What causes absolutely crazy sexual attraction between two people?


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  • #494418 Reply
    Melissa

    I am not talking about when you are madly in love, or about just fantasising about someone sexually…I am talking about the totally crazy kind of physical attraction.

    Me and this guy have it right now. I met him online. He was really not my type in photos but seriously…I almost want to lick him. I can’t think about much else. I love his smell, his taste, his movements, his hands, his body (which believe me is not sexy) and I have never experienced sex anything like this before.

    He is absolutely the same way about me. Were struggling to work, think or do anything and we get so crazy to see each other that we’re travelling long hours when we should be working or whatever.

    I am mid thirties and have NEVER had this before (he says he hasn’t either) and I was just wondering what on earth it is about?

    What causes that physical desire for someone?

    #494425 Reply
    assileM

    I wish I knew the answer to that question, and also how to maintain / sustain that desire!

    The ONLY time I’ve felt that way, crazy lustful and could think of little else but him, it turned into a train wreck. After the desire started to lessen, I realized we had little in common, and my lust for him was masking some pretty serious flaws.

    I guess this falls into the category of off-the-charts chemistry. :)

    #494426 Reply
    Happy

    Look up ‘infatuation’

    #494437 Reply
    Leigh

    There is a science behind it. Our bodies have reactions and needs. We need food, water, oxygen to keep out bodies healthy. Sex is very important to keeping our body healthy because it affects our mind. That type of connection is the most amazing experience for 2 people to have. It releases stress, creates euphoria and it bridges 2 people beyond. I feel bad for people who have never had that.

    I just think you found someone who needed to enjoy sex as much as you did. It probably won’t last but just enjoy. I was with someone for almost 3 years having the best sex ever. It was playful, comfortable, adventurous, I trusted him and I felt my best during that time. Just wish I could find someone again like that. You usually know immediately when you meet them. Again, depending on what you are looking for, if you meet someone and you feel the need to have sex with them right away.. it won’t last.

    Enjoy, be safe and hopefully you 2 can be together for a while.

    #494466 Reply
    Leila

    This is my current relationship, and we’ve been together for over 7 months now. The best way I can describe it is there’s a magnetic pull between us and we are drawn to each other when we are in the same room. After 7 months it is still as intense.

    We’ve struggled in other areas such as compatibility of our personalities. We’ve had to take a step back and slow down the relationship because I think the attraction and amazing sex can easily cloud things. My BF and I have known each other for a long time, his feelings towards me began while I was still married to my ex. I think because of our history, we have a strong desire to be together and try to work things out. Maybe this makes us an exception, but I do think that if two people want to be together they can find a way to make it work.

    #494468 Reply
    Melissa

    Yes Leila

    We are a bit like that too.

    There are actually a lot of reasons we won’t work out actuallyin the long term, so if I had the choice to feel this attraction for him or someone else I would choose someone else more obviously compatable in terms of many things.

    I have felt madly in love before, like I wanted to be with someone and talk to them all the time…but this is like a massive physical urge to touch him from the first day we met. Almost like a drug.

    I also feel the most intense mental connection with him, it’s so strange and nice but also uncomfortable.

    I don’t think this was because the sex is amazing (it is though) because I remember the first time he kissed me I was so unnattracted to him, and then he kissed me and I just went “Oh hello! there you are” and it was like we’d always been naked together. It felt both new and wonderful and old and comfortable at the same time.

    I don’t think I am in love – I don’t know him well enough, but we’re almost obsessed. I put the same laundry load on three times today because my head is in the clouds.

    He’s not a bad boy or anything, he’s lovely, but I just was wondering how on earth or why we both feel like this or if it means anything beyond just being physically drawn.

    #494475 Reply
    Andy

    When I was in my late 20’s, early 30’s, I could go 3 rounds with a girl several times a day if she’d let me. I was just really fit and super horny (higher levels of testosterone I guess). She loved the sex, and would say, “OMG, How do you do that?!?!?!”. She screamed so loud, I’m sure the neighbors could hear her, and surprised the cops never showed up. That lasted 2 years.

    The girl before here was the same way, but she drove me nuts with her jealousy that I had to part ways with her, but that steady for 4 to 6 months.

    #494496 Reply
    Rose

    They call it chemistry.

    I don’t know, I have extremely good chemistry with almost every guy I’ve had sex with.

    It’s also a combination of being comfortable with your body and liking his with all it’s flaws.

