Gray area between low interest and REALLY busy/stressed?


Home Forums Did He Lose Interest? Gray area between low interest and REALLY busy/stressed?

This topic contains 249 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Jade 4 years, 10 months ago.

Viewing 25 posts - 101 through 125 (of 250 total)
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  • #366775 Reply

    Gigi rose

    When my ex broke up with me he delayed our talk for days. Just be prepared

    #367005 Reply

    Phoebe

    Just bumping this up, as I’m wondering how Amber is doing?
    Did you two get a chance to talk?

    #367007 Reply

    Mel

    I hope she is okay this one was so hard :-(

    #367010 Reply

    Phoebe

    Me too.

    And I wasn’t too thrilled with what I saw about you in the ‘Nothing Ever Happens’ thread. I have my fingers crossed for you too, Mel.

    #367013 Reply

    Mel

    Oh Phoebe thanks :-) I hope it will be okay too, but Im not stressing out about it, it either will be or it wont. I love and care about him but if we aren’t coming from the same place then it isn’t going to work. I use my motto of a relationship is suppose to enhance your life not hinder it. and if we aren’t traveling the same road any longer then it will be a hindrance to me, so he will either let me walk away or he will step up and do what needs to be done.

    #367017 Reply

    Phoebe

    That’s a good attitude to have, even though it still sucks. :-/
    I used that almost exact phrase to my guy a few months ago…that our relationship should be enhancing both of our lives, not making things “worse”, stressful, or complicated.

    As for myself, I am going to be patient for JUST a little while longer, and then I’m going to have to either come straight out and ask him if HE still wants this or not, b/c it’s not fair to expect me to keep myself on hold for as long as I have. That’ll suck too, but it has to be done. I want a boyfriend, a relationship, time together….NOT a texting buddy. He knows this, and said he wanted the same things as me. Well, approaching time to put up or shut up.

    Good luck with your situation, Mel……I’ll be keeping an eye on that thread. (Who am I kidding? I keep an eye on and read EVERYTHING on here!! lol)

    #367019 Reply

    Mel

    Mine is more I just want to clarify something is all. We really have an excellent relationship and never fight lol. The last two months has been really hard on us with conflicting schedules we have barley seen each other. So I don’t know if that stress had just gotten to him and he made some unwise comments or if he was just talking in general, not specific to us. So it is more of a clarification thing. I really do believe I know the answer but i’d rather ask than assume. And he knows it is coming, after the comments I just calmly let him know that we would talk later and gave him a kiss, he said Okay hun. And his behavior hasn’t changed in any way, so I guess that is why I am not really concerned. But I am also confidant in myself, he isn’t the only man who finds me attractive lol

    #367021 Reply

    Phoebe

    Atta girl!!!!!!!!!!! :)

    #367040 Reply

    CSpot

    Reading this has been great. A few things Harley said struck a nerve…in a good way. After reading it’s clear u have an amazing heart & don’t throw things away too quickly. There r too many ‘rules’ & ‘guidelines’ these days that ppl don’t understand enuf to follow properly. Following ur heart is always the best road. Tho I mean this in a confident, smart way.

    #367041 Reply

    Harley

    Thank you Cspot…. wish I could sort my OWN bloody love life out !

    #367043 Reply

    CSpot

    Dating has changed so much it’s crazy. My grandparents would be horrified at the seeming lack of effort today. I know my parents are….ha. I guess there were benefits to growing up in a small place-I value certain ‘old fashioned’ things no matter how much I travel/move. What I find difficult is reconciling to myself the contrary opinions I have. It’s hard to be myself, live my own life & be independant…and also be commited to a suitable relationship & not run at signs of trouble. Knowing that line in the sand takes time & pain….& still ends up a guessing game since every person is unique & has their own baggage. ;)

    #367044 Reply

    CSpot

    Ur doing great hun! Purging helps & ur one smart cookie!!!

    #367045 Reply

    Harley

    OOH.. I know the feeling. I WANT old fashioned dating but then I go and ruin it by being too independent and sleeping with him on the first date because I believe life’s too short to waste time.. or I am only in his area for the weekend or something.

