if it’s going to work, it will all work out with zero worry needed. If I have to worry, it’s not the right relationship.
You look at your worrying as a sign to think about it and analyze it… whereas the winning move is just to be like, “Okay, I made a mistake… NEXT!”
Compatible people light each other up… they can’t get enough of each other because they both get such a charge and they just plain enjoy time together. Incompatible people, on the other hand, get negative feelings when they think about the other person — whether it’s feeling nervous, worried, angry, annoyed, motivated to attack, motivated to cut down, etc.
While you spent days thinking about him, his process may have been completely different. Maybe his trip was stressful and he needed a few days to get his head together. Maybe he met someone else. Maybe during the time away he realized this relationship wouldn’t work. You won’t ever know for sure so stop wasting energy trying to figure it all out. Either way, there’s nothing more you could have done and you didn’t necessarily do anything to cause this, it just is what it is.
The big takeaway here is where you put your time and energy. Stop feeding into the worry. If you’re going to spend energy on anything, spend it on studying the pattern of your worrying itself. Journal about what you are really afraid of here – it’s a technique that is tremendously powerful in getting you out of the endless (and destructive) worrying cycle, but you’ll only recognize how valuable it is when you actually do it yourself.
So… I hope you do it. You’ll be amazed at how much easier relationships get when you clear up your bad mental habits instead of participating in them.
Hope it helps,