to his bday but i feel like he invited me to not be rude. Evrytime we talk is because i text him . What shoulda i do? Should i go to his birthday party , or should i skipp it ? HELP

Reply August 15, 2014, 8:30 am

Shearies

I don’t know where to begin, I don’t know if black men and white men have the same attitude when it comes to dealing with women. I’m a black woman who works, has 4 sons and recently divorced, about a year now. Any way there has been a man who has been watching me for the past 2 years now, as he told me, and we have been talking to each other for the past year and have gotten a little close, not too close but just enough for hugs and pecks on the cheek or sometimes, not often, a kiss on the lips. That’s as far as we go. We see each other every day only because he works on the street as a vendor helping another guy and it is on my way to work that I see him because he is on the same street, same side where I have to catch my bus every morning to go to work. But before all of this he saw me one night at an event/concert. I didn’t see him, but he had grabbed my hand when he noticed me. I didn’t recognize him at first and he was surprised to see me out at the event. When I recognized who he was I said to myself “wow that’s the guy from up where I live. So he asked me did I live out there I said “no but my cousins live out here, and I grew up out here”. He said “oh, ok (still holding my hand) you look real nice” he said. I said “thank you” ( I’m a woman who keeps myself nicely dressed and I like my heels, lol). Then he said “I’m the guy who comes uptown”, I said “oh yes I remember you”. So one day this year on my way to work I saw him and he stops me and ask was I coming out to the same event that he saw me at last year and asked was I going this year. I said yes, he said ok and we left the conversation like that because I had to stop in the store but when I came out I looked up the street for him and he noticed me and I waved to him to come over and I asked him why did he ask was I coming to the event. He said he wanted to know if I knew who was performing this year. I said I didn’t know, he said ok and then he asked me my name, I told him and then asked him for his name and he told me. Then I asked him what does he do up there vending. I said you have a hustle, he said he helps his friend and he sells cigarettes. I said oh, ok. I don’t judge people because if that’s what he does then that’s what he does. He’s very handsome and nice, though he does sometime curses and makes me uncomfortable and one time I kinda whispered to him and said in my whispering voice “stop that cursing”, he did say he was sorry though, because he was admiring my style of dress. So as our little friendship progressed (I guess that’s what it is) with our ‘hello’s’ and ‘good mornings’ he asked for my phone number and I obliged him and gave it to him. After a few days he did call me and we talked. He told me where he lived in regards to area and he said for now that is where he lives and I told him my area which he knew that I lived uptown. So as time progressed we were texting on and off til one day I invited him to my birthday celebration but he text me back to say he wasn’t able to come as he was going out of town. But when he came back he texted me to say happy birthday and noted that I was a sweet and classy lady 100%. He said he just got in and he was tired and going to sleep and said enjoy your day, I said ok glad he was back safe and told him to rest easy and have a blessed week. So from then on it has been little texts. Then one day he was standing in front of the store that I was going in and he asked did I live with my boyfriend. I said “boyfriend, I don’t have a boyfriend”. He said ‘oh’ and I went in the store.Then I found out while we saw each other another time on the street he showed me a pic of his daughter, who he said graduated from high school. He was very proud of her and he talked about how he got her all her stuff for her prom and how he was very proud of her. I said she was very pretty and he should be proud of her and I didn’t know he had a daughter, but he told me she lives with her mother. I said you should be proud of her that it was beautiful that she graduated. Then one day I told him I like honesty in a person and respect. He seem to appreciate what I said and he said “and you demand it” I said ‘yes’. I turned the tables on him and said to him I can ask you the same thing that he had asked me awhile back and said how come he didn’t have a woman. I said do you have a girlfriend and are you married. He said noooo, just like that with emphasis on the no. He smiled and said he use to he live with a guy friend who died and he had the place to himself but then the neighbors started minding his business and he got put out because it was in his friends name. So he told me a friend he went to school with (a female) took him in with her two kids who are in college. She allowed him to stay there and pay her $200 month. So I looked at him and said hmm hmmm is that your girlfriend. He got a little indignate with me and said “I told you I don’t have a woman”. So left it alone. Ok, as we moved on just with the hugs, good mornings, and pecks and some kisses only on the lips called me and we talked for awhile and got to know where his folks were from and he told me he’s a person who doesn’t make a lot of noise and how he was a shy person in school. Then he told me how he had been watching me for awhile admiring my style and look. I told him how I was feeling him and liked his look. So he asked me did I like him before I knew that he was watching me or after I said after. I didn’t know he was watching me the past year so I was being honest. He doesn’t work but he said he is trying to pay for his new car and how he doesn’t want to pass up any money while he is on his hustle everyday. So I don’t interfere in that. One day as we were talking on the phone he said that he needed a woman that can cook and asked do I know how to cook. I said yes I can throw down, having a mother who is from the South I better know how to cook. He laughed and said ‘you sound like you know how’,so I said I would let him try my ribs he said no pork that he doesn’t eat pork. I said no I do beef ribs. But I didn’t cook it the next day I waited for about a week or two to make him a dish. When I did I brought it to him one morning he was surprised and I told him let me know if the meal was to his liking he said he definitely will. He loved it! But after that I told myself I wasn’t doing that again that is one of my rules that I broke and I was upset with myself. But anyway as our time progressed I sent him a pic of me just to say how was his day, he text back and said ‘hey classy/sexy lady got the pic…fine as wine!’ I text back and said thank you and you are too sweet, you are a very handsome brother enjoy your day. Then one day he did text me and asked how I was. I text back and said everything is beautiful and that I was thinking about him. He didn’t text me back though,? But the next day he text me and just said ‘hello’. I said ‘hey’ and that I would call him when I reach home if it was ok. He text back and asked what time would I reach home I told him and I believe I did call him that night. Anyway I went on my weekend vacation and text him another pic of me to say happy 4th of July because it was during that time. He didn’t text me back though. But when I came back from my vacation he saw me on my way to work I looked in his direction and he came to me and asks how my holiday was I told him it was good and he said how come I didn’t call him. I told him I sent him a text with a pic. He said oh yes I saw it and he said he doesn’t always have his phone on him all the time, ( I did forget to add awhile back that he said sometimes his daughter gets on him about this). So I say oh alright. About two weeks ago I sent him a text to say Good morning and was surprised that he text me back and he said ‘good morning sexy’, I text back and said ‘hey handsome how are you feeling today’? He text back and said he was just getting up and feeling good and happy for another day. I text back and said ‘Thank God, any day above ground is a good day’. That was the last of my texting. So since then he has still greeted me and there were times when I pass him if I was waiting for my bus to long I will go and try to catch another bus which I have to pass by his friends vendor setup and him to do so. But I don’t like to make it seem like I want him to always recognize me. As I’ve been reading some tips on how a woman should not allow herself to be too giving and I don’t. That we should let the man chase us. I also read that a woman should seem like she is disinterested at times, and the other times show that she is interested, to be disinterested one day and then the next interested in the guy. To let him come to me. I just came back from a week vacation that I didn’t tell him that I was going away. I said I wonder if he missed me. So when I went to work the next day I didn’t acknowledge him though I saw him down the street but I made sure not to acknowledge him. Low and behold he came to me gave me a strong hug and a kiss on the cheek. He said ‘hey you been away’, I said ‘yes, a much needed rested vacation’. He said where did I go, and I told him. Then next thing he puts his arm around my waist and pulls me close to him, I was surprised. Then when he released me he asked why didn’t I call him. I said to him ask yourself that question. He didn’t know what to say. I said that because he doesn’t call me so I don’t call him. I stopped texting too, though I did forget that sometime before he did say that he doesn’t do a lot of texting he’d rather call people. I remember one time when I saw him we were talking and he said he was just taking his time with me. I said taking time it good. Though I wanted to tell him don’t take too much time but then I don’t like to put pressure on no one and after all I guess it just about trying to know a person. But we haven’t been out together and I wonder why. I now in the beginning he said one day he was going to pick me up from work and let me ride in his new car, (I haven’t seen his car yet though). He has complimented me on my body. He’s never called my name though, when he see’s me he say’s ‘hey momma, or hey babe’, but that’s it. I do remember one time he referred to me as his ‘lady’, because and elderly person was holding his attention and he told them that he had to talk with his lady, referring to me, and I was surprised he called me that, I was like ‘wooow’ but I didn’t let him know that though. But since that time I never heard him say it. He just say hello momma or hey babe or he might say ‘alright mommie’ when I get on the bus and that’s when he comes and gives me a hug or kisses me. I do like him but confused on how to approach him and I don’t really want to open up to him because I don’t know what kind of relationship this is or is it a relationship or just a friendship and I don’t want to ask him because I am afraid. He always says he’s going to call me most of the time when I leave and get on the bus, and sometimes we say have a good day. But then he never calls me. I have too in relationship tips that a women should never call a man first to just wait. I don’t know what to say if I was to call him since I don’t know what kind of thing this is we have or do we? Sometimes I wonder if he is intimidated by me, I don’t make him feel uncomfortable, I am a very understanding person and I never judged him about anything because I don’t judge people. But I wish he would be honest with me. I know he told me he is just taking his time with me and that is good. Though we’ve never been out maybe because he feels he can’t afford me but what’s to afford. I’m a simple woman. I was born under the sign of Aries, and he was born in May the first as he did tell me his birthday awhile back. He is 7 years younger than me, I’m 54. I did ask him does that bother him he said no that he’s pushing 50 himself. He said it’s not about the age but the mind. I said true that age is only a number. This past Friday when I came to my bus stop I didn’t acknowledge him again I saw my friend and started talking with her and as she and I were talking he walked up on me and greeted me with a hug and a kiss then he said “Imma call you”, I said what I always say…’ok’. He never did call and when he say’s it he doesn’t call and I just keep saying ‘ok’. Can you help me please, I do like him but don’t know what to do.

Reply August 10, 2014, 8:42 pm

Christina

This is guy I work with. We had our first conversation, at work, about a TV show he should start watching. The next day he added me on Facebook and private message me about how he was addicted to the show. We kept messaging all day. A few days later he private message me again about shows and movies I should watch. We continued the private messaging for a few days. He then asked to go hang out and talk about an internship I did, in the past, because he wanted to hear about my experience. We finally set up a time to meet. We out to panera bread, he didn’t pay, and we sat and talked for 4 and a half hours. He text me that night that he had a good time. We talked every night and we got to the point we have so many inside jokes. He always picks on me, but at work he does that to all his female friends, even the married ones. One night he mentioned we should go hang out again, on a Friday. Once again we went to panera, a common place we both like, and I paid for my self again. Then we went to Barnes and Noble, we both love reading, for about 2 hours talking about politics and reading history books, something we both are interested in. After we walked and talked, this whole night, again, lasted about 4 hours. He did text me that he had a fun night at Barnes and Noble and than added an inside joke in the text. So we do text and talk a lot about its very dumb conversations. He does make fun of me a lot, but I don’t know why he is acting like that because we are both 23. At work we don’t talk too much, because we sit on the other side of the office, from each other. I feel like he views me as just a good friend because we have a lot in common. Like all he does is want to talk politics or reading with me but maybe I want more conversation and if he was interested, wouldn’t he have paid both times?

