I recently met a guy out of the country and I thought we hit it off. I visit the country often and plan to return in a few months. I hung out with him the last 2 days before I left so I didn’t get to spend that much time with him. The last time I saw him we discussed him coming to visit me as long as I got time off from work. And it was all his idea to come visit me not me. We also said that we would keep in touch through messenger. FYI- he and his ex girlfriend (first and only girlfriend) were together for 6 years and they broke up last year in March. According to his family (we met through our families), she treated him really badly and controlled his every move. She took advantage of his niceness. He also briefly told me about her and she sounded a bit psycho, but I believe they still keep in touch.
It’s been 2 weeks and I haven’t heard from him. I texted him last week and never heard back. I also emailed him a few days ago and included a pic we took and I still haven’t heard from him. I’m no longer going to bother making my effort because he obviously isn’t but what do you think happened???
Read our guy’s response after the jump!
Honestly, I don’t think there’s any way of knowing what’s happening with him. I mean – if you live in separate countries, that’s definitely a “long-distance relationship.”
But I can understand where you’re coming from… One minute he’s in touch with you, then all of a sudden he’s gone without a trace. No explanation, no understandable reason… and you’re left with your head spinning, wondering what’s what.
Well, I’m going to tell you something that I have realized in my own life in cases like this. And that is: you don’t know and there’s no way that you’ll be able to. Sure maybe you have connections who can fill you in… or maybe you have some way of getting a clue from looking at something he updates (Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, etc. etc.)
The bigger issue here is your own mental/emotional state. You’re confused, you’re worried, you’re upset. These emotions are all understandable when someone you care about disappears. But again, if you can’t do anything to find out, the unfortunate fact is that you’ll just have to wait until he pops up again. And I expect that you will handle the situation in the appropriate manner once he does. In most cases, that means listening to what he has to say… and if his excuse is anything short of becoming a prisoner of war… you verbally tear his head off. That’s the way these things usually go down. 🙂
The one thing I can really recommend is to remember that there’s no way of you knowing what’s happening and there’s nothing that you could have done and can do, so focus on accepting that the situation is out of your control and that you will handle it appropriately when it needs to be, but you will enjoy yourself in the meantime. This is not your fault… it means nothing about you, about who you are or about what you did. It’s just what the situation is and there’s nothing you can do about it because there’s no way you can know.
And frankly, it would be a waste of time to try and play detective. There’s no benefit to putting yourself through that agony (this situation actually reminded me of the last From Heartbreak and Back submission). My opinion (and just as a reminder, this is all just my opinion)… is that you should focus on enjoying your life. Don’t sacrifice enjoying your life to wait for answers in this case.
– eric charles