    #494508 Reply
    redcurleysue

    Physical chemistry. It can go off the charts.

    If you are both single and enjoy the sex it is great. It would be nice if you felt loving as well but sometimes we don’t get everything at the same time.

    Enjoy the ride…do not put your heart into it unless you feel you could love him and him you.

    #494513 Reply
    Mel

    Hey there! I can say I felt this too…very recently. It was like the movies when he kissed me, fireworks, stars, explosions whatever you call it. I legit realized I had never felt anything ever before in my life. I thought omg this is insane, my head spun and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. But I guess he wasn’t into me. Very dissapointing and hard to go on “looking” again when you feel like you’ll never get that feeling again. I mean I’ve kissed how many guys and never had the Big Bang as you say before. And he wasn’t even my type….wtf. Honestly if you have it, fkn hold onto it no matter what….if not it fkn sucks!

    #494527 Reply
    Melissa

    In this case I have genuinely thought I wasn’t going to like him. I knew he liked me, he was asking me for a date online for probably a year before I met him. I was THAT not bothered by the idea. Then I met him and BOOM.

    We live kind of far apart (around 2 hours) and I wasn’t looking to have a full on relationship right now and neither was he. Me because I got out of one last year that was an engagement and it sucked a lot and I am enjoying freedom, and him because he’s got the famous intimacy issues I guess.

    The passion is just crazy, mental, unexpected and completely out of control. We’re like seeing each other a lot, despite the distance, and despite saying we wanted casual it;s turning into whole weekends of staring into each other’s eyes.

    I guess from my end…yes…there could definitely be feelings but:

    1. I was a little concerned my “brain” might have been overtaken by the total lust factor.

    2. I was a little concerned for him it was just great sex.

    I mean, he messages me all day and makes a huge effort to be with me…I mean…he got off a plane after 8 hours travel the other day and went another two hours to come to my place even though he must have been totall exhausted because he couldn;t wait another minute.

    I don’t really want to get lost in all the passion if it’s just sex for him. I know men can be way diferrent. He’s no Mickey Rourke from 9.5 weeks (more like Ross from Friends ha ha! Science dork) but he has said it’s by far he’s never been so attracted to anyone in his life. I don’t want to run away with my mind reading into that.

    Also, strangely, I ALWAYS go for men where we have this really chilled dynamic where he makes me feel totally relaxed and I feel completely in control and we never argue.

    With this guy, it is like emotional fireworks too. I mean, we fight! We fight even in the first few weeks together to the point of not seeing each other – like playing a game of who needs who the least (insecurity) and then we literally go 3 or 4 days and HAVE to see each other again. Strangely we get on so well, SO well, but we also fight. It’s like he brings out this side of me that’s really defensive. I don’t think I like feeling such a strong and magnetic desire for someone that I am not in control and he totally fascinates me.

    It’s so weird.

    #494534 Reply
    Leila

    I agree with Mel if you got it, hold on to it! This is the first time I’ve felt this level of intensity. I’ve had guys I’ve slept with that had great chemistry, a lot of fun in the sack, a couple of sessions a day and all that good stuff. Hell, my ex husband and I used to have sex more than once a day. This is different. The fact that I am still drawn to him after 7 months. Being with him takes my breath away. His touch sets my skin on fire. We can’t keep our hands off each other and it’s completely mutual. For some odd reason, as much work as it is, having this sort of connection makes it all worth it. Like if 20 years from now when we’re in our late 50s and we’re still shagging like we’re in our 20s, that’s the kind of relationship I want, haha.

    #494537 Reply
    Melissa

    Urgh, glad you know what I mean then Leila.

    Without wanting to be TMI, I mean, we literally have sex and ready to go again 10 seconds later. We have injuries! We even have phone sex and two seconds later he is full on ready to go again and he says it’s ridiculous and he’s never been like that before. Me either. Just like you say his skin sets mine on fire. The way he smells, speaks, smiles, talks, what he says. There’s nothing mazing about him, but just amazing to me.

    I hope it does turn into a relationship, because I’d hate to stop feeling like this.

    #494545 Reply
    Leila

    I completely understand the fighting and clashing! (We live about 2 hours apart too, btw.) That’s how we were about two months in. The fighting kind of took over for a while. I ended it with him. The funny part is that I didn’t speak to him for 3 weeks. In my mind, that’s not really a relationship and in fact I had told him that I was moving on and I wasn’t going just take a break and wait around. When we started communicating again, his response was that he thought we never ended things to begin with. That first time we came back together, holy cow! It’s worse when you’ve taken a break from each other! I can count on one hand how many nights we’ve slept together without having sex and we’re both in our late 30s. So, yeah, I get it!