Reply August 9, 2014, 7:29 am

Terri

Sooo I like this guy and have done since the first time I saw him, he is not my normal type but I like that about him coz he doesn’t seem like a self involved pretty boy. First time we met he made a flirty comment about my bum, then I found out he had a girlfriend so backed off and didn’t pursue it but by this time we had spoken a couple of times on fb messenger, only general stuff. Forgot to mention he is a volunteer at my work and have seen him a few times since, we spoke 2-3 times a week but when we saw each other we had a smile but things felt quite awkward coz each time it was at work but I’d catch him looking at me or I’d look at him. Then he told me one night he had broken up with his girlfriend and I was up till gone 1 talking to him giving him advice but I kind of made out that he should stay single for a while and find himself again coz I do think that…the guy was with someone for 5 years that’s a long time! He needs a break! But I still can’t help but wonder if he likes me or just sees me as someone to talk to. We have spoke quite abit after his break up and have talked about going for a drink and him wishing he had cancelled work and gone out with me one night and he also has chosen to come into work on the days that I do since. It’s confusing I don’t want to get into anything with him for his own sake no matter how much I like him, I just want to no if anyone reckons in future when he’s ready I’d have a chance or if he just sees me as a mate.

Reply August 6, 2014, 6:57 am

jmc

You never know.. friendship can turn into a great romance. The best thing to do is tell him how you feel. If he feels the same, he will say so. If not, then you know.

Reply August 6, 2014, 6:56 pm

anon

so six weeks ago, i met this guy at my show rehearsal and i was kind of the new girl and whatever so he acts all flirty and takes candid photos of me and stuff and makes them his wallpaper and then he puts his number in my phone under “hottie??????” and says to text him so he has my number. so after a while, i text him and we legit text all day and all night and he’s SUPER flirty and stuff. always calling me beautiful and cute and stuff and i eventually develop some feelings for him. so on the fourth of july, probably about a week later, one of my friends who is REALLY good friends with him tells me she likes him and i panic. i just acted like i didnt get the text. so the same night, i text him and we ended up facetiming until 4 am and he just stared at me and i said “what” and he said “you’re just so damn beautiful” and i blushed etc.
so the next week, he reached for my hand one day and i take it and we like hold hands for about an hour and the entire time i have utter butterflies in my stomach. as the week goes on, he knows everything about me and i know everything about him. he starts to put his arm around me, gives me his jacket when i’m cold, and at one point had his hand on my thigh. my feelings for him grow stronger and stronger and we text 24/7 everyday.
so he starts asking me if i had my first kiss yet and i say no and he says “well thats only temporary…i hope”
and he keeps trying to kiss me but i always get scared and like go in for a cuddle.
so he keeps saying to me “i still haven’t kissed you” and explain how im scared etc. he says that its okay and he wants our first kiss to be perfect.
so after a show(which btw i got the lead haha) i was by myself getting frozen yogurt which is right next door to the theater, he texts me asking where i was and i tell him im getting fro-yo and then he rushes in through the door and gets fro-yo with me, and he hugs me from behind(which i absolutely loovvee). my mom is parked outside but can’t see in so i say i have to go and he says okay and then kisses me on the cheek and runs away saying “text me when you get home gorgeous!!”
so we text and he’s slightly embarrassed but then i tell him its cute and then we text all night blah blah blah.
so its the last show and the afterparty is at my house. so we’re all in the pool and his arm is around me and he’s playing around with me and the pool toys and whatever
and then we are all watching a movie and he has his arm around me and he ends up falling asleep. so he leaves and texts me all night etc. the next day, both of my parents are at work and i’m home alone with my best friend. he literally lives like 5 minutes away and so i invite him over. he rides his bike and comes in through the back blah blah blah. so we go to watch tv in the living room but the tv glitches or something and the remote doesnt work so we give up and go into my room and watch netflix on my bed. so we choose insidious 2 and he like spoons me.
so my best friend goes to the bathroom and he looks into my eyes and i decide not to chicken out and i kiss him. legit fireworks i tell you. but about 10 seconds into the kiss, that horrible insidious into music with the violins starts playing. and fyi: its super loud so we both jump and then i say “well that killed the moment huh”
and we laugh and then i go to check on my best friend and she’s literally sitting on the floor, on her phone and when i asked her why, she said he asked her to go to the bathroom so he could kiss me and i giggle with her about it for a minute or so and then we go back to my room. he starts calling me bae and my heart flutters. after he leaves, i text him asking
“what are we *his name*?”
and he says “idk. lets just see where this goes”

so we still text everyday and such but im so confuseddd
helpp meee

Reply August 3, 2014, 8:17 pm

Anne

Well, he seems to be chasing you. Which is not entitely a bad thing, but Ido think you should wtch out on your feelings, because you tried to deine the relationship and he didn’t, he even said ” we’ll see” which basically means it could go either way. So just watch out, because he might be the kind of guy that just wants the chase and tried to get you to gall in love with him in order to do things with you like getting in your pants, without having to commit. I don’t know the guy personally, but from the way you describe him,…. Well he could be innocent but all I’m saying is watch out, you never know.
Now, that being said, getting to your problem, well if he is just using you, then he would obviously be waiting to see if he can get what he wants without having to commit, then gain if he purely does like you and isn’t trying to use you then he just is waiting to see where this goes, its that simple, so I’d suggest to put a break on your feelings, meaning try to control them and go slower, because you don’t know where this might go, and its better to be safe than sorry :)

Reply August 4, 2014, 2:33 am

amber

Ok so I worked with this guy (I don’t work with now he quit so me and himtalk like we rflirt ing he said we should hang out so I gave him my phone number he said text him he don’t text me and he text me back with yo should I make a move does he like me ?

Reply July 19, 2014, 5:07 pm

Cynthia

I met a guy at the grocery store, he’s the manager of the meat department… Every time I would go in he would make small talk, the more I saw him and talked to him the more attracted I was. He analyzes everything. He barely looked me in the eyes while talking, kept looking me up and down inspecting everything. There was a picture was posted with his name. So, I looked him up on Facebook. Since he works at the store I get my groceries from I used a different picture.. Very immature, I know!! I think I was worried about how awkward things would be. I don’t know! Anyways he have me his number and we talked for the next day or two. I did end up telling him who I really was and yes he was a little weirded out that I lied I the beginning, but things seemed to be fine between us. He invited me to meet him up at the gym, he was very flirty, very touchy, in between sets he would come talk to me. I played it cool didn’t go running to him, but made sure he knew I was interested. At the end of our workout he sends me a text telling me he noticed I painted my toes.. and wanted to see them! As in, send a picture…lol I have nice feet and it wasn’t a big deal. I was getting a lot of playful teasing via text. Things were going well, We planned on getting together on the weekend. Randomly the next day I get a message. Saying kindly delete my number, he’s started talking to his ex, then changed the reason to he has enough friends. Fine, no big deal I deleted his number. I saw him at the store later that night avoided him. He came up put his hand on my back and said hey stranger. I saw him at the gym the very next day. I didn’t make eye contact, but from the corner of my eye I could see him trying to get my attention. I messaged him via Facebook and politely said. You asked me to delete your number, you wanted no contact… So don’t go out of your way to talk to me. I’m not playing games… Now he’s totally avoiding me, getting someone else to help me at the counter.
I am SO confused!!!! What is his deal and is there anyway to fix it??
Sorry it’s long and confusing but I tried to give as much information as possible

Reply April 4, 2014, 3:47 pm

Reggie

Hey chickens, NEED HELP!!

I’m 31 female, met a guy 22, we met up had sex.
He didn’t perform too well but he’s so cute and I do like him.
He said he was keen to meet up again.
Not once has he initiated a text I’ve done it all, however
He does reply to every text.
Have tried to make plans again but he’s got things on!
So my question is do I give up, push a little harder or is he
Intimidated cause of my age?
I have no idea where to go from here???

Reply November 22, 2013, 9:44 pm

Lila

Younger men… I hooked up with a guy two years younger than me, and 6 months later he proposed. We are engaged to be married on 2 February. Same thing happened with me, like he really liked me and then randomly started ignoring me and I freaked out, I talked to him and he said he thought I was into his friend cause we got on really well, and his friend kept hitting on me…

Reply November 28, 2013, 11:42 am

ayeesha

Hi everyone basically I started taking to this guy about two weeks ago, he’s a bartender and we have a few mutual friends and he also goes to my school, we flirt a lot and i’ve gone out to a couple of his events and everytime he would kiss my head before i left, we hooked up a couple of days ago and it was nice, no awkwardness whatsoever he even kissed me goodbye and i saw him the next day, we’ve been texting also, he always texts first so i felt that maybe i should too, so i’ve initiated it for the past few days but i don’t wanna seem clingy or needy or anything because i’ve been in situations where after we hook up, they always toss me aside and i’m scared it would happen again, how do i know he’s really into me and not just that he wants to get in my pants, thanks

Reply November 3, 2013, 3:11 pm

Kirsty

I’m very confused about a guy at work! I meet him though going to suppliers meetings he was invited to. Since over a week ago after we got friendly on email which turned to texting after I gave him my number. The chat is very flirty and quite rude but this is not what is bothering me. We would text/email all day and text in the evening over the last couple of days, now it’s weekend I’ve heard nothing from him and I didn’t want to appear desperate and needy so waited until Sunday morning to send him a cheeky text, that was 9 hours ago! Do I take it that he’s not interested??

I was trying to find out what he likes in a girl and I asked what attracts him – he said “Hey… It’s fun just gettin to know you at the mo and gettin a bit flirty and fruity aswell :) that’s what I like. I like to get to know someone first :) a strong personality, confidence and knowing what ya want is an attraction :) . That and a bit of a naughty side to” – do I take this as a positive? It’s difficult as it’s been a very short period of communication to know his true intentions and I don’t get the impression he is seeing anyone else, but I didn’t want to make it seem obvious and ask him outright!

Not sure what to do as I feel we click and have same humour etc, maybe expecting too much too soon??

Any advice would be great!

Reply October 27, 2013, 3:16 pm

jmc

If his texts are “rude” maybe it SHOULD bother you.?? You should really consider why is it that you are willing to accept that from any man. It sounds like his intentions are sexual.. not someone who is going to treat you right. I think he is feeling you out to see if you are going to be Ok with being “naughty.” If you take the bait and respond by flirting back and talking about being naughty, etc., then it’s set.. that’s all you’ll be in his mind. If you want more… if you want respect.. you have to demand it. Don’t respond if he is being rude or dirty with you… unless that’s all you want from him.
As for the texting, I recommend these articles
http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/guy-doesnt-text-back/
http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/guys-disappear-deal/#more-33730

Good luck.
J

Reply October 28, 2013, 3:36 pm

Kirsty

Thanks for you response, he did apologise to me saying his weekend had been marred by a family emergency. We hardly know each other so I do think I’m expecting too much too soon, but your right with the sexy flirty talk, it could be that I’m giving signals that that is all I want from him. So difficult over technology, I think getting face to face I can work out his true intentions if he makes excuses then it’s all he’s interested in too I guess!

