I dated a guy for seven months, on and off, never official although we both claimed to be monogamous. He kept saying he needed to get his life sorted out and would only be around when he needed me.
Eventually I gave up and dumped him which blew up into a huge fight where I said plenty that I regret now. I found out he was dating another girl while we were “together” (he lied). A month later now, he sends me text messages like “I wish you weren’t crazy :(“. I made a mistake. I want him back.
But why is he sending me these messages if he seriously thinks I am crazy, when HE is the one who CHEATED and LIED? Does he just want me to beg?
There’s a funny thing about manipulation.
You can only manipulate someone if they either:
a) Have a pain or fear inside that they want to avoid.
b) They have a huge, blinding hunger for something and will do anything to get it.
Right now, you’re feeling lonely. You’re feeling sad and you are regretting some of the things you said and did.
There is nothing wrong with feeling regret for a little while. It’s good and healthy to see the things that you would have done differently if you had another chance. That’s what learning, growth and maturity require. (People who say they have no regrets are full of crap.)
What is done is done. Don’t let your regret turn into guilt, sadness or shame. Don’t let that be a pain point.
There is nothing wrong with you feeling lonely or missing him. You spent a lot of time with him and had good memories. You wish you could have that feeling back.
But just because you feel regret and loneliness does not mean you should get back together with him, nor does it necessarily mean that breaking it off was a bad move. When you were in the situation, you knew in your heart that you were settling. You knew you were getting less than what you know you’re worth.
It’s your guilt, sadness and loneliness that is clouding that fact. You are not seeing that you were settling and you are second-guessing and blaming yourself.