About the Author, Eric Charles

I'm Eric Charles, the co-founder and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing articles to help people free themselves from suffering and have clarity in their love life. I have a degree in Psychology and I've dedicated the last 20 years of my life to learning everything I can about human psychology and sharing what gets people out of struggling with life and into having the life they really want. If you want to contact me, feel free to reach out on Facebook or Twitter.

Articles by Eric Charles


Ask a Guy: Why Is He With Me? post image

“I’ve been with my boyfriend for over two years.  He says he loves me and is happy, but I secretly feel like he’s out of my league and that he could date other girls that are much prettier than me.  Even his ex-girlfriend is prettier than me.

Why is he with me?  It’s not that he’s done anything wrong or given me a reason to worry, but I just secretly fear that one day some other girl will come along (who’s prettier, skinnier and sexier than me) and he’ll leave me out of the blue.

Again, he says he’s happy and he loves me, so I guess I just want to understand why does he like me and why is he in love with me?”

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Ask a Guy: My Boyfriend Gained a Lot of Weight post image

My boyfriend of 5 months has become overweight due to alcohol and stuff. He used to be a fitness freak and had 6 packs before, but he is not able to hit the gym regularly because he is studying abroad and working.

He’s extremely upset about the weight he gained and not talking to me properly, saying that he’s feeling empty.

We’re in a long distance relationship, I don’t know what to say. Please tell me what to do. I love him truly and it doesn’t matter to me if he’s fat or not.

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Ask A Guy: My Boyfriend Watches Porn post image

What’s the deal with guys and porn?  My boyfriend and I have been together for a year.

I get that guys watch porn I guess, I will never understand it, but I’ve grown to accept it.

But how much is too much? Is there such a thing? I’m not going to lie, it does make me uncomfortable.

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Ask a Guy: Can I Turn Things Around After Acting Insecure and Needy? post image

If you’ve completely screwed things up by being needy, insecure, etc, and given everything so the guy doesn’t feel the need to commit to you anymore, is there any hope in hell of changing things around, considering the renewed attitude I received thanks to you guys?

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A Guy’s Take: Men Who Are “Commitment-phobes” post image

I’ve had a few discussions with women about “commitment-phobic men” recently.  That is, men who have a “fear of commitment” when it comes to relationships.

The typical scenario where a woman will label a guy a “commitment phobe” is when he’s been seeing a girl for a while – they spend the majority of their time together, they eat together, they sleep together and so forth….but he won’t commit in an official sense. That’s usually when they’ll come to me looking for answers.

Well, let’s get into this…

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Ask a Guy: How Can I Find Out If He’s Seeing Other People? post image

I met this guy on a night out with friends and we’ve been texting pretty much all day every day for a month. He often texts me first and we seem to really get along well and like him a lot. The thing I need help with is I have no idea if he’s maybe talking to and/or seeing other girls. I personally am not interested in other boys, and while at the moment I’m still happy with seeing how things go, I just want to know how he feels it’s going with us.

I suppose I’m worried that asking him this will make me seem rather pushy when really all I want is to not feel so unsure about the entire thing. Any advice?

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Ask a Guy: He Said He Loved Me, But Seems to Be Losing Interest post image

I have been dating this guy for roughly 8 months. Things started out amazing, getting to know each other turned into mutual interest and before long he asked me to be his girlfriend. He even dropped the ‘I Love You’ bomb on me, which was fine because the feeling was mutual. I never invested myself in a relationship 100% before him, but he managed to get me mentally, emotionally, and physically. With all that being said, I understand that a woman should not put too much out there or be too available in the beginning. I did that and lived by that in the past … Hell, I got him by doing that.

Lately, however, I’ve found myself living around him, being super available and maybe even a little needy. I’ve also noticed a change in the way he is around me. He seems to slowly be losing interest. He makes time for me, but I don’t feel like it’s enough and things just feel different.

My question: When you are in a relationship with someone, how do you ensure that he wont lose interest? He says he loves me and wants to have a future but sometimes I feel like his actions aren’t matching his words. Am I reading too much into this? What’s going on?
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Ask A Guy: He Said He’s “Not Good Enough For Me” post image

I’ve been seeing this guy for 6 months and we decided to officially become a couple after about a month of dating.  Lately he’s been withdrawn and doesn’t give me nearly any attention.  When we’re together we sleep together, but recently he became really emotional (like he was going to cry) and was telling me that “I deserve better than him” and that “he’s not good enough for me.”  What does my boyfriend really mean when he says that?

