You and your boyfriend broke up and to add to your pain, he’s dating someone new. Is it for real, or is he in a rebound relationship? (And you desperately hope it’s the latter!)
The world is full of varying and conflicting opinions. What’s one thing everyone can agree on? Easy. Breaking up with someone sucks.
Whether you are the one initiating the breakup or the one being left, it’s just undeniably painful. This universally agreed upon suffering is amplified when you see your former flame in a new relationship. There’s no good way to discover this information.
Scrolling through your social media and coming across a picture of them together is awful enough to make your mouth dry and your cheeks flush. Sometimes it’s a knowledgeable friend that fills you in. Hopefully, you don’t endure the much worse scenario of learning the shocking news by running into the new couple somewhere (and usually it will happen when you’re makeup free, greasy haired, and wearing your old stained sweats because of course, that’s how it would happen!).
Regardless of how you uncover the scoop, you’re bound to be curious about it. Even if you don’t want to get back together, it’s only human to want to know. Are they serious? Or is it a typical rebound relationship? And if you do want to get your ex back, that’s also easier than you might think, even if he is seeing someone new.
Here are some signs that the relationship is not going to go the distance:
Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?
1. He jumped into the relationship right away.
While there are a million and one ways to get over a breakup, none of them are fast. As cliché as it is, time is the only real healer. You need it to process everything that went wrong and to recalibrate as a single individual.
One way to deny the pain of a breakup is to throw yourself into a new love. It’s hard to think about the details of your past relationship when you are busy learning about a new person. This honeymoon glow is temporary and is simply a denial of the breakup.
Some people have a pattern of falling in and out of love quickly. If your ex is like this, don’t be surprised if he seems infatuated with a new person quite quickly. Don’t let yourself be too upset, either. It’s can hardly be called true love if he slips in and out of it like he’s changing his socks.
2. They haven’t been together very long.
You don’t always have enough information right off the bat to make a judgment call on a relationship. Sometimes you have to give it a little time.This one requires some patience on your part but is very revealing.
If the new couple splashes their whirlwind romance all over social media, that’s a giveaway that they are romanticizing something superficial. Real relationships take time to develop. Immediately filling up your newsfeed with charming couple pictures (and nauseating captions) reeks of immaturity.
Give it some time – depending on the couple, you may only be waiting a few days.
3. The relationship is moving at warped speed.
As crushing as it may be to see your ex rapidly moving on, in a way that should give you some comfort. Juvenile, rebound relationships very often tackle romantic milestones way too soon. By jumping the gun on these big moments, a couple can pretend like they are more serious than they are.
When a guy is reeling from the torment of a breakup, it can seem very appealing to run from those emotions. What better way to do that than by throwing yourself into the opposite emotions – love, happiness, euphoria? However, when you force and rush these emotions, they are not really genuine. If the reality of how a guy feels is too much to face, faking these things seems like the superior move.
Nothing false like this can last. Soon the shiny, artificial relationship will fade as well – probably much speedier than your legitimate relationship with him came to an end.
4. The new girl is nothing like you.
Just like it would be a little suspect if he started dating a girl who could pass for your twin, it’s quite telling if he goes for your exact opposite. This doesn’t have to be strictly appearance-based.
Let’s say the two of you loved being homebodies and opting for Netflix most Friday nights. If he proceeds to date a girl who knows and regularly hits every club in a 60-mile radius, this is a red flag. Any sudden shift in interests or personality suggests that he is feeling supremely unstable. By rebelling against anything that’s reminiscent of you, he might think that he’s “showing” you that he’s moved on.
After experiencing heartbreak from breaking up with you, he may also be overcorrecting to avoid that in the future. Our minds work in funny ways. Subconsciously he may believe that by dating your polar opposite, he’s protecting himself from the same grief ever touching him again.
5. He rubs it in your face.
The only person to feel sorry for if your ex decides to rub his new relationship in your face is the new girlfriend. You may not feel particularly sympathetic to her, and no one could blame you for that, but she’s attached herself to certain heartbreak. If your ex had truly moved on, he would never waste time making you suffer from details of his new flame. It means he’s still hung up on you in some way, and this new person is just a way to make you jealous.
While the most straightforward way to do this is to show up (with her) at places he knows you will be, there are other methods. Choosing your more gossipy mutual friends to share news of his new fling is a surefire way to get it back to you. Of course, plastering as many pictures on social media as possible is another (passive-aggressive) option.
Regardless of how he goes about it, relishing in the broadcasting of his new relationship is terribly transparent. Those are not the actions of a happy man in an authentic, budding relationship.
At the end of the day, your ex’s new relationship is out of your hands. If it displays any of the signs listed here, take some solace in the knowledge that it’s likely a rebound relationship.
So where does all this leave you?
While it’s natural to wonder about the longevity of the relationship, your energy is better put to use in focusing on yourself. Remember the reasons why you guys broke up. Think of all the things that drove you crazy while you were together. You know all those doors that were closed to you while you were dating? They’re all open again.
Maybe the two of you will come together again, more mature and ready to tackle your issues (read this to find out exactly how to get your ex back). Maybe you’ll look back at the relationship and be amazed at how it prepared you for something even better. Either way, you’ll be just fine!
Here is the thing to remember, a rebound relationship can potentially turn into a serious relationship. The more time that passes, the more his feelings for you might start to fade away, But don’t despair! You can get him back, but you need to know a few things. Do you know what makes your ex desperately miss you and realize you were the “one”? If not, you need to read this article next: Do You Want Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Use This to Get Him Back...
Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?
These Are the Biggest Signs Your Ex is in a Rebound Relationship:
- He jumped into the relationship right away.
- They haven’t been together very long.
- The relationship is moving at warp speed.
- The new girl is nothing like you.
- He rubs it in your face.