Bf just ghosted, need friendly support


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  • #397503 Reply

    Ashley

    my boyfriend & I just broke up only he didn’t even break up with me. he is ignoring me, which means we’re done. he’s done this before. we’ve known each other for over 10 years, he’s always been in love with me, since I was 14 he’s always said he wants to marry me, have kids etc. but obviously there is something wrong with him that he does this to ALL women. he gets them into him, then he leaves them very quickly. he’s done it to me, I’ve seen him do it to countless girls who are all beautiful & look really cool. I know this is indicative that he has serious insecurity issues, that he thinks by getting all these girls it will feed his ego & he will feel validated, & when he knows he has them he disappears. then he will usually go back & try to get their attention. you may ask why I even bothered with this relationship, well we’ve loved each other forever which is why so please don’t say anything judgemental or not nice, I just am looking for friendly support & wisdom. I always have an amazing relationship we get along amazing so it has nothing to do with that. I know it’s his problem not mine but I have been crying all day. I thought this time would be different. I HAVE walked away & cut him off before when he mistreated me but we always go back to each other sooner or later because of our history. no matter how many girls he’s with or if I’m dating, we always come back to each other. So anyway, to present day: Wednesday everything was normal in our relationship. Yesterday I had a bad feeling. There was no reason for it, because the day before all was well, but I had a feeling that he was going to start cheating. I checked his instagram for the first time in 3 months (I stopped checking a long time ago I decided to just trust him) & low & behold my instinct was correct. He “followed” a pretty girl recently. I went on her page & saw he left a flirty emoji on her picture. I felt something was off in our relationship but I thought I was being paranoid but sure enough there he is searching for new girls & contacting them. That’s what he does, for no apparent reason. Last time he did it to me he literally said he promises not to talk to girls but I knew he was lying , went on his instagram & TWO SECONDS after he said he promised me, he commented to a random girl to check her direct messages. When the girls do not respond to him he deletes them. I know with guys like him they cannot just be happy with an amazing girl they have to attempt to fill their low self esteem by trying to get girls. Anyway so I did not tell him I knew what he was doing because I don’t want to seem like a stalker that I looked at his page. Yesterday (when I found out) he didn’t contact me all day. He normally talks to me very frequently. I asked what he was doing at 5 pm he said he was at the gym. 3 hours later I tried calling him, not only did he not pick up but didn’t text me. I just knew it was over. but just incase I texted him today the same way I always do. I’m always happy & upbeat. He did not respond to ANY of my texts. at 5 I said to him “I’ve noticed you’ve been ignoring me since last night. I don’t know why you’d ignore me but ok” he didn’t respond to that either. So I know we are done. Instead of telling me he doesnt want to be with me anymore he just stops talking to me. The last time he did that was fall 2013 & he didn’t talk to me for 5 months he later told me he sabotaged our relationship cause he felt I’m too perfect, too good to be true & he also told me he tried to kill himself because he thinks he’s a failure at love. I am not sure if that’s true though. As I type this I realize you all will be like DUH he cannot be in a healthy relationship but like I said before please don’t judge I feel sad enough right now. When we ARE in a relationship everything is amazing. I don’t exactly have a question I just need support. I know not to contact him, to try to be happy within myself every day, etc but I just need some wisdom right now. I half expected him to be unfaithful eventually because I know how he is, but I’m taken aback that he is completely ditching me without one word. He knew I was so excited for Valentine’s day too it’s like the worst timing right now. I feel so blindsighted. If I wasn’t smart enough to check his social media, I would be clueless right now, because the last time we spoke he said he loved me more than anything in the world. I guess I just want wisdom on the type of person he is so I don’t blame myself. I know there is nothing I said or did, that he just woke up Thursday & decided he was going to do this, literally, but I still feel horrible & have been crying all day. I still blame myself to some extent because I don’t understand why he can’t just be with me when we have such a smooth relationship (before he runs)

    #397509 Reply

    Lady T

    Hey Ashley,

    I’m very sorry you’re going through this. I DO understand a bit because I HAD someone in my life who sounds a lot like this. We knew each other since we were both 15 years old and we always ended up getting back to each other at some point until a couple years ago when I just stopped it. We’re both 35 now so it was almost 20 years of this weird dynamic before I said “no more.” The most important question I have for you before I say anything is, where is he in relation to you now? Do you two live close to each other since he’s been your boyfriend most recently? xo

