FWB dumped me


This topic contains 195 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Deb 2 years, 3 months ago.

Viewing 25 posts - 126 through 150 (of 196 total)
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  • #433271 Reply

    Alex

    I did go for help last week and the last time too.

    I got handed out tranquilisers and sleeping pills and the phone number for a counselling service that is useless. They do a basic phone service and it really is no good.

    Private counselling is the equivalent of $150 a session and I cant and i can’t afford it.

    What am i supposed to do.

    #433280 Reply

    Mistral

    Stefanie,

    You know I will always be in your corner and root for your causes. I am on board with this 100 percent! You are right. We ALL need to be here for Alex and get her strong again. Stronger than ever before and BETTER than ever before!

    Alex,

    I know you don’t want to hear this from me, BUT, please, hear me out.

    I only want to help and that is why I was harsh on you. I totally agree with Stefanie that you need to have friends that will help you navigate through this stuff and I totally trust Stefanie to help you do it.

    I will try to stay off this thread as much as I can to make sure you don’t worry about what I may say to hurt you.

    I only want to help and so am not going to post here unless I feel it will make a really positive and good difference in your life. One that you will be happy to hear.

    Hugs, and let Stefanie guide you to becoming the best and happiest Alex you can possibly imagine.

    #433287 Reply

    Stefanie

    THANK YOU MISTRAL!!!

    OK Alex. Disclaimer – I am not a medical professional and you need the advice of a medical professional!! I’m going to do my best to guide you according to what I have found in my extensive experience with depression does and does not work. I took my journey to get to know my mind and my body and what works for me; each person including you must do the same.

    Reading: clinical dash depression dot co dot uk. I read all of the site and that helped me understand what was happening to me. Good resources there. You can always call them and ask what they think – I did that and they helped me. Anything from Martin Seligman is helpful.

    YouTube and Google: best search terms are understanding depression, curing depression, things like that. I also listen to isochronic and binaural beats to help me balance. WARNING! If you start listening to something and it makes you feel weird, STOP. You should feel better by listening. Anna Wise’s book The Awakened Mind can help you understand brainwaves and how they affect your mood.

    Basically, if you are diagnosed as “clinically” depressed and not “situationally” depressed, the neurotransmitters in your brain are on the blink. You are making too much or too little of at least one of them. Google “neurotransmitters” to find out what they are. Serotonin, dopamine, endorphins.

    #433293 Reply

    Stefanie

    Get exercising! Just 15 minutes a day can help. Ideally you want to break a sweat to get those endorphins going. That in itself can make you feel better.

    Too much sugar will screw you up big time. Tell me more about your diet and I can advise better.

    Try out St Johns Wort in a pill or tea. Take some each day and give it a week or two and see if you respond. Me, I take 1-2 weeks before I feel a diff on medication of any kind for depression.

    Tip: what you say after “I am…” is very powerful. I don’t say I am depressed. I say I have depression, I feel depressed, I”m dealing with depression. Also, don’t talk about it in a way that makes it sound and feel like you are waging war on it. Depression is sending you a message. You need that message. When you get it and work with it, you won’t feel depressed any longer and you won’t have to go there ever again.

    Is that enough to get you started?

    #433294 Reply

    Stefanie

    Go tell your doc what your symptoms are. Sleeping meds are not the answer I have some but use them sparingly. Me, I sleep way too much and eat too little when I feel depressed. It sounds to be like you need some kind of meds to get you up and moving and thinking straight again. There are many on the market to help with that. Remember they are a crutch not the cure and you shouldn’t be on them forever. But just a you couldn’t walk without a crutch if you broke your leg, you may need an anti-depressant. No shame in that.

    #433299 Reply

    Stefanie

    If your GP doesn’t understand, then call one one one in the evening or on a weekend and get an out of hours appt. You MUST find someone who understands!!

    Counseling in this country is a lot harder. It took me a year to get one. First time around they sent me to a “Managing Anxiety” class. WTH??? I was WAY past THAT. You have to be persistent. Which is hard in your state. But call Samaritans and ask for help. Keep it up until someone listens!!

    Does this all make sense?

    #433301 Reply

    Stefanie

    Sorry for all these posts. The system wouldn’t let me post what I originally wrote and I had to weed out the offending words (still not sure what they were!) by trial and error.

    #433313 Reply

    Alex

    All of you yelling at me for pages and pages to go do something. I already had Been. I couldn’t even remember. Im all over the place.

    #433318 Reply

    Alex

    Sorry I forgot id beem but no help really available

    #433319 Reply

    Stefanie

    ALEX. Forget everyone else and focus on what I’ve said sweetheart! Respond to me and forget everyone else for a while, please!!!

    #433320 Reply

    Stefanie

    Alex, listen to me. If you can’t cope then you have to go the nearest A&E and tell them you must receive help. Call Samaritans and ask them to tell you what to say and write it down and GO. I’m very, very worried about you and there isn’t anything else I can do to help you in the cyberworld here!!! PLEASE go and then let us know you are OK.

    #433363 Reply

    Alex

    I dont like this anymore. Unless steph there’s a way to swap contact details privately im not sauing anything else

    #433373 Reply

    redcurleysue

    Hi Alex,

    Do not break contact please. Stefanie is trying with everything she has to stay with you here. We care.

