Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › "voluptuous" – is he politely calling me fat?
This topic contains 143 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Linda 6 years, 1 month ago.
Okay-I can’t take it anymore-Ruby you obviously want to say and think he called you fat-okay,go with that. It is like you will be satisfied with nothing less-in fact why stop with this forum-call the New York Times-this could be Bigger-pardon the pun-than the swearing in of the president! I wonder where L is when we need her?-lol.
It’s overwhelmingly used in a positive way. If he meant it as a compliment, take it.
I’ve been called voluptuous and I’m not even chubby. I’m like a EU size 36 top and a 38 max in pants. I just have a big waist-hip ratio which is always a good thing to men. I would not take it as an insult, especially if he meant to compliment you.
I absolutely hate being called that so I understand where you’re coming from. Every time someone has said it to me, it was a compliment. If it’s helps, I got called that and I’m a size 2, but have curves. So not fat. But he’s attracted to you.
This is either a fake post or this girl loves the drama. No sense continuing this thread. She is obviously getting a kick out of it and we keep playing into it. May be she wants us to tell her this guy did call her fat. I wonder how she would have responded then!
Being voluptuous is a fantastic thing to be! Take it as a compliment! And why would you date someone who has you immediately going to thinking he put you down?
Own your body! Be confident in what you have going for you and just assume that if someone doesn’t come out and say something mean, what they do say is a compliment.
Thank you for not being rude like so many others. I am confident in my body. Not to boast, but even if I wasn’t, I get hit on often so I must have something going for me lol. I just think voluptuous is at best a backhanded compliment
Georgia I couldn’t agree with you more. We sometimes do obsess over the parts of our body that make us feel insecure. Thinking back everyone who has ever called me voluptuous, curvy, bubble butt or whatever else they say has always been someone who I dated and physically that is what attracted them to me.
Ruby, I never said you were a troll poster. Reread my comment. You are reading what someone says and giving the worst interpretation.
The posts all follow the same pattern. The poster posts a problem, the poster then argues with all the advice givers and then accuses them of being mean to her and then brings up some past psychological issue or trauma to explain why she is overreacting to the problem.
They’re not necessarily fake posts. They may be legitimate problems. I would like to think so. But I think this person needs support from professionals, not us.
Well, that’s not my problem. I have never posted here before. Just because this post may follow some pattern, you shouldn’t assume they’re connected
If he’s dating you, he thinks you’re attractive. You sound insecure. You need to fix that, not get upset at other people for “making” you feel fat.
I think this person has a selfsteem problem and is just posting here so we tell her “you are not fat, you have big boons, etc…” don’t you have a grandmother? Or friends?
Seriously, even if you were fat, your boyfriend may like fat people, many guys do. Just do with your body what you want and don’t worry about what others think.
Stop being annoying. Are you the same person that complained about the flowers?
No I don’t have self esteem problems or fat problems, I have a douchebag boyfriend problem. If everyone stopped complaining on this stupid forum, what would you do all day if you couldn’t judge people?
Ruby if you had already decided your boyfriend was a douche bag and insulted you-why the hell did you need the opinions of people you were not going to listen to anyway? You sound like a piece-(fat or not, who knows or cares)-of work. Many people have found the feedback here to be useful and helpful. I am sorry you did not. Not that you have to listen or take advice -but you actually insulted those that honestly tried to help-not the other way around-us insulting you. You could have gracefully said thanks or no thanks-you are as much of a jerk really as you claim the opinion givers are.
No he didn’t insinuate you were fat. He called you voluptuous. A word used to describe Marylin Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor. Neither of them were fat.
No one has actually given advice, except for a couple people. All I’ve heard is “you’re insecure”repeatedly.Well,who isn’t from time to time. Doesn’t mean I live my life being insecure. If this is how you guys treat everyone that comes here seeking another perspective, I don’t see how anyone could find this helpful. I doubt most of you even want to help, you just want to sit back & pass judgement to make you feel better about your own lives
Keeping a Douchebag bf… another way of proving selfsteem
Another waste of time. Is this meemee? One of the other scorned? Because now it’s just a repeat of the same crap with an OP who ends up bashing everyone.
Ruby.. if you have problems with your BF, find another one who likes big chested fat girls, end of story.
I’m not a big chested fat girl BITCH & he wasn’t a douchebag until he made this stupid remark
Some women on here like to put others down… makes them feel better about themselves I’m guessing.
To me, this is a totally valid question and one that could definitely see my girlfriends and me dissecting over a glass of wine! That’s what girlfriends do. I’ve been called voluptuous and I’m a size 2 or 4. I took it to mean that I am curvy, feminine and sexy and felt it was a compliment. I think it means he likes your body and thinks you are sexy. He is probably not aware that it can be construed by some as fat. Take the compliment!
I am sorry but If the man Ruby is seeing read this thread he would probably run for the hills.
Katek, Everyone on her has already told her what you just told her and she wouldn’t accept it. Nobody was putting her down. I am voluptuous as well and I have been told that many times. It’s a matter of perspective. There is not much we can do if she has already made up her mind.
Thank you. Not everyone on here is horrible. :)
I probably should be asking this of men as they would have a better understanding of what a man would mean. This forum is one of the reasons why women get a reputation for being catty with each other. If people are regularly bashing you guys’input,then maybe it’s time for some deeper introspection of yourselves
I agree with Kate-Ruby you DID get advice-most said we thought he was giving you a compliment-and men do not always think like women do. I doubt if he thought you were fat, that he would have said that-and you said he was a great guy before the “remark”. I urge you to step back and take a day or so and then read these pages-especially the first couple, again. You may see things more clearly then. You are coming off as a nut case at this point.
I meant that I doubt he would have meant voluptulous as a euphemism for fat if he thought you were fat-he would not likely say that.
The most important opinion is the one you have of yourself.
I think he was trying to give you a compliment but, after all these pages you don’t see it as one.
I’m sorry to hear about you struggled with an eating disorder. Maybe it’s time to revisit seeking support. A simple word has caused a tail spin and I find that more alarming if anything.
Best of luck to you.