So I know this guy in a band and we hit it off really well. I’ve only seen him twice and that was when he was on tour twice but we ended up talking forever. He’ remembered me both times and if you know guys in bands, you know they see so many chicks from touring all over America so its kind of hard to remember faces.
I just saw him three days ago and he was being pretty flirty and saying things like “what’s the oldest you have ever dated?” and “you have such a beautiful complexion.” (Btw, we’re only 5 years apart.) I wanted to text him in a couple months when he’s back home and off tour and ask him how he’s been and how the band is.
But there’s a twist- he never gave me his number. I got it from my brother because they’ve talked before. Do you think it would be weird or bad if I texted him? And do you think he’d be mad or happy to hear from me? I really need a guys opinion and point of view on this.
See our guy’s response after the jump!
I can tell that he was flirty with you, but I can’t tell if he likes you or not based on what you’re describing. Being flirty might just be his way of being social or he might be into you.
He might have been interested though and if you’re into him, no reason not to give him a shot.
Now you say that he never gave you his number. Again, I don’t know enough about the setup of your conversation, so I can’t comment on whether this was because he didn’t want things to go anywhere with you or if it just didn’t happen organically.
Cases where a guy wouldn’t exchange numbers with you/get your number:
- He’s not attracted to you enough to see you as an option.
- He has a girlfriend.
- He’s a diva and expects you to throw your number at him.
- He believes you’d be more trouble than you’re worth (high maintenance, clingy, crazy, etc.)
- He doesn’t see you as a “challenge”.
Still, at this point you really don’t know whether or not he likes you. You like him, so you might as well assume that he does too – if you can maintain the assumption that he’s into you, you’ll come across as confident and confidence can make all the difference in many cases.
You said that you could get his number from your brother, but you were worried that texting him would creep him out. Generally speaking, getting “creeped out” is a girl-emotion. If he really wasn’t into you and you ended up texting him, it would stroke his ego and while he might just ignore the text, he wouldn’t be ‘”creeped out.” When it comes to girls, guys aren’t as likely to see a girl as “desperate” for initiating contact – but we definitely would see it as a sign of interest on her part.
He would know that you were into him if you texted him, but there’s nothing wrong with that – he’s already met you, he’s either going to be into connecting more with you or not. At least by trying you’ll know.
There have been times where girls have reached out to me after getting my contact info from a friend. If I was into the girl, I would connect with her and it would be all good. If I wasn’t into the girl, I wouldn’t invest much effort. I never thought the girl was creepy or anything . In fact, in most cases I liked the girl as a person and felt bad that she chose to like me as more than that. Sometimes it was just a matter of bad timing and my “rejection” had nothing to do with the girl at all.
Anyway, there nothing wrong with taking a shot if you really don’t think you’re going to see him in person again. The worst that can happen is nothing happens.
Hope that helps.
– eric charles