Ask A Guy: Are Men Intimidated by “Strong Women”? post image

Ask A Guy: Are Men Intimidated by “Strong Women”?


I know I am a woman of high value, worth and integrity. However, I tend to attract emotionally unavailable men and struggling what to do about this issue.

I have been told I am an alpha female and have toned down a bit since re-entering the dating scene. I think men are now attracted to me due to my recent career success, yet I think the right men are intimidated by me. Any insight?

You brought up a few points that I want to touch on.

First, let’s talk about the whole “strong woman” / “alpha female” topic.

In American culture, movies and media, there is a strong push for an archetype of the “strong woman.”

How many movies have you seen where a woman acts like a complete pain in the ass the whole movie and the protagonist dude chases her around the entire movie like a puppy dog? I’ve even seen it in a children’s movie (I think it was “How to Train Your Dragon”).

The fact is – it’s not real life!  Guys with any power to choose will actively avoid women who act like a pain in the ass.

Why would a guy want to choose a negative influence in his life?  Why would he want to invite someone in who minimizes him and doesn’t appreciate him. Other than true masochists, guys who have choice don’t want this.

I bring this up because often times when a woman tells me she’s an “alpha female” or “strong independent woman,” alarm bells go off in my head.

Reason being:

  • Strong people don’t need to tell you they’re strong… people who are scared of being taken advantage of do…
  • Independent people don’t need to tell you they’re independent… people who are scared of losing themselves in another person do…
  • Alpha people don’t need to tell you they’re alpha… true alpha men and women tend to be compassionate and have nothing to prove. Controlling people often mistaken themselves as alpha… when really they’re the opposite.

Now, I’m not saying all of this to accuse you of being these things.  I am bringing them up to highlight that our culture has a huge misconception of what is actually desirable.

Before certain members of the audience accuse me of being a “misogynist” or “degrading to women”… relax.  I am not advocating some old-fashioned viewpoint that women should be nice, quiet, agreeable creatures who exist solely to please their husband. In fact, what I talk about goes for men and for women.

What I’m advocating in this post is to identify insecure behaviors masquerading as admirable traits.

I know all sorts of truly alpha women in my life.  Truly alpha guys too.  And I can tell you – they don’t walk around all day thinking about how they’re alpha.

Rather than calling it “truly alpha”… let’s call it being secure and self-sufficient.

When someone is secure and self-sufficient:

  • They don’t need to control other people.  They are relaxed and can guide their interactions and make their needs known without trying to dominate or control
  • They have tact and compassion – they can say what they mean clearly without being offensive or arguing.
  • They have nothing to prove – they do as they do for their own reasons and desires.
  • They are whole and fulfilled because they live their life by their own standards and don’t seek fulfillment through others.
  • They are emotionally open and unguarded.  They are secure enough to know that they can defend themselves if necessary, so they don’t need to keep a constant guard up to drive people away.  Insecure people guard their emotions highly, since they fear that if they let their guard down they’ll lose themselves in another person or get hurt.

When you see it from that angle, anyone would be attracted to true alphas.

Unfortunately, our culture is currently confusing what is alpha with its opposite: being demanding, controlling and disagreeable.

Bullies are not alpha.  Bullies are men and women who are deeply afraid on the inside, so they stop at nothing to control other people (even if it means through fear, intimidation, etc.)

If you have those types of traits, you’re only going to attract two types of people:

  • People who don’t really care about you, so they don’t really care how you act… (a.k.a. emotionally unavailable)
  • Aimless, spineless people who co-dependently need you to control them.

If you feel that you are attracting emotionally unavailable men to you, I suspect it could have to do with some of these behaviors.  The truly alpha side of you is great.

If you have any behaviors that could be construed as bullying, demanding, disagreeable or controlling, then you’ll do best to lay them to rest.

You can have control without being controlling.  You can reach the agreements you want without needing to be disagreeable.  You can have your desires met without demanding them.  And you can have compliance without intimidating the other person.

In the words of Benjamin Franklin [Tact and Tactfulness]:  A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.

Hope it helps,

eric charles

Written by Eric Charles

I'm Eric Charles, the co-founder and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing articles to help people free themselves from suffering and have clarity in their love life. I have a degree in Psychology and I've dedicated the last 20 years of my life to learning everything I can about human psychology and sharing what gets people out of struggling with life and into having the life they really want. If you want to contact me, feel free to reach out on Facebook or Twitter.

