Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › FWB dumped me
This topic contains 195 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Deb 3 years, 9 months ago.
I didn’t act needy or desperate or clingy. I went away with friends etc he never knew what i was doing.
He did dump me as he met someone. But he is total jack ass. He behaves horribly and is moody. Just wait until his real behaviour comes out.
Your instincts are 100 PERCENT ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! DO NOT CONTACT HIM.
Khadija is right. Come here and vent instead. Also, read some of the articles on the side bar that Eric has posted.
I said this to him:
You started acting as if you really liked me from December onwards asking me out at Christmas saying you’d kiss me better when I was sick
I didn’t like you until you started that. Why did you do it if you genuinely weren’t interested.
Way too much..do not text him anymore.
He is now with someone else and the last thing you want to look like is the woman who can’t let go. That text message was not helpful to the situtation because if he gives a response it will not change the outcome for you.
As I stated before take this an opportunity to learn and be smarter about dating.In the long run if you do, this will allow you to find a better match for you and you’ll be a happoer person for it.
Don’t waste anymore time contacting someone who is not interested in being in a relationship with you. While you are spending all this energy on them, they are out with the person they want to be with enjoying life( not menant to be harsh).
Here’s a little secret most women FORGET about…the more you text a man who doesn’t want to hear from you, the worse you feel and the more distant he gets and realizes HE DID THE RIGHT THING BY BREAKING IT OFF WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE TURNED INTO THE PSYCHO NUTCASE WOMAN!!!
I KNOW my boyfriend loves me, but I STILL don’t act all texty-crazy…Until he marries me, I’m doing the 80% him contacting and 20% me initiating. I live my life the way I did when he was dicking around with his little girlfriend who was the one that turned into the psycho nutcase woman and acted just like you.
He hated it, he ran right back to me. Take my advice. Don’t contact this guy anymore. Forget about him and as Khadija said, learn the lessons from this encounter with the opposite sex and figure out how to date better. Read all the articles that tell you how to be a smart dater and a better partner.
I did this after our first break up and he still came back.
He’s cheated on every gf he has ever had. He has terrible moods. I dont think this one will be any exception. He will cheat again.
Here’s an article that Sabrina wrote that really hits it on the nail. Just go up to the “Love Advice” button on top of the page and find this article and read it.
10 Things Confident People Do Differently in Dating and Relationships
If more women followed Sabrina’s advice, they won’t be here asking the same questions and making the same mistakes over and over again.
He was replying to me and he said he was an idiot and he was sorry he made me feel that way.
I miss being friendly too.
STOP texting him. Seriously, move on.
He is a “jack ass”, he cheats in every relationships, he has mood swings??!!! WHAT about this guy is attractive to you. What if he had wanted to be with you… you would want to be with someone who treats women this way?
Sweetie, please. Just stop reaching out to him, be GRATEFUL this is over, and move on entirely. If he reaches out to you, it will only be for sex. There are plenty of other men available for that. Don’t reply to him.
Ok so what do i do about my things. Just leave them.
I don’t know. ….when we were together he was lovely to me.
We were in touch mainly as friends for over a year. I wonder if he’ll miss me.
I guess not.
Are these things that you can replace? If so, leave them.
More often than not, the “things” are minor that can be replaced. Don’t use it as an excuse to reconnect. Unless it something that truly has sentimental value (like a gift from a loved one) or was ridiculously expensive and is hard to replace, let it go.
If you insist on getting your stuff back, arrange for a friend to get it for you on your behalf. That way you can avoid seeing him.
Stop wondering about how he feels about you. Right now he has met someone else and he is thinking about her. That is the harsh reality. Sure, he will miss you when he’s bored or when his new relationship doesn’t work out, or when he wants sex. Does that make you feel good to hear?
Unless it was a rare family heirloom…let this go.
Also, you just mentioned some very unflattering personality traits about him. I’m curious as to why you would want him to come back to you?
Do you not value yourself enough to want better?
Just sit with that for a while.
He was lovely to you?
Nothing about his behavior sounds lovely, in fact he does not sound like a lovely man at all.
Aren’t you reading this material or are you just that desperate for his affections, I mean he isn’t the last man on this earth.
I never had a relationship with a man that I felt I had to manipulate the dating to get the relationship, it always came about because the guy liked me and pursued me and whoever I was BEING, in that dating scenario, was a woman that man liked. I never had to implement games or pretend because I never set out a mission to get a guy to fall for me, I was deciding if I liked him. Anytime I did not operate on that level in dating, the dating scenario failed to become a relationship or failed to last. I truly believe in my heart and soul that anytime a woman sets out to get a guy, she fails. No women with self-love and confidence ever operates from an emotional plane of getting a man, no – the woman with self-love acts in a way that the man has to get her and she has to pick him. That is my theory.
And is this man even worth getting anyway, sure doesn’t sound like it.
Ive never played games or tried to make him like me. I am what I am. I cant pretend to be someone else I never could. I never tried to push him or move him into a relationship. You can’t I know that.
“Sure, he will miss you when he’s bored or when his new relationship doesn’t work out, or when he wants sex. Does that make you feel good to hear?”
It does make me feel good yes. I have suffered fr depression and am vulnerable.
Alex, I am sorry that you have a history of depression and are feeling vulnerable. Please go to therapy. Keep posting on here as well but you have bigger issues that a dating forum can solve. If you seek love you will not get it from an FWB. Sex is not love, it is an expression of love, but it is not love in and of itself. You must love yourself with or without hm, with or without anyone. There is by far no greater rejection that anyone could show you than the rejection you show yourself. Never ever reject yourself, when you love yourself then you will draw in a man who truly loves you. Right now, you need counseling, you do not need this man screwing with your head.
Chin up, I wish you could see how much love you need to show yourself and how pining after this guy and hoping he calls you for sex is not a form of self-love.
While none of us are mental health professionals, please seek help if you are having trouble with depression. There are healthy ways to manage this.
The deeper issue may be the depression,focus on the wellness of you first before dating.Hoping a man will come back will not make you feel any better.
Im sad he’s gone. He seemed like in his text he wanted to stay friends. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone nuts still could have kept my friend.
He used to always ask if I was ok.
Being in touch all the time for a year. I thought he would always want me around.
HELLO…I’m concerned that you skipped over the part about depression and comtinue to focus on this man for your happiness.
Again sit with this and really read the responses here.
I understand you need to vent but, you also should try to receive the advice given to you, we can’t force you but it will help you.
Do you have other people to reach out to for support? He cannot be that role of a friend to you anymore.People come in and out of our lives all the time, and we have to be able to move forward when this happens.
I know I read it.
Everything in my life has gone wrong. He was my distraction.
He made me feel special
Get off the self pity pot and go out and enjoy the day. If it’s sunny, go enjoy the sunshine. If it’s raining, feel the rain drops on your hair and face and enjoy the feeling of being alive.
Stop focusing on this man and start focusing on yourself.
I’m glad you read it, now it’s time to take your power back in life.
Don’t sit around and be a helpless victim, it’s time to deal with whatever is going on in life.
Once you do you’ll be a better perosn and a better partner to someone.
A man can only distract you for so long for things that truly trouble you.
Please work on you first and leave this man alone.
Sweetie you really need to get help. If him missing you just for sex makes you feel good, you have a whole bag of issues only a therapist and possibly anti-depressants can help you with.
Why does settling for someone’s crumbs make you feel good? Do you not realize there is a whole world of other men out there who would be more than happy to offer you WAY more than this guy could? You are placing your happiness in one person and using him as a distraction from dealing with your real problems.
This is extremely unhealthy. Please seek help for yourself.