I got too clingy and he dumped me..how to get him back?

I had liked him for years and never thought anything would happen.
I also suffer from depression but it’s been ok lately.
Anything can trigger me into a bad spell.
I don’t really have any family left and my friends are all married with kids.
I thought maybe he could be someone who would look after me and care about me.
I thought he had some feelings.

You do not need a therapist. Have a good cry, scream about it into your pillow if you have to, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, fix your makeup, and keep marching on. Your attitude will change when you meet someone else. You are not lost without love forever. It sucks that it didn’t happen the way you hoped it would. Count it as a blessing because there is a guy out there who will love and cherish you, not eff you over emotionally like he has. You’re going to be ok. It’s going to take a little time, but you are going to come out of this a little stronger and a little wiser.

I know exactly how you feel. I was in a similar situation. I knew the guy for years and got so excited when he started messaging me. I got caught up in my emotions and all the fantasies about him came flooding back. It was so surreal to see it was actually happening. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven. I ignored all the red flags and held onto the tiny amount of good. I held onto this illusion he was perfect for me, in my mind that it would work. We came from similar situations in life good and bad. Everything he went through, I went through. I literally felt him when he wasn’t around. I had my phone on silent and knew exactly when he would message me. Despite all those red flags it just felt so right to me. But He was pulling the same stunts as your guy did. Being a jerk, seeing how much he could get away with. Talking to other women. Hardly ever messaging me or even care. I played it too cool accepting whatever came at me blinded by rose colored glasses because I had wanted him so bad. I accepted him for who he was. I selfishly didn’t care he was in a bad emotional state. I wanted to be next to him, help him forget, and focus on us. I felt so very comfortable next to him more than I had with any man. I got lost in fantasy about having amazing times together, having our kids meet and famously get a long because of how much they’re a like. I adored his son and hoped with me around he would start feeling better about himself. he totally hates himself. The only time he messaged me was in the evening booty call. He made me wait 10 minutes outside his front door one night after he gave me the ok to come over. My guess when he did message me was only when all the other options were busy. I’ll tell you from first hand experience, (I’ve experienced quite a few times) the reality is never as good as the fantasy.