The “Rules” of Facebook for Dating & Relationships post image

The “Rules” of Facebook for Dating & Relationships

After scanning the comments on A New Mode, I have noticed a very common topic in almost every discussion. Somehow we always manage to fit Facebook into all relationship/hookup/guy-meets-girl talks. I understand it. The image we portray to the world is now through statuses and pictures.  But how does that fit into our special, or not so special, someone?

I am happy to do my best to shed light on how to navigate the complicated world of The Facebook with the first ever ultimate Facebook rule book!

Hi girls. I am a guy. I met you at a fundraiser and now would like to get to know you so we exchange names and numbers and now I go home and friend you. You accept. All of the sudden the business-casual, classy beauty at the affair turns into a funneling, ice-luging, pole dancing, make out queen of Indiana University. Here’s the bottom line on pictures: take them down.

Now pick yourself off the floor and hear me out. I do not mean all of them.  I just mean the ones that do not portray the real you. Facebook is a self-celebritizer (I have copyrights on that word…don’t even think about using it without citing me).  You are your own PR person.  So most of you right now who are looking for real, truthful, wholesome relationships have it in your best interest to project a real, truthful, wholesome you.

Most of you went to college and most of you partied really, really, really, hard.  Who needs to see that over and over again?  By the way you can always save the pictures to your computer that you can’t let go of.  Go on your facebook and take a hard look at every picture and ask yourself, “Is sexy Halloween cow girl riding the bull at The Roxy the image I’m going for?” If it is by all means keep it up there…just expect a cowboy in return.  And cowboys usually don’t stick around in one town for too long.

When to Friend Him
You can walk down the street passing people and just by hearing two seconds of girl-convo will most likely hear this topic being debated twice to 40 times a day.  “Should I friend him? I just met him. Should I wait? What are the rules? Does it even mean anything?”  You should friend him.  You should wait. There are rules. And it does mean something.

First, he’s probably not going to friend you first so don’t worry about that. It means nothing.  So now that we’ve established that you’ll be doing the friending the question is when. I am a staunch believer in holding out as long as possible.  Facebook has pictures and statuses of you since when you were 18 years old.  Maybe earlier.  As twisted as it may seem, FB is a deep look into who you really are.  What you believe in.  Democrat or Republican. Gay or Straight.  Funny or Boring. Has been to 20 Dave Matthews Band concerts, or despises them.

Get to know the guy the old fashioned way first.  That means face to face and using a telephone. Of course, if things pick up, somewhere down the line you’ll send that precious friend request.  But learn him naturally before you show him that you’re a boring, lesbian, republican, Dave Matthews Band fanatic.

Relationship Status
Whoa. I think this is above my pay grade. But I will tell you what I know.  First, no in-between statuses like “it’s complicated.”  I think that should be obvious.  Secondly, no surprises.  This is also obvious, but he should not find out he’s your boyfriend through his mom who saw it through her sister who knows a girl that read it on your wall.

Make sure your clear about the relationship being official before you FB officailize it (also copyrighted).  Most importantly, you need to make sure he is comfortable with this being public knowledge and you need to be OK if he is not! It would be sketchy if he hid you from his friends and family in real life, but some guys do not need FB to validate that they’re in a mutual, loving relationship.  It would show some serious insecurities if you fought over this point.

QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Sabotaging Your Relationship?

Also, the same goes the other way around.  Stand your ground if you are not comfortable with publicizing it and he is.  It shows signs of insecurity on his part if he needs that in order to be with you. Your relationship starts and ends with the two of you…not the rest of the world.

When you find yourself in a consistent relationship with someone it is okay to post pictures of the two of you in your everyday lives enjoying each others company.  Just know that all your single friends will begin to hate you on that day.  Just kidding….kinda.

Posts of yourself with your “guy” are cool, but PDA is not.  Your mom has access to your account.  Oh you didn’t accept her friend request you say?  She has hacked into the mainframe and paid off Zuckerberg and she’s in there.  She, nor any of us, need to see 12 selfies in a row of you making out in front of Niagara Falls. Keep the kiss cam at home.