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Eunice Obeng

Is it okay to date your ex friend

Reply February 1, 2022, 1:24 pm

Yanina

This is interesting because I have been told that I am intimidating even though that is the last impression I want to cause (unless I want people to leave me alone), but when I did my research and looked at the psychology between the intimidator and the intimidated things made sense.
Of course there the obvious as Eric mentioned, which apply to bullies, controlling, and insecure people, but there is another side of thestory here, where confident and self assured people (and beautiful) sometimes cause emotions to stirr inside of people who are not confident and self-assured. We do this unconciously and the intimidated just does not feel deserving of your presence, this has happened to me with men who are much younger than me but it does happen to me with some women.
Bottom line and since this is a dating advice site, if you are a confident, self-assured person (men or women or non binary), would you really want to be with someone who feels undeserving of the gifts you have to offer? I think in the long run they may show their insecurities and that can come up in really unhealthy ways (think infidelity, dramas, control issues, etc). Hope this helps and I appreciate ANM because it already has helped me get through two break ups! Keep it up S&E

Reply February 3, 2021, 9:35 pm

SC

“Unfortunately, our culture is currently confusing what is alpha with it’s opposite: being demanding, controlling and disagreeable.“ This was me in my last relationship and it didn’t hit home until I was able to reflect. Eric is spot on. HE was emotionally unavailable and it triggered my insecurities to the point where I was controlling, demanding, and disagreeable as I fought for him to “do the right things” under the guise of “I’m an assertive alpha woman and demand you do right by me”. A true alpha would have been confident enough to know her value, see the situation for what it was and walk away thus not staying in a situation where your insecurities are constantly triggered – this cycle is a problem in and of itself and something I need to work on. My insecurities tried to strong arm a man to treat me the way i felt I deserved which… we all know how that story goes.

Reply January 21, 2020, 8:33 am

Bee-me

I have always balanced both feminine energy with masculine energy. I don’t need someone in my life 24 hours aday, but I do want someone in my life. I know that often times most men tell me they feel like they are not good enough for me. I often wonder how is that so, considering I don’t ever look down at men or think I’m better off than they are. I’m confident in who I am and my worth and value to a point where I don’t feel like I need to say it. I love interacting with the opposite sex because they are interesting to me. I find men seriously intriguing and I never impose my will on them. I try to give them room to make their own decisions, but they often seem to fight their emotional self. I know it’s because of what they went through before I just don’t know how to work through stuff like that with other people. I only know that I worked out those kinks myself and now I do have a good sense of who I am and what I am like when dealing with other people. I know what I don’t like and I believe in maturity and growth as part of any relationship. I have never requested someone be more to me than what they can give. Yet I get a lot of men who think they have to impress me with everything and I always tell them just be yourself. I realize that not a lot of men know how to be who they truly are because who they truly are just might conflict with what they have presented themselves as. I think people can save a lot of trouble just by being authentic up front. Just be you and make no apologies for it. The right person will come along and accept who you are. They won’t let you disregard them in the process but they will love you for who you are.

As a woman who has a son, I was told a lot of times that my son would be wild, disrespectful and a horrible grown up because I allowed him to express his thoughts and feelings when he was younger, regardless of how it made me feel. I taught him the truth is better than a lie and no matter what be himself. He’s the type of young man who is always honest with his thoughts and feelings and he’s not a push over. By me allowing him to be who he is authentically and not trying to shape him into what I want he has grown in ways I am proud of and he’s not scared of women or men for that matter. He’s a very unique kid. I notice that a lot of men however resent him for being able to speak truthfully with me. They resent my relationship with him because in their eyes I should control him, but I don’t believe that.

Reply August 4, 2019, 10:59 am

.

When a guy likes a girl *he* would want to be stronger than her. He wants to be able to protect her, and know that she feels safe around him. So it’s intimidating when she is stronger than him. Men are often very predicable, so they would want to make sure she knows that he can protect her so he can *show off* basically.

Reply July 17, 2017, 11:20 am

Deborah Michaliszyn

When you said “strong people don’t say their strong, people who are afraid of being taken advantage of do”, it sounds as though you think we are not self aware, sort of like an animal. When people are able to state who they are, that means they know themselves. When a person knows them self, quieten up and listen to it. Don’t accuse people of not knowing themselves, because only bullies tell others what they know or think.

