Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Should I be upset?
This topic contains 129 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Jenna 4 years, 1 month ago.
to show how busy he is… don’t be so overly sensitive…
I am glad you work st a good univ and I don’t consider that a brag at all…
Off the topic a bit here… so I will stop here
yes, off topic. best of luck to both you Sisi and OP.
Yes this has gone totally out of control. Normally when a girl gets anxious about her guy not replying within a few hours we (you) say relax. Lets sit back and see what the guy does. Now here we got a girl who found her wits back and you all want to trample on her. Go get a life. If i have to predict the long term status between Tiffany and money maker herpes guy with a bad ex, i go with Tiffany
I posted here for advice a while ago and gotcthe answers me and my guy are not compatible. That wasnt my question and besides that i was intelligent enough to view the compatible issue. Since im, well intelligent.
Now you keep on bashing Tiffany for what? Pretty much for Belng chill and understanding. She might be right, she might be wrong, but it doesnt excuse all the awefull responses she got
But to add something constructive. Tiffany its really easy to tell your guy you like him to do something. Just tell him
It’s really easy to make a mess in someone else’s house isn’t it? All I see is a lot of big egos talking down to Tiffany to build themselves up.
“This type of a guy would never be my BF. But then this type of a guy would never be interested in me either LOL”
It takes real character for a man to have an affair with a married woman, Emma. How can you even write this fiction with a straight face? I’m sure your sleazy guys are pillars of the community who treat you with the utmost respect. Tiffany, count your blessings your guy isn’t up to Emma’s “standards”.
“Someday he will run into a girl, who will call him out for bad behavior, and who will walk if he DARE to treat her any less…. And guess what, all of a sudden, he will find her so attractive and find you so boring… That is just how attraction works….”
Quiet everyone! Sisi has spoken. Sisi, go clean up the mess in your own house.
“I have a very busy BF whose work hourly rate is $895 per hour, so he is busy…But I never have to wait more than 4-5 hours to hear back, most of the time it is within 30 minutes.”
Too bad most of that hourly rate you found ever so important to mention goes to his ex wife…”That is just how divorce works…”
“Not that I am needy, but he won’t leave me hanging. Also he enjoys communicating with me so much that he will find time for it..He is also probably worried that he does not treat me as a top priority, other men will…”
Ha! He enjoys communicating so much with his ex wife too that he does it over candle lit dinners.
Your stories can be twisted the same as you are twisting Tiffany’s story. Nobody has to bow down to your words. Give it up and put your egos away. You aren’t fooling anyone. Clean up your own hot mess lives instead of spreading it around.
Kim THANK YOU! I’m not even gonna bother reading anybody elses’ Comments on this. I realized asking a question on here was a big mistake!
Kim thank you so much. Everybody is bashing me lol!!
Also Newbie thank you for your kind words. I don’t know why people fight on this forum lol…
Maybe you’ll read just one more… this one haha.
You’re welcome! I was so tired of the drama getting shoved down your throat! You are doing what is good for you. That’s how it should be. People love to push and say it’s for your own good. They aren’t anywhere to be found to pick up the pieces if you go against what you feel is right for you and listen to them and everything falls apart. Oh hell no… they have moved on to their next power trip.
We all get anxious from time to time. That’s not a reason to give in to it and scrap everything. You were smart enough to realize this. You have the tools to be successful in a relationship. I’m glad you didn’t trade your working tools for the broken tools some people tried to pawn off on you!
Kim – sorry my other posts made you so angry…. was not my intent…
But with the help from this site and all the sound advise , I made the best decision of my life , I get over the fact that he has herpes, I got over the fact that he pays ex $200k a year in alimony , I got over the fact that he went to ex to fix internet and had dinner…
And now I am in a happy and stable relationship w a man who truly cares about me and want to make me happy..
Thanks girl! Yeah everybody kinda made it sound like they just knew me and my relationship… I went and said should I be upset? I was kind of looking for advice and maybe a pick me up…. from now on I will not be asking more questions on here lol! It’s almost like everybody replies to make themselves feel better? Kinda odd…. but I would like to stop this topic please guys! It’s been a looooong time and I will more than likely see him this weekend! Lol
Omg Kim 😆
Why do I feel like I’ve just attended a meeting of the Harper Valley PTA?
1 they are a year in and established some routines and quietness
2 in every other case women suggest a woman to calm down and let the guy come to her (look at the basket case post ‘should i call him’)
3 it has been clearly established that the guy is a bad texter meaning he probably doesnt like to chit chat over text
4 it has been clearly established that the guy is busy and doing a heavy physical program
5 it has been established in general that you cant do your guy a bigger favour than to give him mancave time without bitching about it. Doing that Naturally works even better
6 most guys dont like short leashes. Many women dont either
7 Tiffany doesnt sound unbalanced, doormatty but like a girl/woman with a good head on her shoulders. Unlike many other posters who are so desperate to find love they put up with anything
And yet for some ofd reason Tiffany gets scolded for Being with a lousy bf. And again: she didnt ask anyone to evaluate her relationship. And thats why i found many responses here to bizarre
Hi, Tiffanny. Becareful.
If this is the first time it happens it’s ok. But it’s not ok, when It turns an habit to ignore you and give priority to his activities and friends. YES! We all need our personal space to do our stuff, but becareful he won’t turn that attitute into an habit.