While we’re on this huge topic, there is also no need to post every single one of his acts of kindness towards you.  Not only are you now pissing off … (continued – Click to keep reading The “Rules” of Facebook for Dating & Relationships)

25 comments… add one

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I can’t decide whether to send my crush a request!! I know he checked out my page when we first met because he told me so. That was about 6 weeks ago. He didn’t send me a request. We’ve really gotten to know each other and see each other quite a bit although we haven’t gone on a date yet. I feel like if I was going to send a request, I should have already done it and that to send it now would seem weird. What do you think?

Reply September 22, 2017, 11:52 am


I found this very fantasic and helpful to me,bless up!

Reply July 28, 2017, 9:44 am


so would you like to find out another boyfriend on facebook?and if he’s not ample with you,better you should try to find me plz!!

Reply July 28, 2017, 9:18 am


So the no posting relationship status should one be worried if they didnt at least take off they were single and just leave it blank or no

Reply January 4, 2017, 6:34 am


I’m 30yrs old lady single Nigerian girl who stay alone in ondo town I’m looking for serious relationship with a guy who don’t depend on me He must be at the range of 23 to 35 years, text me on 08146241254 or matthewjoy426@Gmail.­com only serious guy should contact me.

Reply November 7, 2016, 12:10 am


My boyfriend of almost 2 years still has his relationship status as “single”
why have it say single when you are clearly not-especially when there is the option of not having anything listed? He has forbidden me to accept friend requests from anyone he knows and no longer has ne as a friend but continues to get upset with me when other guys comment on my pictures
we almost broke up over FB insecurities-so I unfriended all of what he referred to as “his people” and I am starting to think there’s more to this as I have tild him how it makes me feel & I did what he asked but he won’t respect my feelings
I don’t understand

Reply July 3, 2016, 6:44 pm

Noah William


Thank you for reading the article. Now, I have one piece of advice….but I want you to hear it as if I’m yelling it: “WATCH OUT!!!” This guy is not to be trusted and he doesn’t respect your feelings. Either he is too insecure to be in a relationship (hence the forcing you to unfriend everyone he deems a threat) or he’s being very sketchy with girls on FB and doesn’t want you to see. WATCH OUT!

Reply July 4, 2016, 2:01 am


I have a boyfriend… just not on facebook…..

Reply January 13, 2016, 12:57 pm


I’ve been talking to this guy I met from tinder for the past 6months, we’ve been just talking on the phone sometimes, and if meet up just for a quick make out. Obviously he just into hook ups only but I find him so attractive nevertheless. I wonder why he has yet to add me on fb? The reason might be pretty obvious but maybe I just need to be told or I just think too much. Should I add him on fb?

Reply November 29, 2015, 8:49 am


if he won’t claim you on facebook. there’s a problem. if he doesn’t accept tags of photos of the two of you…..there’s a problem. there are only two reasons a guy would not accept or acknowledge your relationship on FB. ONE is because he wants to keep his options TWO is you are not the only one. get a clue and dump him. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PRIVACY AND SECRECY. know it.

Reply November 27, 2015, 5:42 am


Met a guy six days ago. He got my number. The next day, he sent me a Facebook friend request. He’s initiated texting me on my cell, as well as Facebook messaging me several times since then. Why would he want to add me on Facebook so quickly?

Reply October 25, 2015, 8:24 pm


I deactivated my acct….I lost my boyfriend to FB….he refused to accept my friend request….I found out why. He was flirting with an ex girlfriend…..liking each others posts way too much and leaving comments about let’s go here and there…..disgusting. When I approached him about it, he said I am not interested in things you post…..yea….I know better….so he broke up with me after I discovered everything. He also flirts with other women he doesn’t even know and are his friends. From Central America?..that is very scary to me. Who would be friends with people out of the country you don’t even know. Thank god I snooped on his FB page otherwise I wouldn’t of known who he really is.

Reply December 31, 2014, 7:52 am


Oops!!you’re very sorry for what happened to you,and should hold your and wait until your tepy one,so infact you better find me and start be friending me on facebook by yadunya nimengi mathieu

Reply July 28, 2017, 9:31 am


Okay, well here is a strange and seriously screwed up situation. So this guy I have been “excusive” with for the last 5 or so months, kept trying to say he hates facebook and would never be a part of it. I can understand why… Kinda.
Then after a significant retreat while leading me on at the same time. You know sending me a good morning text EVERYDAY with out fail, always saying he misses me, and wants to hang out… Well he kept flaking , and the excuses started to get more and more out there. So I never looked up his facebook as I figured he didn’t have one. Just because I got curious, I put his email address in the search bar. BAM! There he is…. But under his nickname. Hum curious still. Why would he lie? I open his page and there is a bunch of art and nerdy stuff( that was only post like a month ago) then I click on about a quick scroll down and stop after passing his “STATUS”. I notice it says “in a relationship”… I thought how cute…. Then there was the “with” and a picture. I am sure you know what happened.

