… (Previous page – Ask a Guy: How Do I Get Him to Commit?) pick up on these sorts of things.
Instead, focus on him and what you love about him and how you can inspire him to be his best self.
Men need to feel like “winners” in the world. When a man finds a woman who he feels inspires him to be a more of a winner than he ever could be on his own, that’s a woman that who he will say is different. That’s a woman he will see as the one he has been looking for and that’s a woman he will do everything he can to keep forever.
So let’s say you follow all this advice, you keep your options open, you stop having an agenda and start enjoying the relationship for what it is… and things still don’t change.
Well at this point you will have to decide whether or not to use your walking power.
As I said earlier, he will only step it up if he senses he could lose you. In this case, you need to decide what it is you’re willing to do in order to get what you want, and you need to decide if you’ll be willing to walk away if you don’t get it. Before the conversation even comes up you need to decide what your move will be, whether you’ll stay or leave.
If he really, truly cares about you, he won’t let you go without a fight. If he lets you go and doesn’t come after you it means that he wasn’t all that invested and the relationship probably would have ended at some point.
It’s not to say he didn’t care about you, it just means he didn’t see you as “the one” and if that happens, at least you won’t have to waste anymore time on a dead-end relationship.
Hope that helps,