Reply October 29, 2013, 11:21 am

Bubbles

I need help please? There’s this guy at my work I’m interested in, we say morning to each other every day I’m there, I have asked if he is single and he said unfortunately he is not, anyway I sent him a FB friend request and waited but nothing happened for a wk so I told him at work that I sent him a friend request, he said oh I don’t use FB much, I said I figured but thought I’d tell u anyway, he said thanks and he’ll check it out, anyway took him 2 days to accept, and so I have sent him some msg’s on there asking general info about him becoz I want to get to know him and be friends I also told him that but he never replies, after a few days I sent him my number saying if it makes him more comfortable texting then here’s my number, but still nothing, he is online quite abit and when I’m at work I catch him looking at me sometimes and smirking, he’s quite shy too and every time I do speak to him whether it’s just to say morning or something about work he goes very red in the face, yes I’m interested but I know he isn’t available and I don’t want to come between him and his GF but I still would like to get to know him and be friends, but how can I when he doesn’t reply? Should I just forget bout it and stop trying or what? It’s very confusing when he shows signs that he’s interested too but won’t talk! What are your suggestions?

Reply October 16, 2013, 8:58 pm

jmc

Honestly.. He is not interested. You should never chase a guy this way… If a guy wants to be friends on FB, he’ll find you. If he wants your number, he’ll ask for it. If he wants to talk to you, he will find a way! The more you put yourself out there, the more hurt you will be when he doesn’t respond the way you want him to. Forget about the “signs”.. If a guy is interested, you won’t have to question it.. you will KNOW. So YES, you should forget about him.
Hope that helps.
:)

Reply October 21, 2013, 9:20 am

Joseph

You are very wrong, I as a guy have been very interested in girls I have worked with and have never initiated conversations or even have asked for their number, when a guy is interested it won’t be as obvious as you claim. I have many reasons why I never made things obvious, it can be I believe the girl might have a boyfriend or that she might be too young or not mature to get involve with me. Reasons very, I am guilty of staring and trying to make eye contact with the female I am attracted to.

Reply July 25, 2014, 11:59 am

jmc

Joseph, you made my point. It sounds like you had reasons for not initiating things with those women… possibly unavailable, too young or immature. Despite your initial interest, you saw things about them that made you keep your distance. In that guy’s case, he has a girlfriend… sounds like he has a good reason to keep his distance from from her, because she is obviously interested in him. I was just trying to tell her that, though he might be curious about her (the staring and smirking), if he is not making any effort to get to know her, she should get the hint. In my experience, it is pretty obvious.

Reply August 6, 2014, 6:37 pm

CeeCee

I met this guy a week and a half ago. He started off like very into me and I slowly started to crush on him. We contacted each other but lately it’s been less and less and now not at all. He’s been online and hasn’t inbox me in days. I guess the question is “should I move on?” or “am I overacting?” I felt like we had a connection but was I wrong? Why start something that you can’t finish but I want to know from a guy’s perspective should I move on because I have definitely thought about just dropping it.

Reply August 1, 2013, 9:13 pm

Missing him

What does it mean when a man will not answer a lady’s request for sex but will answer her about everything else? (They are in a FWB relationship)

Reply July 1, 2013, 7:41 pm

Michelle

I have dated this younger guy for a year. He recently was in contact with an old girlfriend who said he was the father of her 3 year old and that she wanted to make a family with him. It’s a long complacated story. If this was his child he told her if she wanted a family that she would have to move here to St. Louis from DC. We were very much in love before this happend. If the child wsnt his, his life would go back to the way it was. Some things were said that he miss understood. He does not just want to pay child support and have nothing to do with the child, but he will not move back east to be with them.
So he was under a lot of stress with her and me and his wanting to do the right thing. So he told me that he did not love me as much as he did before. He was not going to be with either one of us. He has never had any friendships with any ex girlfriends in the past but wants to keep me as a friend. He cant say he doesnt love me at all. We still talk, text and will meet for drinks. If I kiss him he does kiss me back. But he says it doesnt change his mind. When I tell him I love him and wont give up on us getting back together he says I know….
This just doesnt feel like past relationships I have had. I always knew they were over for one reason or another. And even though we still have some sort of communication. I cant give up. Something inside me says don’t.

Reply April 14, 2013, 2:15 pm

Natasha

Hey,

So I met this guys at the end of April and we spent the whole weekend together and had a great time. Ever since, we talk every single day. There have probably been a total of like 10 days since that we have not talked to each other. However, he lives far away (about a 6 hour drive) and was only here that weekend we met for the weekend alone. Sometimes our conversations are pretty deep and sometimes they are just stupid drunk texts. It’s almost 8 months now that we just talk about stuff, though. Does he like me or am I just a friend at this point?

Reply November 12, 2012, 4:09 pm

Marie

Does he like me for me and what should I do? A little help please :)

I have been dating this guy for about a month a little more, things are going really well. He is really affectionate towards me and actually is interested in what I have to say and listens. He is my age, I have never date someone my own age because guys my age are so immature but I’ve found that so are guys that are older. I have gone out with him almost every weekend and have met all of his friends. He’s not from here originally, he has only been here 4 months. He has a lot of female friends and co workers which is fine but my problem is that one of these girls seems to like him. She always dances over to him and this last time we all hung out she danced with him right next to me and he put his arms around her for a couple seconds then stopped and came over to me. She had her back to me most of the night and made a jab at us when he asked someone to take a picture of us saying” it’s cute because you’re both wearing the same amount of makeup”. He is an anchor on the news so he has to wear some for tv but he hadn’t taken it off yet and you could hardly tell and I was barely wearing any makeup and I told her by laughing it off that I wasn’t. She left that night by saying “I’m going to leave you two alone” because he was dancing with me and had his arms around me and would smile and laugh with me a lot and he is always like that when we go out and are alone. He hugs me in front of people and kisses me and holds my hand and is very sweet.

Another dilemma is that there is this attractive woman he works with, and he tells me that would bang her a lot. She is older than him like late 30s early 40s. We’re both 24. He told me in the store yesterday that he walks by work after the gym to give people a show. The anchor that he thinks is a attractive ran outside he told me to tell him that her heart was beating fast bc apparently of what he was wearing. It’s things like this I don’t know how to react to or what to say. He cooks for me, he cuddles with me and really is a good fit for me other than these two things.

My life has been filled with tons of horrible role models and big mistakes on my part in relationships by have knee jerk reactions to things I should have reacted better to, and I want to do it differently and react how an adult should. He is about 5’5″ so he’s not tall, and I never date guys that are short bc typically they have a complex. I don’t know if he what he does is just insecurity but I just need help. Please and thank you

Reply September 19, 2012, 7:13 pm

Megan

So I’m completely confused, which is not common for me when it comes to guys. I met this guy at a party Sunday night over a long weekend. We really hit it off, he spent most of the night with me and we seemed to have a lot in common. He was very flirty and kept touching my arm, hugging me etc. At the end of the night, he asked for my number. Well after a few days he hadn’t texted/called so I decided to put myself out there a bit and messaged him on FB asking if we wanted to do something this weekend, which we had talked about Sunday. He kinda seemed really standoffish, and didn’t make any effort to make any plans with me and basically seemed to make up excuses. He did seem like a bit of a quieter guy, so maybe he just comes across wrong over messaging, but it really seems like he totally lost interest. Should I just completely let it be or try again? I’ve never been this thrown off by a guy’s behavior before!

Reply September 6, 2012, 1:11 am

Lizaloop

he is probably just nervous give him sometime and no doubt he will come around!!! hang in there!!!

Reply October 31, 2012, 5:50 pm

Amy

Hey so I’ve met this guy and kind of need an advice. I’ve heard it too many times: play hard to get, don’t be needy but still look interested – just like not too closed, or too open. Why does it have to be this complicated and what’s up with the middle? Anyway back to my point: I met this guy and went out to his place with some friends to party. We were dancing and end up kissing and talking, having fun etc. all night. We did not sleep together. Before I go on I have to tell you I am not looking for anything serious I just want somebody to have fun with. So we were talking about seeing each other later that day and before I went home I asked him if that’s still happening. He told me maybe and asked for my number. After that he texted me and we were talking about going out but he said he’s still pretty much hangover and we should met some other time. So we saw each other after few days and made out again and he asked me when am I free next week. Because I didn’t know that back then he said if I will go out with him when I’ll be off work next week so I texted him one day for a drink and he couldn’t go but he asked me out the very next day. We went out, had fun and he told me he would call me soon. Then he texted me twice, the second time he told me he would like to see me the next day but I left him with saying that I might have to be working so he told me to call him if I’ll have time. So I texted him the next evening but he replied that he was feeling sick and could not go out. I told him to feel better and that was it. So I am wondering does he likes me? Will he call me to reschedule or how can I do that without looking too needy if I am not already? I would like to have some fun with him nothing else but I still don’t want to look too easy, or not interested, so how do I do that? And yes I a mess when it comes to dating, flirting or whatever…Thanks

Reply September 2, 2012, 4:57 pm

Jinna

Amy,

Thank yo much for your great question, openness, and honesty. I admire you for seeking answers.

I’m most likely much older than most here- since my marriage of many, years just ended, and I have two grown, sons. One an Army paratrooper medic, one a civil paramedic near Houston. I’m a columnist, photo-journalist, and have a degree as a legal assistant. Being mom is my favorite…no my title as Memom to my four ear old granddaughter is!

Amy, with that all said, you know a bit about me, except that I’m straight forward. If you were together, sitting across te table having coffee, be assured I would not jue you. This creep…is not nearly good enough for you! He is using you to build up his own ego, fill in his spare time, and to feel good physically, even without sex.

He was too hung-over to keep a date? Makes out and then can’t make up – better excuses than he’s sick to keep a date? Not a Gila monster ate his leg? REALLY?? Forgive my bluntness and tough love. Honesty is more merciful than any bitter pain from the lack of it in the future!

Amy, my advice first? Love yourself enough to erase the drunk bum’s texts, all of yours too, and his number. Then, doll yourself up and feel feminine and pretty, grab a couple of girlfriends, head out for some group fun. Why do I know this? *snicker!* This awesome Memom is told she looks 35-40, and younger men hit on her. I deal with these guys …of all ages, younger mostly, and I know what happened with a younger, drinking guy See, they are having a good time,- drinking, laughing, in the presence or arms of a sweet and great girl! He is totally high. Then, It wears off. Sorry. The ruth hurts, but when the spell is broken, the magic is gone. It is NOT you Amy, please believe me. It truth of reality. They are oftentimes spellbound, and we expected it to last. It is in expecting we girls makes mistakes! NEVER DO IT!

As long as I’m sitting across the table…I’ll add, let the next guy know your worth…hands off! No kissy-handsy-huggy stuff…until he proves himself and earns the right. If he wants a date, fine. A real date! The old fashion term, “too easy, gives guys te idea sometimes they owe us no respect! Wrong! We’re to respect ourselves enough to have boundaries that when kept…scream, “I shall be respected!” However, it only works if we respect ourselves by our actions. I believe you do, or you wouldn’t care so much. I admire you for seeking answers and wanting to do the right thing.

