This topic contains 166 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Ashley 7 years, 3 months ago.
May 24, 2015 at 7:37 am #430316
Soni and Anon,
Didn’t mean to suggest you were trying to get closer, when I said what I said, I was responding to something I related to in this thread somewhere about telling a guy why your doing NC, which gives them power. Sorry…was I who have mistakenly done this for closure. There is no such thing as closure, in reality, which is why I need to stop looking for it. But you guys I think were not doing what I wrote about why I do….lolMay 24, 2015 at 11:58 am #430385
no I have done this too in the past. texted a long message telling him m going wid the intention of having him come running back. lol. dint work ofcourse. this time when I msgd before severing all ties, it was strictly wid the intention of closing this chapter once and for all. I don’t expect him to come back and he didn’t. its ok. I know now if he returns he will do the same things or rather not do the things which I feel I deserve. had to let this one go even though I was attracted to him and liked him. but no point because bec it will keep hapeening and I will feel disappointed each time.May 25, 2015 at 6:53 am #430567
Today I am going through hyper anxiety which is also making me feel sick. Its like my body is reacting to some kind of loss. I have not heard from him. I am not sure what to do.May 25, 2015 at 8:14 am #430575
please get a grip. u know don’t you its all in the head. trust me it is. please don’t let yourself get sick over some1 like that. or rather over any 1!!. think ur fine and u will be. focus on your work.. it will be alrt in the next few days. we have told you not to wait. don’t look at yr phone. just think of it as a break from him. time to focus on u. and please stop being melodramatic.. not going to helpMay 25, 2015 at 8:22 am #430576
and don’t forget. he walked out on u. he said he doesn’t want to be wid u. u didn’t. u dint break things off. he did.. nothing u can do..
o yes wait. u have an option. u can call and ask him to take u back. plead with him to take u back. cry. he just might take u back. is that what u want??? is that how u want ur relationship to work?? just be tough. hold strong. its not the end of the world. if there ever has to be something let him come back to u. let him tell u how much he misses u. let him tell u he wants to try to make things wid u.
v can only advise and suggest based on our experiences and as an objective viewer. but it all comes down to u. wht u really want deep down..May 26, 2015 at 8:45 am #430853
Came to this thread as anxiety grew. I went online to message a friend, he was online there after 3 days and the minute I went on he went off!! I don’t knew if he noticed me or he did notice and because I went on and he went off but it shook me up from inside. It’s one thing to feel bad about situation and know what’s right for you and another to keep reminding your mind that it’s ok. Why is the process not kicking in naturally?
I wonder if I should go off from messenger for a few days or should I carry on as usual ?May 26, 2015 at 9:36 am #430867
it can’t come naturally. A lot is involved when u break up with someone. u have the psychological, emotional, physical distress. getting over a break up is something we do through continuous effort…in moving on…it does get better. u’re doing well in not keeping tabs with him…
can’t u block him from messenger? if u can, do so…the constant reminders of him on ur face will be detrimental to ur healing processMay 26, 2015 at 10:13 am #430877
stay away. block. do whatever is required that keeps u away. let him not mess with your head anymore. ensure all temptations are far away. its hard work. mentally and emotionally and totally draining. but hold on. u will be fine, m sure. :-)June 12, 2015 at 8:49 am #435110
It’s been so many days. I was hurting! Came here to read the advices. On another note I feel used and although I am a nice and forgiving person that I like to be but I feel he has moved on too easily !! I want to hurt him real bad! And I am hurting too :(June 12, 2015 at 9:19 am #435115
Anon. u sound much better u know..:-). really. see its gud u dint connect. u stayed strong. that’s awsm. I think if he doesn’t connect with u for more then 2 months then u can assume hemay not connect. but that’s ok. ur over the worst. ofcrse u will thnk of him and the great times u had today. but that’s only nrmal. ur doing great… keep it up honey..June 12, 2015 at 11:35 am #435138
I know all of this is hard but continue to give it time. Try not to focus on what went wrong but what you can learn from it.
Men tend to handle break ups differently from women, he’s probably hurting too. However, men were not brought up to show all kinds of emotion and sulk around after a break up.June 12, 2015 at 6:46 pm #435221
Thanks Soni and khadija. I am going through all type of emotions..anger, relief, sadness, freedom. But sometimes I feel like destroying him completely!! I feel really annoyed by some of the things he did to me and I let him do to me! can’t take it back but I want him to never be able to have his ways with anyone else in the world!
I am trying to control and calm down.June 12, 2015 at 6:53 pm #435222
Focus on something other than him. you allow your entire world to revolve around him. you need to let go of this unhealthiness. letting go is actually simple when you reach the point you have finally had enough. there is only so much time you can spend dwelling on it til one day you decide you have had enough of obsessing over a man. you CAN say to yourself, you know what, I’m tired of being miserable, it’s getting me nowhere, it’s only bringing me down, I’ve had ENOUGH of this, and I’m going to stop thinking about it & be happy. you CAN do this if you REALLY want to. if you want to keep drowning yourself in misery, that’s what you will do, but when you have truly had enough & truly want to stop, it IS possible. you need to love yourself instead of the idea of someone loving youJune 13, 2015 at 12:02 am #435235
all that u feeling is pretty normal. u go through ur grief hurt confusion and whys and then there is anger at him and to some extent urself. y cldn’t u see what he was doing. all this is normal. but the imp thing is u now try focusing on stuff other then him. mk a conscious effort. retribution and hurting someone doesn’t pay. it only keeps u tied to the person long after hes gone. so u basically still letting his thots even though negatives rule ur head and life. please don’t go down that road. there will only be negativity there.
m not saying get involved with other men. bec its too soon. just think of urself as single and free to do anything. pick up the threads of ur lfe. .. :-)June 13, 2015 at 6:49 am #435270
how long does it take to get over all this and stop wasting time sulking over what happened and to stop thinking about if he is hurting or not? I keep myself busy but my mind take every single opportunity to think about him and get restless! I don’t want him back but I want to know that he is not okay and he is miserable. I want him to reach to me and tell me he is hurting.June 13, 2015 at 8:24 am #435279
that’s how it is for every1 who is going thru a break up I suppose. that’s normal. but after a point of time, u decide that u will make an obvious effort to stop this thinking since it wont lead u anywhere. if u give up before u start that u will probably not be able to get over him. simply because u don’t want to..
your last few lines show your still hoping, expecting and waiting for him to come back. does that mean if he comes and just says he missed u, u will simply get back with him???? u need to accept that hes not coming back its over. and I think only once u accept that will u actually initiate the process of really getting over him.
anon we all here simply give our opinions based on our experience and past mistakes. some things people post u can connect with other things u cant. so u basically take that advice which truly makes sense to u and with which u can connect. Ultimately its your call and your efforts sweety. u have to decide and repeat to urself I wont let myself be miserable and do your best to be happy casue u owe it to urself. :-)June 13, 2015 at 6:46 pm #435389
The underlying message in what you have been saying throughout all this time is that at the end of the day, no matter what we tell you, you STILL want him to reach out to you & want some sort of validation from him. I sense that no matter what you say, you still seek his attention. You still do not let go. To get over this you have to TRULY let go and stop wanting ANYTHING from this man. The fact you still want something from him is what is keeping you attached. I think if you work on loving yourself more, you will snap out of it & not want anything to do with him FOR REAL. So my advice is to you is to work on yourself & everything else will follow.