    #397511 Reply

    Ashley

    Lady T, thank you for your reply. He lives a few hours away in long island I live in rural PA by the border of NY. distance ism’t an issue tho. he always has said he wants me to move there. when we were little it was so cute he would be like will you be my gf even though you’re far away? he used to be so sweet & now i just cant believe hes completely ignoring me! i mean yea he’s done it before, but really, right before valentines day?? i really wish i could tell him off but i know there is no point. i have to delete him number & resist the temptation to not curse him out right now

    #397512 Reply

    Stefanie

    Ashley, sorry this is happening to you. You say he does this to all women. This is pretty big drama. Can you see this was never going to end well? The real question is are you now going to leave this behind and only deal with men who treat you well and have sane relationship history or are you going to repeat the pattern? I hope you can love yourself more than to do this again or go back to him.

    #397515 Reply

    Ashley

    Stephanie, thanks for your response. I know you’re right and I WAS anticipating him to be unfaithful, I could feel it coming before it even happened but I thought I was crazy, and things would last longer! it’s weird because I think I’m gorgeous, amazing personality, smart, it’s not that I don’t “love myself” and I do not date guys like this normally, it’s the history/sentimentality that is my issue here with him. any other guy I am very discriminating against and don’t put up with anything, it’s my unconditional love for him that is the issue :( no matter what he does I LOVE him deeply. Any other man I thought I loved I’ve been able to get over successfully with all of my dignity in tact but in this situation I feel powerless

    #397517 Reply

    Stefanie

    Ashley, from your photo you are just adorable. You don’t have to take crap from anyone.

    What exactly do you think LOVE is? Something for you to ponder.This situation does not feel like real love and certainly not unconditional love. Unconditional love doesn’t mean chucking boundaries and caution to the wind and taking everything someone dishes out.

    And you are NOT powerless. You are only powerless if you choose that. Make another choice.

    #397521 Reply

    Ashley

    Stephanie, Thank you. What I want to work on is to get over the urge or compulsion that I have to want to make it work. this is so embarrassing to admit, but even after all the pain I’ve experienced in the past two days, if he contacted me right now I would listen it’s like I have some sort of unconditional empathy for him. I want to stop being like this! I know how stupid it is & how pathetic it sounds believe me. I still have this urge that I want to be with him. I know I’m just not thinking logically right now but it’s like scary I feel so lost in a fantasy reality like as if he would change & we would get married & have our life. I know that is not reality & he’s nowhere near close to ever changing but I don’t know how to stop wanting that. it sounds ABSURD, I know. I think I feel this way because since I was 14 that’s what we’ve always talked about so it’s like 10 years straight of believing that in the end that will be our life together. I just want to stop feeling all these feelings. When I try to distract myself, it doesn’t work, my mind just goes right back to thinking about him. There have been times in the day where I’ve been able to get myself to a happy place & genuinely good mood but then I take 10 steps back & start crying. just like last time I had truly believed I had cut him off for good. & all it took was a week & I was mush in love again. I want to feel in control of my emotions & of myself. I believe there is something that could do this for me, I just don’t know what

    #397524 Reply

    Lady T

    The guy I was talking about in my life was a comfort BECAUSE of our history. He’s who I turned to when things were going wrong with whomever I was with at the time. He knew me longer than anyone else and we’d always had a connection. But he was ALWAYS a “lady’s man” and the only time that we were a “couple” it was an LDR, we were super young and he cheated on me like 6 times. BUT when the time came, I was back in touch and looking to him to make me feel good and it always worked. It was comforting in a weird, unhealthy way.

    What you should ask yourself is, “If I just met him now, without ALL the history, would I, or SHOULD I, give him the time of day?” The answer may or may not surprise you.

    Hugs to you, lady. xo

    #397525 Reply

    M

    I’m so sorry this is happening to you and I’m so sorry you took him back the last time and let yourself hope it would get better, even though you knew it wouldn;t. I have absolutely no judgement, you care about him and he is a person you clearly want to help, you see the potential in how i could be if he would just deal with his issues…but he refuses to. He does not deserve you. It doesn’t mean he is an evil man but his deep wounds prevent him from treating you with respect and I hope you get angry about that and move on. But it will probably take time.

    Do you have some single girlfriends you can plan something fun with for Valentine’s Day? Maybe a singles event or a girls night of some sort?