One thing I have found to be true in life, darling, is that human behavior follow patterns. Change the way you view yourself and value yourself. Amy, perhaps, you may look toward more worthy men…unless of course, you enjoy a repeat performance of this”next” hungover bum who you will meet, and follow the same path. I know you don’t, so glam up , doll and have fun. Love yourself, respect yourself, but see yourself as THE AWARD WINNING PRIZE. Let a man earn you…you are worth it, darling. Look forward to talking with a good man who is worthy of you! Play hard to get, as we say, let him earn you…because you are mauvelous, dawlin!

Much warmth and love,
Jinna

Reply February 27, 2013, 4:14 am

Anne

Hello !!

Nearly 4 weeks ago I met this guy at a mutual friend’s birthday party. Me and him were talking and it got flirty. We all then headed to a club and we kissed and his sister and this girl were bothered because I was 17 then, now I turned 18 a few days ago. Anyway, he is 26 and his sis talked to him for 10 min and then he stayed on the other end of our group dancing…and so I went outside of the club and hung out with the bodyguard who is a close friend of mine , 4 hours later, when the club closed and he came outside his friend said bye to me, and i just waved at the guy from far in a way showing I don’t care, and he just stared at me and was surprised to see me, thinking I had left long ago, so we then hung out, talked , laughed, kissed and added me on facebook and talked to me and wanted to exchange numbers. I texted him my number and he asked when I would have time again. So we met up the next day and we walked a lot, and sat and just talked about everything. We texted for a week and then met up again ( because he has a job and works from early until late, so the weekend is mostly his free time) and again we had a great time. I asked him to try to see me during the week (it was either that or see me in 3 weeks, because I was going on holiday ) so he said he would try….we met up 3 days later and again had a great time. We were never bored and there was never a silence or awkward moment, . The next day we texted, friday not, saturday not, and sunday I felt as if he was in a bad mood and he didn’t answer my last text message, so I left him alone, mon, tues, wed passed, and thursday I texted him to go swim with me and friends on saturday and he said he already had plans, we texted a bit and then I asked him when he would have time again and he never answered.
A week has passed. It might seem like I’m obsessing, but we used to text daily/ every 2 days, fun, flirty, nice texts and he never ignored my texts….I took caution to not text too much or annoy him…
I am positive I didn’t do anything wrong in any times we went out. He invited me to dinner the first time we went out and told me he liked me, and didn’t seem like the guy that just wanted the satisfaction of getting me to like him. I also made it clear we weren’t going to sleep with eachother (because I am a virgin, and he knew I was waiting for the right guy and respected my choice and agreed with me) , so that also was NOT one of the reasons, besides he could easily sleep with other girls,….he doesn’t need me for that, just saying. My friends say that the age is probably the reason….and I think they are right, because during our second ”date”/ going out, he said at one moment that the age bothered him, but I made some very good points and got him a bit understanding/convinced and he eased up on it…and after this talk he met up with me again….so it’s really confusing….my friends said to just wait… I can’t say he wasn’t interested just because he wasn’t first to text.because he would text back in an enthusiastic and interested way, …I just really don’t know what to do…I KNOW this guy was/is interested, I could feel it…
Is it the age? If so, what should I do? I’m not sure that if I wait and see what happens that he will text ….What other reasons could there be for his sudden behavior and disinterest?

ps: Sorry for writing so much, pls help me….I wouldn’t be bothering and giving effort into this guy if I didn’t think he was worth it

Reply August 22, 2012, 10:31 pm

Meghan

I’m in University and I lived in a residence for 8 months. There I met this guy.. He lived a couple floors below me and we started off just as acquaintances (mutual friends introduced us). One night we had we went to a club and I was with him the whole night just dancing. After that we became closer. Friends of his starting asking me if I had a thing for him and what not.. But I always avoided there questions. On nights that we went out with friends, I always found myself back at his place by the end of the night and I would sleep over. Even though nothing ever happened, it still felt intimate. We would cuddle he would always run his fingers down my arms or back in a soothing way.

However, we were not dating or seeing each other. He had hooked up with other girls throughout the year and same goes for myself. Before we all moved out he spent the majority of his time with me and has even came up twice in the summer to visit myself and other friends. However, we are growing apart. We talk that often anymore and he is starting to get a lot more closer and friendlier with another friend of mine.I have no idea what I am doing anymore or if he is even interested in me.. or ever was. Please help.

Reply July 22, 2012, 11:02 pm

Anon

Okay, so i recently broke up with my boyfriend and have since been crushing on this guy that i met at a party. I’ve been really flirty with him , we’ve even kissed and had dry sex. he said he was making me wait for the real thing, i’ve since mailed him and he hasn’t replied. He hasn’t replied to my texts either. I’ve seen him in person since we got physically close and he has made flirty comments and suggestions but never any action. I’m not interested in a relationship, maybe just some casual fun. friends with benefits type thing. I don’t want to look like i’m bugging him , he knows i want him, i’ve made it clear. what do i do from here? How can i find out his true desires on me without making a fool of myself, i’ve invited him to my party but there’s going to be other girls and boys there. I don’t know how to get him to pay interest in me. I’m thinking it’d be best to become good friends before friends with benefits? but i’m unsure how and must work out before he is no longer available.

Reply July 15, 2012, 5:27 pm

Monica

I’ve been talking to this guy for four years but we never really dated, I got a girlfriend last November but they broke up February. We were still talking somewhat on and off during their relationship. I never had sex or did anything sexual with him. We came close. He hasn’t talked to me in almost 3 months. I tried talking to him but he ignored me. I texted him twice in 3 weeks and he didn’t respond. I had a friend ask him was he mad at me and he said no. He still hasn’t called or texted me and I don’t want to because I feel like I’m bugging him. What should I do? Does he dislike me?

Reply June 11, 2012, 4:39 pm

Tina

It is true. Just as woman are scared we are bugging the guy, guys get that feeling also.

Reply June 4, 2012, 2:30 pm

Nelle

Well.. I like this boy and we went to elementary school together and now we are in different teams in middle school so I don’t see him as much. We started texting about a month ago and it was him how always started the convo now it’s me. We he started the connvosations it felt like he liked me by the way he just wanted to talk about me not him but now feel like he doesn’t really care as much. I like him a lot and we are both pretty shy so I don’t know what to do! Should I confront him? Or just let him? All of my friends are saying that we should get together! We don’t see each other at all we just text so it’s kinda hard .

Reply May 17, 2012, 9:49 pm

ella

so, i feel so weird doing this because i’ve never really said how i feel in a paragraph but, this boy, lets call him ‘bug’ so, one day i was recording a video to post on youtube and i randomly said in the video ‘i don’t know this boy (bug) but hes spoke to me once just a general conversation, and i’d like to get to know him, but he would never look at me in that way’ i finished recording and went on my laptop for a little while, i logged onto facebook and someone had inboxed me, i looked at my inbox and there was a message from him, i was so confused because i didn’t know him, and hadn’t spoke to him for atleast 3 months. All he said was ‘hey :)’ i replied, and we had a normal conversation, hes in the year higher, he asked me if i liked anyone, i replied ‘i’ve just got over someone really, you?’ he said ‘yeah sort of, but she would never look at me in that way, i dont know her really’ i had NO IDEA this would be me, at all. So i give him some advice, and his friend then text’s me like ‘do you like ‘bug’?’ and im like woooaaahhh what the hell? i reply ‘no, i dont know him why?’ his friend tells me he always talks about me and that he likes me but would feel weird to say he did as he doesnt know me that well. Me and bug begin to text and i started to grow some feelings for him. We kept smiling at eachother in school and i was pretty happy. We both got invited to this house party, we went and was with eachother all night, he took such care of me and wouldn’t let anyone hurt me. He told me how much i meant to him, i felt so safe, we then got kicked out of the party and he walked me to the park and made sure i was getting home safe, it was like i was his main priority. We kissed that night, i new something was going to start, i just new it. We were still texting and it eventually got to the point where we was going out, now, this is where everything fucked up. We had so many arguments and never acted like we were going out, nothing went right and there was so many rumours. We went out for 2 months, we clearly loved eachother as we began to notice faults in the relationship within about a week. we battled through until a rumour which shocked me was that he had kissed and cuddled with one of my best friends, also that he had told her he wasn’t with me anymore and it was her he loved all along, and that he couldn’t wait to get rid of me. obviously, he denied this, and i didn’t think much of it as i always believed him over everyone else. we spoke after school once and i always remember his words ‘so, thats it then? is it over?’ and i didn’t know what to say. Later on in the day he broke up with me. i was pretty upset but it started to kick in later. a week after the relationship was over, i asked my best friend if it was true, that they kissed and cuddled together and said they liked eachother? she admitted it all to me, it was true. I had a massive argument with her. I also had an argument with him. After saying he didn’t love me anymore, he kept texting me saying he regretted breaking up with me and still loved me, and i text back, because i loved him. He then had sex with this girl i am now quite close with, i had an argument with her at the beginning. She really really loves him, and he doesn’t love her. They were fuck buddies or ‘friends with benefits’ but she fell for him. its now 02/02/2012 and i started speaking to him around this time LAST YEAR. the thing is, he STILL texts me saying he likes me and wants to get back with me. and i still do really love him, i cannot deny it, i know i’m only young and ‘i don’t know what love is’ but i do, maybe hes not the man of my dreams, but i understand how a person can hurt you so much and make you suffer but, i mean, if i didn’t love him, why would i keep texting him back when he texts me? why would i think about him every single day, why do i always bring him up in conversations? why do i want him to be happy, even if it means not being with me, why do i feel like i would die seeing him with another girl, WHY DO I LOVE HIM!?:'(

Reply February 2, 2012, 5:48 pm

i just dont know :(

ive known this lad since i was about 5 and we have always been really close friends and before now i have been in a relationship with him but it wasnt very long but these past couple of weeks he has started to talk to me alot more and then we were round a friends house christmas eve having abit of drink but not that much and then he walked me home and then gave me a hug which is normal then he asked me for a kiss but i thought a kiss on the cheak or something because it was christmas eve but he actually kissed me and then got off with me but i just went along with it but the next day he was saying like sorry for it and i was saying its as much my fault as it is yours because i let him so any way we carried on talking as normal then last night i had a new years eve party and he came and stayed over with a few of my other friends and all through the party he was fine with me being like normal messing around and stuff then when we were all going bed and i asked hime to turn the light out and he told me you turn it off and i will give you a kiss but i couldnt be bothered so he said okay and turned if off then when he came back he still kissed me and got off with me again anfd everyone was in the room but then today we were joking about the kissing and stuff and he said sorry and it wont happen again but i told a friend and she told me that he was staring at me all night :/ and i do like him alot i never really stop liking him but he is sending mixed signals and i really dont know what to do, my friends tell me to go for it but i dont want to ruin our friendship and how close we are but i really hope he kisses me again soo could you give me some advice please ??

