After 3 dates, didn't make his promise to see me soon

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  • #941453 Reply

    I had dated this guy 12 years ago for two months. His reason, his dad and brother passed away, but he told me that he had a 7-year relationship and ended 4 years ago. He went to plentyofish and dated some women. His last date ended in August 2022. We re-connected in Dec 2021, he invited me to go out with him, but at that time, I wasn’t attracted to him anymore but just get the benefits of going out; he was trying to kiss me but I avoided him. Then, he stopped the messenger contact with me. September 2022, we hiked together, and he started to text me since then, as well sending me pics of his kids and mom and himself, but not intiated to ask me out. February 2023, he offered me a ride to the airport when I went to Mexico. We messaged each other and exchange pics. He asked me out for twice but I declined. I lost my job in Feb 2023, and he asked me out again for an evening dessert. Then, he asked me out again in April for 3 times, until I again developed my feelings with him. He treated me like his Princess, opened the car’s door, removed and put on my jacket, never let me wet by the rain, and took me to expensive and cozy places. Until 3 weeks ago, I asked him if he was ready for a relationship. He said, he was so ready and since about this but will take it step-by-step. I was again attracted to him and wel spent the night together. He took me back home the following day and told me that he will see me soon. He invited me to come with him for a week in LA for his Conference and I declined cuz I was focusing on my startup online business. We messaged each other until he got back in town. He said, he couldn’t see me because his son had a three night hockey game. The following week, I asked him what he was doing, until I learned he paddled at that night. And I told him that if he misses me. He said, yes, but we were both busy and we can see each other when the time comes.

    I blew up and I messaged him that something’s going on that didn’t seem right and I could feel in my gut that he was seeing other women.

    I blocked him in my messenger and on my phone for a day until he decided to block me too. So, when I learned that he also blocked me, I unblocked him and begged him to start fresh again. He messaged me back that due to drama and emotions, we’d rather stay as friends and to keep it that way. I messaged back that I already moved on and focusing on my startup biz.

    But I’m starting to miss him so much. Will he ever come back? Thoughts? On the other note, I wasn’t sure, if he really cheated on me.

    #941458 Reply

    Why all this back & fourth non-sense?

    Move forward & stop playing cat & mouse games!

    #941459 Reply

    in a normal,mature relationship, you talk, you don’t just block someone after accusing them of cheating. I never blocked any of my partners , waste of my energy, I just don’t engage. I find blocking really immature. If you don’t trust him, don’t date him, simple as that.

    #941461 Reply

    It sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do to have a healthy relationship. Stop playing with this man depending on your whim and mood. He deserves better.

    Stop with the games of blocking, unblocking. When you are in a healthy relationship, you talk to your partner.

    #941463 Reply

    Appreciate your insights. I’m moving forward to focus on myself.

    #941464 Reply

    At what point was this man official with you? Unless you are official as done by a conversation, you both can date anyone you want. Your behavior was very extreme in a lot of ways, please read up on insecure anxious attachment. 3 dates is not a promise. It’s 3 dates and then you observe if what that are doing is moving it forward or not. His actions were not a cue to ask him how he feels about you, they were a cue to keep your options open until he acts and talks like a boyfriend and being consistent

    #941465 Reply

    Tallspicy-we women are not sluts to sleep with our exclusive date just like that! Quit judging an extreme behaviour! I value my integrity and culture!

    Like what I said I am over with it after I read three insights.

    #941466 Reply

    I literally do not understand what you are saying….we women are not sluts? I value my culture? Perhaps I am not understanding where you are from.

    And I am not judging your behavior, I am explaining that you can learn why it is so extreme so it does not keep happening.

    #941467 Reply
    Kelly don’t kiss ass

    I love every opinion & views..
    This truly has help me..
    We my so-called whatever he is gaslighted me straight to the moon to leave me there lol🤣
    I was like what in the Dickens just happen lol
    I been bamboozle lol..
    And forgive me for laughing, but I must from getting emotional- because he isn’t worth.
    I just told myself–I been played by an old head…
    So yes! I do not response to his dry text quickly ” wyd” I’m like don’t clock me– I have a life before you came and approached me boo-boo!!
    I mirror what he dish out
    And yess I will stay focus on me, busy and occupied. I guess he feel since he has accomplished all these titles-he’s my god- child bye!!
    Be a man and keep it 100
    Yes! He’s lingering me
    Yes! He likes but not as much, he’s debating within himself. I cant have sex with my partner not knowing where we stand.
    I know who I Am

    #941468 Reply
    Kelly don’t kiss ass

    I’m old school…
    The man finds the women
    He is suppose to chase us
    He is the head and suppose to lead…
    So what I look like playing the man role- boy bye!!
    If you need a cheerleader or Entourage
    It’s not I!!
    You mirror what it is not what you want it to be.
    When you’re real with yourself you can depart from the shenanigans

    #941469 Reply
    Kelly don’t kiss ass

    I always say this..
    If people can just be direct and blunt
    You will never had known if the women accept your terms.
    It’s simple of be transparent crystal clear.
    For example: you got a phat ass and I want to smash..
    Or I been hurt and have trust issue, I damage sometimes I’ll distant myself
    Or I still have sex with my ex or childs mother
    Come on..
    Keep it on 1000
    Because some women may want their pipe clean and cool with it protected sex always

    #941470 Reply
    Kelly don’t kiss ass

    Some men don’t like women to be direct. They feel she’s to forward and dominant
    I say, Lets cut to the chase..
    Therefore no more time is wasted

    I know you saw my ass, and my beautiful face, now how may I help you.
    I got kids
    I’m busy
    I confident
    And I will have sex because my hormones wants to with you or maybe not..
    They be like damn baby slow down lol
    Nope! We can finish this in 2.5 sec
    Like: a quick interview

    Do you have kids
    How many
    Do u work
    How long you been on your job
    Do you live alone etc
    What’s your credit score..

    #941471 Reply
    Kelly don’t kiss ass

    Another thing to understand..
    Men will lie..
    So lets say he passed your screening of 2.5 sec questions
    And next its exchanging the digit
    In about 3 wks top if he’s answers don’t align with what he said. Run
    Either he’s a narcissistic or a psychopath or flat out liar a womanizer

    #941472 Reply
    Kelly don’t kiss ass

    Whatever you do..

    Women we are so important and emotional creatures- which is good to some point..
    Be strong, firm, bold, blunt, direct and assertive…
    Hold him on everything he said..

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