    This relationship almost sounds like an addiction. There is something about him (mostly your long history and the future you talked about, from the sound of it) that is keeping you tethered to him. You have a good head, I can see how you are trying to think logically and not allow your emotions to run the show. That is easier said than done so please don’t beat yourself up. You need to stay away from him. And you know that. So what are some of the ways you’ve gotten through this in the past?

    Have you heard of the skill called “radical acceptance?” You could try practicing that around it being over, around that whole future you were longing for with him and had invested in for so many years… Google it but here is one exercise to try. When you start feeling sad about him, you can say as loud and firm as you’re able to (whether you speak the words audibly or just shout them in your head if you don’t have the privacy) say something like “It’s over with ______ and that really sucks.” Or “I’m not going to have that house by the lake like we planned and I feel really sad about that” whatever is true for you. Just acknowledge your feelings but be firm in the way you say it… and say it again and again and again until that sadness passes.

    I hope that helps

    #397530 Reply

    Ashley

    Lady T, that is such a great point!! that’s kind of what I was looking for as a tool to help me so thank you very much for that. the answer is absolutely not if I just met him with no history I’d never give him a second thought I would think he was a coward & a jerk who didn’t care about anyone’s feelings & had serious deep dark issues! that just helped me thank you I tried to do something like that the other day because I saw it on one of my reality shows someone asked the girl if you had 100 guys at your door, would you accept this behavior & the girl was like HELL no. Hugs to you too xoxo

    M, Thank you very much. I know he doesn’t deserve me. I don’t understand what is WRONG with him , why he has these weird insecurity issues that cause him to treat others like this, I’m pretty good at pscyhology but I do not know the term for what he is lol. Yes and I agree it does sound like an addiction. in the past what I did was just be really really logical with myself & just try to make myself happy & I am good at it, for a while , then I feel the love feelings. For me mostly I just try to pound logic in my head. Thank you very much!!! xoxo

    #397533 Reply

    Ashley

    I’m very analytical so what I just did was took the time to read our text log. these are all the texts starting from the day after Christmas until today. It was VERY cathartic & helpful to me logic wise because I just realized something: I AM NOT MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING by not talking to him anymore. I was crying today partly because I miss him it feels so surreal to go a day without talking to him. I felt so lonely. But after reading all our texts wow what an eye opener our conversations are so dull & it’s like the same thing every day. sometimes good morning, sometimes i miss you, or i wish i was with you, I sent him pictures every day of what I was cooking & myself, to every picture he said the word “yum” like wow how boring!! most days we said we love each other. then every day I would say how was my gorgeous boyfriends day. he usually says good you. like wow I am almost laughing at how boring these conversations are. I have been deluding myself! when we were younger we would talk about everything & now it’s mundane. its like wow THIS is what im so upset over??? I am absolutely not missing out on anything at all. You would think 42 days worth of texts (yes I counted lmao I was curious to see how long we’ve been in constant contact since the last time I cut him off) would be tons of texts but it was the same crap every day!! I am so glad I did that before the night was over definitely a weight of sorts has been lifted! it may sound like a weird thing to do but it really is an eye opener

    #397535 Reply

    Stefanie

    Ashley, you are doing well to work this out here. You are being honest. You are taking feedback positively. You are being productive. I see you progress with each post you write. Good for you. You’re going to be OK. Hang in there. Time heals. Hugs.

    #397538 Reply

    Katie

    Hi Ashley! There is nothing wrong with you other than you are suffering from an affliction many people suffer from. You are suffering from the “crazy factor”. What is this? This happens to the best of and it’s when we come across someone so damn crazy that we don’t know how to wrap our minds around them. Therefore they have us guessing at all times. They have us addicted like they are crack because we desperately want to experience those moments of high. Generally these people can take us to such low places that them acting normal seems like the greatest gift. Your bf has the crazy factor down. I know several people who do and there is ALWAYS someone head over heels in love with them.

    Hold still though, there is good news for you. One day you are going to snap out of it. Unlike crack which can be deadly, the crazy factor fades into the annoying factor. When you are ready to, you will make that transition. Until then, sit pretty, have a drink and know that your affliction is the crazy factor and it will cure itself.

    I hope you are laughing;) I’m serious and kidding at the same time!

    #397540 Reply

    Lady T

    Good for you, Ashley! I just hope you really understand that you deserve better. You grew up with him, so you know more about him than a lot of people do. But if it was really meant to work out for you two, 10 years should have been enough time, imo. AND you wouldn’t have to question so much now. And you’re young and absolutely gorgeous! And just maybe you’ve outgrown the relationship.. xo

    #397542 Reply

    jane2

    Hi Ashley

    Sorry to read what you are going through. Sounds like you are getting there though but takes time if you’ve love each other since you were 14 years old.