Reply September 28, 2016, 1:14 am

Deborah Michaliszyn

I just want to add, often people in their 40’s come to a heightened self-awareness, and often will state who they are. It’s something they walk around doing, because it’s meaningful to know yourself. It’s great to be able to state who you are and really know it. When people doubt there are people who know themselves, that’s their problem. I wish them swift recovery.

Reply September 28, 2016, 1:18 am

Eric Charles

Hey Deborah – in your comment, you’re:
1) taking a sentence out of context, then…
2) misinterpreting it and then…
3) denouncing your misinterpretation of it.

What you’re talking about is not what I’m saying in this article… at all. If you read the entire article as a whole, you will see that.

Reply September 28, 2016, 1:27 pm

Electra

I’ve read a good handful of Eric’s articles, and I enjoyed this one, as well. I appreciate his concise, honest, and bare-bones method of delivery; it’s absolutely refreshing, and most often on point. There is only one thing I feel that could be added to the part where he writes about types of people who are attracted to the bulletpointed qualities he lists of a secure and self-sufficient person: you’ll attract the rare third, who is also likewise a person of security and self-sufficience. It’s not a common match to find…but I can’t imagine any individual of security, whether man or woman, is limited in attracting solely emotionally-unavailable or co-dependent individuals. I say this to add an addendum of hope. Not in criticism, as I am spot on with Eric with the rest of his dialogue. Thank you for the work you do in this blog. It has been one of the few credible sources to which I have turned in my personal growth, and as I grow more secure in myself, his messages resonate even more strongly.

Reply January 27, 2016, 9:32 pm

Eric Charles

Thanks Electra, yes I agree.

I’ve found in my own growth in self-sufficiency and security (and yes, I had to grow just like anyone else) that I attracted women that tended to be more secure and self-sufficient. You’re right, though, it is more rare and some people are further along in that regard than others.

I appreciate the comment and I’m glad to have you here with me.

Reply January 29, 2016, 7:06 pm

Amy

Great article, Eric. I only skimmed it but (as usual) you are spot on. I have always enjoyed being a feminine woman while also pursuing personal and professional goals. I have never felt the need to describe myself as a “strong woman” and wonder at how many women who think acting like men will get them anywhere in their love lives. I’m so glad there’s a guy using this type of platform to explain to women what a turn off this kind of behavior is and to encourage them to merely be confident, which in my opinion is something we should all be working on.

Reply February 5, 2016, 2:52 pm

jean

Suddenly a woman from my husbands work came along and stole him from me. He recently claimed I was too independent for him, he wanted some one to ‘take care’ of. I am of Norwegian, Scandinavian and this heritage plays a big role in life of us woman. However, since we departed other men claim they can not deal with independent women. It is so not fair, I do not make a lot of money nor do I need money for happiness. I am happy deep inside of me, just looking for a guy who has the same feelings. How do I find that?

Reply October 9, 2016, 1:44 pm

TheAbsoluteTruthAgain

It is very true what i have said with my last comment since so many strong independent women are like that nowadays since they’re so full of themselves which many of them really think their God’s gift to men which their really Not at all. It is all about me me me with these type of women today which it is a real turn off for many of us men that really work hard for our money since many of us just make enough to get by. And Most of these women will Never Ever go with a man that makes much Less than them since many of these women are so very Money Hungry nowadays which is very sad. The way i look at it many of the women that are really like that do carry a lot of Greed And Selfishness with them since they really choose Money over Love. And there are a lot of us real Good men out there that Don’t really care how much Money you make since we Don’t give a Damn at all since many of us would rather meet a Good woman that can Accept us for who we really are since there are a lot of women out there i am sure will agree with me as well since many other women wouldn’t care about how much Money we make either. It is very sad that these Career women are like that today since the women of years ago along with their men really had to Struggle to make ends meat since Both men and women in those days Hardly had any Money to begin with which Most of them were living with their parents anyway at that time.

Reply December 22, 2015, 7:37 am

TheAbsoluteTruth

Well now that there are so many very high maintenance women today that are also independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, and very money hungry, well that certainly speaks for itself why many Good men like us have been Ruined by them since it is very extremely hard finding a Good woman nowadays that isn’t like that to have a relationship with.

