This topic contains 166 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Ashley 6 years, 3 months ago.
May 13, 2015 at 8:42 pm #427712
Not directed at anybody here…just a lot about neediness lately, everywhere. It’s like a disease that nobody wants to be around.May 13, 2015 at 8:48 pm #427714
Jenny, love your story about sick 36 year old. I feel closer to them when they forgive me. Some of them are even flattered, if they think we’re hot and slightly maybe out of their reach. Some find it funny and still forgive.May 13, 2015 at 8:56 pm #427716
I miss my hookup lover dude, but I have to be strong next time he texts me, I cannot cave. He disrespected me by taking a call from another woman in front of me. I can’t forget that because he will likely outdo himself in the future, and I don’t want to experience how outrageous the next thing in store for me is…I want to keep my good memories of my special 3 year love affair (not an affair, we were both single and free) that started out as a one night stand. It was special and did mean something.May 13, 2015 at 10:39 pm #427728
Lol. Dauny this line made my night!!!”The little shit that I could have picked up and thrown his 5’5? ass out the window” bahahahaha. I was seriously dying laughing reading that one. Lol. And yeah, boy memories are the best sometimes. But all good, you’ll find a good guy who you can make better memories with :)May 13, 2015 at 10:39 pm #427729
Lol. Dauny this line made my night!!!”The little shit that I could have picked up and thrown his 5’5? ass out the window” bahahahaha. I was seriously dying laughing reading that one. Lol. And yeah, boy memories are the best sometimes. But all good, you’ll find a good guy who you can make better memories with :)May 14, 2015 at 12:32 am #427741
Beautifully said Khadija. U do talk so much sense always. Atta girl!!May 14, 2015 at 5:05 am #427757
He is creating drama at where you work. A place where you cannot readily respond and he knows it. This is abusive emotionally.
He could be a man and talk with you when you can respond…when you can say what you really think and feel.
He is putting out the message that he will have nothing ahead of him….no understanding no nothing. He is very seriously looking for your attention. We all become children when our needs are not met…oh, maybe not on the surface if we are mature…but deep down we throw those tantrums…
It is up to you – if you want to fix this he needs your undivided attention when he is not asking for it…he needs you to show him that he takes a front seat with you. You need to carve out extra time to spend with him beyond what you are doing now…tell him you want to see him unexpectedly – that you miss his presence. Go out of your way to make him feel special…plan small things you can do for him that make him know you are always thinking of him…such as sending him emails with articles of interests he has. Make sure you give him admiration on a regular basis…
Otherwise, it would be best to end this…speaking logically to a “need” will not work…it is a “need” and does not go away.May 14, 2015 at 7:11 am #427787
I spent almost all night talking to him, yes he was very depressed and could not say what exactly he wanted from me. Consequently I am sleepy and I am at work and he is at home sleeping and resting :(May 14, 2015 at 9:00 am #427797
Half day gone. I wonder if I should call and check on him or leave him for a day to absorb . I read on how to help people with depression but I am unsure of frequency of being around them or specially when it’s your bf who almost broke up with you yesterday !! Anyone ?May 17, 2015 at 1:00 pm #428504
Ladies, can someone please help here. I was with him all through Saturday and we had sex at night. He was so depressed before that and cribbing over how I got so busy lately, whereas he did too. But I never complained. On Sunday he left and then I thought he might come over again. When he did not until noon, I texted him asking him , babe are you coming back? He replied saying , going out with friends!
I called him once for something but he did not answer or called back. The day is ending and I have not heard from him.
I am not sure if this feeling is right but I feel like once again he used me to take it out in every possible way and now he don’t care about me, he feels better and he is gone to have fun !!
