I’ve been seeing a guy for a few weeks and he often refers to me as his girlfriend…but refuses to change his facebook status from being single. He is always asking to meet my parents, and introduces me to all his friends so I’m not sure what the problem is?
See our guy’s response after the jump!
We truly live in the era of Love 2.0 now, I guess. :)
First off, you’ve been seeing a guy for a few weeks. Ease up a bit on the fella – Facebook status can be a touchy thing.
I’ve been on the receiving end of the whole Facebook relationship status drama. For me, it was annoying as hell and it turned into a battle of wills between me and my girlfriend at that time.
These days I don’t list my relationship status on Facebook – too much hassle and nonsense for something I prefer to be personal. But I digress…
With regards to your situation, step back for a moment. It’s not really about the Facebook status. At a deeper level, it’s probably about a couple of things.
First, his commitment to you. In my mind, if he’s referring to you as his girlfriend, he’s into you. He likes you, he wants you and that’s all the commitment you should want or expect within a few *weeks* of seeing a guy. Frankly, if he’s referring to you in conversation as his girlfriend, you’re doing pretty good!
Second, it’s about public acknowledgment. You want that status up there so that it’s official, so to speak. So that everyone who knows you knows you’re with him and everyone who knows him knows he’s with you. I can understand that and at the heart of it, I think it’s a nice thing.
But give it time. When I think of relationships, I like to keep it personal. I don’t want to stand on top of buildings yelling and declaring love like some fool in countless romance movies (that’s why it’s a movie… not real life). I don’t need to call everyone after a few weeks of seeing a girl and gush about my new girlfriend. I let people know gradually, over time. Moreover, my focus is on things being good at the moment – not the label.
And as a guy, I know that relationships can change… In the beginning, things are unstable, uncertain… anything can happen! And that’s part of the fun of the beginning stages of a relationship!
Relationships eventually move into a more stable stage and mature into something different. Guys know this and usually when it enters *that* stage, that’s when a guy will probably change his Facebook status. That is, when it’s so obvious that you are his girlfriend that you’d be able to see it from space.
But I would say it’s a bad thing to ever pressure a guy into changing his Facebook status. I took down my relationship status because I didn’t need my family, distant relatives, employers and ex-classmates to see every time I’ve started or ended a relationship. Again, I am PRIVATE and that is my personal preference – I would be very annoyed to have a girl pushing me to change my status, even if it were a girl I liked very much.
So my bottom-line response – forget about it, focus on enjoying the relationship for exactly what it is in real life.
Hope it helps!