does what you like.
Think about it: Saying thank you is polite. Telling him you like something is informative.
But showing him through action in a way that makes him feel amazing has impact. That is what rewarding good behavior is.
If you want to get more “good behavior” from him, reward him and tell him what he did that you liked, tell him how it made you feel and then show him through some action that makes him feel really good.
“When you did this, you made me feel like XYZ”, followed by reward.
It’s kind of like animal training. Then again, most of good relationship skills are like animal training – and hell, if it feels good and it leads to a happier, better relationship for everyone, I’m happy to be “trained”.
Stop thinking that thank-you’s and telling people what you like is going to help. Stop doing the things that YOU THINK should have a positive emotional impact on them.
Start finding the things that have a positive impact on the other person and do those to reward good behavior. When you start doing things that you know create positive feelings in the other person, THEN it is a reward.
And once you know what has a positive emotional impact on the other person, you can let them know what has a positive impact on you when you reward them. THEN it inspires them to do more of what you want because they want more of the reward – who wouldn’t?
This is a very simple and elegant way to make all of your relationships much better.
Hope it helps,