Reply December 18, 2015, 9:55 am

Shannon Hooper

Dear Eric,

I don’t think anyone really thinks that what we see in movies or on TV has any relation to real life. At least, I hope no one thinks that. And, guys absolutely do get intimidated by certain behaviors from women. I recently had a co-worker tell me a story about a girl he’d been dating that he took out to eat for the first time, and after she ordered a large meal and ate more than he did, he felt emasculated and never wanted to see her again. Seriously, what the hell is that? How in the world does someone eating more than you make you feel like less of a human being? That’s absolute lunacy, if you ask me. And, I don’t think that sort of thing is especially rare.

For some reason, I’ve run across a lot of commentary from men recently where they’ve repeatedly put forth the idea that women are the opposite of men; and I think that’s the most destructive idea I’ve ever heard. If you think about what men often consider to be masculine traits: strength, honor, integrity, intelligence, consistency, emotionally stability etc.; then for a woman to be the opposite of that, she’d have to be weak, lacking honor and integrity, unintelligent, inconsistent, and emotionally unstable. And, sadly, my personal experience is that those are exactly the traits that men seek (consciously or unconsciously) in the women they date.

Men and women are simply human beings first. We have much, much more in common than we don’t. We complement each other. But we absolutely aren’t opposites. It’s just sheer idiocy to believe that. But, sad to say, I think it’s exactly that belief that is making relations between the sexes so impossible.

Best,
Shannon

Reply August 3, 2015, 4:30 pm

Ben

Most women years ago were a lot Nicer than now.

Reply June 11, 2015, 7:50 pm

Ace

I’m alpha I know I am because others look up to me though my mom is trying to cut me down. I must tell you some true alphas are guarded and I prove that because I got cut one too many times I was closed off.I had guys asking me to give them orders. I did one was embarrassed of smoking so I had him take a picture of himself. He did it and I was pleased. When guys try to step over the bounds I let them have it as in scolding or punishing them. I must say that either the men I attract are slaves or I have something that other alpha females lack to attract them. Also some times I got aggressive and angry I was like an alpha male inside a female’s body. I could seem open and nice but whatever blazing spirit is inside me has them addicted. After I leave them if I was dating them they came back showing they still wanted me

Reply June 7, 2015, 12:01 pm

sueb219

Interesting and true. I was the alpha female 20 plus years ago. Met a man who was down, little self worth. I bult him up. He felt good around me. We married. Over the years he quietly and with very good manipulation beat me down. A narcissist is very good at what he does. After 21 years of marriage. He began cheating. He was dating a woman that was the spitting image of me before he beat me down.
I am here to stay without him. I’m building myself up. Feel good about who I am. Starting over isn’t easy but it’s darn worth it

Reply February 26, 2015, 6:59 am

arpu

Hi.. Its indeed a great article. I was dating a guy n we were engaged. Everything was fine But one month prior to marriage he changed drastically I was trying to find the answer and he eloped with another girl. When I read articles in new mode it gave me strength to overcome this however still that question why is left. Thank you.

Reply February 10, 2015, 10:43 am

Miz Liz

i completely agree with the author on this one. i never considered if i was or was not an independent person until people around me said so. things like, well you live alone and work a job to support yourself, you’re not actively looking for a partner and just tend to keep it casual, i dunno seems like you’re an independent person. when in reality i just do this because it’s what makes me feel comfortable. and i do know what they mean when they say people who have to prove their alpha stature because i have friends like this myself, constantly boasting that they don’t take crap and are better than other people blah blah. i feel if you’re truly comfortable with yourself you don’t need to do that, just be you. others will take note.

Reply January 19, 2015, 3:10 pm

June

some men are just stupid.

Reply January 6, 2015, 9:40 pm

fairycake

Many readers here are complaining that men are willing to be with women that are pains in the ass, that Eric is wrong. A few suggest that there must be many masochists out there. There are a lot of men excited by a strong, passionate woman, many men do enjoy a bit of masochism but the women complaining are blind to the obvious. A man would rather a slightly difficult woman that refuses to put up with bad treatment than deal with a boring, devoted clingy emotional sink hole. Balance is key

Reply January 6, 2015, 6:10 pm

lynn

I agree men do like women who are a pain …..i was in a relationship for 23 years and the thing he said to me when i work to much with a house and three kids his kids and you wernt working and that the best he can say really i kept it moving packed his close and put him out my house and i said good bye and  found out i never knew he was betraying me whole time he was cheating just awsome not hurt just glad someone else got tge burden instead of me awsome now he

Reply December 10, 2014, 5:55 pm

Lynn

This article’s definition of “independent” is really off the mark….I don’t see the correlation between being truly independent and being emotionally abusive or a “bully.” That’s a completely different issue with any number of reasons why a person would behave that way, but isn’t being independent a neutral personality trait, like being shy?

