I met this guy about a month ago at my work place and we both liked each other so we exchanged numbers.
Later the same day he came to my house and just talked and hung out. Both of us have partners in our lives, but we would still talk or hang out almost daily.
At one point I went over to his place to sleep over and we ended up having sex. Everything thereafter still went on as normal and he would occasionally come over and we’d sleep together.
All of a sudden, he’s been barely calling at all and I hardly see him. Should I ask what’s going on or would that just chase him away? Will he ever commit to me or start a relationship with me knowing that I already have a man in my life?
It sounds like you guys had chemistry right away, but this “relationship” wasn’t established on any firm ground to begin with.
You said that you both have partners. Right there pretty much guarantees that this is not headed toward a relationship but rather some flings.
If you both have relationships already, the reasons for him to stop seeing are numerous.
Maybe he feels guilty that he’s with a woman who already has a man in her life. Maybe he feels guilty that he’s straying from his own relationship.
Maybe he just wanted to have an experience with you, but his heart is in his relationship. Or maybe he feels that there would be no relationship potential with you since you already demonstrated that you’ll stray outside of a relationship you’re in if an opportunity comes along.
I understand that you’ve grown to like him, but chances are both of you came into this looking for excitement – only thing is, you started to develop feelings somewhere along the way.
It’s not a problem for a guy to have a purely sexual relationship with a woman if that’s what he’s looking for. I’m not saying that guys don’t develop feelings for women, we obviously do, but it’s not a problem for us to have a sex-only connection with a woman.
It’s also possible that he’s withdrawal has nothing to do with you.
I can tell you that thinking, ruminating or obsessing about him will definitely lead to a bad place. I 100% guarantee it.
Obsessing leads to neediness (because your mind believes that if he just acts a certain way or does something, your obsession will stop and you can be calm again.) If you are “needy”, he will run away.
The best thing you can do is let it be. Don’t text, don’t call, don’t try to have a “talk” about it. Just be cool and move on with your life – keep yourself busy with things you like.
You can leave the door open for him to come back and connect with you, but don’t be sitting by that metaphorical door waiting in anticipation for his return.
Hope that helps,
Hope that helps,