Reply January 1, 2012, 7:22 pm

Fjolla

hey i met a guy in my school i talked to him 3-4 times and he said to my friend that he likes me than one day he said that he don’t want to talk with me anymore can someone help me please what to do to make him talk to me :(

Reply December 12, 2011, 8:19 am

Freya

I have liked this guy for about 6 years, and i really like him. He knows that i like him and everything. But however he is a bit shy. Recently we have been talking, and i seem to get the impression that he may like me. But he keeps hinting stuff like “sexual stuff”, and we met up and obviously “got with him” but…now he’s not really talking to me much and when he does suggest to meet up, i agree, then he change his mind every 5 mins. Is he messing me about? Should i tell him how i feel about him??? what should i do. I don’t know how to approach him etc.

Reply December 11, 2011, 10:38 am

Nomi

I met this great guy and we talked for ages, he kept saying compliments for ages. Then the next day, I added him on Facebook and we talked for hours on there as well and he asked for my number and we texted for a long time. We began to talk for ages every day and he asked me out and I said yes. Then we put ourselves as “in a relationship with ___” on Facebook and his friends all started teasing him and adding me and vice versa with my friends. Then we saw each other again face to face and the next day we barely spoke. Then he stopped putting x’s at the end of texts and we didn’t talk for ages. Then I send him a text and he said that he was in Norwich every weekend until new years so I said “Kay, I’ll see YO. In the Christmas holidays then” and he said “sure” and I said for him to have a good and he sent back “yeah, you too xx” so I thought he was back to normal and sent “speak soon xx” to which he replied “ok” and now we’re not talking again. This guy is great and I really like him and he, and his friends, have told me he likes me too but I’m not sure if he’s going off me or not. Help?! xx

Reply December 10, 2011, 6:23 am

Becky

i met this guy more than a month back. we hung out for 2 weekends and then i got busy with college so couldnt meet him but we texted a lot, he even hinted he wanted to marry me,he invited me over to his place but i couldt come coz i was busy, then we had a cold war. like we just kind of lost contact. after 5 days in which we hardly texted he put up on fb that he’s in a relation with another girl who was also his ex. its been 2 days now. i havent texted him and neither has he. the night before he put this up he tried talking to me, but the convo died out coz i was kind of mad that he hadnt talked for a while, which wasnt his fault entirely. he is mostly the one to initiate conversation. should I text or email him angry stuff? or just forget it and move on? or maybe just wish him congrats?

Reply November 20, 2011, 1:14 am

aziza

dont foreget about the problem but foreget him and just think of it as a learning expirence. I hope that you feel better soon.peace n’ love ;p

Reply November 20, 2011, 9:31 pm

Becky

Hey thanks so much Aziza!

I feel better already, should I delete him from my facebook too? Or will that make him feel like I still have feelings for him or all that crap?

Reply November 21, 2011, 9:13 pm

Out of Curiosity

delete him… I would say that means you moved on and don’t give 2 pieces about his status or whereabouts. If you keep it… to me it means your still holding on. You can still check up on him. I will agree Aziza cut him loose in every way. Move on and find a good man. They are out there.

Reply December 4, 2011, 9:45 pm

Out of Curiosity

aaaaaaauuummmm…. he hinted he wanted to marry you after 2 weekends of spending time together. I’m sorry but how on earth can you make such a claim. You don’t even know a person in that short of span of time to make such a claim. If a guy said that to me…I would be leery…very leery. Just my $0.02.

Reply December 4, 2011, 9:35 pm

Kitsune

I have read a few of your answers to these peoples questions, you give ok advice half the time but you come off sounding like a player giving advice. Speaking about texting questions why are you telling them to keep texting , how about these chics CALL the person and TALK to them, maybe go on a date experience life, if he’s not in to you you’ll know pretty quickly, I hate guys who rely on texting as the only means of communication, a quick phone call and a “hey wanna go out Saturday night?” is not difficult and if it is then you probably aren’t ready to be in any sort of relationship. Remember texting does not convey emotion and many misinterpreted texts lead to many of these stupid questions.

Reply November 16, 2011, 9:32 pm

gabriela

I NEED SOME HELP WITH THIS ONE. I RECONNECTED WITH AN OLD HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND OF MINE THROUGH FACEBOOK. WE STARTED TALKING HE WOULD TEXT ME DAY AND NIGHT FIND ME ON FACEBOOK AN IM ME. HE WAS REALLY TRYING BUT I WAS NOT INTERESTED IN HIM AT THE TIME. WELL AFTER A WHILE I WENT TO VISIT HIM THINGS GOT A LITTLE HEATED AND I STARTED TO LIKE HIM WE WERE SEEING EACH OTHER FOR A ABOUT 1 MONTH THEN OUT OF NO WHERE HE TOLD ME THAT HE COULDNT DEAL WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP. HE SAID WE WERE TO DIFFERENT HE WAS WAY TO LAID BACK AND I WASNT. WE DID NOT HAVE SEX. SO WE REMAINED FRIENDS BUT THEN HE WANTED TO BE FRIENDSS WITH BENEFITS I AGREED. I VISIT HIM ONCE EVERY WEEK OR TWO WEEKS.WE HAVE WENT OUT ONE TIME SINCE HE TREATS ME REALLY GOOD HE TELLS ME NICE THINGS HE HOLDS MY HAND AND TREATS ME LIKE HIS GIRLFRIEND. WE HAD DINNER, A MOVIE AND YES A ROOM, WE HAD ALOT OF FUN. WHEN I LOOK INTO HIS EYES I FEEL SOMETHING THERE. YET, HE DOESNT TEXT ME LIKE BEFORE, I TEXT HIM MOST OF THE TIME HE WILL ANSWER ME BUT VERY SHORT NOT LIKE BEFORE. IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE, IS THERE SOMETHING IM MISSING. DOES HE WANT ANYTHING OTHER THAN SEX WITH ME. PLEASE HELP ME. I DONT KNOW IF I SHOULD STICK AROUND OR KICK HIM TO THE CURB. WHEN I ASK HIM IF HE HAS FEELINGS FOR ME HE SAYS YES AS FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS BUT IT CAN LEAD TO SOMETHING MORE JUST GIVE US TIME. HELP……………………………..


Thank you,

Reply November 7, 2011, 3:45 pm

ciara

i like a guy and he said he likes me back but he just wants to be friends. he can never be straight forward to me but he tells my friend everything he never says to me and they wont tell me what they are talking about. i really like him and i dont want to be just friends so what should i do? should i just only treat him as a friend or try to get him to date me?

Reply November 7, 2011, 1:11 am

Becky

Since he already told you he likes you as a friend, I’d say hang out with him don’t get all weird around him, or at least try not to. But hang out if he tells you to, don’t be the one always calling him. Also try going out with other people. He might realise he likes you if he sees you with some other person. But don’t play the jealousy game..go out with someone only if you like the person enough, or you might end up hurting some other guy.

Reply November 21, 2011, 9:27 pm

Susan

What do you think?

Reply October 18, 2011, 7:53 pm

Susan

This guy and I have been texting for two weeks nonstop. We aren’t in a relationship but it seems like we were by the texts he would we send. He would always text me first and he would give me cute nicknames but now its been almost three months and if we text I’m the one who has to text first. He says he is busy and he doesn’t want to be in a relationship yet and it’ll be a long time before he will probably be in a relationship. He says that I shouldn’t wait for him and I should date other guys because it’ll be a long time. Now when I text him it takes him awhile to text me back. I told him that I heard this girl talking to her boyfriend, and I asked him how did we get to this point. He responded now what… What does he mean by all this and what do you think is going to happen between us?

Reply October 17, 2011, 5:30 pm

dice

Me and my 2 girl friends when out on a bar to have some fun. We ordered a 1 liter bottle of tequilla and since we couldnt drink it all, we ask the waiter we know to call 2 cute guy who was a band member, one was playing guitar while the other is a drummer. we started playing body shots at the bar then we transfered at my friends house cause the tequilla was still half full. when we went to my friends place, me and the guitarist made out then he started asking me to go upstair but i refused cause i know what will happen but i really like the guy. the other day i added the guy on facebook but he doesnt even pm me, so is there something or what.. im confused!

Reply October 12, 2011, 6:01 pm

nina

Does this guy really hate me well me and dis guy were talking about like a month or two. He was cool at first then he asked me to borrow some money then i did it was only like 30 dollars and then i tried to call him back to ask him for the money and know he hates me and i am really ashamed and i feel really stupid and domb does he really hate me or is he guilty for what he did i think he was just tring to use me and it really hurts

Reply October 12, 2011, 10:14 am

Gabi

I swear this is EXACTLY whats happening to me… like EXACTLY… unless this was my question i sent in but changed around.. OMG SO CRAZY.

But great advice.. when the guy I like goes on facebook i’m going to talk to him.. but most of the time hes gaming.. uhg.

Reply October 11, 2011, 9:33 pm

happy_Chrissy

I met a guy last year thru a social function where he wanted my number last year. Last year, he texted me to hang out since we all were going to be in the hamptons for the holiday. He brought his friends over to the house that my friends and I were staying out and he ha never hung out like this before. We had a great weekend. After the weekend finished, I had texted him that we should do this again and he replied absoultely. Well, I didn’t hear from him and this was last year. I just saw him again this August where he didn’t bring up why he did not call and of course, I didn’t either. However, he did not leave me alone at the function that we were at, he was by my side the whole time talking to me, wanting to know what was going on with me, and that he would not move back to Long island, unless he was getting engaged(where did that come from?? i have no clue.weird..) Anyways, till this day, he does not initiate text, he only responds back to me every time I text him and he texts me back all the time very quickly; within 2 minutes..I do not get him? Maybe he is shy, I do not know? Why bother texting me back if you are not interested and why not just ignore my text or just tell me he is not interested??? PLEASE HELP!

Reply October 5, 2011, 8:02 am

Haleigh

It was my first week back at school (now its my fourth) and I am like in love with this guy, but one of my ex-friends told him I liked him and he is completly ignoring me in the hall but im like his bff in math.He hates that I like him and I had to tell him a didnt like him so that he would stop asking if I still liked him.IM SO COMFUSED!!!! Now him and another girl might go out what should I do?????

Reply September 22, 2011, 2:39 pm

alice

so I met this guy in the summer on facebook. we had summer school together so i decided to message him. we really connected and have been messaging each other ever since august 5th. He’s really quiet but he losens up when we IM each other. He started putting smiley faces and laughing more. And i thought possibley he could maybe be interested. I make him smile and we have things in common. But on september 15 we IM each other and he called me a weirdo but in a playful way. so I asked him how was i a weirdo and he said because I talk to muchh but he laughed and put a face like this xD. idk if he was playing or not but i messaged him back and said that i wouldnt talk so much if he wasnt so quiet and messaging one or two word messages all the time. Then after i sent it i realized that i got a little to upset so i sent another message not to long after that one and add a ahaha. But he didnt message back so i decided not to talk to him for the next 3 days and i usually message him at 9 pm because thats when he’s always online but i didnt go online.. and today on september 16 he updated his facebook status and said “man i really f***** up bigtime -___- i need a restart button”. idk who he was talking about. was i over reacting? What does this mean? what should i do? I need someone’s opinion.. I NEED HELP PLEASEEEEEEE!