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Ask A Guy: Does He Like Me Just For My Looks? post image

I went out with a guy that I dated once for a bit, but he didn’t want to be my boyfriend officially and we stopped talking for a while.  I saw him the other night and I happened to be all made-up and looking hot.

His eyes widened and he was speechless – then all of a sudden he started talking about becoming my boyfriend again.  I was shocked, but I’ve wanted to be a couple with him for a while.  I need to know though:  Does he only want to be my boyfriend because I looked hot that night?  Does he just want to be a couple because of my looks?

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Ask a Guy: He Hasn’t Texted Me Two Days, What Did I Do? post image

I’ve been seeing this guy for the past month. He’s been very sweet and I really like him.  He lives over an hour away, works during the week and hunts on the weekends, so seeing him regularly has been difficult.

At times he would text me in the mornings, but then he gets busy. Eventually, he started going days without texting unless I send him a text first.

He’s talked about us doing things together in the future.  He’s even said nice things about me to his mom.  But now it’s been two days without a response to my last text – did I do something wrong?  Should I send him another text?

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Ask A Guy: How Do I Reconnect With Him After Cutting Off Contact? post image

My boyfriend and I had a good relationship, but mutually agreed that a long distance relationship was not for us. Just before he moved to another state, I told him that it would be easier for me emotionally if I cut off contact with him completely. He said he didn’t want to but ultimately he agreed to it…

It’s been three weeks and I miss him. I want to reconnect with him, but I don’t know how to re-establish contact with him after telling him that I wanted to cut off all contact. Any advice?

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Ask a Guy: When a Guy Withdraws After Sex post image

I’ve been dating a guy who I have known for a while for a month. The dates have all been amazing, we have so many core values, beliefs, and lifestyle aspects in common.

However, the part where we have sex and he withdraws happened.  I’ve been totally cool about it, giving him all the space in the world, no calls, texts, emails. My Facebook page (which I know he looks at) makes it clear I’ve been out with friends, at events, and that good things are happening at work.

My questions are: Is ANY contact okay during this withdrawal, or is all contact off limits for a while (the “Rules” say it is…)? How long do I give the withdraw period before realizing he doesn’t want to take things further? Is there anything a girl can do, apart from knowing that the guy would be crazy to not want her and continue to have an awesome life?  And is there any other form of encouragement we can provide that lets him know we are interested in him, but not sitting around helplessly?

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Ask a Guy: He Broke Up With Me Because He “Loves Me Too Much”? post image

I have been seeing this guy for awhile now. He told me  that he loves me twice and I told him I loved him as well.

However, he started to back off a bit and out of the blue I got an email saying he is scared because he fell in love with me and has been acting distant in an attempt to push me away because he’s getting “too emotionally attached.”

I am apparently too addictive and the relationship is complicating his life and making it difficult. I am lost on this one. Should I just forget him? How can a guy fall in and out of love like that?

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Ask A Guy: He Said He “Can’t Make Me Happy,” What Does That Mean? post image

When my boyfriend and I broke up, he gave the reason that he’s not sure he can make me happy, because he’s not happy and he doesn’t want to bring that into the relationship if he can’t make the girl as happy as he is.

What does this all mean?  What do you think he’s going through and how can I help him get through this phase?

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Ask a Guy: My Boyfriend Flirts With Other Women post image

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and  I do not understand why he won’t stop flirting with other girls. I give him everything that he needs sexually, emotionally, physically and mentally, but still he flirts with other girls and has sexy conversations with them.  He never meets up with them, though.

I know he loves me because he told me first and he is a genuine person, but I hate feeling like I’m sharing him.  What should I do?

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Ask a Guy: Am I Being Paranoid? post image

I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months and aside from a few ups and downs, we have a happy relationship. However, there is one unresolved issue which has caused a lot of fights. He has this close girl friend who he used to have a crush on, but then decided was better off as a friend after getting to know her. In the beginning of our relationship, he would talk a lot about her and how “cute” she is  but he stopped when he realized I was getting jealous.

Now the main problem. I was using his laptop and saw she had written to him on Skype and couldn’t help but check. Their previous conversation showed up with phrases like “love you” from her and “miss you so much” from him.  I was shocked but could not really say anything about it.

I know saying those kinds of things with friends isn’t such a big deal, but my boyfriend is not the kind of person who says I miss you easily. I know that I can get jealous easily which is why I wanted a second opinion.  Do I react? If so, what do I say? Will he not be able to trust me if I say something?

