What is the best way to handle this with dignity and class?


Home Forums Break Up Advice What is the best way to handle this with dignity and class?

This topic contains 254 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  joan 4 years, 8 months ago.

Viewing 25 posts - 226 through 250 (of 255 total)
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  • #590726 Reply

    T

    Also, many of the posts on here were not up for interpretation. There was one meaning. Posts that were nasty were not lost in translation or misinterpreted to be so.

    #590870 Reply

    Andrea

    I think 10 pages in and the same things are still being said. No wonder it drove OP a little crazy.

    I can’t think of much more annoying than being angry at someone for treating you like crap and listening to a crowd telling you the reason you are upset is not be because he did sonething wrong, but because you secretly want the guy. You very much twisted this story from page 1 and just continued and still continue long after OP stopped reading.

    It wasn’t just important to you to ram down her throat your own ideas and ignore her but youre still trying to do it long after she left.

    Are women so undervalued here that they can’t be legitimately angry without it meaning they want the guy? Maybe just maybe they are sometimes just angry.

    I see a simple story here.

    Girl meets not. Boy talks her into bed by telling her what she wants to hear. Girl realises this and walks away. Boy continues to chase after girl to get her into bed again. Girl thinks they are friendly and then the guy is pretty rude and insensitive to her on a bad day and girl gets angry.

    Solution: don’t ever speak to the guy again. He was not worth her time as a date and he was definitely not worth her time as a friend either!! Only interested in having sex with her.

    So simple!!!

    It was obvious the OP had done nothing wrong you all set about telling her she had secret feelings for him, it was her fault she believed him., boys will be boys etc.

    The escalated to calling her crazy, saying she needed mental health care,called her ridiculous, laughed at death of her friend, called her a liar and said it was no suprise the guy didn’t want to date her.

    She got so angry because of ya’lls behaviour. You baited her! Then blamed her gor being so mad. It’s like hitting dome one and blaming them for having a bruise.

    It was a gang attack!

    OP did nothing. A lot of you people are just bitchy.

    OP made it go on by defending herself? Her fault again? Come on!!! Are you saying that if a person comes on here, gets attacked and bullied and doesn’t elect to run away crying that it’s her own fault? Bullying!! She stood up for herself. Good job Sophie.

    Think carefully about how you use your time! You’re life is slipping away one minute at a time. You really want to waste it telling a stranger on the internet how you think she feels?

    Either help, be kind, or go and get a life

    #590888 Reply

    L

    Well, that’s 10 minutes of your life you’ll never get back.

    #590907 Reply

    Andrea

    10 minutes invested in speaking out against trolling is a well spent 10 minutes.

    What’s your excuse?

    #590909 Reply

    L

    I can’t stop laughing! It’s like watching those tiny fiesty little rat dogs biting at people’s heels!

    #590916 Reply

    Andrea

    Happy people with a full life would probably not seek or get enjoyment from putting others down. Or laughter from a person processing a loss.

    #590920 Reply

    L

    Happy people would move on! But this is better than watching the kardashians! Lol

    #590922 Reply

    T

    Andrea, L spends a great deal of time on this forum. She comments on most threads with one or two line comments, very much like her comments on here. I wouldn’t waste your time even responding to her.

    #590924 Reply

    L

    Gotcha! Xxx

    #591055 Reply

    Kelly

    Where is the Mean Girls Patrol when “Nat” makes comments. Worst offender here. Not a word from “Andrea” or “t” or all of you who think you are right and everyone else is wrong because they don’t agree with you.

    #591059 Reply

    Peggy

    Sophie refused to listen to the advice to write the guy off as a jerk and not waste anymore time and energy on him. She kept going on and on posting and trying to get some kind of different answer. She also was in a bad emotional space because of her friend. I think many women on here were nasty and made unhelpful and uncalled for remarks. I do not defend them, but she was acting pretty irrational and over the top. He does sound like he took advantage/lied to her. This happens to us women often,sometimes bevause the guys are pigs and sometimes because we are stupid. Really, it is just how it is-it would be great of that was not the case but…

    #592291 Reply

    Suz

    Andrea, T, BRAVO… eloquently said and astonishingly accurate and all counts. Both of you ladies are clearly fierce and possess composure, empathy and sympathy for people on here. Well done, indeed.

    #592300 Reply

    Helen

    Suz, when you are here a while and you see the same old same old same old things happening over and over and then ladies will not take good advice but keep posting and digging their heels in to prove to themselves they are right, you will understand better why certain people are more direct. Andrea hasn’t posted here in months and T just suddenly showed up. All around the same time Jamie posts. Mean girls patrol is good at pointing fingers for being mean and judgmental when they do the same things to those who disagree with them. Guarantee one of them will post here and slam me for saying so. No one is here for kicks, everyone is trying to help. Some are more eloquent and tactful than others. Some have a more direct style. If you don’t like the advice, ignore it. Fights break here on a regular basis because egos get involved.