    You are smart, adorable, and kind. Perhaps you gave too much to him rather than let him give to you? I’m not buying his “you are too perfect for me” routine. To me that means I don’t want to do the work needed for a relationship. AAnd the texts show it.

    I would suggest you think through how you want to handle him when he comes back… he’ll be back.

    I hope by the time you read this you are feeling better.
    .

    #397543 Reply

    M

    I love that you read all those texts and saw how boring he is. I usually delete texts but maybe it’s worth keeping them in case of these situations. It sounds like he wasn’t nearly reciprocating what you gave him…not even a simple compliment or word of appreciation. LAME!

    You will still have moments of missing him, I’m sure… keep this post close so you can read it and maybe even keep his texts if it’s not going to cause you pain.

    I’m so happy for you that you’ve come to see this realization.. the oxytocin will take a while to wear off but you are good at re-focusing on the logical again. Well done

    #397547 Reply

    Ashley

    Here is another thing I forgot to mention he always had this weird obsessive notion that he wanted to get me pregnant. So much so that lets say whatever girl he was talking to didn’t pan out, he would text me out of the blue sometimes & say “can we make a baby next month?” I’d be like WTF like I would think he is crazy. He’d ask if I had names picked out, all this stuff. I would be like why would you want to have a baby (it was usually times we were out of touch for a while) and he would say “to lock you down” then he’d be like so yes? and text me a bunch of question marks like so insecure that he felt the only way he could keep me was to get me pregnant. he has also done that for years. it creeped me out when I was younger cause the last thing I wanted to think about was babies. He always seemed obsessed with it. Then when we finally did have sex in Dec he said he hoped I wasn’t pregnant cause we should date first. meanwhile the day before he was talking about baby names?? this also happened in 2013 he had sex with me pretty much for the intention of impregnating me then the next day he would say he wasn’t ready. I was like wtf then why do you keep talking about it?? In 2013 he also told me to stop taking my birth control and he would even ask me almost like quizzing me how many days i had been off the pill. recently in the fall he would be like we are gonna be together you should stop taking the pill. if i sent him a photo of me he would say “cant wait to get you pregnant” instead of just telling me im pretty or something. when I would call him out about the flirting of all the instagram girls & I would say I don’t trust you & he would offer no explanation all he would say was I love you we should be exclusive you’re the only one for me I wanna marry you. but never ever ever has he changed his ways. even typing all this is so helpful cause I am realizing more & more there is something very very wrong with him!!!!

    #397550 Reply

    Ashley

    Stephanie, Thank you so much it means a lot!!

    Katie, omg that is so true!!!!!!!! that is exactly what it is!!!!! I try to be as logical of a person as I possibly can be, and he is SO VAGUE and so hard to read, a man of few words literally, and I am very expressive and discriptive so it’s as if his lack of clarity confuses me SO BADLY to the point where I blame myself because it makes no sense .. I think if something makes absolutely no sense at all that I analyze & rack my brain & it still makes no rational sense that it must be my fault & that somehow I must be the reason he treats me so weird. When in reality I am so direct all the time there is no possible way it could be of my doing.

    Lady T, thank you!!!

    jane2, aww thank you for the compliments! yes you are right I am WAY too giving absolutely! I can see that now through the texts because I was always sharing photos, thoughts, etc & he never said much of anything! well he didnt mean im too perfect like that he meant that he thought i was too good to be true because this ex gf cheated on him and made him have the trust issues so now when a relationship goes well he thinks its not authentic so he self-sabotages it. thats how he explained it to me last february. i wasnt interested in his crap then so i didnt pay as good as attention as i should have but i think that was the main point of his explanation. you’re right he doesnt put any work he has this lazy/spoiled mentality he wants the girl to do all the work. he doesnt want to initiate anything. when you dont initate with him he gets pouty like why arent you texting me? its weird i had never seen a guy act pouty like that before!!

    M, exactly!! thank you!!

