"voluptuous" – is he politely calling me fat?

I was just seeking outside input, that doesn’t make me insecure or dramatic. I don’t know why everyone on here wants to verbally beat me up. Years ago, I struggled with eating disorder issues, so naturally I’m sensitive to comments about my body. What he said triggered something. Geez, is everyone on here always so nasty?

@Tam

How can anyone be sure that I “took it the wrong way”?

We can’t. Like I said, how would anyone on here possibly know if he was complimenting or insulting you?

You asked a bunch of strangers for opinions and guesses.

This sounds like a bigger issue than just this one comment, if you are acting this extreme, you may want to talk to a therapist. We can debate all day if you took what he said the right way. But at the end of the day, it made you feel bad about yourself and nothing we can say will change that. You need reassurance from the BF. Or you need therapy support to figure out how to deal with ‘triggers’ that set you off.

Eating disorders are no joke and so if you feel it’s making you go to dark places, this isn’t the place to find support about that.

Ruby-you are being ridiculous-many women on here -including me ,think he was complimentary and thinks you are sexy. Why are you arguing-if you want to think he thinks you are fat-although there is no evidence you are fat, or that he thinks so-go ahead. You are in the drama zone and coming off as very insecure. Perhaps you should not be dating if you can’t even take a simple compliment at face value. I am not one to be nasty or mean-but this kind of response from some OP’s is very frustrating!

Hi Peggy, out of context but what does OP mean? Haha :p

Our work is done then. Good luck to you.

Ruby-There is not just one way to be sexy or attractive-he would not be with you,I would imagine,if he was not attracted to you. Go ahead just label him a jerk and break up with him then, and you can sulk and pout about how mean he was to you-YES I am being sarcastic. This is all on you-either accept him and his words, or leave him, or tell him he hurt your feelings and he will be baffled and bewildered and see your insecurity.

@vanessa

Fair enough.

I was struggling to phrase my response in a way that imparts “voluptuous” isn’t a bad thing.
Evidently, I still ended up phrasing poorly.

I hate to say it, but I am seeing a definite pattern with some of the posts in here. I don’t think they’re fake posts or troll posts. I do think it’s the same poster who needs more support than we can give.

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“I am taking is “compliment” at face value. Voluptuous = fat. By definition, it implies largeness”
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@Ruby:

This is why some of the women here are getting irritated. Because the majority have told you that it’s a compliment and you don’t have to worry, but you don’t listen to what they say, you spin their words to interpret the worst. You’re not taking things at face value, you’re over-analyzing and beating yourself up.

This is why you seem insecure and dramatic, because no matter what they say, you still take it as he’s calling you fat. You’re hearing what you want to hear, not what is actually being said.

I just always think of big boobs when I hear voluptuous. You’ve been asked several times if you happen to have a large chest, do you? If so, this is very likely what he was referring to.

I meant AND the world is heavier…the new normal practically.

I wouldn’t say I have a large chest, 38C,thats medium. I mean I don’t look like a little boy or anything.I mean unless someone is obviously obese, “fat”can be subjective. One person’s fat is another person’s thick. I don’t think I’m fat, doesn’t mean that he agrees