sexual relation to the girl changes too. It becomes harder and harder to have the sexual fantasy with the girl he’s with and becomes more about the depth of his love for her (believe me, this is not meant to be sensitive or new-agey, it’s just how it happens for all guys.)
Part of that depth and love that a guy shares with his woman is disrupted when he suddenly feels like he’s a failure or a loser or things are going wrong. Instead of feeling like he’s your man, he feels more like the burden you’re stuck with.
So guys are always up for “sex” as a concept, as in the dirty fantasy (and on occasions in real life). But sexuality is more complex than just physical movement in a relationship and his psychological state certainly is going to have an effect on how ready and willing he is going to be. I guess you could say that guys have a standard that they work to live up to in relationships and when they don’t hit that level, their attention goes toward trying to fix the problem instead of sex.
I guess the question now is what can you do? I would say that if you love him, you should wait it out. Hopefully he is looking for ways to get back on his feet. He might be mopey for a bit, but don’t let him get down on himself – he needs to get back t0 a place mentally where he feels he’s on top of his game again, then I would say it’s quite likely that he’ll come around.
You don’t have to be his shrink or his mommy or anything. Give him space to figure his stuff out, don’t pressure him about the sex thing and try your best to be patient. If you can do those things, I think you’ll be fine in a relatively short period of time.
Hope it helps.
– eric charles