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Ask a Guy: How Do I Remain a Mystery? post image

I know that guys view life like a game. Their mind is very stimulated and if they beat the game at level 1 and discover all the hidden gems then they won’t be interested in the game anymore, they’ll move on to the next.

So how do you keep mystery when you are dating someone? When he asks questions about your life do you tell him everything? And when he asks about your plans are you descriptive ? How can you balance between being mysterious yet captivating?

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Ask a Guy: Boyfriend Caught Me Snooping, Can I Regain His Trust? post image

I developed an habit of snooping around in my relationship of almost two years and I finally got caught snooping through his phone the the other night (up until this point he didn’t know how I knew things that I called him out on).

Is there anything I can do for damage control? Do men get over such behavior? Help! [continue reading…]

How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone With A Guy (And Have Him Chasing You) post image

So you’ve got a guy you’re friends with and somewhere along the line you develop feelings for him. Unfortunately, he only sees you as a friend.

Tough situation. It happens to guys and it happens to girls and oftentimes, it can cause more heartbreak than an actual breakup.

Why?

Well maybe one (or all) of these scenarios apply to your situation. You get along better with him than anyone else. You “get” each other. He’s the only guy that you’ve ever felt truly understands you and with whom you can truly be yourself. He’s cute, he’s funny, and when he’s around you, he completely let’s his guard down.  You get to see him as the man he truly is – an unguarded version of himself that he hides from the world and only seems to let you see.

You trust each other.  You might even say that you love each other. And you love every little thing about him… you can talk for hours or even just be with each other in silence… and you know exactly what the other person is thinking.

So why, in the midst of this seemingly perfect situation, aren’t you any more than friends?  Or worse, why (when you told him how you felt about him) does he say, “I really love you. You’re the most important girl in the world to me and I’ll always be there for you but I can’t be in a relationship with you – we need to just be friends.”

Well, I’ll give you a few reasons and I’ll also give you the ultimate pull-no-punches guide to getting out of the friend zone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldzREYk3_Vg


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Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You” Quiz right now and find out once and for all if he likes you...

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Ask a Guy: He Dumped Me But I Want Him Back post image

My boyfriend dumped me and says that he wants to stay single forever and wants to give up everything we had together. He said it’s his choice and told me not to bring it up again. I asked if we could still be good friends and he said yes. I asked him if he still loved me but he went offline.

I don’t know what to do because I really want him back. Is there a way to get him to give it a second chance? I have really strong feelings for him and just wish we could start over and make it work.

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Ask a Guy: How Can I Express What I Need Without Sounding Needy? post image

My boyfriend and I are currently in a long distance relationship and my issue, whether we are together or apart, is that I don’t know how to express what I need from him in a way that doesn’t come across as being needy. For example, I need more contact than he is giving me, like a regular phone call once a week and a few more texts than he sends.

His work and my work make it difficult but it is not impossible. How do I tell him that without contact the connection between us fades for me and makes me feel unloved even though in reality I know he loves me very much? I just want to be able to tell him what I want without sounding needy. Is this possible? 

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Decoding Male Behavior: Why Do Men Lie? post image

It’s time to have a frank discussion about lying and deceit. I see a lot of fears floating around in the the dating world and it can be disheartening.

In order to have a truly fulfilling relationship (or even start a healthy relationship) with a great guy, you need to come from a place of strength, confidence, and fulfillment.

Whenever a relationship goes sour (or fails to launch), it’s almost always caused by some tiny fear, doubt, worry or insecurity that grows and festers until you feel overwhelmed by the whole ordeal.

And what happens?  Your fears and worries compel you to confirm whether they’re real or imaginary.  You stop enjoying the relationship for what it is and start craving validation and confirmation that it’s “the real deal.”

And there’s only one thing that manifests from that place… neediness.

QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Destroying Your Love Life?

These days, people are quick to  throw the concept of neediness around without actually looking at what it is. I’ve had some of my female readers complain that the term neediness makes it sound like I’m framing women as weak, fragile, insecure creatures that just cling to men (and stress them out).

Nothing could be further from the truth.  I think women bring a tremendous strength and power to the table in relationships… when they have access to it and are free of their own fears.

Men and women have fears. Those fears are greater now more than ever really since there’s an entire industry devoted to making sure men and women are wrought with insecurities so they buy products (sowing in and agitating tiny insecurities is the bread and butter of the marketing world).

A major fear is being lied to deceived which brings me to the main question of this article: Why do men lie?