Reply September 17, 2011, 3:18 am

Karen

I have been out of the dating game for a long time. Since my divorce 6 years ago my son and I have been living in my childhood home. I recently friended a guy who I grew up with and is now in the same boat. Back living with his mom and going through a divorce. He now lives 3 houses away from me again after almost 40 years. We were childhood friends so my friending him was just meant to be a friendly gesture. He immediately instant chatted me and told me how beautiful I still and how happy he was I friended him. Well we have been texting sporatically for a month or so. He did ask me out about a month ago but never followed up. He has 4 kids and is still technically married. I wrote him off but I found some cute pictures of us as children so I figured I would try the friendship thing again and sent him a msg. Of course he wanted me to email them and since then things have heated up. I got into a car accident and he offered to massage my aching muscles. He invited me over and I went. We ended up in bed and it was amazing. He texted me the next day and said it was great. But now its been 2 days and we havent talked. Do I text him or wait it out. I know two days is not that long.

Reply September 12, 2011, 11:14 pm

noname

a guy friend i have for 2 years asks me constantly how i am, what i do and so forth. i tell him the short version and cant add much into it, becase i have the same routine day by day. but he keeps insisting that i should tlak to him more and i dont know whta he wants from me. i told him to ask me whta he wants buit he doesnt. he was the one getting in contact with me with messages, always inititating it, now i keep myself from much openess, baucause he clearly said a few times whta type of woman he wants, and i am not it. but he wantrs me to be close to him and i dont see why?
am i being played? doesnt he respect my feelings?

Reply September 9, 2011, 3:34 am

Eric Charles

What people say is their “type” and what people actually choose are two very different things.
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Don’t be put off by what guys say are their type. A lot of the times it’s BS that they tell themselves to feel better about themselves.
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Now, just because a guy shows interest and attention doesn’t always mean that he’s attracted to you. But it might.
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If you like the guy, you might as well spend some time with him. He’s already initiating contact and if he’s into you, then all you’ll have to do is show him some “green lights” to let him know you’re open to him pursuing you romantically.
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I’ll size up a situation, but none of us are mind readers. At the end of the day, you need to just take action on the opportunities that come your way. If they pan out, great. If they don’t, you really are no worse than when you started.
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Good luck.

Reply September 9, 2011, 1:02 pm

jade

I like my neighbour allways have he is a wee bit older but so have all my past bf been.. Anywasy we talk n we get along great but.. I really fancy him i dont wanna relationship just a bit of fun but i dont know if he seez me that way since he has know me since we wer babies and he knows my hole fam please help…. Thanlks

Reply September 7, 2011, 9:35 pm

Ana

hi i like this guy that i met at school an its almost a year that its been since i met him ,in the beginning we talked hungout went to the park and talked everyday but he had a girlfriend and then 4 months afterwards he told me they broke up because he found her cheating on him and i tryed to comfort him and be there but when he was with her he would tell me how he hated her and how he felt like he was just so attched to her though and i wouldnt say much i would just listen to him but now that hes single we hangout all the time and i have told him i liked him but he says he dosent want a relationship that he just wants to be friends but even though he tells me he likes me and misses me and i get so confused because i really like him and once when we were hanging out i told him that i couldnt go a day without talking to him that i missed him so much he responded with i dont want you to feel the way i felt ? and i got real confused i dont understand if he want anything with me or hes just waiting for the right time but even though he invites me over to his place and invites me to eat sometimes but lately when i call him he dosent pick up anymore like he use to that much and i asked him why he just told me because theres times that he feels down and sad and dosent want to answer anyone but i sometimes think he says that as an excuse but i dont know what to do i reallly really like him should i just keep staying friends with him or should i just try to meet other people because i want me and him to go further in a relationship and he just says that he dosent want a girlfriend well its also been like 6 months since him and his girlfriend arent togetherand i dont know whether i should just let time decide for us instead of me expressing to him how i feel

Reply August 23, 2011, 3:39 am

stephanie

so for the past couple days i have been talking to this boy, i am interested, we have had good coversations.. hes been asking me alot of questions via text about travelling and we have a lot in common. but the other night we had been texting all day sin 6 am to 11 pm and i just wanted to go to sleep so i told him to text me or something tomorrow he said ok sounds good and its now the next day and i have yet to hear from him should i text him or is he totally not interested, i hate playing these games. ( also he works for my dad and is my best friend from high school’s boyfriend best friend)

Reply August 19, 2011, 7:30 pm

alice

just cause he didnt text youu the next day doesnt mean he’s not interested. He might have been busy and didn’t have the time to text youu, but it sounds to me that he’s a least a little interested. I mean a guy wouldnt waste his time texting someone for that long if he didnt care for them or have some type of feelings. so I say text him!

Reply September 17, 2011, 3:06 am

noname

Fall for the brother of a guy you liked. It just happens, they happen to be bothers. Tell him you like him and hes like not interested in a relationship right now?? I wasn’t really looking for a relationship. Talked to him every night for like 4 months, told him everything and he listened and I felt like he actually cared, so decided to be the first to say something cus thought he wanted me to first. When he told me he kinda figured and I ask him why didn’t you stop it or say anything, he never answered. Im confused and never felt so hurt before. Now we don’t really talk and I don’t know if he feels the same way or not. We never talked really at school but every night over text for atleast a couple hours. He was like a best friend to me I guess, I miss him alot.
I want to move on but I just can’t stop thinking about it.

Reply July 27, 2011, 11:23 pm

destiny

ok there’s this guy I’ve known for 3 yrs and I really lyk him. he asked me out a while ago but like a month after that I was gettin mad cuz he was flirtin w/ another girl. so since I was mad ppl asked me “r u gonna break up w/ ____?” I said “no idk maybe” then sum jerk went off and told him that. then lyk 4 months l8r this girl I hate asks him out lyk not joking 6 tyms. he says no evry tym then the next day his friend asks her out 4 him. he doesn’t lyk her! he tlks 2 more in 1 day then he talks 2 her in their entire relashionship (wich is like 4 1/2 months) but he totally doesn’t lyk her! my bff says that he stares @ me alot & wen his gf says something mean about me he hangs his head low. his dad, brother, sisters and best friend pick on me about him n me. it’s almost lyk he has 2 date her. (there is more but I want answers fast!) plz plz plz send advice!

Reply July 20, 2011, 1:38 am

Caitlin

Okay. There’s this Boy……He always hugs me & he always smiles at me & he like always comes up to me when he ain’t talking to his friends or something and I will always like flirt with him and act like I’m gonna hit him & he acts like he’s scared & then it ends up in a hug. & When he talks to me he ALWAYS says my FULL name. He says it when We start talking & when we end the conversation but the thing is is that he’s really nice & he usually is nice to all girls So I ain’t sure if he just being nice or if he likes me. What do You think ?

Reply June 23, 2011, 1:52 pm

lizzie

by the way, now when we r talking and we get to talk about marrige he just ignores it and says that it’s not time for it!!

Reply June 17, 2011, 4:08 pm

lizzie

I’m feelling terrible, and maybe u guys can help me!!
I met this guy about 7 months ago and after 2 week he said that he love me but i told him that i need more time to get to know u!! he also talked about marrige to me and i said that i don`t know u good enough yet! after a while when even i loved him everything was going well and we used to meet everyday and he was always just trying to make me happy and i told him that i love him but after about a month or so thing just changed and now everything is just the opposite I am the one who tries to make him happy all the time and he is the one who just doesn’t see anything, we rarely even meet. sometimes even once in 2 weeks, and he doesnt put any time for me anymore!!! what i gotta do now! he doesnt even notice me! i want him to be just as he used to be!

Reply June 17, 2011, 4:06 pm

BP

Thanks! Haha…I always thought I would come across as being creepy/desperate/weird if I were to ever initiate the contact… Glad guys don’t normally see it that way.. :)

Reply May 30, 2011, 11:43 pm

Eric Charles

No, guys would love for you to approach. At worst it’s flattering and at best it’s a good connection that may not have happened if you didn’t make a move.
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I have never met a guy who wouldn’t want a girl to approach them. Just because you approach doesn’t mean you’re needy or desperate or anything. It just means you’re social, that’s all.

Reply May 31, 2011, 12:31 am

Lisa H.

Well in that case, Eric you are a stud :) Cheers

Reply October 18, 2011, 12:34 pm

Eric Charles

LOL… I am a sucker for flattery, it’s true.

Reply October 18, 2011, 1:48 pm

olga.v

have to agree with lisa there

Reply November 13, 2011, 9:18 am

mixedrace

Hi,
Thank you for taking the time out to read my dillemma. As i have met this man few weeks ago.We met on line then we kept calling and texting for a while then we met up. We both felt this strong chemistry between us.And then after that time we still kept in contact about a week later we were to meet up then he cancelled on me on the last minute. I was a bit annoyed.Then we texted and called each other and i thought it was cute that we both are that attracted to each other .So i called him few times and texted him but no reply and then he said oh u called me few time.But sure i told him that i liked hearing ur sexy voice.I did invite him for my birthday party and everything and txt him after that but nothin.So do you think that hell txt me or call me back any time soon?I have stopped calling him and texting him the ever since.Can you please help me with this pathetic situation plz?

Reply May 30, 2011, 10:35 pm

lavish

Me and my childs father been together 3 yrs on and off and he has been having a 3sum wit me and his ex the whole 3 yrs. When he is with me he creeps around with her and when he is with her he trys to creep around with me so came dec. 2010 i finally said im done with the 3sum and im trying to move forward….but he went back to his ex. (not suprzing) since the break up, he calls all times of da night. Sometimes asking what our child is doing at 1 in the morning..lol ya right. He txts evry other day if not evryday wanting to come over, trying to have sex stuff like that. He also knows that im seeing sumone else and its clear he dosnt care. Even bfor i got with someone else he was doin this. But my question is to you, y is he doin this? We both made it clear to eachother that it was time to move forward and jus acceptd that we have a child together and thats it but at the same time i feel that he wants to have his gf and have his way with me 2. Could i b right?

Reply May 25, 2011, 2:53 am

Angela

There’s this boy in my school that is a grade older than me. I have a secret crush on him. I’ve texted him only a couple times. We don’t really know each other. I’m scared to talk to him. I think he will think I’m creepy. He just broke up with his girl friend. When I walk in the hallways we both look at each other and smile. At our last dance we didn’t just have one of those glances. We had a oddly long stare at each other, smiling. I don’t know what this means! I’m scared to tell him I like him. What should I do? -Angela

Reply May 15, 2011, 11:23 pm

katie

me and my bf never see each other just because he got picked 4 this football team where u go round england in, (his life is oreddy planed 4 him) me and him r only sch teans im miss him so much and friends cant even help he 9 boys love me but i only love him i need help from a GROWNUP pls help i dont want 2 talk 2 my mum bout it ;(

Reply May 15, 2011, 12:10 pm

Sam

I like this guy in my high-school; we used to be semi close then ended up losing touch for about two years. This year we have gotten back in touch and are talking again because we have two classes together. Recently in our gym class we have been playing tennis; for the first time a few days ago while we were walking up to the courts and while jogging around them, he talked to me and only me, we left our friends a bit of a ways behind. Usually we walk with our friends and he just jokes aound and is his goofy self, but this time we actually talked, instead of just joking around, and this time there were no awkward pauses. He even played on my team; usually its me and my friend against just him or him and another friend. And he always asks me which activity I’m planning on playing when we switch, therefore were always in the same group. Before this day I told some of my friends I liked him and my best friend facebooked him and asked “Hey, do you like Sam? I always see you walking in the halls with her from class.” But he said no. Then a few days later my other friend asked if he liked me and he said no again but got all defensive in the way he said it. Does this mean he likes me and just doesn’t want other people knowing yet, or that they annoyed him? Them last night he prank called me; it was the first time he has ever called me. Does this mean he likes me or thinks of me as a good friend?

