Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › "voluptuous" – is he politely calling me fat?
This topic contains 143 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Linda 6 years, 1 month ago.
Unfortunately, the comments Ruby made to L overshadow everything else in this thread. We define ourselves by how we behave in moments of discomfort and challenge.
And if that is true, it revealed some very ugly truths about the OP. That was not a display of strength and self-defense, it was a below the belt shameful attack.
That is the kind of behavior that deserves banning here.
L has absolutely been a bully, at least this time. She didn’t offer one bit of advice or constructive criticism. Nothing, just jabs at my weight, when she doesn’t even know what I look like. Yes, the racial stuff is below the belt but what kind of cold bitch makes constant fat jokes to someone with a eating disorder? That is below the belt as well. I’d say we’re about even
If you are ‘multi racial’ you should be the last person to be tossi out racial slurs.
You are an ugly person based on your actions and your attitude. Good luck in life with that. Classless.. and frankly minimizes whatever problem you think you have.
People tried to help you you and instead of embracing it you insulted and got racially and verbally abusive.
I am done posting and listening to Ruby’s particular brand of crazy-I sincerely mean it when I say Ruby-you need help and therapy. You will alienate and drive even good guys (as he likely is) away from you with this irrational attitude. You are really hurting yourself.
If you truly believe that someone else’s perceived bad behavior is a justification for you to behave even more crudely, you do not begin to understand the concept of being an empowered woman.
Why would you internalize something a stranger said (someone you admitted) has never seen and doesn’t know you. If you step back, you realize how ridiculous it is to get yourself upset when you acknowledge that. So you allow a complete stranger to “trigger” you, one that has no idea who you are, or what you look that. That is the irony here.
You didn’t get even. Nothing was “even” about the remarks you made, they were disgusting and fly in the face of everything decent.
I was not the first one to be verbally abusive BUT I’m the only one that’s wrong? Really?
I probably don’twant to go back and read all of this, do I?
Not unless you love banging your head against the wall with frustration. Algo! I am done with it.
The scariest part is that she referenced post partum.. so some poor child has her for a mother!
I don’t know where you live Ruby, but where I come from, if you used that word at your work, you’d be sacked. If you used it on public transport, someone would publicly shame you. If you used it trying to get medical care you’d be refused treatment. Honestly I’ve never heard anyone use that word ever! I once heard the N word and nearly fell over!
I’m not racist because I’m not white doesn’t cut it with me. You don’t have to be white to be racist. If you use a racial slur, you’re branding yourself a racist. That means you should be treated like one.
I think once we post here in this forum, seeking for pieces of advice or any outside thoughts, we should have an open mind on what the others would say.. that’s the main reason why we post here (as an OP), right? Sometimes, hearing the things we don’t want to hear definitely hurts but it’s what we need to hear for us to ‘wake’ up. If we go here and ask people what they think and not accept what they will have to say and take their words against them then we should be mature enough to know that this is the wrong platform for us.
One thing we all need to have and understand before we read on in this website is to have respect. There are times we need to be harsh or frank with our words but let’s not forget to have a respectful tone. We all came from different backgrounds thus having different beliefs on certain things ( i.e. Love and relationships, sex, when to have sex, ghosting and the list goes on…) so we should respect and digest what everyone will say. There will definitely be arguments but again it’s not for us to bash each other and ‘win’ but for us to have an open mind, understand and respect each point given. It’s so hard to have a healthy argument with someone who’s close minded so if things like this happen, let go. I really want to believe that most of the women who give pieces of advice here are strong, confident and mature women who went through lot that’s why they can provide such helpful thoughts. To those who are just giving fun and sarcastic comments, well thank you too because sometimes a topic can get too serious and we need a little laugh but again be respectful. To those who are being a ‘b*tch, well let them be, if they feel happy being that then so be it. Women who are strong and confident don’t allow anyone, even a ‘b*tch’s comment, put them down. Hell, they don’t even argue with someone who has an unpleasant attitude or mindset, they know how to pick battles. We can’t push our own beliefs into someone who’s close minded, that’s just the way it is. Let’s accept that fact.
I love this forum, I really do but when I read comments like what I’ve read in here, it’s so sad. Ladies, and gents, come on our own lives are already chaotic itself let’s not make it worse, yeah? Peace and love everyone. Peace and love. Xx
I can’t believe my post was compared to this you got to be kidding me
the bimbo K. Kardashian is considered voluptuous
She paid a lot of money for that look
He thinks you have a sexy body
Hi Nissa-yes we were reminded of Ruby by your post-wake -up call for you.
Nissa, the nonstop arguing and defensiveness over something silly is what caused the comparison.
Not the racism and abusive and degrading tone.
I would say you’re not the same poster, but I can see the comparison that I mentioned,
Sorry Nissa, I agree with Shannon, you may not be Rubi but my goodness! You came on here seeking advice and asking if you overreacted, when you didn’t like the responses you got because they were not what you expected you became argumentative and defensive. I have been posting on here on and off for the past two years. People have said some pretty mean things to me but I understand that I am going to get different opinions. I don’t have to follow anyone’s advice but I’m certainly not going to argue with anyone on here. It’s a waste of energy, you accomplish nothing and you still don’t resolve your issue. If you don’t like the advice you received just stop responding.