Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › He is interested or just flirting
- This topic has 9 replies and was last updated 1 year, 5 months ago by
olivia turner.
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Janie
I work in a building that has multiple companies on one floor. There is a guy from another company that works a few offices down that i see on a daily basis whether it be grabbing coffee from the kitchen, working in the common area, etc. At first he wasn’t very friendly, actually he didn’t say anything to me at all. But as time went on, we slowly talked more and more and even grew to a friendly banter.
Within the last 2 weeks or so, our friendly banter has turned to out right flirting. He says things like he is sad if he doesn’t see me in the morning like usual, asking if my day is better when i see him, and little things like that. There are so many little examples but too much to write.
The problem is, last week after 2 days of heavy flirting, he comes into work monday and tells me he had a date when i ask how his weekend was. he also made a joke like “do you have a friend for me”. Now i’m totally confused because he doesn’t seem like an f boy, he has done so many things that prove he is a great guy that sticks to his word and many other good characteristics. It’s just hard because I actually like him and am getting mixed signals. I have made reference to the fact we should hang out at least twice but he has yet to ask me to do something.
He also made a reference to me texting him yet i don’t have his phone number and he hasn’t asked me for mine. I think i’m confused as to whether or not he’s interested in me or just likes flirting. Also, why flirt then ask if i have any friends for you? Very confusing
Peggy
Hi Janie. This all just sounds like friendly banter to me. I don’t think it means more than that. If he wanted to date you,he would ask you out or take your offers. He would not tell you he has dates etc. Forget this is anything more than friendly chatter.
Raven
“he also made a joke like “do you have a friend for me”.
– He was not joking, sorry…AngieBaby
“Now i’m totally confused because he doesn’t seem like an f boy, he has done so many things that prove he is a great guy that sticks to his word and many other good characteristics.”
You are WAY too easily impressed – you hardly know this guy.
“It’s just hard because I actually like him and am getting mixed signals. I have made reference to the fact we should hang out at least twice but he has yet to ask me to do something. He also made a reference to me texting him yet i don’t have his phone number and he hasn’t asked me for mine. I think i’m confused as to whether or not he’s interested in me or just likes flirting.”
There’s nothing to be confused about. He hasn’t asked for your number, much less asked you out – that means he’s not really interested. It doesn’t even sound like he’s flirting. You’re reading way too much into him and what the chitchat means, especially since he asked if you have a friend for him. No guy who’s even remotely interested in you would say that, even as a joke.
Be more discerning about who and how fast you start “liking.”
Janie
I guess I don’t understand why someone would reference texting them but not ask for your number. Also he made references to a trip I’m taking and asking why didn’t I invite him, suggesting we should go. I have many male friends and none of them say the things he says or reference things in the way he does.
Liz Lemon
You dont know this guy, so you have no idea if he’s a f*ckboy, or what his character is like (saying he’s such a great guy, etc).
Actually he does sound like a f*ckboy to me– asking you why you didn’t invite him on your trip, saying you should text him when he knows damn well you don’t have his number. “He says things like he is sad if he doesn’t see me in the morning like usual, asking if my day is better when i see him, and little things like that.” That’s flirting in my book, especially in an office environment where people have to be careful what they say (or they can be accused of sexual harassment).
So he’s playing with you, flirting with you, then messing with your head by asking if you have a friend for him. So actually he IS a f*ckboy.
If he were interested in you, you’d know, believe me. He’d ask for your number, take you to lunch, take you for coffee, etc. This guy isn’t interested, he’s just messing with your head.
AngieBaby
This is semantics, but I’d call it baiting more than flirting. IMO he’s testing you to see if you’ll do the work to chase him. If you will, he knows he’s likely to get easy NSA sex. I’d avoid him from now on and keep your conversations short if you can’t avoid him. This isn’t going anywhere good.
There are a few universal truths I’ve learned from being on this site and one is there is absolutely no such thing as “mixed signals.” If you’re not clear or confused about a guy’s intentions towards you, it’s because he’s not interested or not serious. If a guy likes you and is really interested, he will make definitive moves. Even the shy ones will screw up the courage to act if they want to.
I’m with Liz, this guy IS a f*ck boy.
Ewa
I agree with the ladies, he is a big player, avoid him please
Maddie
You may not work for the same company, but you still work in close proximity to each other and see each other every day. I agree with the others that he’s not really interested or he’d ask you out directly. He sounds like he enjoys your company and attention, and flirting with you, but I have a feeling he doesn’t want to get romantically involved with someone he sees every day at work. I’d recommend you don’t either unless you know a guy is REALLY looking for something serious with you and you have options to not see him constantly if things don’t work out. Being in that situation requires a lot of maturity in addition to strong mutual interest in making it work, neither of which he’s shown you. It’s not worth it to pursue in this situation, and I’m generally against office relationships after once getting involved with a f*ckboi at work myself. So much unnecessary stress and emotional fallout seeing him all the time over what turned out to be something casual, though we kept it very quiet so it didn’t impact our careers. You don’t need that during your workday.
olivia turner
I agree with the women here; he is a major player; please avoid him.
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