a girl shows absolutely no signs of jealousy or concern about me (speaking from my own experience here – really, this would apply to men and women).
In my own dating life, every time that a girl has shown no sign of jealousy and seemed totally unconcerned with what I was doing at all times, it’s been because she was dating at least one other guy at the time. So this would be a definite context where I would say some signs of jealousy are a good sign from the person I’m seeing (granted, I’m talking about the beginning of a relationship with someone here).
In the end, life forces all of us to make peace with our jealousy issues…
What I ultimately needed to realize was that controlling someone else is an illusion. You can’t monitor another person 24/7 and if keeping them interested in you means having to put in a ton of energy, well… it’s not going to last. Sooner or later, you’ll run out of energy and they’ll run off with someone else.
Whether you’re a jealous man or a jealous woman, eventually we realize that no amount of jealousy will ever help a situation. Whether you’re only a tiny bit jealous or the most jealous person in the world, sooner or later you’ll see that jealousy is just an energy-suck. It serves no one and only causes problems.
In relationships, all we really have is our day-to-day moments with the other person. If we choose to focus on good, positive and fun things, our relationship will take on that energy. If we choose to focus on being judgmental, hostile, or controlling towards our partner, our relationship will quickly take on a very bad vibe.
The only power we really have in a relationship is to aim for things to be as good as possible: being happy when the situation is good, and compassionate when the situation is bad.
Hope that helps,