So you have been broken up with, which sounds only slightly better than saying you have been “dumped,” and you want to know how much time you have to get your ex back before he/she moves on to a rebound relationship or something more long term.
So often in life, we find ourselves in situations where timing is crucial. To get the best deal we have to be at the store before they sell out of what we want to buy. To be seriously considered for the job, we have to at least be there on time and excuses for being late will get us nowhere but maybe even make us look worse.
We are taught that being “on time” and reaction time are of the utmost importance. So when the person who is now your ex appears to be “moving on” or is spotted with someone else, we fall back on our training and feel that we have to pounce or else risk losing the one we love forever.
How wrong that line of thinking usually is.
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Many hurting people are often surprised to hear me tell them that the best chance they have of getting their ex back, especially if they are in a rebound relationship, is not to reach out to them.
The best action is to respect the wishes of your ex. They think (emphasis on “think”) life would be better without you. If you believe they are wrong, you must let them see for themselves. That’s the only way for them to know.
Let them experience life without you. Rebounds rarely last long at all because the person who is fresh out of a serious relationship isn’t emotionally ready. That fact often causes the new relationship to send them back to the person they left. Which, in this case, would be you.
So the song is right when it says, “Sometimes the best way to say something, is to say nothing at all.”
It might seem like you are doing nothing. But you are actually showing your ex that you are a good listener and have the maturity to give them time and space. Them seeing that you are capable of that will give them more reason to come back to you – especially if they don’t get the same when they pull away from the new person.
Will your ex “move on”?
If they do, it’s unlikely that it will be quickly if they were in a relationship with you for any solid amount of time. By that, I mean that if you two were together for at least three months, then it will most likely take them being without a romantic partner for a time as they heal.
If they are with someone within mere days of breaking up with you, this is likely the classic rebound relationship and it usually doesn’t have staying power. The reason is that your ex won’t feel the closeness with them that they had with you. The reason for this is the amount of time that you two were together and because your ex didn’t take time to heal.
Since they remember the closeness you two shared, the new relationship often seems weaker and shallow to them. If you leave things alone and allow this to happen, your ex will likely be back in your arms in a short period of time.
Take things one day at a time. You don’t have to get your ex back today. And not rushing it will increase your odds not only of getting them back, but getting them back for good.
Coach Lee provides resources to help you get your ex back at MyExBackCoach.com.
For everything you need to know about getting your ex back and making it work the second time around, be sure to read this next: Do You Want Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Use This to Get Him Back...