Reply May 15, 2011, 10:19 am

brittany winchcombe

i am like totally falling for this guy in my class and me hang out all the time and he always wants to be with me and he carry’s my books to class even if he’s not in it :) every body tells me that he likes me but im not sure ?? i really like him .. he ask’s me how my day was and it actually seems like he cares :) it already seems like were going out .. but we arent officially :P how do i tell if he likes me or not ??

Reply May 13, 2011, 10:08 pm

vanessa

Well i’ve been talking to guy for 2 years but while we were talking he had a girlfriend and i had a boyfriend but we been liking each other ever since. When we see each other we have this special connection i don’t know its hard to explain but we get so happy when we see each otrher and we hug each other so tight! We both are now single and we are talking and told each other what we feel but we text each other whenever he has time and we talked on the phone twice. And i asked him if he was just leading me on and his response was “then i guess you must have not gotten the point?” What does he mean? Do you think we’re ever going to be a couple and start dating? Do you think he really likes me? Please help!!!!!!

Reply May 11, 2011, 9:45 pm

nichelle

I have a friend and lately we both have been flirting. Or at least I think he is flirting with me, I have liked him for a long time and he recently kissed me on prom night (sparks flew instantly) but he also kissed another girl. I tried to make him jealous today and also point out that I knew he had kissed the other girl, but he just got mad. Do you think that he is just keeping me there for rebounds or when ever he gets bored. If so how should I handle this situation..? Ahh.

Reply May 3, 2011, 10:32 pm

Tasha

So I met this guy about two weeks ago. He works a lot in the hospital. He called me as soon as he got my number and then there was a few days we did not talk. I texted him after two days because I was interested in him. We talked for hours, However he says that he likes me alot and that hes glad that we met. But several days have gone by ( three) and I have sent him texts but he has not responded. Im confused because we have talked a total of six days in the two week span and each conversation is at least two hours long. Should I give up and move on or should I try to call him. ( honestly I’m afraid to call but I don’t mind texting I suppose i dont want to be rejected). Any advice. We met on line a paid sight and after we met he took himself off the sight ( he really did I checked, lol) and he said because he was happy with me. I feel the chemistry but man am I soo confused.

Reply April 28, 2011, 12:30 pm

Not Saying

Hey i met this guy about 5 years ago and we became really really good friends, i saw him all the time on the weekends and fridays, i noticed he had a crush on me and i like him back, but suddenly like a month later he stopped looking at me and when i go to talk to him he wont look at me or even respond. is this because hes mad at me or is it because he likes me??? if hes mad how do i apologize and save our friendship?

Reply April 24, 2011, 9:00 am

arun kumar

plz c0ntact me 0n face b00k

Reply April 11, 2011, 8:24 am

arun kumar

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Reply April 11, 2011, 8:22 am

Ren

So i started talking to this guy again after we stopped talking for a bout 3 months? Then we would text each other, tells me im beautiful and i love you. (I know he actually doesnt mean that) but anyways i come to have feelings for him. The only problem is that we are so closeeee when we’re texting, buh in person its totally the opposite! When he walked me to one of my class it was soo awkward, buh when we text we would say ‘iloveyou’ and stuff, and now he stopped texting me. Im confuse :((

Reply April 9, 2011, 12:48 am

Ren

So i started talking to this guy again after we stopped talking for a bout 3 months? Then we would text each other, tells me im beautiful and i love you. (I know he actually doesnt mean that) but anyways i come to have feelings for him. The only problem is that we are so closeeee when we’re texting, buh in person its totally the opposite! When he walked me to one of my class it was soo awkward, buh when we text we would say ‘iloveyou’ and stuff, and now he stopped texting me. Im confuse :(

Reply April 9, 2011, 12:47 am

confused

Okay. So i was with this guy for a lil over 3 months and we never had a fight but we hardly saw each other cuz of his work, and one day we had a random fight and it was over something really stupid so i told him we should break up. Well a month later we started talking again and it was going really well, but he was also talking to this other girl, who happend to have been really crazy and tried hurting him so he broke up with her. well a month after they broke up he calls me though not hearing from him for about 4 1/2 months he tells me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and that hes sorry for ever hurting me. and that he will do anything to make me happy and that he wants me to move in… Should i believe him or should i just move on?

Reply April 6, 2011, 1:53 am

maya

I liked this guy and he sorta kinda asked me out. bit idk if he was playing because i said no and he said “why would i want to go out with a loser like you ?” But then he started talking with me and asking me what i rate him at. then all of a sudden he poked me on facebook and idk why? he has a girlfriend but i dont know what to doo. ANY IDEAS? PLEASE HELP!

Reply April 3, 2011, 7:55 am

nichelle

Make him want you. If you like him why shouldn’t he like you. You obviously have some connection if you like him. And him sayin “why would he go out with a looser like you ” that’s just his way of trying to regain his confidence after you shot him down. Go have fun talk to a bunch of guys and forget this kid for a week or two. He might just have a girlfriend to try to make you jealous. If you ingorge him and only talk to him when he talks to you first he will want you and you will get him (:

Reply May 3, 2011, 10:39 pm

Kendyl

I really reall ylike this boy and I think that he likes me to. But the problem is he is popular and I’m not. I heard his friends talking and it could have been about me, and how he might like me. I can’t be sure though, science he is popular. I always tell myself that he definitely does not likee, but then I will hear something to tell me other wise, I don’t want to seem stupid in thinking that he likes me. Then again I really want him to like me. I just wish I knew if he liked me or not.

Reply April 2, 2011, 10:28 pm

linda

hiiii i really need a advice from u :(” WHAT SHOULD I DO TO MAKE HIM FALL FOR ME” i will tell u my storyy…i meet a guy he leaves another place far away 2 hourse we talked on msn about 6 months he always sayed that he wanna see me wanna meet me and he likes me and feel smth for me etc etc we ttext all the time…i told him that i want with him 2 but even if we r gonna get out and have sex or smth i dont want a reation ship i will get out with ujust like that..and that was our deal wee get out twice we had sex and he didnt stop telling me that im pertfect that he likes me im special bla blaa butt wee know the deal still..and now i think i fall with him and i wannt to be more than just a friends or our deal ….before one week we talkt on msn 5 hourse and it was everythingg good day afer i text him he didnt text me back next day i text him again he didnt text me back again :S and from than i didnt text himm neather hee theres a 10 days we didnt text :S what should i do should i text him and what?and to make him fall for me 2 cuz creeeeeeeeeep im in lovee plzz help…and sorry if i did a mistakes on writenig and spellng cuz im from macedonia i dont know very much english ,,,bb hope to raplay and help me mwahhh

Reply March 6, 2011, 9:41 pm

Liyana

Same situation but the problem is when he stop texting me, i’ll text him back to show my respond towards him. But since that i’ll be the one who text him first.. but he never fail to reply my text and we will have sweet conversation hours long.. i mean he sound so caring, he ask lots about me.. it makes me curious his actual feeling towards me. so i ask him because i thought it seem so obvious but he told me that his feeling towards me just as a friend. is he really into me or not?? coz right now i’m so confuse.. what should i do??

Reply January 30, 2011, 2:00 am

Rachel

i met this guy over summer and we had a thing , it was like if we were datin but we really werent . he really seemed interested all summer and i really thought this was goin to get somewhere , then school started and the before he said he was still goin to talk to me , but then the first day of school he got suspended and he never came back to school . we didnt talk for like a month or so , wen he finally texted me everything seemed just like it used to be , but one day i decided that i was just waistin my time , so i didnt talk to him anymore (he expected me to always start talkin or txtn) , then i met another guy and somehow he found out , and when i broke up wit this guy i txtd tho other guy and he lead me to think he was jealous , and at the end he told me he liked another girl , but he still would get jeoulus of things i would do , and i havent talked to him since , but now he sends me random fwds and thats wat he used to do wen he wanted to txt , does that mean he wants me to text him ?

Reply January 23, 2011, 2:46 pm

ashley

so me and this guy always text.. and it always takes him a hour to forty fives minutes to reply which makes me wonder why.. but everytime we plan to hang out and that day comes he says are we gonna hang out today and i say sure what time do you wanna meet up then he replys four hours later like around 8 saying sorry my phone battery died or some sorda excuse.. does it mean he doesnt want to see me? but if so.. why would he text me first saying are we gonna hang out today.. he always does this its not a 1 time thing.. its an always time thing..

Reply January 8, 2011, 8:01 pm

Ashley

so this guy that ive liked for a while..i think he just started liking me..he texted me sunday and we talked till 1 am! and then hes been texting me everyday since..and he says really sweet things llike he likes me and at school he was acting like he was my boyfriend or something! he told me that i was really pretty, adorable, funny, and he even told me he wanted to make out with me??! it was crazy..but now today hes being all weird like he doesnt like me or something..i dont know..im so confused

Reply December 15, 2010, 3:29 pm

Emma

I went out with this guy then i broke up with him cause of problems at school and i was scared cause he was older than me cause he was in 8th grade and i was in 6th but now hes in high school and im in 7th well we went out again like 3monthes ago and He boke up with me this time he said he was scared i broke up with him but i wasent gonna then a month after that he texted me and we were talking and he asked me if i was gonna break up with him and i said no then he said he was sorry and told me he never stoped liking me and asked me out i was still kinda mad at him because of that cause i REALLY liked him and i liked another guy so i told him i had a boyfriend wene i didnt then he said he hopes that he treats me well and that was the end of the convo so last month my sister and i pranked called him and he reconized my sisters voice so they started talking and she told him that she thinks me and him should be friends first and she asked if he had a girlfriend and he said no well after they talked i txted him and we were having a normal convosation and then my sister took the phone and said this “I bet alot of girls txt and call u” And This Is What He Said “Not really only one that matters (its you)” then i took my phone back and wrote why me?? cause i know he has alot of girls to choose from at high school the he wrote somthing sweet it said “idk i just really like u alot of girls like me but i choose u” I told him that was really sweet Then we just talked normal after that then the next day i texted him and he didnt text back a whole week after he still didnt txt back even wene i txted him a few times in the week cause i didnt want to sound desprete he did txt me on a wendsday but wene i texted him back he didnt text back so that saterday he called me he told me his phone was turned of in his foot ball bag the whole week so we talked a little and he said he had to ask me somthing but he said he’ll ask me another day i said ok after that we let each other go and he said we’ll talk tomorow that didnt happen i txted him the next day he didnt text back then durring the week i txted him again and he txted back and we talked well that was the only day we talked he lives down my road so wene we would go out we would go walk wene i texted him that day he asked were i was but i wasent at my house wene i got to my house i texted him he never texted back and to this day he still dosent text back i havent texted him at all in like 2 weeks i want to but i just dont want him to not text back plus i think he likes me but at the same time i think he dosent because he never texts me back im so confused i need help on what this means…

Reply November 7, 2010, 3:34 pm

Jane

The FedEx guy that make deliveries to my office and I have been having one minute conversations for over a year now nearly every day. He has mentioned to me a few times how he is lonely and he texts his friends during the day while making deliveries. I finally gave him my cell # and he seemed excited by that. He texted me within 5 minutes. We have texted back and forth but it is mostly one sided (me asking all the questions and initiating more conversation). For the past week I have been the one that has initiated all the texting (not every day). When I do text him, he always responds and seems to enjoy what we are “talking” about. I have made a promise to myself that I will wait the 3 days and see if he will text me. If he doesn’t does that mean he is not into me the way I am into him? Help!