    #592351 Reply

    L

    Good ol, suz. Has to stir up the pot again!

    #592357 Reply

    Jamie

    So, what are you saying Helen? That I’m Andrea and T? Another poster accused me of being Suz. I don’t even think any of these posters have a tone that’s close to me. Actually, I am a regular poster from YEARS who just started posting under a different name and e-mail address because I was tired of personal information that I shared with posters so they could have the benefit of my experience being thrown in my face every single time someone disagreed with me. Or, I would ask a question that had nothing to do with ANYTHING from my past like “does this sound like a good guy for me to date,” and have everyone go off on me telling me I shouldn’t be dating and should, I guess, go crawl down a hole somewhere. It was not helping me and it was upsetting me. I AM sensitive and I feel other’s pain and I don’t like seeing other people hurt and in pain. I was bullied a lot as a child and because of that I always stand up when I see others being bullied.

    I have never engaged in bullying behavior because I disagreed with someone. I’m sorry if you feel that I have. I agree that there are some posters who get upset when they are not told what they want to hear. It’s human nature to be like that. I think it’s even more frustrating for many women on here when they see themselves in the poster and wish they didn’t make the choice they made at the time and that causes them to react to the person in a very emotional way that can put the person on the defensive.

    I think there is a difference between telling someone harsh truth…which I have done, if I don’t think someone is interested, I will say, sorry he’s not interested…and being mean to them. I know some people don’t believe in sugarcoating. Yes. But there is a difference between saying “He’s not interested in you, you’re wasting your time, move on…” and telling the poster “you’re pathetic, you’re stupid, you need therapy…” etc etc. The latter is bullying. It’s not surprising that people are starting to think this is okay when we have a major leader of the free world freely engaging in it and being applauded for it. Well, I’m going to fight it and stand up for people when I see it happening to them. Because in my mind, tomorrow that could be me.

    #592362 Reply

    L

    Omg.. can’t we all just calm down? Breathe!

    #592380 Reply

    t

    the OP wasn’t refusing any advice but was continuously being accused of doing so…

    #592387 Reply

    What

    What?

    #592396 Reply

    Joan

    t-really-if that was the case-that she was listening and understanding the advice (which mainly was to not give this guy another minute of her time) she would have said thanks and stopped responding. She did not and sounded more and more irrational in each answer.

    #592397 Reply

    t

    well from what I read, she was providing more information, responding to other posters and defending some mean things that were said to her. She never texted the guy back and had no intention of continuing a “friendship”.

    #592399 Reply

    Joan

    But her original question was”what classy comeback/exit line can I text to this guy?” Nearly everyone said just don’t/leave it alone and move on and she kept going on an on. I do not defend cruel comments, but she was very frustrating with her comments so people got frustrated with her attitude. She can take or not advice or pick and chose but why did she need to argue with our opinions. Again-she sounded irrational-even if we know the cause could be stress from her friend dying-that is how she sounded.

    #592400 Reply

    t

    I know what you are saying, but the comments that you describe as “on and on” were more in response to a few of the cruel posters. Following her question, Maria responded with good advice (ignore him) and then another poster said “omg. drama queen!” (not very nice).

    From here, I don’t think she was going “on and on” about the guy, rather she was defending misinterpretations of her feelings or twisting of facts or just to mean posts in general.

    #592407 Reply

    Joan

    Yes-but actually that kind of makes my point-just as she should have/could have chosen to not answer and forget this guy-which I guess she did eventually-she bothered to respond/try to explain. So she has a habit of dignifying crap behavior with a response when maybe the classy way she seeks would be to take the high road and ignore/not engage with bad behavior from men or posters on here alike=just as was originally advised.

    #592409 Reply

    t

    I tend to agree that it’s usually best to ignore crap behavior… but in this instance, I could see why she was responding, as a lot of the posts totally twisted the truth and painted a false image of her. When that’s happened to me (both in real life or on the internet), it’s hard not to defend myself or share my truth. In way more extreme cases of bullying, the victim often does take what they perceive to be the high road (ignoring, silence, moving on) and it actually makes the situation worse for the victim.

    #592412 Reply

    Jamie

    I think the OP was being sensitive and overreacting. Yes, definitely. Very emotional. I think that was more because of her losing her friend then about the situation with a guy, and she was in pain and hurting and people on here were being cruel to her. She was striking back at them and expressing her emotion to THEM because she couldn”t express it to DEATH who took her friend. This was an outlet for her. I think people definitely could have been more supportive.

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