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Ask a Guy: Why Is It Always the Girl’s Fault? post image

I have noticed that you guys (and most dating advice sites, actually) focus a lot on things women do, but do you send men emails to help them with things? It just seems like women are somehow always the problem. It should go both ways to help a relationship, shouldn’t it?

Why is it that women are the ones who have to work on making the relationship better?  [continue reading…]

Ask a Guy:  He Doesn’t Want a Relationship, Should I Just Walk Away? post image

I’ve had a “casual” thing going with a guy for 6 months, mostly sexual. Two months ago, I told him I couldn’t do the casual thing anymore and since then things have been heading downhill fast. Today was my birthday and he didn’t even wish me a happy birthday!

I don’t want this anymore but I’m getting mixed advice from people. Some tell me that I should text him and tell him that I don’t want to do it anymore and others tell me that I should just stop texting and just ignore him if he reaches out, which I find particularly cruel.

What should I do?

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Ask a Guy: Did I Lose My Chance With This Guy? post image

There was a guy who seemed interested in me, but at the time I was pursuing another guy. Things have changed and I’m interested in this guy now, but a mutual friend told me that I “missed my chance and he’s moved on.”

He seemed like he liked me before and I think he might now, but I can’t tell if he’s into me or one of the other girls that he hangs out with. How can I tell if I still have a chance with him? How do I know if he still likes me?
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Ask A Guy:  Why Do I Attract the Guys I Don’t Like and Not the Ones I Do? post image

Meeting guys and having guys interested in me is not a problem.  I don’t want to sound arrogant, but I’m in good shape and everyone tells me how pretty I am so I don’t doubt my physical attractiveness.

Here’s the thing: There is a guy I see a lot (he’s a friend of a friend) and I’ve developed a crush on him. I was trying to find out if he was into me and a friend of mine quoted him saying that I was a “cool girl, but not his type”.

I really like this guy – I want to understand why he doesn’t like me and if there’s anything I can do to get him to like me and see me as a romantic interest.

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Ask A Guy: My Boyfriend Doesn’t Believe I Lost My Virginity to Him post image

I’ve been dating this guy for about a month and a half now, and I ended up losing my virginity to him.

We’ve had sex twice now, and the going’s been good, but he’s under the impression that he wasn’t my first even though I told him well otherwise, and he was shocked when I’d originally told him I was still a virgin.

I’m 25 years old (shocking in itself, but I feel his shock had less to do with my age and more to do with my looks), and I’m no idiot about sex– very well-read and informed girl here!– but I was definitely a stranger to it before him, which he thinks is a lie.

It’s really bothering me that he refuses to believe me and has even said he doesn’t know what he can trust about me, especially with the virginity.  I don’t think he would have cared whatsoever if I wasn’t a virgin, but he really was my first! Why can’t he just believe me?

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Ask a Guy: When a Guy Doesn’t Text Back… post image

Ok, I am confused…I thought guys were totally into the text versus actually talking on the phone. But there is one guy who I am interested in who seems to not fit that mold. Help! He takes hours to answer a text message when we all KNOW that our phones are glued to our face. I don’t understand…we will be texting back and forth for a few, then nothing…air silence! I told him it bothers me but he keeps doing it!

What is the deal? I am so OVER the four hour response time…especially when we don’t talk over any other media.

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Ask a Guy:  Is Being Too Direct A Bad Thing? post image

I’ve been talking to a guy for a little over a month but we have not officially met up (I actually met him about 5 years ago through a friend but we were seeing other people at the time).  We have talked about getting together, but have yet to actually set a date.

Our main form of communication is via text message, and we’re skirting on the border of friends and more than friends. About 2 weeks ago, I straight up asked the guy I’ve been talking to/flirting with if he just wanted to sleep with me. I’ve noticed that any time I’m very direct, his answers are kind of vague.

I’m guessing he is unsure of what he wants but I’m just wondering if being direct is a bad thing? Don’t men usually think women are overly complicated?

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Ask a Guy: Is My Boyfriend Getting Bored Of Me? post image

I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year now, and I love him so much. I think our relationship is really great and he is everything that I could ever ask for. We have almost everything in common and I know he loves me too.

I’ve always known that he’s not the romantic type but in the beginning of the relationship, he always used to say sweet things at unexpected times to give me butterflies, he used to take me out to romantic dinners, etc.

I feel like he’s just not putting as much of an effort anymore into being romantic. I feel like he’s so comfortable with me (which I obviously like), but once in a while it would be nice to feel like he still is trying to reel me in.

 I’ve tried everything to keep our relationship exciting.  Do you think he’s getting bored?

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