Hi again everyone I wanted to do a quick update… he texted me last night apologizing that he’s been so distant the academy has his attention right now. He’s going to see me this weekend but he explained what his days are like and I couldn’t even begin to imagine.
So thank you everyone!
So he gone on 2 weekends without seeing you and without advance communication either, did I get the fact correct or not?
Yes I didn’t see him for two weeks? And…. your point is? Sometimes I can’t see him for 2/3 weeks because I have midterms or finals for school that I need to focus on. But all in all he knew he was being distant which is why I got anxious and started this topic…
Not sure what you’re trying to get at here Sisi!!
What I was getting at is extremely straight forward: I wont tolerate a man to treat me like that, but if you are OK, then that is fine…The problem is not cant see each other for 2-3 weeks, I have that in my relationship too… The problem is no communication about it
Oh gotcha. To each their own Sisi! I don’t mind not communicating everyday. I was just anxious but everything is good now…. he apologized about ignoring me
Do you enjoy stirring up trouble Sisi? Tiffany gave an update and you pounced. She is capable and smart enough to make her own decisions on how she feels and what she wants from a relationship. She had an anxious moment… stop dwelling on that to satisfy your own agenda. I’m sure if there would be a time she feels things aren’t right she will take steps to do what is right for her. Unless that happens, stop being a vulture!
Tiffany, I’m sorry if I’m overstepping on your territory. I just cannot stand the assumption you or anyone else is living in clueless oblivion if you don’t knuckle under and say, “Yes, you are right. I’m nothing to him but a convenient lay.” It’s actually sick how much that is pushed. It’s the one size fits all answer instead of any real input for each individual situation.
My best friend is a senior moderator on a respected forum. Her forum has gained recognition for its content standards and has been written about in a number of publications and noted on several news programs. I’d say that gives her view some credibility. I’ve asked her to read threads on here. Her response was that the level of toxicity by some is off the charts.
Your friend, like all these forums preys in peoples emotions. I don’t put much stock into being written about in publications. People actually HIRE publicists to give them cred. Or they have contacts who are willing to showcase them. I can name tons of people who have been noted for their expertise that are not good programs or services. If you find this forum so toxic I don’t know why you hang around except you like the others you criticize like to read and write bad advice and witness human suffering. I have been in a few relationships where the man always put me on hold. It was so unsettling. Always wondering when I would see him and jump like Pavlov’s dog at the call or text. oP says she is ok with this but she was anxious enough about this great stable relationship to seek out a forum and ask for advice over one missed text message. Women do a great job of rationalizing men’s actions to fit what makes them comfortable in their head. After a full year together there should be no anxiety about calling your boyfriend to see what’s up and if you are going to see each other. She is afraid of double texting for Christ’s sake! Maybe it’s generational but younger people have no clue how to communicate with each other and think a text is the end all be all. I have been with extremely busy men who travel that never failed to make contact at least once a day to foster the relationship. It’s called caring and looking out for your partner. If OP wants to fake her real feelings that’s on her. Most questions posted here are not really about the reason thr woman posts. His lack of response made her feel neglected and disrespected. And she showed him by not saying something about it that he can get away with this again because there is such a thing as being too easy. I have to agree gaming and Facebook may be good to reduce stress but if that’s a priority over her this won’t change in the future. This pattern will become old over time. I’m not saying he’s using her, but he sure as heck isn’t viewing her as highimportance in his life and that may be the state of the relationship. It’s dating and not a real relationship where you integrate in each other lives.
Kim you’re my new best friends lol!! Thanks for standing up for me! I don’t think people quite get it… people slip up?!? I’ve done some things in this relationship that are also just like this… if that makes any sense! He admitted to it. Like I said he is a bad texter, I don’t want him to text me EVERYDAY! That is honestly a huge turn off for me!! I just feel like we are at a point in our relationship where things have gotten very comfortable which isn’t a bad thing at all!
Kim you’re the best thank you!
Hello, you made valid points about being put on hold. That doesn’t mean those points apply in everyone’s situation.
There should be no anxiety? Anxiety can happen after 20 years together. It’s rather interesting to put this out. Where do you think a lot of texting or calling anxiety comes from? Many people who like to say there shouldn’t be any anxiety are the same ones who push all the “rules” about don’t text, don’t contact him, if he doesn’t contact you… forget it, don’t, don’t, don’t! Someone’s first inclination may be to pick up the phone and communicate, until all the “don’t you dare or you’ll ruin everything because you don’t value yourself” echoes come rushing in. That’s enough to make anyone question themselves. After they have followed this supposedly golden advice, they get told they are bad communicators who don’t value themselves.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t huh?
There’s a time and place for applying different actions. The problem is when cliché advice get slapped on at any juncture.
I don’t think Forbes operates on hired publicists giving credit but then again, what do I know? Well, I only know what a PsyD has taught me.
Tiffany, no thanks needed but you are very welcome! Keep doing what is right for you. You have your act together and know how to balance. Keep true to yourself and best of luck in everything!
Thanks Kim! I’m working towards my PsyD as well!!!
And i was trying so hard to become your best friend. And then Kim comes along😂 nah i think Kim is right. You are smart enough to make your own choices.
But i have the golden tip: buy an Xbox. It enriches your life in so many ways