    #397554 Reply

    m

    Wow the whole pregnancy thing is super creepy… that’s exactly his motivation.. to lock you down. even just talking about getting you pregnant is keeping you emotionally tied to him in some way and then if he ever did get your pregnant, you’d basically be locked to him for life… he would keep cheating and disappearing (and disappearing on your child!!) but he would know you would always be there waiting for him, since you’d have his child. Wow. You are so lucky to be RID of this man!!! He is a walking, ticking time bomb! And God only knows who ELSE he’s talking about knocking up! For all you know, he might have numerous women he texts about that idea.

    #397555 Reply

    m

    It seems like these crazy guys all have some things in common (I’m talking about your guy and a lot of the guys that people post about, men I have dated and realized they were not good boyfriends…)

    -Manipulative
    -Vague (whether it’s not talking much, or being talkative but speaking in confusing ways, using misleading language or contradictory language – like the guy who says he loves her, sleeps with her, then says she;s not marriage material the next morning)
    -using subtle ways to keep you hooked in some way (another form of manipulation)

    #397556 Reply

    Ruth

    Dear Ashley,

    I have been reading your posts and several of the responses here. The response from Katie regarding the “crazy factor” really resonates with me and I would like to share an experience I had, in hopes that it will help.

    I too, briefly had a “crazy factor” relationship a few years ago. An old bf from college days contacted me. Too much had happened between college and our adult lives and we were no longer a fit (so I thought, even though I was willing to give re-kindling the relationship a chance).

    Even though I expressed reluctance from the outset, he called all the time, came down from his hometown to visit, etc. The minute I would become interested, warm up, or respond to these overtures, he would go cold turkey. The calls, e-mails, and visits (or plans for visits) would stop.

    This happened a total of three times and I pulled the plug. The last time was the worst. We had a visit in which out of the blue, he picked an argument. Did a total 180 on the “I love you” and turned it into how we could never work because I would never measure up to his last relationship. I was heading to grad school at this point. The nail on the coffin was when he said, “Well, one of us will have to work,” meaning me, not him! He was expecting to be a kept man. I thought, “What a jerk.” I gave myself one weekend to cry and never spoke to him again. HE’S NOT WORTH THE AIR HE SUCKS INTO HIS LUNGS. (Feel free to adopt that mantra, if it works for you).

    I’m almost finished with school, carrying a 4.0 average. And instead of worrying about supporting someone else, I’m thinking about the doors and prospects that will open up. I’m ready for someone who is stepping up and putting in the hours that I am – and I’m not willing to waste time on some loser.

    Hang in there and do something great for yourself! You deserve it and you’re worth it!

    Ruth

    #397564 Reply

    redcurleysue

    I am so sorry this is happening to you. Hugs.

    The above posters made all good points so I would also say take this and read it again when you feel blue.

    A little background on me might help you. I was a career woman – fiercely independent. I traveled to China by myself to give you a better picture.

    Then I met a man that I fell in love with – head over heels, the love of my life. We were married for 17 years, had 3 children and weathered many many issues. I thought we would be together until the end. To me in many ways he was the sun and I was in orbit around him. And yes, I do believe he loved me too.

    At about year 15 I noticed a shift. He had dramatically changed careers so I thought that was it….but it wasn’t. Looking back I know that was when he opened himself to the possibility of another relationship, but I didn’t know or didn’t want to know.
    In his previous job he had worked with all men and now he was working with a mix of men and women. Sometimes he would talk about his different relationships at work and ask my opinion which I would give (some of these work relationships were women so I gave him the woman’s point of view).

    Then came his reunion. I was happy for him to attend and see what his classmates had been up to…I had gone to mine and had the time of my life. He came back extremely happy and told me about several people…one of those being his old flame. I thought nothing about it.

    After this he kept contact with several old classmates (which I was happy about for him) which included his old flame. He would tell me about what they were up to including her. Then I felt a second shift.

    He was online for long periods of time. When I would question this he would cheerfully put my concerns to rest…no worry…no worry.

    Then came the distance…it was so tangible I could cut it with a knife. He became short with me – this was not the man cave style I became used to….this was very different. Looking back I know he was distancing himself for the break.

    I would ask him what was going on and he would not want to communicate. I knew something was terribly wrong so I asked to go to marriage counseling. We went but I think now it was too late. He did not really participate, he was closed off too much.
    In counseling he blamed me for the relationship problems saying I did not know how to make him happy. The counselor told him that was not my job and he did not want to go to counseling anymore.

    Long story short he told me he was not in love with me anymore, oh he loved me but was not in love. He wanted out. Of course it hurt like hell, but I was also expecting it by the way all of it fell. We had always agreed that we would leave before cheating on each other and I know he did not technically cheat but emotionally he was in a relationship with his old flame. Yes, he admitted to it.

