Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › FWB dumped me
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Deb.
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Alex
Do they ever come back?
Gemini615
He might…
He’s a FWB. Why do you care? The whole point is to keep it casual and if one or both of you decides to move on, it shouldn’t be an issue.
Alexis
I quote Lauren Conrad frequently on this site and I’ll do it again…”As soon as you stop thinking about them, they’ll send you a text message or they’ll call you because they know you just stopped thinking about them. It’s like a radar.”
So yea in all odds he will probably contact you. You can choose to engage or you can choose not to engage. But if you do engage act like nothing ever happened. And if he does come around it will probably be just for another round of sex. So be cautious.
Alex
He muddied the waters and started acting as if he really liked me.
Back in December he started contacting all the time and telling me he couldn’t wait to see me.
I asked him why he did it if insincere and he said because he’s an idiot.
My friends say he will be back when he’s single again and horny. I guess they’re right.
Alex
I gave him hell as he told me he couldn’t fool around anymore.
Because he had confused me in acting as if he liked me.
He still has some property of mine.Ivy
I think you are too emotionally involved with this guy to be in a FWB with him. An FWB is supposed to be casual, detached, and easy.
Alex
I know.
Id still love to see him again if he was single sometime.Khadija
Alex,
To answer your question yes they do come back but, why would you be waiting around?
It’s an FWB I thought those type of arrangements were suppose to be casual.Alex
What about the things he has of mine?
Khadija
Send a text to him asking that he return your belongings.
My guess is this is really not about your belongings, you want to hear from him.
In the future don’t leave items at a man’s house.Ivy
Immediately arrange a swap of stuff in a coffee shop far away from both of your homes. Do the exchange and end it.
I think the rule is that when you develop feelings for a FWB but both or neither of you will commit to a real relationship/dating, then one or both should end it. If you don’t then you just invite heartbreak into your life.
good luck
Alex
Why did he start acting as if he cared? That’s what got me interested.
Alexis
A lot of guys will play the “nice guy” card to reel women back in again to get what they want.
If he really wanted to flip the tables and turn something casual into something serious then he would have said so and done so.
Alexis
Guys aren’t stupid. They know what makes women go crazy. So they liked to play that little game of getting into our minds to make it seem like they’re sincerely interested. They know women like to text, they know women like all of the kissy cupcake face stuff, they know women like all the affectionate stuff and etc. So they’ll start perpetrating and doing all of that stuff to get a woman right back in their bed.
But the key is to beating them at their own game, not allowing that kind of foolishness or just simply block them out of your life.
Khadija
Just because somebody is your FWB doesn’t mean they don’t care about you as a person.Not all FWB’s are some guy only calling for sex. In some cases people spend time with their FWB..hints the word Friend in FWB.
However, women often times get that confused that this guy has romantic feelings for them. Which is not the case if it is an FWB.
I see that you are spending too much time mulling over the details. This guy is moving on and so should you.I may also add that FWB may not be for you because all these questions you are asking shows that you are way too invested in what should be a casual dating situation.Alex
Yeah. I am sure he did like me. Friend being the operative word.
When I was sad about work one day, Id had a horrible time of it, he spent all night comforting me over dinner and holding me as i cried.
Just a sex buddy with no feelings….he wouldn’t get involved in knowing about my life.
I guess it is my fault for being naive.
Mistral
Khadija is correct. 90 of women cannot handle an FWB. You are one of the 90%. It is just life.
Now you have to remember what kept you alive for all the years from your birth to the second you met this man. Then go about the business of living that life and forgetting about this silly little affair you had.
Go on about your life and forget this dude.
Khadija
Well Alex, now take this as a learning lesson and move forward.
Don’t beat yourself up about it. Now you know how an FWB goes and in the future you have this situation as a reference point on whether or not you want to get involved in one again.Alex
This is the second time I was with him though. He may come back for a third?
Maybe I should not have acted upset with him.
Khadija
Alex,
My dear it appears to me that you are not truly reading the responses given to you because you keep asking if he will come back to you.
You have been given some good pointers but, yet you want to focus on his return. Please stop this now, this thinking will only cause you to be miserable.
None of us here can predict the future, however we can talk about the present.
That being said presently has he chosen to move forward and again so should you.Katherine
Alex, I read your last post and can tell, you are still in the wrong mind set and thinking wrong things. Worrying will he or won’t come etc etc all those nonsense things that won’t help you today. The truth is that he DOES like you and DID CARE in his own way by doing all these things and he was GENUINE and HONEST when doing it, but his LIKE was may be 20% out of possible 100% which is to day, it didn’t push him to develop any real FEELINGS for you in a romantic way. And your LIKE looks like 100% and that is confusion. And believe me, the moment when someone more exciting shows up FWB leave, this is all that it is about, to hook up until something more exciting shows up. I’ve been there myself just recently, felt madly in love with a man who considered me just as casual, yes he was very much in love for 2 weeks when wining me over and once I happened, he started to loose interest and turned it into FWB by calling me my friend, my friend. He ended up having a crush on my friend and it was a real heartbreak. If you have feelings for a guy don’t support these relations. Get over!!! You will, time heals.
Ivy
Yeah, maybe he’ll come back and wouldn’t you be so lucky that a guy comes back to you for sex and won’t have a real relationship with you although you have feelings for him. Doesn’t that just feel great to know that this man is in fact capable of a romantic relationship but he isn’t starting one with you outside of FWB, rest assured, he will make one girl his girlfriend one day, he might end the FWB cause he found a girl he wants to be his GF. How would you feel then.
You are not right for a FWB, you want more. Don’t accept crumbs when you want the cake, that is a sign of low self-esteem. Know your worth and don’t accept less, a man can never truly desire or respect a woman who he knows on some level doesn’t respect herself. A good man will never ever commit to a woman with low self esteem and you having sex with a guy when you want a relationship, is a a very clear signal to a man that you don’t value yourself, and if you don’t, he will never be able to nor will he commit to you.
If you are waiting around hoping he just calls you for sex when you secretly like him and have deep feelings, he will know this on some subconcious level and he will never ever make you his GF.
Please love yourself more
Mistral
Alex,
I turned an FWB into a real relationship. I did it by not caring what he did. I went about my own life and had my own friends. It drove him NUTS that I wasn’t acting like 90% of his other FWBs…they acted like you are acting–all needy and insecure and clingy and desperate.
Guys hate desperate women. Men like cool chicks. Become a cool chick and not a cash cow.
Alex
Thank you all for your kindness. I have briefly read your messages but will read properly when im home. Would any of you mind keeping talking to me just to take my mind off it.
My instincts now are saying not to contact him anf leave my things for now at his place.
It may make it worse to contact him. I did let rip at him.
Khadija
Just come here and vent if need be and read more of the different post.
You will learn some valuable things about relationships. -
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