For those who need help with NC and letting go.

Yoyo, I think we both had stupid expectations. He used to say Happy New Year every year even when we were just friends, but he didn’t this time. It felt kinda empty but you are right anyway, what’s the point?! What’s the point of being ‘nice’ anyway when they do not want us?!

I am happy you had a great time in China!! Glad you enjoyed it. Trips are always therapeutic when it cones to mending a broken heart! I’m proud of you for handling it so well.

Okay I have been practicing this for two days now….and I was driving today the common road for me to get on and off the freeway. On this road my ex boyfriends ex wife lives on this road I drive on every day.,…I am driving by today and I saw his car in front of her house. He was probably there visiting his daughters.,. But I went back to square 1…..all that anxiety in my chest and stomach came back. I felt sooooo empty and sad…I started crying again…what I really wanted to do is run over there and hug him tight and never let him go…..if I could see him one more time…….I was back to normal after I started up on my exercise….
Beware this will take some time……

actually i went to shanghai too. i was home in the morning then put silent in my phone so i can sleep probably. then my parents freaked out as they heard abt the news. i even had a thought mayb my ex would msg me if he worries me. but he didnt.
anyway. i guess it would b the best if we both apart like it is.

suave. u r doing great too. i guess we all know and understand wht u mean. walking past the places u both use to go, or i would search his car on the street hope he is inside. or places u wanted to bring to him but he is not around anymore. miss doesnt mean anything. if the relationship doesnt work. it doesnt work. i could still miss or love someone but it doesnt mean we can b together anymore.

2015. lets have a good start. i guess life is never easy but i m not afraid when anything comes and i m sure everything is the best for us in this moment. ?

Imena and yoyo …..god how much I feel your pain. I’ve been messed up too….but there’s a reason why they are no longer with us…..or better yet why we are no longer with them. I have an exercise for you….every time you think of your ex….immediately replace that thought with your NEW BOYFRiEND…..he may not have a face yet….but write a list of ALL the qualities you want your new boyfriend to have. So replace that negative thought with your new boyfriend. He will come around …believe me! Keep those positive thoughts until you no longer think of your ex. See if this helps. I’m trying so hard to not think of him. As a matter of fact….it’s helping. I wrote a list of all the terrible things he said to me and I always pull my list out when I want to call him then I hate him for breaking up with me and going with his ex,,,,,,,it works.

Imena…re Condition your thoughts. of course we still think of them. I had 3 guys pay me attention last night …and it was great. I still think of him….miss him…want him….but there IS life after him….and remember…We don’t want guys that don’t want us. One of the guts texted and asked me out. .but I’m not Interested. told him….mates only. but. it’s great for my ego. I hope to get out again tonight .It’s better. …than sitting in moping.

Imena.. I never have guys pay me attention..it’s only been lately since I lost Wight and got lots more confidence and regained my old self back..it’s just because lots of guys don’t know me and I’m like the stranger in town.

yes….it’s hormones. . I wad like that too with mine this week. .just take some time to cry and go back to remembering how he put no effort in..it’s all you can do honey….take it day by day.

You will have the guys interested again soon…it’s just a matter of time

Hi all,

Hope you’ve had a good christmas. I had a massive meltdown on xmas day and i really need to take a break from thinking or talking about the ex, I hope you understand. I just don’t think posting here is helping me move forward. I wish you all the best with your journey though, but I think I’ve just gotta crack on with my life now. I still have this gut feeling my ex will be in touch and i’ve stopped checking my fb, and I know he’s with her right now, but I don’t think it will last and I think he’ll be back. I’m moving on and there’s some lovely new guys on the scene so i’m focussing on that. Things are going really good for me right now. I wish you all the best for the future.

Lots of love and a happy 2015!

Claire xxx

Hi all!
New here.
My ex and I broke up about a month ago, and I’m just starting the no contact now. It wasn’t really a BAD break up, or even a bad relationship (although the last 3 months I felt pretty neglected and unwanted). He ended it basically unsure of his feelings and unsure of what he wants in life, and told me he still loves me and thinks maybe he’s in love (I always thought that semantic was kinda silly), and he really wants to be friends.
We chatted on and off for a few weeks, he even called me the day after the break up to make sure I was okay.
But when we talk he often just disappears and it makes me feel like it’s a continuation of our relationship. I’m not a big fan of our friendship because I feel like I was a low priority for him while we were dating, and I feel like a low priority as friends.
I know I deserve someone who can love me the way that I love them, and so I do really want to move on. So I’m trying NC. I’m only on day three, and I think I’m gonna hold through, but I’m fairly weak willed. And honestly, I’m disappointed that he doesn’t seem to miss me, and has been pretty indifferent throughout the whole break up.
My hardest part of no contact is honestly wanting to hear from him and to feel like he cares. So I’m tempted to reach out in order to get that, but I know I won’t.