    I told him that I truly loved him and would try anything to make our marriage work but he had already made up his mind that I was not what he wanted anymore. Given that I have never been a person to cling so I said ok. Our three children were devastated and were left with me. He moved into an apartment and did not contact the children even though he promised to do so. I called him several times and reminded him that the children were hurting and missed him but he made excuses and did not contact them.
    Before then I was hurt….but when I saw my children hurting I saw red…as a mama bear no one was going to hurt my kids…that is when my anger came out.

    Now to get to the part that I think may apply to you. I went from a independent woman to a partner and wife. I was embedded in my marriage and had learned to rely and trust someone else. Suddenly I was faced with making life on my own with 3 children and a job. I was scared…logically I knew better…that if my car died in the middle of the street I would call a tow truck instead of my husband but it felt so empty. I had learned to bring someone in close to me and now I had to deal on my own.

    Logically, I had relied on myself before and I knew I could rely on myself again but emotionally I had not caught up.

    It took about a year of various experiences for my emotions to catch up with the logic and now I am stronger than ever. I could go to the moon now – lol.

    I can fully understand how you feel mixed feelings. Especially since there is no clean end in sight…just more of the same. It really all boils down to what you really want for you. That is where the boundaries come in. What do you accept and what do you not accept given the long term nature of your relationship? You know that if you accept the same then the same will happen…and that is ok if it is what you want. For example, I will not accept having a drug addict in my life – that is a deal breaker for me. What are your deal breakers?

    As a wise person once said, “if you want to change the dance you have to take different steps.”

    #397577 Reply

    Stefanie

    Sue! What a story!!! Good for you for not letting this destroy you and thanks for sharing.

    #397604 Reply

    Ashley

    M , Ruth & Sue thank you so much so much for your responses and sharing your incredible stories!! I relate so much to what you ladies are saying!!!

    I am sad today waking up knowing that this is the first day we are done. What feels even more weird is he didn’t break up with me, there was no conversation, like if I were a person who was extremely busy & just didn’t text him yesterday, I wouldn’t even KNOW this was going on. It’s just like a slap in the face. He has done this to me before, so you would think it would be easy but it’s not. This may have been stupid but last night before I went to bed I tried to text him one last time, mostly just like wishing he would show some respect & to clarify that we’re done. Also, since I would never admit I actually looked at his instagram & saw the other girls etc, like if I never looked, I’d be genuinely clueless. So I sort of act as though I literally did not know what the deal was. I knew he wouldn’t respond but I did it to at least try once more for some sort of clarification & maybe there was a 1% chance he would. I made this text as literal as possible so that he wouldn’t even have to explain (I just acted like hey are we together or are you just being weird & not talking for a day) this is the text I sent: Can you at least tell me if we’re still together or not? Can you simply text me the word “single” or “taken” so I know what I am? Lol thanks *with a thumbs up emoji* maybe another reason I did that was so I look in control of my emotions, like in the past I reacted so emotionally & pleaded with him & this time the only things I have said are totally just logical. It may sound ridiculous but the fact I haven’t showed him my emotional outburst gives me some dignity. The other thing I said hours before that was “I noticed you’ve been ignoring me since last night. I don’t know why you’d be ignoring me but ok” so at least it makes me feel a little bit of dignity knowing I tried to address the situation twice in a calm manner. Today is my first day of no contact so I am hoping it will make me feel better to not be the one trying & reaching out. I am also going to try to resist the temptation to check his instagram & see what crap he is doing. One thing I keep remembering is how in the fall the thing I said where he said he promised to not talk to other girls then in a matter of seconds I saw he hit on a random girl telling her to check her messages. That reminds me the FACT that no matter what he says he did not actually intend on being true to me. I have to just keep remembering what he does. 2 summers ago I also have to remember that while I thought we were having an amazing relationship, I found out he was seeing this girl & having a relationship with her! He erased all her comments & dumped her to appease me but I actually felt bad for the girl because she probably thought they had a great thing going. I just have to keep reminding myself of the cold hard truth!!!

    #397633 Reply

    redcurleysue

    I wonder what advice you would give me if I told you that the man I was seeing for several years kept disappearing and going around with other girls.

    I am curious…what would you say to me?

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Reply To: Bf just ghosted, need friendly support
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