There’s nothing better than an evolving relationship and that point when you start spending more time at each other’s places. And a lot of times, that involves the girl spending more time at her beau’s place, which always brings up the dreaded new relationship dilemma: leaving necessities at his place.
You’re not ready to move in, but you’re past the occasional sleep over and you start craving the simple things in life that you’ve become so accustomed to. It’s now time to start leaving things at his place.
Here are 5 tips to help you do just that without freaking him out.
Bobbi Brown Cosmetics Bag, $30. This is the best way to leave behind some of your everyday essentials without him feeling like there’s too much “girl invasion” going on. Let’s face it – guys can get a little weirded out by our tampons, toners, and eyelash curlers, so investing in a discreet little beauty bag is a great way to leave behind what you need without him freaking out. Buy a couple of travel sized shampoos (dry shampoo is another amazing invention and a perfect leave behind essential), hairsprays, and a plain ol’ toothbrush so that you’re never left in a pinch when his 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner just won’t work. Get something small and neutral to ease him into the transition, plus he won’t feel overwhelmed by your things.
Urban Outfitters Glass Constellation Box, $29. I have a bad habit of leaving my jewelry scattered around my dresser, nightstands, coffee tables – basically wherever I am when it comes off is usually where it stays until I wear it again. When I was spending more time with the bf before the big official move in, one thing that drove him a little nuts was my growing accessory collection on his dresser, which forced me to get a box of some sort to throw it in. This constellation box is a great one because most guys like astrology, or at least find it somewhat interesting, and the colors are neutral so it doesn’t scream “my girlfriend is taking over my room.” Toss your rings, necklaces, even mini bottles of your favorite perfume so you’re never without your needed accessories. Just rotate what you keep in there so you’ve always got a fresh supply.
Ikea Vardö Underbed Storage Box, $29.99. In the beginning, you usually either left a pair of PJs or most likely just borrowed his, but you get to a point before you actually completely move in together when you need to keep a supply of clothes at his place just in case. Maybe you’re running late to work and don’t have time to swing home to change, maybe you planned on staying in to watch a movie and your friends invite you out for drinks. You never know what’s going to pop up and it’s a good idea to have some backup clothing at his place. Under-bed storage is a great way to leave more of your clothes behind without taking over his closet or dresser space. Key essentials like a simple tee, a few blouses, a pair of jeans, a work skirt or trousers and a few pairs of go-to neutral shoes will be more than enough to make sure you’ve got all your bases covered.
Restoration Hardware Mesh Metal Bin, $49-59. It’s natural that the more time you spend together, the more things you find you need or you leave behind. Whether you bring school or office work over, your stash of magazines, you have a hobby that you do when you’re there (sketching, knitting, for me it was painting) you need a little cubby to keep your things from migrating all over the house. A simple wire basket like this is perfect to stash your belongings for when you’re there and keep them out of his way when you’re not. If you don’t want to freak him out too bad, try a covered basket or trunk (I’m not talking steamer trunk here, but something that is large enough to handle your goods) to stick in a corner somewhere.
Quilted Lingerie Bag – Mono, $55. Ahh, the dreaded leave behind – your lovely delicates. Guys love looking at you in your skivvies, and even more so taking them off, but you leave a few pairs of undies behind in his boxer/sock drawer and all hell breaks loose. Let’s get real – you need to have a couple pairs for emergencies and unless you want to pull a Carrie Bradshaw and tote those sexy thongs around in your Fendi, the reality of it is that he’s got to share some of that much coveted dresser space. Best case scenario – you’ve already got an under-bed storage container – toss them in there. But if you’re still in the earlier stages of the relationship, a lingerie bag is a great way to conceal your underthings without freaking him out. And not only does it keep your goods out of plain sight, it also helps keep your things together so you aren’t digging for them. So stuff a few pairs in there and a neutral bra and you’ve easily transitioned your undies into his place.
This is definitely the most frustrating part of any relationship, but if you talk to him and incorporate your things in a way that won’t have him feel like you’re taking over or adding to much “girly” then the process is much easier than you think. Take it slow, really figure out what you need, and go from there. And eventually you’ll hopefully be incorporating more than just a toothbrush and a bra!
Emiko Vaughn is a personal stylist and wardrober from Cleveland, OH. She currently co-owns and operates personal styling company Lageson & Vaughn with her business partner, Kirsten Lageson.