What should I do to gain some serenity back? What should I really do? I honestly thought we will stay at my place and go to work from here together. I feel betrayed.May 17, 2015 at 1:40 pm #428515
Men get exhilarated after sex. Like an injection of manliness booster. We feel used when they do this. I handle it by always leaving first or telling them I’ve got stuff to do and he can’t stay. If I found a man I would not have to do this with, I would not do it, but if I’m afraid they are going to pull that on me, I don’t give them a chance. However, he sounds like he has a depression problem. Depressed people are often very selfish. Men generally don’t need to cuddle after sex. Cause they’re done! For the time being. Either way, do not feel used by him. Was it satisfying for you? Rhetorical question. If so, you weren’t a usage victim. If not, be glad he gave you a break. You’ve got your hands full with this one. Take care of yourself…he’s not your husband that you vowed for better or worse.May 17, 2015 at 1:41 pm #428516
The cuddling statement was just an example…not meant to say he didn’t or doesn’t do it.May 17, 2015 at 1:48 pm #428517
They can also be emotionally and physically abusive. I’m wondering if you could call some kind of hotline. Even maybe a suicide hotline…not that he’s suicidal, but maybe they could advise youMay 17, 2015 at 1:49 pm #428518
Thanks for your post Dauny. No it was not satisfying for me and I told him and hence I was looking forward to Sunday and I feel bad because I know he knew and I do feel the way he behaved is extremely selfish and hence I feel used.May 17, 2015 at 2:00 pm #428520
He looks very satisfied to me, by the way he is behaving !! I am right here, available, but he is rallying somewhere or having fun. Whereas just two days back he was crying, blowing up my phone, made me stay up all night. Stressed me out at work for two continuous days!!! And now that I do have time and I want him he is not bothered!!May 17, 2015 at 2:00 pm #428521
relaxing* not rallying, typo.May 17, 2015 at 2:38 pm #428529
I would suggest you take a deep look in other behavioural signs he shows. Red curley sue said that he is emotionally abusive and that’s what i was thinking as well. He wants you on on a rollercoaster, maybe because he is unhappy himself. But i doubt he is there for you now. I would rethink things that have happened in the relationship to see if there are more red flags. You also stated somewhere, that he would punish you in bed. I’m not sure what you meant by that, could be a joke, but if he tries to play a lot of mindgames its usually a sign that the guy is either immature, unsecure or controlling/narcisist. I wouldn’t talk to him for now and let him choke in it for a bit.May 17, 2015 at 2:42 pm #428530
You’re allowing yourself to be treated like this. I’m all about helping my man recover but yes, when I need TLC I’d like the favor returned. & just because you were there for him for a couple nights doesn’t mean you get to then dictate what he does with his time. That just suggests that your intentions were disingenuous and circumstantial. You CHOSE to be up all night & blah blah blah then sleep with him so you can’t say he “made” you do anything. Plus, you’ve spent so much time w him, maybe he needs a breather. But honestly, I’d peace out. Little boys are a drain. There’s a reason I don’t have children & no thank you to dating one!May 17, 2015 at 3:03 pm #428534
Didn’t you say that he has very busy schedule as well. you need to talk to him and explain to him that it’s hard for you as well and you’re going to the same thing he has you just being selfish this is just my opinionMay 17, 2015 at 3:03 pm #428535
He seems to be manipulative.May 17, 2015 at 3:09 pm #428536
Or she’s easily manipulated…May 17, 2015 at 3:11 pm #428537
The first person I observe in these types of situations is always myself.May 17, 2015 at 3:15 pm #428538
To be manipulative or get manipulated, its sort of the same thing. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you can get blindsighted even if you’re not easily manipulated. I fell for a ton of tricks stunts and gameplay, because i just wasnt ready. It can happen, i could write a book about it now. The good thing is, you can learn from it and walk away.May 17, 2015 at 3:25 pm #428540
Many times people don’t realize that they are being manipulated. Those people are really good at it.May 17, 2015 at 4:28 pm #428559
Anon isn’t being manipulative, I don’t see that at all here. She’s got a genuine at least partial psycho she’s dealing with. If he punishes you in bed, that is a bad sign. One guy I was with admitted he liked playing with me. Got pleasure from tormenting me. When I inadvertently figured out how to flip the script, it’s like he realized it in bed after one round of gymnastic sex. He literally said, I’ll teach you to try that again. All I had done was get him to commit to seeing me that night cause he kept playing this game he always does which is tease me with sex talk texts and then masterbate (TMI). The way he punished me was to give me a solid panel of hickies on my lower abdomen. It was bruised for a long time. Showed my friends, it looked like I’d had a bowling ball dropped on me. Wasn’t painful but it looked like it. I figured that was my punishment for making him see me. Oh yeah, I said c me tonight or I’m never f$$$ing you again. He went all needy on me, begging me, texting nonstop. I finally went over and once he had me, he resented me. I learned to play from him.