What is the best way to handle this with dignity and class?


Home Forums Break Up Advice What is the best way to handle this with dignity and class?

This topic contains 254 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  joan 4 years, 8 months ago.

Viewing 25 posts - 201 through 225 (of 255 total)
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  • #590502 Reply

    Andrea

    I think she did ask for a perfect text reply. So? That doesn’t mean she was invested. It meant he hurt her. She was upset and venting and asking for help.

    Someone can hurt you without it meaning you want a relationship with them.

    You have also spent hours on here angry and posting and arguing your point so it seems incredibly hypocritical to judge her for doing the same on her own thread.

    You’re determined again to stereotype this situation into the scorned woman who was so desperate to get the guy. As I recall the story “the guy” had been calling / texting her for weeks trying to see her and she had said no.

    Doesn’t sound desperate to me. Sounds more like he was….

    #590503 Reply

    t

    idk serena…you’re absolutely right…let’s put the OP down again and again and again until they leave so you can feel better about yourself. You’re totally right that she should already know the answer to her question, what a moron.

    #590504 Reply

    t

    Honestly I don’t think Pip even reads anyones posts and if she does, I doubt she is able to comprehend them. It is too high level.

    #590507 Reply

    Pip

    I read just find and comprehend too.. lol… the OP already said she left and wasn’t coming back so why you keep this thread going is beyond me unless you are Sophie yourself. Which makes sense because she never could just leave without having the last word. ‘Intense’ she is… or so her ex three date guy says.

    #590509 Reply

    t

    Because you fail to acknowledge any of the facts both I and Andrea have pointed out. You literally respond as though you hadn’t read what she or I have said. I have asked you plenty of questions as well that you have not answered.

    I don’t like the bullying mentality on this forum so I’m reacting.

    #590510 Reply

    Andrea

    Serena post is correct. Best thing to do us walk away. If people had written that then the thread would be 1 page long. It’s not though because people weren’t saying that. They were more slur shaming, calling OP names and making her repeat and defend herself.

    Pip. T asked you more than once where you were getting your information from. You ignored her. Then called her a lesbian. Same as you did OP. Making stuff up and then insulting.

    Also…when Serena commented that the simple answer was not to engage and you said “my Pont exactly “… I read all the pages and don’t see where you made zany thing resemblin a point on those lines. I saw you more laughing at the OP, calling her ridiculous, telling her to buy a funeral outfit etc.

    So not sure what your exact point was but I’m guessing it was to gang up on someone online and upset them

    #590511 Reply

    t

    Pip, aren’t you keeping the thread going also?

    #590513 Reply

    Pip

    This has been fun. I gotta go watch some paint dry now.

    #590514 Reply

    t

    Pip, why do you keep responding on the thread?

    …You are overly invested in this thread and must be angry because you had sex with a guy you are dating too soon. You’ve been spending way too much time on this thread and I think you need therapy. LOL you’re ridiculous!

    #590516 Reply

    Sophie

    I am stepping in one final time to comment here and it will be the final time.

    t is not me, I do not know t and am happy for admin to check and confirm that if that is possible – yet another ludicrous accusation as I think it’s more likely that Pip is more than one person on this thread. I have only posted on this thread under this name, which again admin can maybe confirm by checking IP addressed?

    All the way through this thread people have resorted to the lowest common denominator of strategies with one objective -to make other people feel bad.

    I’d like to thank t, Jamie, Nat, Helen, Andrea and anyone else who stepped in to comment on the thread in terms of the bullying that took place: I agree with everything you said, I could not win here and they were determined to change my words and interpret them as something to fit their agenda and frame me as a person I am not.

    Thank you for taking the time to speak out on this. It is important to stand up for what’s right in the world and it IS a good investment of your time to do that, if it prevents even one person to going through the experience I went through today and it definitely helped me feel better, so thank you.

    There’s a nobility and a real show of great character on the people that took time to post and defend on here because they felt as incensed as I did by the meanness. The kind of person to take time from their day and life to defend a stranger on the web is a really good person with a really good heart. Thank you from the bottom of mine.

    There’s not a lot of nobility in the people who have spent two days hanging around to dish out more and more of the meanness :( I honestly just don;t get the point of why you waste your life doing that.

    t – I do not think you guys will ever have any impact on these people, nor will you ever win. When they realise they have no point they resort to calling you a lesbian. Sorry you all got caught in the cross fire of nonsense.

    #590517 Reply

    Madrilena

    As usual very harsh responses. Sophie, beware of men using you for a relationship. Is the worse headwreck, far worse than being used for sex. Being used for a relationship will destroy your self-esteem so you did the right thing to end.

    #590526 Reply

    Pip

    My condolences.., please give my regards at the funeral Sophie. That’s all that matters ..

    #590531 Reply

    t

    Sophie you’re right… I had a very very similiar experience to yours on this forum awhile back so I was just extra annoyed when I saw it happening again. Thanks for the response. Hugs and all the best

    #590536 Reply

    Nat

    Sophie, I am so sorry for your friend. It seems like a terrible curse, so much tragedy for one poor soul.