Reply October 27, 2010, 4:14 pm

Sally

I have a problem. Here, I know a guy. And I know he likes me. But he didn’t know that I have the same feelings to him. We already have a great time together. We text each other EVERYDAY for months. Sometimes he started to text me first but sometimes I do. That time, I really feel like he is always there for me. Until one day he just text me and ask me not to text him for the next day. He said he has a work to make it done about 2 or 3 days. Now, I really feel like he is avoiding me. I became very confused.. He really likes me or he doesn’t? Now I really don’t know the answer and what I suppose to do. Please help me…

Reply October 2, 2010, 10:48 am

Andrea

I met a guy at work a year ago. Within a month he was asking me to break with him every day. He gave me his phone number. We started hanging out and got close. He shared things with me, saying “you get half of everything I have”.

He was fresh out of a 5-year relationship and crowed about not wanting commitment. I have never expressed feelings or asked him for any such thing. He talks about a “dream girl”, says he will “just know”, and has babbled about girls liking him and accusing him of leading them on. If he acted the way he does with me with these girls – myself and multiple witnesses agree – HE LED THEM ON.

But.. he has lain in my lap and asked if I have a crush on him. He jokes that I do, but why would I admit it? Why would he ask? He promised that if he gets a girlfriend he will not let it ruin our friendship – “unless YOU are my girlfriend”. What???

A few months in he started trying to turn our relationship sexual. I set a slow pace and slept with him only once. He tried to go again but he asked at work and joked about it being bad so I peered at him over my glasses and said “no, thank you”. He has asked me to be forthcoming about what I want but it is very hard for me to be vulnerable under the circumstances.

He quit “our” job and I started fielding “he’s your boyfriend, yes?” statements. I told one girl that I didn’t know how he felt. She said: “It’s obvious”. Not really! I feel like a faux girlfriend, getting close to a guy who will eventually meet his “dream girl” and leave me high and dry. I try not to get close but he is so.. present. He asks about my day, calls to see how I am, and initiates plans with me at least once a week. He even declared that he befriended a co-worker I enjoyed “for you” – which when I think about it is true. Eep.

Worse, he has decided to apply to grad school in MY obscure hometown. Neither of us plan to stay in our current city and I often think of going home, but this is bizarre. A friend of mine said this: “I’ll put it this way: It’s not a coincidence”. I agree. What is he doing???

I want this settled. SOON. But.. I’m scared to death.

Am I being screwed with?

Reply August 28, 2010, 10:31 am

Kelly

So i’m kinda talking to this guys and we’ve been talking for a couple of weeks. I went out to the movies with him and during the movie he put his arm around me and then gave me a kiss before i left. I really like him and he’s told me that he likes me too and we use to text a lot up until i dropped my phone in the pool! So now the only way i can contact him is by facebook but he’s not always on so it’s frustrating. School starts in a few days and i can’t wait to see him but i’m afraid that he might have lost interest due to the lack of contact but i don’t know. I don’t wanna seem too clingy or bug him by always messaging him when he gets on facebook but that’s the only way i can talk to him and when i do message him, he replies and we talk for a while but i’m just afraid i’m gonna lose him cuz we can’t always talk like we use to since i don’t have a phone at the moment. What should i do??

Reply August 13, 2010, 9:13 pm

Ally

So I really like this one guy. He went to school with him in 7th grade and then I transferred schools and we haven’t talked in about 4 years. I recently got in contact with him through facebook and I really like him. We’re both going to 11th grade now. But I’m not sure if he likes me. He commented on two of my pictures (he doesn’t comment on people’s pictures much, so I was kind of shocked he commented on mine) and said I was really cute and looked different now. We’ve been on cam together a lot. Like on ooVoo and stuff. He asked me if I was single and he always talks to me on facebook if I’m on. But I don’t really like calling him first or IMing him first because I don’t want to seem clingy or anything. He also wanted to go to the movies with me. I recently saw inception and he was like “aw I wanted to see that… but I had nobody to go with” So i kind of took this as a hint that he wanted to go with me. So I said you should have went with me! So he said okay lets go together next weekend. But I don’t know if it’s one of those ‘lets go out together’ but he’s just saying it but not really meaning it. And I don’t know if he likes me or not! I like him a lot but I’m so shy and self conscious! I try and wait for him to contact me first, but he’s contacting me less and less everyday. So what should I do? How should I talk to him? Does he like me? Any tips?

Reply August 1, 2010, 6:46 pm

jen

i been with my boyfriend for six months already we live like 20 min away from each other we use to see each other every other day and now we dont see each other at all we dont talk on the phone that much if i dont txt him he wont txt me i love him but he rather be with his friends than me idk wat to do do he still want to be with me or wat he says he loves me but idk apls help ……….

Reply July 27, 2010, 3:31 am

Jane

I met this guy about 2 weeks ago. We met up for dinner and talked-enjoyed each others company and both seem to be looking for the same thing in a relationship. He recently took a job in another state, so he was busy with the packing, moving, and storing before he started his job. He seemed to be into me, but then again he seems distant. He doesn’t call me or email me or text me like the first few days we met. I really do like him, but I don’t want to waste my time either. What should I do?

Reply July 20, 2010, 3:53 pm

Marie

I’ve been talking to this guy for a few months now, all I wanted from it to start with was friendship and cause we’re both really shy we only talked on msn but after a while he asked for my number so of cource I gave it him. We texted all day for days and were really good friends but as we went to the same school people started picking up on our friendship. It annoyed me but it was only the odd comment so we ignored it, never even talked to each other about it. I’d started liking him a few weeks before this. It struck me as odd cause all I wanted was friendship but now he’s always on my mind, constantly.
People started saying more crap. It’s always ‘____ likes you!’ in every lesson, down the corriddors, in the playground and I dont know what to think any more. I got my friend to ask him if the ‘rumors’ were true and he said they weren’t, after he’s friend asked if I liked him and I said no cause I’m a shy Idiot. We don’t text nearly as much ny more and it’s like I’m invisable at school, I don’t even get a smile off him any more. He still texts every so often but not as much as before.
I dont know what to do. I’ve never liked someone as much as this before but we’re both so shy. If anyone can give me any advise at all I would be seriously grateful. Should I forget him? Even if this fails I still want to be friends, thats the most important thing.

Reply June 30, 2010, 1:54 pm

Gill

Hey! I’m a young man/ A GOD fearing young man..

From my own dating past, I’ve seen two types of people.
1. ppl who care too much
– 2 ppl that care arethe best couple.
2. ppl who don’t care at all
– 2ppl that don’t care attract each other. (try this)
But by any means necessary dint ever care for a guy who can’t at least smile back, text and say how’s your week, or be a gentlemen.

So try not responding to his calls/ texts & hang out with other ppl who intrest you & show some intreset back/ & if he’s a guy & not an alien hell wanna know why the heck is my doormat leaving from under my feet. Overall, dating experiences are supposed to be happy & 2 sided. there are 6 billion ppl on the planet, try with the other 5,999,999,999 ppl on the earth. It only takes one Guy not the it guy… If that makes any sense. Lol
Preety much, just move on, & he’ll come back to figure out why you moved on.
God Bless
-Gill

Reply November 9, 2011, 3:16 am

Jenny

I met this guy a few weeks ago. We had a great first date and laughed a lot. He was really cool and seemed like a great guy. The problem is that I bugged him vis text/phone calls because I was afraid he would loose interest. Turns out that was far from the truth-this guy really liked me. However, because of my constant need for communication, he said he wasn’t interested anymore.

Is there a turning back point for guys? Do they ever change their minds in a situation like this one?

Reply May 4, 2010, 3:11 pm

lili

to milly, honestly i think he likes talking to you but just because he says that doesnt mean he likes you the way you think he does, girls seem to interpret many things the way they really aren’t trust me ive been in that situation just get to know him better open up to him be yourself dont be afraid to ask him its better to get response even if its a bad one then to be confused and staying that way never knowing what is really going on in his mind(: i say you should tell him and see how he responds if its a good response trying hanging out with him and see how that goes! good luck

Reply February 26, 2010, 11:08 am

silly

i like this guy but i am to scared to tell him. he is so hot and my friends all like him i told my friends and they start going up to him and asking stuff and if he likes me or not what do i do?

Reply February 20, 2010, 7:39 pm

silly

there is a guy who is always mean to me and it just annoys me and he is nice to all my friends but me i just don`t understand. So i started being mean to him back and we were going back and forth. Does he like me?

Reply February 20, 2010, 7:34 pm

Milly.

I like this guy a lot but I’ve never told him that. He says he loves to text me but I don’t know if he is telling me that to make me happy or not. I text him and he texts back but our conversations ain’t very long and I wish they were. I want to tell him that I like him but I’m afraid of what he will say.. What do I do?

Reply December 30, 2009, 9:12 pm

Milly.

I like this guy a lot but I’ve never told him that. He says he loves to text me but I don’t know if he is telling me that to make me happy or not. I text him and he texts back but our conversations ain’t very long and I wish they were. I want to tell him that I like him but I’m afraid of what he will say.. What do I do?

Reply December 30, 2009, 9:10 pm

Laurie

So i met this kid that i went to highschool with randomly at a bar one night. We hit it off and we winded up exchanging numbers. We hung out a couple times and it seemed like he really liked me. He said he wanted to do all these different activites with me but all of a sudden he stopped texting me.. I dont get it.. please help!

Reply December 7, 2009, 5:09 pm

Chris

Why does everyone get hung up on texting? For many people, texting isn’t a natural way to converse, even if they do it a lot. A text might not be seen right away. The person’s phone could be off or they are somewhere where they can’t check. Then, the sender interprets the person as slow to respond and reads a lot into it. I say grab the bull by the horns and meet him face to face somewhere. If you are nervous, you don’t have to invite him on a date, but something that might lead to him asking you on a date, like going for coffee, or being invited to a group activity and ask if he wanted to go. Those two things could be construed as interest but it won’t be so bold on your part if you are worried about it and gives him the chance to make a bolder move.

So in summary, drop the texting and get real :)

Reply November 20, 2009, 12:38 pm

Sarah

AGREED

Reply September 8, 2011, 10:20 pm

discussion forums

good posting…. thanks

Reply November 18, 2009, 1:30 am

The Fashionable Housewife

Good advice! ;-)

Reply November 17, 2009, 10:54 am

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