I am not disappearing from this website…..I want to empower others and help other women get through this. Cuz I was once in the same situation….I feel like I need to help others….because it feels like when you go through a breakup you fall into this world of darkness and it feels just awful……I am feeling a little bit better and if I could help others and tell them that I went through the same thing….we all women need to support each other…from these monstrous men. So, if I could help someone with my words…….it helps me heal that much faster. Love you all…….we will one day meet the man of our dreams…….

dear all. i m also staying here too to make support other gals and here is a good place we can talk freely abt anything. i know wht Claire mean that talking abt the ex here everyday may not b any good to us. but we r not always talk abt him. we talk abt our feelings too. so its a good thing we can release our emotions here.
i m sure we will all be good in this new year start.
kristy. i feel my situation is a little bit similar to u. the break up was not an ugly breakup at all. we ended it with reasons and i know my ex wants to still b friends w me. but i didnt think is a good idea. even tho how much i want him, but i have to let him go and i will move on too. if he cant get out of my life. its difficult for me to find someone else and i dun want to feel the pain over and over again. staying as friends really makes things complicated and i know i will end up hurting ourselves more.

also the missing feeling really has no meaning in this moment anymore. becoz the truth is we are over, is like a thread. u cut it. its gone.how can u still keep the thread when is already cut?

Hi :) In short: my boyfriend wants a break, he’s so stressed due to health issue and he doesn’t know what he feels anymore. I’m confused. I don’t know what I FEEL. Let me explain: he told me he wanted a break last night and I cried like a baby. This morning, I met with my best friend and I cried, saying I love him. However, I started thinking to all the bad things we had in our relationship, and I want to be honest. It all started as a rebound relationship: my ex boyfriend – I’ll call him David – had just broken up with me and all I wanted to do was to STAY ALONE. However, one day I met my current (I’ll call him Jack) boyfriend, he told me he liked me blah blah blah even if I told him I was still suffering for David. Anyway, one evening we were on the phone and I was saying “sometimes I think I’m only a mess and I really hate myself” and he shoked me saying “well I love you”. My heart stopped. I didn’t know what to do. So, we saw each other three days later, we kissed and I told him that I loved him… Even if I was still suffering for David. I know, I made a huge mistake. Anyway, in the begininng our relationship was SO wrong: we argued for everything, one day he even slapped me on my face, and then, for almost a year, we argued/cried/argued/cried and so on. We made things clear on March, he told me was changed and he proved me that, he was so lovely, he was all I ever wanted… Two months ago he went to the hospital and he’s now on the wheelchair (even if in one/two months he will recover completely) and during this time he prayed me to stay close to him. And I did. And now, he wants a break. He says that this experience has made him more mature and he doesn’t know what he feels for me anymore. I don’t know what I should do. I told him “if you don’t love me anymore, please just say it” e he told me that he doesn’t know. So I guess he’s just confused. But I AM confused too. I don’t know what to think. If I think to all the bad things in our relationship, I don’t feel so hurt by his (possible?) decision to leave me. But if I read all his love letter, or I think of his face, his lips… I break into tears. I think I’m going insane. Please, help. What the hell is wrong with me? What should I do? Let him go? I just want him here right now, but I don’t know if it’s the right thing…

IMik90 ….wow…..what a story. I’m so sorry you are hurting and crying so much….but, first of all he slapped you? Omg….this sounds to me like an abusive relationship. No one should ever put up with that. Plz ….always think of the bad things he did. Write a list of all the bad things you remember him doing to you and when ever you miss him or want to call him…..pull the list out and read it…….this will help you stay in No Contact with him. Let him go…and move on. I was in an abusive relationship for three years….he never hit me but he was very manipulative…..because of my self esteem being so low and not loving myself enough….I stayed. He somehow convinced me that everything was my fault. We broke up for good…….thank god it didn’t continue. It was hard but I moved on and never talked to him so far….and I don’t plan to. Love yourself first…..do not weaken….you will regret it. This thread will help you through this like it helped me. Just trust the process of No Contact…..it works.