    Half the time I don’t even realise a guy fancies me.

    Mind you.. I’m learning every day from this site.

    #367234 Reply

    Amber

    Hey guys! That really means a lot that you didn’t forget about me! Unfortunately, not much news. Ugh, still up in the air…and it sounds like he’s going back to NYC AGAIN this weekend. I’m now wondering if he’s going to end up moving back. We didn’t correspond at all weds and then he did text me late weds night asking if we could get together fri (today) and I didn’t respond at all (partially just sad that this could all be ending but upset that I’m basically on call for him) and then he sent a follow-up “I guess you’re not available, maybe some other time”. I waited a little while and told him it would be ok. I did hear from him today and we’re back to the wishy washy…maybe still tonight, maybe tomorrow before I leave…maybe Monday when I get back. You’d think if you were going to break up w/someone you’d want to do it as soon as possible!??!

    #367236 Reply

    Harley

    I’d just move on Amber. he’s more focused on himself. next time he calls.. MAKE yourself available.. just get it over and done with.. whatever that may be. TAKE CONTROL and tell him you’d like to know what he wants and stop wondering.

    #367241 Reply

    Amber

    Ha, can’t tell you the last time he’s called me! I’ve been in a text relationship for weeks now. All communication I tell you about has been text.

    #367242 Reply

    Gemini615

    Amber why are you waiting for the other shoe to drop. You are giving him more power by letting him break up on HIS terms. Take back whatever control you have over the situation and DUMP him!

    You are not happy with how is treating you lately; he’s being avoidant and keeping you in suspense. He knows what he’s doing. For your own good, dump him ASAP so you can begin to move on.

    #367245 Reply

    Sherri

    I agree with Gemini. And if all your conversation has been over text then IMO it is ok to dump him over text. This is the only time I condone dumping over text!!!!

    #367252 Reply

    Gemini615

    Agree with Sherri about the dumping over text part…its becoming too much drama just to arrange a face to face meeting with him. Please dump him.

    #367254 Reply

    Amber

    We’ve literally had a “state of the union” once a week in person for the past couple of weeks. Essentially him telling me how awful everyday is for him…me telling him that i’ll continue to give him time and space, but understand if the relationship is too much for him to handle…he says he’ll continue to “try”. I know that at this point the line of respect has been crossed, but I still love the guy and I just don’t know if I can do it via text message.

    #367256 Reply

    Gemini615

    I understand how the text message break up can seem undesirable… but at what point are you going to put YOU first and do what’s best for you?

    It could be another week or two that your relationship remains in limbo and you’re trying to schedule face to face time. You can even call him on the phone, skype, whatever. But I don’t think the delay of meeting in person to break up is worth your sanity. This is unfair to you and it’s hurting you. You can’t begin to move on when you’re still stuck in this phase with him.

    #367263 Reply

    Amber

    I know what I need to do, its just doing it. Right now I’m just trying to get through the workday w/o sobbing like a toddler…

    #367275 Reply

    Phoebe

    All I can say is hugs to you, honey.

    I agree with the ladies. At this point, you need to do what’s best for YOU, and stop worrying about catering to what’s going on with him. You’ve spent all this time wondering how your actions will affect him, and I seriously doubt that he’s given you the same consideration during this. Not saying it’s b/c he’s a jerk, but rather, b/c he’s a guy. They just don’t think outside of their own heads when they get embroiled in something.

    I know it’s not easy…..but do what you need to do for YOU. Whatever that may be.

    #367285 Reply

    mel

    We are talking about the guy who is grieving right?
    If you can’t handle the process then leave the relationship but in my opinion he is going through something you can’t understand and he is communicating with you you can not expect a miracle he is not just going to snap out if it overnight. So you either need to choose to be there for him or not. If you chose to not then walk away and don’t look back if you choose yes you are then be prepared for what is to come. Personally I think you can’t handle it and need to go because if you could you wouldn’t be upset about this.

    #367288 Reply

    Phoebe

    Oh damn! That’s right, Mel. I think I forgot that he’s the grieving guy…..

    I guess that changes what I said a bit.

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