Well needless to say, the girl wasn’t me. :o so after all the leading on, him asking me to be “exclusive” then changing his mind and not wanting any kind of drama…. SERIOUSLY?that kind of situation is like inviting drama over for tea and asking it if it would like to stay longer for some pie as well.

Reply December 7, 2014, 12:51 pm


My boyfriend watches cam girls and likes to have contact with them. I don´t know what kind of “rules” apply to that situation but I don´t feel comfortable with that.

Reply July 6, 2014, 11:53 am


No….not normal if he’s in a relationship.

Reply December 31, 2014, 7:54 am


i have a boyfriend long distance relationship an he added me on facebook, an i was just joking with his girl friends when i saw some post in his wall the girl did not answer me an he wondered what is my problem i told him i was just kidding with the girl to tell him he better buy a more expensive car than the one he says he will buy for her as he claims it is his best friend for many years. He is jealous of any comment any guy friends of mines make on my status or pictures he removed me from facebook because i posted something he sent to me but apparently he cant remember an one of my guy friends made a joke an said “Me” so he thought is the guy that sent me that little love note when he cant even remember what he sent to me. So he said i should be ashame of myself how i must be have some man some where an how i wanted him to see that post. When i was trying to be romantic for him to see the note hoping he would remember it was him that sent it in the first place. So after he deleted me because i was trying to explain to him he misunderstood i told him well if i had to take it on as to what he girl friend does be flirting on facebook with him then i would consider it the same if not worst than what my guy friend did, he deleted me so fine i never message him again. However i told my guy friend what happened he added my boyfriend on skype an told him that he was just kidding with me we are not romantically involve . I dont know exactly what he said to him but maybe he did not believe an so i dropped it as it is because everytime i get organise to leave the country to meet him something always happens an argument always surface so 4 months have gone i have not attempted to add him on facebook, he did not delete me from skype so one day i put on my profile status on skype that i wish to have true love i was not thinking of him because i consider him an me to be over, he then sent me a message on skype asking me how can i have true love when i not with him he find i changed alot i am different it is because i not taking him on an have not messaged him at all he is the one that messaged me. Now he wants me an pretends as if he never broke up with me in 4 months i had met a cute guy in my own country however later i realise he was married i knew it was too good to be true an now i just going with the flow an see how this is gonna end because i really do love my boyfriend i wish to meet him soon but if it dont happen well then i dont know if i would ever be truly happy

Reply May 26, 2014, 12:04 pm

darlene talley

a friend of my met his fiance on fb and now they are happily married in Australia i want to give it a try am a widow with a son name chucky i stay at home taking good care of my son i just created a profile to see what the future lies on me my friend ask me to give it a try that i might meet the right person for me

Reply June 11, 2015, 1:34 pm


wow very cute to hear that!!so it’s heartworm to hear up that,so try to befriend me on my acounte by yaduniya nimengi mathieu the we should handle out this together

Reply July 28, 2017, 9:23 am

No FB Anymore

I deleted fb 3 years ago and I have never been tempted to reactivate it…sometimes I feel out of the loop but then I remember how I want privacy and to keep certain things private.

Reply May 22, 2014, 7:45 am

Noah Williams

Good for you! I have a ton of respect for people who can get off of it. Its like a drug sometimes!

Reply May 25, 2014, 12:32 am


Love this! You’re a very entertaining writer.

Reply May 20, 2014, 4:53 pm

Noah Williams

Thank you! More pieces to come!

Reply May 25, 2014, 12:35 am


This was so funny and so true. Thanks for all these helpful “rules!”

Reply May 20, 2014, 11:48 am

Noah Williams

Thank you! Ill be writing some more soon! Hope this helped a bit.

Reply May 25, 2014, 12:36 am

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