Ask a Guy: How Can I Make My Relationship Last? post image

Ask a Guy: How Can I Make My Relationship Last?

… (Previous page – Ask a Guy: How Can I Make My Relationship Last?) Here are questions to ask yourself to determine your foundation as a woman:

  • Are you already emotionally fulfilled?
  • Are you already happy with yourself?
  • Do you already love yourself?
  • Do you already love your life?
  • Do you already feel whole and complete?

Filling the void is not the same as being full and sharing your best. A woman can get into trouble and end up with a string of failed relationships because she doesn’t recognize the fact that she has an emotional void within herself, a hole that she tries to fill with a relationship. And when she has that kind of a feeling, when she wants the relationship to be what completes her or makes her happy or gives her that missing piece, when she wants that, she’s completely focusing on her desires, her wishes, her wants, her dreams, her this, her that.

Relationships don’t work like that; it’s not about one person catering to the other’s every whim and wish.

When a woman is trying to fill a void, she’s coming from a place of neediness, I need you to fill in my emotional hole or I’ll be miserable. She’s not self-sufficient, she’s not confident, she’s not capable of being happy without a man.

Another thing to consider is how emotionally guarded you are.

  • Do you have huge walls up?
  • Are you carrying anger, bitterness, or resentment for things that happened to you in the past or bad experiences you’ve had with men?
  • Do you allow him to know you, to understand you, and to see you with your guard down?
  • Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable around him?
  • Do you allow yourself to have a genuine connection, or do you only let him see the parts that you feel safe exposing to him?

If you have walls or emotional blocks that prevent you from letting him in, from letting him feel connected to you, from letting him understand you on a deep level, how do expect to have a future?

Connection, trust, and understanding are essential relationship ingredients. If something is missing, everything will be thrown off.

A man’s ideal woman is a woman who he can make happy, who he can please, who is going to be satisfied with him, who he can fill with love.

When a man doesn’t feel like he can do this, he will quickly shut down. And if it goes on for too long, he will look elsewhere for a woman he can make happy, a woman he can please, a woman he can give to who is in a position to happily receive and give to him as well.

MORE: 5 Things Every Man Wants in a Woman

Relationships do take a sustained effort, but putting in the effort is an afterthought for both you and your man when you’re both fulfilled and happy with your life in general.  Great relationships are effortless and automatic when you’re happy and fulfilled and choose your partner wisely.

Hope it helps,

eric charles

Written by Eric Charles

I'm Eric Charles, the co-founder and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing articles to help people free themselves from suffering and have clarity in their love life. I have a degree in Psychology and I've dedicated the last 20 years of my life to learning everything I can about human psychology and sharing what gets people out of struggling with life and into having the life they really want. If you want to contact me, feel free to reach out on Facebook or Twitter.

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Birgit Dugan

This is probably the most valuable article I have read so far. Thank you!

Reply April 5, 2016, 10:30 am


Oh wow. “A man’s ideal woman is a woman who he can make happy, who he can please, who is going to be satisfied with him, who he can fill with love.” I felt goosebumps when I read this. So true and beautifully said, and, sadly, so far from many of us are taught… :(

It reminded me of what my guy said, when I (flirtatiously, I hope, and not in a needy way) asked him what he likes about me best. His answer, without skipping a beat, was: “that you let yourself be protected; that you let me take care of you and try to make you smile”. I melted, and I feel all gushy and melty as I type this…

Ladies: it’s true! :) (And now I’m going to re-read the post to make sure I got it all–I’m faaaaar from knowing it all, and I still have a ton to learn).

Reply November 17, 2015, 2:48 am


“When someone sucks the life out of their relationship, they end up resenting their partner for not giving them the same “juice” that they used to get from them. They become addicted to taking, and when the well runs dry, they resent their partner and don’t want to give anything.”

OMG. This is what happened w/ the ex-bf. Describes him to a T. And I didn’t recognize it at the time, but he did start resenting me at the end because I wasn’t giving him the same juice as in the beginning (apparently). So interesting….

Reply October 15, 2013, 8:15 am


Eric, You should watch Don Jon haha I think you might like it.

Reply October 6, 2013, 5:56 pm

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