Don't know how to react.

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  • #636137 Reply


    I agree with the others that we are banging our head on a wall. The fact you could still want this guy to call after our 7 pages of explanation shows you aren’t learning a thing.

    He’ll be back, when he’s bored or lonely, or wants casual sex. Or just for an ego stroke. And you will jump into his arms, drop any shred of self respect you have left, and the cycle will repeat. He will know he can treat you like trash, because you accept it.

    That makes me sad, but it mostly makes me angry. You have to want to be helped, to make progress. Unfortunately this is not a case of someone who really wants help, they want a bandaid, and that is backwards progress. Nuff said.

    #636174 Reply


    Wow great commentary by Phillygirl. I wish I read that wisdom several weeks back it would’ve stopped me from making the stupid decision that I did.

    Deena the problem is that you have a lot of time on your hands. And before you get upset, hear me out. I was like you a little less than a month ago, jobless and heartbroken. All I did was mope, obsess, overthink the situation because the guy I liked went ghost on me too. Looking back now I honestly did have too much time on my hands because I didn’t have a job so of course my head would wander there all day! I have a job now and while I still think about him sometimes it’s not as bad as it was, it will empower you, socialize and get you to a healthier mindset because you have something more productive to do with your time.

    A job, any kind of job, will help you. It’s not healthy to be alone and be in your head all the time that’s why you feel like this.

    #636177 Reply


    Yeah….nice feedback phillygirl! Even if it wasn’t heard by the OP, I’m sure many others reading this forum found it helpful.

    Deena…a lot of what phillygirl stated reminded me a bit of the book “Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback Girl”…which is a great book. I’d recommend it.

    #638155 Reply


    Hi Deena – thought of you today- hope you’re well Xoxo

    #638218 Reply


    Hi Dee and everyone else. I have been hanging in there. I am still sad but not quite as “oh poor me” as I was.

    I never heard from him again. I did end up texting him that I don’t know what happened but I am disappointed he chose to disappear instead of talking to me. He didn’t respond but I expected that to happen. I figured he was checked out by that time anyway. But my gut just kept nagging at me to say something.

    Does a part of me still wish he would reach out? Of course, I really did care about him even though we weren’t “official.” But I am not stopping my life over him or holding my breath.

    Thank you all for your help, including Miss L! ; )

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