    Stay with us…it will get better…I promise….

    Keep talking to Stefanie.

    #433392 Reply

    Stefanie

    Alex, there isn’t any way. This is an anonymous forum and I ca’t post my private information here.

    I can’t control what other people say but as you see everyone is with you. No one is trying to hurt you!!!

    For God’s sake STAY WITH ME! Please call Samaritans!! Or can you find a local church? My church had been very, very helpful.

    What is going on?? How are you feeling?

    We love you, we support you here!!!!! If you are this low I repeat you must go to an A&E or urgent care centre and tell them you need help and don’t go until you get it!!!!

    #433397 Reply

    Alex

    Im an atheist. Church is BS.

    I know it sounds crazy but I want him back so badly :(

    #433439 Reply

    stefanie

    Getting him “back” won’t solve the real issue honey. I know it feels like you’ve lost something that you really needed but trust me as someone who really has pretty much no family and has tried everything to get one and it all backfired, it’s not about anyone but you. I understand that’s not what you want to hear and I also get that may not make much sense, when you feel so empty inside and you don’t know how to fill those holes. It feels logical that it must be something from the outside.

    Now what are we going to do about getting you some help my dear??

    #433446 Reply

    Ivy

    I think this post is out of line and it’s kind of scaring me a bit. I don’t think anybody here should be playing the role of therapist, or depression hotline and I fear that is worse than simply directing someone to the right resources. This is a dating forum and when someone’s needs are beyond that they need the right resources and not counseling online from unqualified people.

    —–
    Alex, Is there a reason why you are not discussing your issue and depression with friends and family? Can you call a hotline for depression? Can you google free resources? You do need someone to talk to but you need someone qualified, qualified means they have training, a degree, or such. You also need to talk to friends and family in person and tell them of your thoughts and feelings and let them help you through this.

    #433453 Reply

    stefanie

    Ivy – PLEASE stay out of this. It doesn’t appear you’ve read the whole thread where everything you’ve brought up has already been addressed. Your comments aren’t helping. Particularly if you are not in England, you can’t know what it’s like in this country.

    #433456 Reply

    Alex

    Ivy. Its pissing me off a bit too.

    Im depressed yes, suicidal certainly not. Im getting a bit tired of being spoken to as if im about to jump off a building…..go to a&e ffs?! Why would i do that.

    I cant go to family and friends as Stephanie is right. It’s a big taboo.

    I came on here as i wanted to tell my story to moan to a load of strangers about how much i likef this guy because my friends are of the view i should forget him.

    I wanted to talk to a load of strangers instead and go over it to come yo terms with it. But instead i got stfu from you lot too.

    Jesus. Why cant i talk about the f***wit on here? Why not?

    Go over it until im sick of it. Thats all I wanted to do.

    #433458 Reply

    stefanie

    Everyone – this is a really delicate situation. I’m not trying to play pseudo-therapist – I’m dealing with the depression that Alex has and I know what she’s going through first hand. I’ve successfully gotten help and it is not easy to do that here in England. I have clearly stated I’m not a therapist and my goal here is to get her to seek out the right help in the country where we both live. PLEASE refrain from commenting unless you have read the entire thread and have something useful and constructive and supportive to say.

    #433459 Reply

    Ivy

    Stefanie, you are out of line not me, this is not your forum and you are not a therapist and you do not have a right to tell anyone that they should stay out of it. You don’t own this board, this post, or this interaction.

    But I will stay off this post, cause I said what I had to say and I am done.

    And Alex, I wish you all the best, heartache is difficult and I truly wish for you to be happy and find whatever it is in life and love that you are looking for. All the best.

    #433461 Reply

    stefanie

    OK Alex. So write everything down and get it all out of your system!!! The key to getting support here is to let people know what you need. We will automatically try to help you solve the problem and we will get frustrated if you don’t respond. It’s not personal. This just tends be a solution oriented place. NO one is kicking at you.

    If you just need to vent, then you just said it. So go for it! I won’t offer any more ideas, I’ll just listen. Tell me all about it.

    #433465 Reply

    stefanie

    Ivy, there was no call for you to jump in on this post and say what you said. I wasn’t talking to you and I’m handling this matter ethically. If you don’t like it then report to sys admin.

    As I told you on another post, this isn’t about you or me or being right. You really really seem to need to be right and it’s best if you and I don’t interact any longer directly. It’s not my forum… nor is it yours either. Best wishes.

    #433468 Reply

    Ivy

    Stefanie:
    “Ivy – PLEASE stay out of this.”

    I have every right to express when people are playing therapist and it concerns me.

    I have every right to express a differing opionin.

    YOu addressed me and told me to get off this post for expressing my opinion which was not specifically directed AT you.

    You then directed your comment to me

    You telling everyone to get off this post so you can handle it – you are the one who is controlling and needs to be right, not me.

    #433474 Reply

    stefanie

    Alex,

    I presume that I’ve given you enough info on how to deal with depression if you want to go and do that. I’ve got nothing else to say on the matter unless you ask.

    If you want to vent about the guy go ahead and do so.

    I really hope you will deal with the depression issue when you are ready.

    best, Stefanie

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