"voluptuous" – is he politely calling me fat?

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  • #594151 Reply

    A guy that I’m seeing described me as voluptuous. I instantly got upset & took it as him calling me fat, which I’m not. Do men use words like this to politely imply that a woman is fat?

    Ruby’s behavior (as well as some other posters) in this thread was shameful and thankfully she never returned to this forum again. This thread took place during a time when the forum was largely unmoderated. So to be clear: Many posts were deleted here due to behavior which is absolutely unacceptable here.

    #594153 Reply


    #594155 Reply

    No I’m not fat. If I was it would make sense. I wouldn’t be curious about what he meant

    #594156 Reply

    No one can read his mind. If you aren’t fat, why worry? Look the word up. It can be used to call a fat woman sexy or it can just be a word used to say you are sexy.

    Why do women look for problems where there are none?

    #594157 Reply
    Been there Done that

    Well… maybe he doesn’t know how to use words properly or didn’t know the exact meaning of it ;) but I would say voluptuous is said in a flirty way not to take it personally. You should be confident about yourself. Getting mad at the other person shows your insecurities.

    #594158 Reply

    Not sure, what this guy meant. May be may be not. I’m curvy and when I was younger I used to get offended when people would point out my butt because I was self conscious about it. I have since realized it’s not necessarily a bad thing. We all have something about our bodies that we may not be too happy with. Just embrace it and don’t get upset over what people say. He is seeing you so he is obviously attracted to you.

    #594160 Reply

    Voluptuous is a compliment. It implies curves, health, and a host of other positive things. FAT is an insult that we as women feel is synonymous with ugly. I would embrace his compliment and take it positively and feel good about yourself. You only get one body, you might as well love it and embrace it.

    #594169 Reply


    So you’re saying voluptuous is a positive way to reference fat?

    #594172 Reply

    Voluptuous is generally a compliment.
    Particularly given to “well-endowed” (T&A) women. Would you say you fall into that category?

    Regardless, he wasn’t calling you fat, there is such a thing as a healthy build, a lot of men don’t like twigs, that doesn’t mean you’re fat, it means you’re not a twig. He didn’t mean anything bad by it, don’t read so much into it.

    #594187 Reply

    He probably meant it as a compliment and might not know how to use the word right. If it is a one-off thing don’t worry about. And yes, sometimes it is a way to positively call someone fat, but not always. Without more context we can’t know what he meant.

    #594188 Reply

    Omg! Do you really think the man is going to call you fat? A man tries to compliment and a woman can’t just accept it and move on.

    If you are so concerned, than ask him what he meant. It would be a stupid move, but then again, no one on here can tell you why he called you this.

    If you are not fat, why would you think he meant it that way?

    #594191 Reply


    How is that a compliment, unless referencing a fat girl? I’m not skinny but I’m not fat. That doesn’t mean someone else couldn’t think that I am. There is not one universal image of fat. Voluptuous is a fat girl compliment!!

    #594192 Reply

    Do you have big breasts and big butt with curves? Doesn’t make you fat, necessarily, but voluptuous.

    Ash, there’s many body types in between twig (hate that word to describe women) and voluptuous.

    #594198 Reply

    I read somewhere is that one thing men HATE about women is their inability to accept compliments.

    You are coming across as WAY insecure. He meant it as a compliment. You had found a way to turn it into an insult in your mind.

    In this day and age, whether they admit it or not, most men prefer women on the heavier side. I struggle with my weight and I’ve found that when I’m down where I am supposed to be weight wise I lose my breasts and butt and men think I’m too skinny.

    He finds you attractive. Voluptuous is a way of telling you he finds you sexy and alluring and attractive. You are taking it to mean you are fat. Go on a diet and then turn into a skeleton and see who finds you attractive then.

    Who calls what your weight is? If you’re happy with yourself and your man thinks you’re hot, why are you trying to find a hidden weight based insult in there?

    He clearly is attracted to you. Do you know what men don’t find attractive? Insecurity. STOP.

    #594200 Reply

    Ruby, like I told you earlier I have the big butt and the big breasts. I’m not thin and I’m not fat. I am curvy and, voluptuous and when I was young I was very self conscious just like you are. I have realized that the boobs and ass aren’t going anywhere anytime soon and I now love my body. Everyone on here has told you that voloptous doesn’t mean fat but you seem to have already made up your mind about it and have chosen to be upset at this guy for calling you that. Not sure what else we can tell you.

    #594202 Reply


    It was a compliment! Mae West (a famous actress) was “voluptuous” as was Marilyn Monroe! You are what men refer to as “dramatic” where you take something they said and trying twist it around into something its not.

    If he didn’t think you were attractive and sexy (his way of saying it) then he wouldn’t be dating you! You really need to learn how to stop being so defensive.

    #594205 Reply

    @Ruby, do you looke like Kim Kardashian? She has big boobs and big butt. Some would say she’s fat and some would say she’s beautiful. So you don’t want to be called fat then take it as beautiful. Don’t like what the guy says, don’t go out with him. Simple.

    #594207 Reply

    It’s not about how I want to take ut

    #594208 Reply

    It’s not about how I WANT to take it, it’s about what he MEANT by it

    #594209 Reply

    Then go to the gym and lose weight! You obviously think the worst, so be it.

    #594210 Reply

    I don’t want to lose weight, thank you. I like my body, I just want him to as well. Is that asking for so much?!

    #594212 Reply

    It means big boobs

    #594213 Reply

    If he didn’t why is he with you?
    Are you always this insecure and dramatic?

    #594214 Reply

    If you feel that he is not attracted to you then stop dating him. Be with someone who is attracted to you. And hopefully you are not basing it on that one comment. Like they say, you have no control over what people say or do. The only thing you have control over is how you react to it. You can either choose to be ok with it or not.

    #594216 Reply

    Ruby are you 15 years old?

    Did you bother to look up the word?

    Here is the definition: I just googled it, which is something you could have done before you got your panties in a wad.

    Definition of voluptuous

    full of delight or pleasure to the senses
    conducive to or arising from sensuous or sensual gratification
    luxurious <a voluptuous dance> <voluptuous ornamentation> <a voluptuous wine>
    suggesting sensual pleasure by fullness and beauty of form <voluptuous nudes>

    Grow up!

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