Is he busy or just not interested?

Hi Liz.

Men like this shouldn’t even be dating! If they’re so darn busy and can’t even follow up with a simple text then honestly how much more frustrated do you think you would be when he continually does it by bailing time and time again.

Just because you get along doesn’t mean you’re compatible in the way YOU need to be compatible with a man. If you want a non-existent partner then continue to wait by the phone, but if you want a full-time partner then don’t because that’s the man who will call and take you out on a regular on consistent basis. Choice is yours.

He isn’t making you a priority. I dont care how busy a man is, he will find time to see you and communicate if he is truly interested.

This man is just fitting in dating, as he can. My guess is that he likely texted a few other women, as well as you, to try to get a date. It’s called e-tethering. Look it up and read about it.

Men will reach out at their convenience, and if you are free to see them OR just text they will do it. Otherwise, you are not top of mind or priority.

Men love company of women. But, unless you are ‘the one’ to him, he isnt going to put in all that much effort to see you.

It sounds like what this man is doing.

I also agree with Lane. If you have very little time (due to kids) and he is limited… there isn’t much hope or compatibility here. If this is any indication.. even if he did decide to date you – you will end up frustratred and always wanting more from him. We see that here all the time….

I wouldn’t invest too much energy/emotion into this one.

Oh I just looked up e-tethering btw. It seems to be when I guy texts you every now and again to keep you on the back burner… As a back up plan so to speak but never really makes any real plans.

I’m fairly certain this isn’t what this guy is doing on the basis I hadn’t heard from him for over a year. Also he didn’t have my number and I didn’t have his. He actually sought me out on linked-in and then I gave him my number last week. Also he doesn’t really do any texting… This is the whole problem haha! He’s just totally illusive!

Hi Liz, the answer to “’m interested in your comment that he isn’t going to put that much effort in unless I am ‘the one’ to him. Do you think guys really know ‘the one’ after just a few dates?…is YES!

For instance I met my (now ex) husband at a party and conversed with him for no more than 10 minutes before my then BF pulled me away. Within that brief meeting he had developed a secret crush and the moment I broke up my BF a few months later, and he found out, he immediately started the pursuit! At the time I needed a “time out” and wanted to enjoy being single for awhile, yet he kept pursuing me for a few more months before I agreed to date him—he dropped the “I love you bomb” barely 1 months later!

He proposed within the 5th, I turned him down and finally married him 2.5 years later…need to make sure ya know! Additionally, I was engaged two times before with both proposing before the 6th month mark. Believe it or not but men fall in love much faster than woman do and if “you’re the one” you will know it very soon because they will lock you down to make sure another man doesn’t steal you away.

im sorry but i must disagree. The operative word is ‘ex’. Your ex’s obviously thought you were ‘the one’ but you are no longer with any of them. So obviously you weren’t and they were mistaken.

There is a difference between people getting carried away and falling for someone believing they are the one when actually they aren’t, and taking time to get to know someone properly in a platonic and romantic way and then knowing for certain they are the one.

I’m afraid to say I don’t believe this happens in a whirlwind of romance like many american movies would have us believe, and this is sadly why so many relationships fail.

Many men (and women) get easily caught up in the romance and the excitement but I would suggest this is not a good basis to a long term relationship. It has to be based on friendship, companionship and compatibility as well as a deep emotional bond -love. The romantic ‘love’ a person feels at the start of a relationship will fade, and so if you do not have those other things as a foundation, the relationship won’t work.

This is something I have only recently come to understand as I have always ended up with the men who have pursued me but I have realised over time we didn’t really have that foundation. When you find someone who,even after the initial excitement and head over heels feeling has gone, you still have a deep emotional bond and connection with, then they are ‘the one’. This is not something anyone can know so soon.

So please Lane, do not get fooled into thinking that because a guy tells you you are the one (and even believes that himself) so early on that you are.

I think we had better just agree to disagree. I’m not mistaken any more than you are. These are my beliefs after many years of experience as are yours. I think your definition of ‘the one’ differs greatly from mine, but ultimately neither of us really seem to be in a position to provide expert advice in any event.