If by “independent” you mean being able to handle alone time without reaching for the phone every two minutes in desperate need of someone else’s company…many men are intimidated by that. Lots of men feel empowered around clingy girls. Lots of men feel insecure around women who don’t act needy. But they’ll never admit it.

Reply November 30, 2014, 1:37 am

Truth

Without a doubt.

Reply November 23, 2014, 10:31 am

Anais

Yeah like Janine and Anna, I’m confused because it DOES seem like men these days prefer women who are a “pain in the ass” lol. I mean no one likes someone who is agreeable all the time but I keep seeing guys choose girls who are jealous, loud and controlling over ones who are more traditionally feminine. And they say stuff like it’s “hot” if a woman likes to cuss, argue and put him in his place. Maybe these guys are masochists?

Reply July 25, 2013, 12:27 pm

Anna

I have the same comment as Janine, I am sorry but I know many men who decide to chase, to commit and to love women who are a pain in the ass.

I know one who got engaged to a very jealous woman, so jealous that she tricked him with a fake facebook account. The guy could have any girl he want, he is handsome, smart, good looking and very well endowed ;) But no, he wants that one. The one that flirts with other guys in bars, but makes his life a living hell if he looks away 1 second.

I also just got dumped by a guy who went back to his ex… also jealous, does not leave him hang out alone with girl friends, and already pushes him to move in together after 8 months together when he clearly said he did not want that. And I’m not even talking about marriage and kids issues.

So I don’t know what you mean Eric. Maybe all of these guys are just immature and sado-masochists. Maybe these guys you are talking about represent only 15% of the male population. It’s depressing. Sometimes I think “why don’t I act like that?”, because I feel it would be more efficient.

Reply June 4, 2013, 12:57 am

fairycake

I have to laugh at this reasoning. You know a man who is very well endowed, handsome, smart, god looking … you must be his ex. You think she is bad for making a facebook account showing she is living a fun life and that he will lose her if he takes her for granted? She sounds a wise woman. Flirting with other guys lets him see she is super hot and any guy would fight to have her but he is the lucky winner of the prize …. again – wise woman. Oh and another guy you know went back to his ex – sorry you were the rebound. Of course she is also very wise – why should he hang out with “girlfriends” – by this you are meaning you – so you can have a chance to win him back. A woman would be crazy to agree to her man remaining friends with his rebound.Pushes him to move in after 8 months – that’s a long time and he was already an ex – he knows what he wants, he isn’t a child. She needed him to show he could man up and not just run off to an affair and expect to keep stringing her along for more than 8 months. Is this starting to make sense or can you see a pattern? No wonder you don’t understand Eric. After some courses in getting back your confidence, developing some boundaries and learning that you are worth chasing – then you might understand why these other women are winning. Some do sound like bitches, I agree but no man wants a doormat – you are worth more, you are not a friend with benefits or an ex that can just be friends – you need to know what you want and walk away when you don’t get it.

Reply January 6, 2015, 6:21 pm

Janine Hasson

I guess I just know many masochistic men, I just can’t wrap my mind around why these guys stay with the women they constantly complain about how they want to control them constantly bitching then these guys want to cheat on the women but won’t leave them. I suppose if they really wanted a better life they would leave (I did) these guys must just feel they really deserve this treatment and I do know the women these guys aren’t lying to me.

Reply May 22, 2013, 1:07 pm

fairycake

These men are worms and bottom feeders with no self respect left – simple – feel no pity for such moaning losers because guess what? They tell you in hopes of a mercy f***

Reply January 6, 2015, 6:23 pm

Sasha

The articles here are truly enlightening Eric! :) The tips here are practical and it worked like wonders!!!

