Ask a Guy: What Does It Mean to Poke Someone on Facebook? post image

Ask a Guy: What Does It Mean to Poke Someone on Facebook?


I live in a college dorm and have added all sorts of people from my dorm and classes.

This afternoon, this really cute guy from one of my classes poked me on Facebook. We’ve never talked before, although I do recognize him from class.

What does it mean when a guy pokes you on Facebook? Does he like me? How should I respond?

In this case, I would say he does.

I have a few general rules when it comes to dating advice for women determining if a guy is interested or not (or when a girl asks, “does he like me” in general).

1) Did they need to do it? Generally speaking, if a guy initiates some form of contact with you that he didn’t need to, then he’s most likely interested and this is his approach to get his foot in the door.

So if he poked you, yes, he’s trying to get your attention – he’s interested in you.

2) Did you notice him beforehand? In this case, yes.

Oftentimes, we notice people in the environment that are noticing us. It’s a sort of subconscious survival mechanism, I guess. But chances are if you noticed him in the environment, he was checking you out and that’s another one of those signs that he’s interested in you.

Now, in terms of what you say as a response, you really could do or say anything just about. He’d be happy that you responded.

You could just start talking to him in class – if he’s poking you on Facebook, he’s not going to have a problem with that.

You might think that sounds weird to start talking with someone you’ve never spoken to in real life, but it’s only weird if you make it weird. If you just talk to him like it’s a normal thing, like you’re already comfortable with each other, it will feel totally comfortable to both of you.

Of course, the “flirting tips for shy girls” approach to handling this would be to send him a casual message on Facebook and just talk about the common ground you have: class. If you just strike up a little open-ended conversation with him, he’ll probably end up asking you out after a message or two.

Either way, he’s interested so if you want it, go for it.

Hope it helps,

- eric charles

{ 17 comments… add one }

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Anno

Hi in regards to poking!
I noticed that my very committed boyfriend (i say this because he has no issues showing me off or talking about marriage children etc) poked a girl on fb! I noticed that they aren’t friends anymore on fb i know he chatted with her too! Should i be concerned? I also should point out he deleted alot of his friends who are girls for me as i was and still am an insecure person!

Reply April 16, 2014, 8:20 pm

Kendra

I have this concern too. He’s poked so many girls over 50 times each and I got like 5. I’ve always seen pokes as being flirtaceous, but maybe there just poke wars?

Reply November 18, 2014, 4:19 pm

Masho

hey! I had a class fellow two years ago who according to my friends used to notice me but i didnt care back then but now he just poked me on facebook and i being really egoistic poked him back instead of sending a friends request was that right? and now he keeps on poking back n we are just doing this poking since the last four days what does that mean? is poking back ok or should i ignore the pokes until he sends any messege?

Reply November 23, 2012, 12:40 pm

pilot

someone poked me on facebook ! what dose mean poked ,, tar mane ki ?

Reply June 4, 2012, 4:15 pm

naomigabygirl

Dear scott I like this guy a lot we chat on facebook almost the whole day nd says nice things about me 2 his friends on facebook but when we come 2 class we almost ignore each other and the times we talk he’s just so nice nd when we bump into each other he. Looks at me with those “friendly eyes”does it mean he likes me?

Reply November 10, 2011, 12:29 am

Scarlett

This is exactly what happened with me and my boyfriend in the beginning, he would talk to me all night and look at me in class but wouldn’t ever actually speak to me. Pretty soon, however, he lost his shyness and we started to become really close both on facebook and in college, and the rest is history :) So if anyone is reading this with the same problem, don’t worry cos I panicked at first too…all in good time, people. ~ SB

Reply March 10, 2012, 5:08 am

caroline

hi, there is a guy who i knew about a year ago and i knew him from church’s activity..last friday he asked me if i would like to go out with him for a church activity in out of town, a bit further from our city. he is cute, but i never liked him before because he is so talkative and i was in love with one of his best friend, but things didn’t work out for me and now his best friend had already a girlfriend. . I’m afraid his best friend told this guy about what happened between me and his best friend. Do you think he (the guy i like) is interested in me or not? he said he will contact me later and is looking forward to go out with me…

Reply October 25, 2011, 10:01 am

nash babiieee!

