Can’t get over him!!!

When we do ugly things, we get to experience ugly things. I am not advocating a dogmatic morality here, but some basic honesty. Honesty I do advocate.

You were both dishonest liers. You acted like one in full knowledge, do not put it all on him. But then you tried to destroy their relationship by telling his woman about your affair. Your plan – a conscious and maliciou one – did not work, and now you are crying, feeling “used and helpless”.

I do feel sorry for you, because I understand you have very strong feelings for him. But as human beings we also have sense of right and wrong. Truth honesty – dishonesty and lies. You made an ugly choice, how do you expect anything good to come from it?

What you should have done is to tell him about your feelings but also REFUSE to go on vacation with him behind his GF back. This way he would have respected you, and if their relationship ever broke, he might have come to you (unlikely, but there would be a chance)

however, this men is a habitual cheater and liar. Even if you got him, even if he did become YOUR BF, he would be cheating on YOU in a matter of months. I hope you can see that, yes?

Then, it is better to be in YOUR situation now, then in this “imaginative happy” situation you are fantasizing about where he is YOUR BF. He would be cheating on any woman, he is a cheater, it is good that he is not with you. Good for YOU!

You will fall for someone else if you shake this liar off and stop harbouring revengeful thoughts and trying to do harm to his GF.

You do ugly things, it is foolish to expect good to come from those ugly things. Rise above this. Be a little more noble, in your thoughts and especially in your actions, and being this way might attract a NICE AND HONEST man to you. You attract what you project. LOL

Thank you for the supportive messages and advice. I truly appreciate your words (esp Sarah.)

Yes on ego and glass houses lol

I get what you’re saying but some of this advice is just beating a dead horse. I stated in my very first entry that I knew this was wrong… I was looking for advice on how to get over him.

As far as pointing fingers, one thing that was very clear to me yesterday was so harsh some of your words and viewpoints were. I mean, come on. We all f*ck up sometimes. No need to take the moral high ground. And seriously, it’s a good thing that I’m emotionally in a decent place. What if I or someone else posting here was suicidal? You think you’re just typing words here but you never know the impact of those words on someone who is clearly fragile. Recognize the weight of your words and stop leading with judgement. What’s the old adage- if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. Or just try being helpful.

“As far as pointing fingers, one thing that was very clear to me yesterday was so harsh some of your words and viewpoints were. I mean, come on. We all f*ck up sometimes. No need to take the moral high ground. And seriously, it’s a good thing that I’m emotionally in a decent place. What if I or someone else posting here was suicidal? You think you’re just typing words here but you never know the impact of those words on someone who is clearly fragile. Recognize the weight of your words and stop leading with judgement. What’s the old adage- if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. Or just try being helpful.”

Aimee,
Spot on. It doesn’t take much to see the harshest critics are people using others to exorcise their own demons and feel superior through passing judgment. The fragility of others is unfortunately not a concern when this is going on. Your request on how to get over this got largely ignored for an excuse to bust out the gloves and throw punches.

It’s good to see there has been a backlash recently on some other threads to out of control judgments. You aren’t alone on the receiving end of this. I’m glad you are in a better spot than to let ugly messages define you. You are right that some people may not be though. That is often forgotten.

Guys two weeks ago I sleept with my ex from there We have met three times but haven’t gotten back together.. Monday I sent him our babies socks and our photos (was pregnant but I miscarried) we didn’t speak for three days so yesterday we met he wanted to go through my phone I refused and we ended up fighting. He is really mad and I love him so much

Aimee, for God’s sake. STOP. What if she is or isn’t messing with you? So flipping what? You’re apparently still obsessed. Haven’t you had enough drama YET?? Haven’t you had your ass totally handed to you by him to where you are finished with this foolishness??????

Disconnect from both of them on social media and everywhere and move on with your life.

Please really let this go and not hold onto hopes he will take you skiing. He doesn’t choose you- he chooses her for now. That’s enough to block them both and move on. Stop stalking their social media and find yourself someone who chooses you.

Aimee I’m more interested in what you’re doing to move on because you still sound stuck.
Maybe she is posting to show you they are strong and happy and she’s sticking by him, or maybe she’s posting pics of HER and HER boyfriend like a normal girlfriend does. Does it have any meaning if he doesn’t jump on and ‘like’ them? No not at all. My boyfriend posts pics of us and I don’t like them, they simply make me smile when I see he’s done it and our memory there captured.
How are you going to stop analysing this is the important question here. You feel very stuck… do you want to unstick or carry on reading things into stuff and guessing like this

Why can’t you just unfriend him?

Problem solved because there will be nothing to see.

I think sometimes people make things harder on themselves and it doesn’t need to be that way.

You didn’t read my last post…

I call BS on this entire thread, especially your last post.

No more updates please, go find somewhere else to get your kicks.

This whole story has gotten pathetic IMO.

Aimee, my last piece of advice.

Keep working with your therapist.

Just reading through your thread it seems like you have things you need to work on.

If any shred of what you say is true(which I still doubt) you need to focus on your life and your marriage.

None of this is healthy behavior and I think somewhere deep down you know that.

In any case I wish you all the best and that you find happiness.

The story in the post isn’t happiness.