It just makes me a better human being with good well-being overall :)

Thank You!! :D

Reply November 30, 2012, 11:15 am

Amber

Finally!!! Someone explained what intimidating means in a relationship. I know of many women who have considered this word a complement and are still alone…blaming other people for why they can’t find or stay in a caring relationship. Confidence has been misinterpreted with the term “alpha” which to a point, isn’t a bad thing. But when the person likes the label of an asshole-well, that’s a horse of a different color. As for Sia, I know that I got in on this convo late, and I hope by now that you have moved on, but my advice to you is to drop that looser(if you haven’t already). Charge what has happened between the two of you to the game of life; if you have happy moments that you can remember, remember them and move on. From what I could understand in your writing, this guy isn’t emotionally mature and you got played with one of the oldest tricks guys use to get with a woman. No woman needs that kind of male in her life unless she’s raising him–not sleeping with him.

Reply November 9, 2012, 2:13 pm

Sia

Hi,
I dont know if I am doing it rite at this moment. I have met a guy from my work where he chased me for about 2 months and where I stayed aloof and had all the control of the situation. Later he proposed to me and explained that I am his first which was quite amusing for me howveer it was acceptable that a guy never had dated a gal before as he as really occupied with other priorities in life. After when I have said yes, we hardly meet anywhr , I sometimes go to his place and spend time but soon I see him running out of time and find his saying I need to do this and that which ofcourse freaks me out . Soon after 2 months of our relationship we have fallen in a hate – love relation where we hardly talk apart from a eye contact at office and nothing else .. He has turned out to be not calling no texting no replies and no nothing it it very alarming to me that the guy who had said so many thinsg about commitment and future plans with me now compliants tht I alway initiate fite , I ask him when i am unanswered of few texts and calls, I respect his time however I expect him to respond to atleast of my calls … and jus tell me if he can talk to me later or i give me time t call him. The reason i call or text him is only coz we have never been out not even once as a couple , I have been to his place a few times and nothing more apart from that , no initiation from his side and when i ask him some times he says ( that is when i am at his place he loves me crazy , and at work yes he always has his eyes on me but he never comes and talk to me as he use to do before whn i ask him y have u changed and you dont call or come n talk to me sometimse he says i am damn busy or i am busy with my gf , or watsoever , and when i am angry he jus smiles and says can u dnt understand that i love u but i cant give the time u need at this moment and do i really have to say things can u not feel what i feel for you? Recently i told probably we shld break as i am tired of running around him to figure out if he loves me or hsa gotten over me already he didnt say a word and just passed the entire conversation in a jovial way.. he said u should understand. And one more imp point when i asked him if i dnt contact will yu not contact me he said i wouldnt as i have nvr done that … and if i choose other guy over him he would think that i am happy to make such a decision and he would not force me to get back with him… WHAT IS THIS .???? Please i am very heart broken and i dont want to be a doormat sort of thing i have my own diginity and cant see it ruined like this … IS HE PLAYING ARND AND IS IT ALL OVER JUST GETG AWAY WITH ME … I would appreciate your prompt reply … i seriously need help i jus feeling unanswered and unfaith … :(

Reply June 2, 2012, 8:26 am

soul

Dump the trash. Take a shower and think of how awesome you are and how much love you have to give. Get out and very stressed to your favorite music to dance to, and treat yourself to your favorite thing to do. If you don’t act like you deserve better than that ****, you won’t get any better than that ****. Leave that dead fish floating because there are plenty more in the sea.

Reply June 27, 2014, 11:24 am

Soul

Dressed, not stressed! Lol

Reply June 27, 2014, 11:25 am

Lea

I loved this post XD it was so funny ” Guys with any power to choose will actively avoid women who act like a pain in the ass.” OMG XD Now I understand so many things! that phrase is helpfull !

Reply May 6, 2012, 8:31 pm

Alyssa

I read every email I get from you and you are amazing at what you do. I loved this post. Actually it enlightened me a ton. If no one has ever asked you, I am…. keep doing whatcha do! =)

Au revoir !

Reply April 25, 2012, 10:33 am

Melissa

Thanks Eric … I now understand the difference!! I am a survivor of domestic violence and still have a ways to come, yet everyday is a new opportunity to grow into the true woman that God created me to be!!

Reply April 24, 2012, 9:50 pm

alpha

You nailed this one! When I met my ex I was secured and self-sufficient – a true alpha female – and lived the life I wanted without caring what people think. I didn’t have to ask for anything yet he wanted to give me whatever I wanted and even went out of his comfort zone to please me. After a few months, he wouldn’t ask me to be his gf but beat around the bushes of what he wanted; I became insecure and started to lose confidence. I couldn’t ask him what I wanted, became guarded and that started our disconnections and lead to our break up.

Reply April 24, 2012, 4:23 pm

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