i am so confused. there is this other guy in my class
im not sure whether he likes me or not.. he jus came to ma xool at the start of the year and since he came, whenever he sees me, he says hie and i love yuh, he is always looking at me when we hve a same class (mst of our classes are the same) but we don’t spent much time together. we dnt sit together at recess ad lunch but whenever he sees me even outside he calls my name juss to say hie and i luv yuh. sometimes he goes to tlk to his friends inclass after he says hie to me,i feel like they talk bout me cz they wil b lookin at me, i dnt know whether they wil b tlkin good bout me or bad bout me. one of his friends once told me that he likes me and i shud go ask him out (but i’m the shy kind), i dnt know whether he likes me or not

does he like me or not?
he sometimes go tlk to his friends after he says i luv yuh to me, is he doing it to show his friends that i like him?
is he tryin to prove something?
does he like me but cant ask me out?

Reply May 9, 2011, 5:14 am

thisgirl

omg this guy is walking up to u every day and saying hi, i love you. Girl, he LOVES YOU!!!!!!!!! he even says it to you every day! do something already!

Reply April 1, 2013, 1:54 am

mariza

my ex poke me on fb ? he is so dumb that doesnt mean anything boy are fuckin stupid lol

Reply March 31, 2011, 12:42 pm

Danithza

yes very true, i have done that too. doesnt mean that i was trying to get his attention but it was by accident. he didnt do anything in respond so its no big deal now

Reply February 11, 2011, 2:29 pm

kaitlin

@scott I have the accidental poking problem too, it’s not that the phone is doing it on it’s own, but if your on someone’s page & tried to click something near the poke button…well, I think you know what can happen.

Reply January 27, 2011, 8:22 pm

Scott

To: Jasmine, Not many people have problems with there cell phone that they go around poking people on Facebook, you should send your phone back, there seems to be a rare tech issue with it. I’ve heard of accident forwarding, double messaging, lag sending/retrieval time, but never click on this random girls page coordinates most likely(0,0), then auto click coords approx( -2/10,8/10) portrait/(-8/10,8/10) Landscape. Yes, I don’t expect that to make sense to you unless you have a degree in computer science or something affiliated with Web Multimedia Design. My point, this guy is totally checking you out!!!

Reply November 14, 2010, 7:25 pm

Alexa

I met this guy about 7 months ago, one day one of my friends had his phone and he had hers so she wanted to text me . The next day he texted me from his phone. We would talk 24/7 and one day he asked who i liked and i said him, but lets not make anything akward between us. And a few weeks later he said he liked me and i stayed cool about like oh really? and that week we would say goodnight with hearts to eachother and text eachother and be like i miss you!..Now he calls me “his girlfriend” and puts his arm around me and when i see him in the halls he would smile and come straight towards me and talk to me. I get nervous talking to him in person because it feels kinda akward. When i see him coming my way i pretend i dont see him and i talk to my friends and he always comes up to me anyways, should i keep doing that? should i go up to him sometimes? and he was texting me a week ago and now it suddenly stopped and i texted him but no reply..am i an option to him?? whats his deal?

Reply May 22, 2010, 3:08 pm

Eric Charles

@Jenni P – Thank you, you are a sweetheart. And to answer your question: In the context you describe, yes, I think he is trying to stay on your radar.

Reply May 12, 2010, 8:11 pm

Jasmine

What if he poked you on accident? I always accidentally poke people with my touch screen cell phone. If I were you I wouldn’t even acknowledge it. That’s a really dumb way to get a girls attention anyway. Why didn’t he just talk to you in class? This guy might be completely socially retarded and be the worst date ever. Who cares if he poked you on facebook?

Reply May 12, 2010, 11:21 am

Jenni P.

Hi Eric-

Great articles!

So with regards to facebook poking being a sign of someone having intrest in you, would that apply to past flames as well? I was dating a guy for a few months, and he pulled a houdini on me. I did not give chase- no phone calls, texts, or hunting him down demanding a reason why, rather I just let him go. It’s been a little over a month. I haven’t contacted him, but we ran into each other on the street a few weeks ago, and the other week he saw me out with another guy (funny because I didn’t notice him but he texted me to tell me he noticed me)He’s been leaving comments or posting things on my facebook recently. Is he trying to stay on my radar or something?

Reply May 6, 2010, 12:41 pm

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