    Sophie, in my view you are correct in almost everything (except for maybe sleeping with him on the second date, I still think you need to be more careful and less trusting). In all your writing you sound like a VERY intelligent, articulate, educated and deep woman who does not think in schematic textbook terms and understands that things can be complex, who is willing to be vulnerable and open, not afraid to express herself when she is hurt or offended. There were two-three more women here who agreed with you, not just me, so keep this in mind. lol You will always be in minority my friend, get used to it. I quite enjoy it. lol

    Try not to waste so much of your energy on people who can’t understand you, agree to disagree with them if you see there is a brick wall. You are in Europe? brainwashing is not the same there as in the States, complexity is welcomed and procedural schematic reactions are not as widespread, yet.

    Expecting decency is still the norm among normal people. Keep on expecting it, do not settle for less, and you WILL find a normal guy. if you value yourself and your time MORE, you will find a great guy. Do not waste so much of your energy on everyone indiscriminately. You wasted a lot of your intelligence and warmth on this (undeserving) guy and you wasted a lot of the same here, trying to convince women here that decency should be expected and that even if a woman made a mistake this does not mean the guy is off the hook for entrapment and that he “doesn’t owe you anything” . Things like that are STILL given for many people, thankfully.

    Know your worth and value yourself MORE.

    Anyway this was my “short” (lol haha) way of saying: you are in a minority but you’re not alone my friend. And most importantly: my deepest condolences for your loss.

    #590538 Reply

    Jack

    I haven’t seen such a waste of time and emotion on here since Mike

    #590539 Reply

    Jamie

    People must miss him. This thread is going for a record!

    #590542 Reply

    L

    Miss you mike.. you are a higher level of crazy hun!

    #590638 Reply

    What

    Let’s give this thread credit for one of the longest running!! Happy new year all!!! Looking forward to an exciting and interesting new year!

    #590673 Reply

    Lane

    Ladies you really need to calm down! This is what men call “drama” and it will keep you single. Effective communication and active listening are woefully lacking today as is allowing others the right to have an opinion whether you agree with it or not. Its up to the OP to decide which response s/he wants to accept or reject and if they ENGAGE then step back and allow them to deal with that particular poster on their own, or not deal with them—its called a CHOICE, we all have one.

    The OP attacked too, and has been manipulating this thread from the beginning. She turned a deaf ear the moment the ladies started responding so it has been a futile waste of time for many of us, myself included. Need to let this thread die and and move on to those who truly want to receive help or assistance, this OP clearly does not.

    #590675 Reply

    L

    Can’t we all hold hands and be friends? Peace out… weed out… consider sex with a woman and see how dramatic that can be! .. two women mates on their periods! Lol! Men balance women and vice versa!

    I’m stoned at the moment… what was I saying? Oh yeah,,, love you ladies! I think transsexuals are the way to go. They know who they are and what they want… free love y’all! Where are my comrades on here :-) mike! Help me!

    #590716 Reply

    BlueBernstein

    Hmmmm, interesting. No one “forced” the OP to “defend” herself. I like the point someone made that if someone called you a fat ugly whore would you fight with them or would you walk away because it was of no matter to you. This was a lot of drama because the OP kept it up. Clearly she’s hurting over the loss of her friend and clearly she was a lot more invested in this guy than she wants to admit. If someone is rude to me I either make a short comment back and walk or just walk. I don’t post on a public site asking how to zing him back. That is someone who cares. People who don’t care don’t behave this way. Just saying. The OP had choices that she didn’t opt to take. This has turned into a circus because some people don’t want to hear other points of view and feel they have to be right.

    #590718 Reply

    BlueBernstein

    T – if its so bad here then why are you still here? Just curious. I don’t see any “bullying”. People have different opinions. It’s interesting to see who is in victim mentality by crying mean girls and bullying. For there to be a bully here has to be someone who is willing to be bullied. If someone gets in your face you can either hold your ground or you can walk because it isn’t worth your time and energy. Bullies will always crumble in the face of either because they are weak, frightened people and they are looking for an energy feed. When you don’t give it by calming standing up to them or just refusing to engage in their drama, they deflate pretty quick. Trump tried on many occasions to bully Clinton. She didn’t act like a victim and his tactics didn’t work.

    Anyway, Serena was right. The answer to the question was you don’t engage by trying to come up with clever zingers, you say I don’t like the way you treated me, don’t contact me again and you let it go. OP needed the energy feed if you ask me or she would have stopped this whole thing pretty quick.

    #590719 Reply

    BlueBernstein

    T: Serena matter of factly pointed out something that seemed obvious to her. She did not name call or anything. Yet your interpretation was she was insulting the OP. And your response was:

    idk serena…you’re absolutely right…let’s put the OP down again and again and again until they leave so you can feel better about yourself. You’re totally right that she should already know the answer to her question, what a moron.

    So now who’s bullying, name calling etc??

    Those of you who say it’s mean girls and all that – that is simply YOUR interpretation of words on a screen. This is a forum for opinions. If you don’t like it, don’t engage or don’t be here. For someone who claims that girls are being mean for ego boost, kicks, etc. you don’t seem to realize you’re doing exactly what you are accusing others of.

    #590721 Reply

    Marie

    I think you are bored of your lives, all of you….

    #590724 Reply

    T

    “For there to be a bully there has to be someone who is willing to be bullied….”

    That is not a logical statement. So when a person is bullied, it is because they are willing? You don’t have to have a victim mentality to be bullied. Trump still bullied Clinton at the end of the day, despite her responses to him or lack of.

    As far as your accusations of my hypocrisy- I didn’t name call anyone.

    If calling someone a lesbian or saying the op should be picking out clothes for a funeral isn’t nasty or bullying behavior then i don’t know what is.

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