    #494550 Reply
    Melissa

    Leila that’s freaky.

    We also had the worst fights in the first two months. The fighting also took over for a while. I am SO easygoing normally but he just brings out the total fire in me. I also ended it (more than once at the start actually) but one big time we went three weeks and I thought we were really done and then we came back together even stronger than before. How strange that it mirrors your situation so much. Maybe all that passion ignites emotions as well as lust?

    We are better now, we learned a little from it, I am also late thirties, he is early thirties. I thought fighting was a bad thing, but it’s like we communicate so well even though it’s a little volatile. We don’t shout or anything, but it’s more like all feelings of doubt, jealousy, fear and all of that are enlarged along with the lust part so it creates this amazing storm of emotions.

    Fingers crossed I get to keep him and it grows into more. It feels sooooo great.

    #494561 Reply
    redcurleysue

    Clashing can be because of a power struggle. Both of you afraid to lose what you have found too.

    Remember, if you fight keep it about the issues and no personal attacks…those are deadly to a relationship. So keep it fair and clean.

    #494563 Reply
    Leila

    The fighting is as passionate as the rest of it, haha. Just the other night, I drove to see him because our schedules are crazy this month and we’re not going to really see each other for some time. I walked in the door and he was full of tension and frustration. Needless to say, we ended up getting into an argument and I just got and started packing my bags. He left the room for a minute and then came back in and walked kind of forcefully towards me. I turned away and was expecting the worse. He walked right up to me and said, “can we just start over?” I responded, “I would love that,” and he grabbed my face in his hands, kissed me, then he hugged me and apologized for hurting me. He’s not the apologizing kind of guy either. I’ve never had this kind of amazing, passionate, stop my heartbeat with anyone else before. Some days it scares the shit out of me!

    #494565 Reply
    Leigh

    What you guys are talking about is the the type of dating we should all have.

    God Bless you and enjoy every flippin’ minute if it. Well… You are!

    #494616 Reply
    Maria

    Melissa, I hate you. LOL

    Enjoy the effing thing to the fullest!!

    #494686 Reply
    Melissa

    Thanks guys, you’re right, I need to enjoy it for what it is while it lasts.

    It’s just a little hard not to overthink and worry about being hurt!

    I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world, not got a perfect body or anything and I keep wondering why the heck he wants ME so badly in particular.

    But you’re right…enjoy it!

    #494689 Reply
    hannah

    This is what I’d call a passionate fling. I’ve had them and they’re fabulous! Lots of fun and intensity!

    Just be realistic about what it is. It’s not love, it’s chemistry. It always seems to be with an “opposites attract” kind of person who’d never be a suitable life partner for me!

    #494707 Reply
    Leigh

    Melissa, you said “I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world, not got a perfect body or anything and I keep wondering why the heck he wants ME so badly in particular.”

    You are doing something that is driving him wild. Maybe it’s you being so humble with your thoughts about yourself. Men love that type of confidence. You don’t have to prove anything to him. You are who you are… awesome!!

    #494713 Reply
    Lekisha

    I would say, it’s a really rare and passionate chemistry, that can grow into the best/biggest loving relationships, true love. :)
    Enjoy it, and I agree with never attacking him with personal things, be always fair and loyal.

    Happy 2016 :)

    #494715 Reply
    soni

    Melissa what you talking about is not that common. I shld know am in my early forties. its happened just once to me. the things you have mentioned sound like my own story. not that I haven’t had relationships which were physically unsatisfactory. but what you describing is madness. it gets addictive. I had a relationship with that kind of chemistry for over 2 years!!

    your lucky to experience this. just njyyyy…

    #494723 Reply
    KateK

    This is interesting and I have had this too. I have dated guys where we really hit it off personality wise and I love spending time with them but there is no sexual spark… that hat happened a while back with a guy that I got on with so well… we laughed, liked the same things, he was tall, good looking, smart and funny but we were not a match sexually and I don’t even know why. The guy I have been seeing for two years now is my sexual match.. it is off the charts carnal, crazy and out of control. I love his smell, his hands, his hair, skin, voice and he’s the same about me. the chemistry is electric, ridiculous.

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