The 10 Biggest Man-Repellers post image

The 10 Biggest Man-Repellers

The one thing I’ve noticed over the years as a relationship writer is that most women have no idea how they’re coming across to men. They may do things in an attempt to win his affection and then are left completely baffled when their efforts produce the opposite result.

My main source of information for the articles I write is men themselves. Over the years, I’ve noticed a few recurring themes when it comes to things women do that completely turn guys off.

Here are the top ten ways to repel a guy:

1. Bragging/being arrogant. Confidence is a major turn on. Arrogance is not. People are inherently repelled by braggers. I’m sure your efforts are coming from a  desire to impress him, but too much showing off will actually repel him. Also, asserting your all-mightiness will make him feel like you’re the type of person who will always need to get her way and will never admit to being wrong and no guy wants to deal with that.

2. Being negative. Having a negative outlook isn’t just a man-repeller, it’s a people repeller. We all have our own crap to deal with on a daily basis and the last thing anyone needs is to get weighed down by someone else’s issues and negativity.

3. You don’t “get” him. Most men just want to be seen and understood. When a man feels this from a  woman, he’ll want to be around her more. Conversely, when he senses she needs him, or is just trying to get something out of him in order to fulfill her own desire, he will instinctively pull away.

4. Being critical or putting him down. No one likes to be criticized but men are particularly sensitive in this area, the male ego is not something to be messed with. A man’s greatest need is to feel significant and to feel like a winner in the world. If you make him feel like a loser, he won’t want to be anywhere near you.

MORE: How to Handle Criticism Like a Champ

5. You’re  fixated on labels or a relationship status. Men like to be in the moment and they don’t want to feel like they’re in a relationship pressure cooker where they have to meet deadlines and hit certain marks at the right time or the girl will get upset. Your focus should be on connecting with the other person and determining if this relationship is the right fit, not on getting the title for the sake of having it.

6. Being manipulative.  A guy can sense when he’s begin manipulated and he’ll resent it. Don’t do things to intentionally provoke him and get a certain reaction or response from him, this is just immature. Healthy relationships are built on open, honest communication.

7. You’re unhappy. The sexiest woman to a guy is a happy woman. If you hate your life, your friends, yourself, he’ll be repelled. Guys like to keep their lives easy and drama-free.

MORE: Tips to Be Happy

8. You’re unpleasant to be around.  If a guy feels like hanging out with you is something he’s going to have to “deal with” as opposed to something he enjoys, he won’t want to do it anymore. A lot of women make the mistake of turning their relationship into a dumping ground where they can unload all their issues. While it’s fine to vent to your guy on occasion, if you’re constantly going to him to complain about everything in your life then being with you will become a burden.

9. Being cruel/mean to others. In movies, girls like Regina George are capable of snagging the hottest guy around. In real life, there is nothing sexy about a mean girl, in fact, it’s incredibly off putting. Mean people are generally unhappy people (as they say, misery loves company). Being mean also reeks of insecurity and emotional issues, two things that no man wants to deal with.

10. You’re combative. It’s fine to have opinions and assert yourself as long as you can also see things from the other person’s perspective and don’t need to be right just for the sake of being right. A lot of women go into relationships seeing their guy as an adversary instead of a partner. The need to fight with him can have a variety of root causes and you’re best bet is to identify it and find out what you’re really fighting for.

MORE: Annoying Traits Guys Wish Girls Would Get Rid Of

Got another man -repeller for the list? Tell us in comments!

Written by Sabrina Alexis

I’m Sabrina Alexis, the co-founder, and co-editor of A New Mode. I love writing relatable, insightful articles that help people understand relationship dynamics and how to get the love they want. I have a degree in psychology and have spent the last 10 years interviewing countless men and reading and studying as much as I can to better understand human psychology and how men operate. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Instagram.

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Frankly I think that’s abestuloly good stuff.

Reply March 9, 2017, 6:45 am


Hey! No fair! Please tell me how to repel women! Being a jerk to them isn’t working at all.

Reply January 26, 2017, 7:37 pm


Quite frankly, you could have replaced the word MAN with the word PEOPLE in that article…….

Reply November 20, 2016, 12:44 pm


I tried all these and they really work!

I repelled a guy who was always hitting on me without having to out myself as a lesbian by doing these things. I even had fun trying this too. :) :) :)

Thank you!

Reply September 13, 2016, 5:50 pm


this helped me so much im gonna avoid all these men
who gay here

Reply June 7, 2016, 8:56 am


“5. You’re fixated on labels or a relationship status”

I agree with this to an extent. But if you’re 3 months into dating someone that topic of discussion has to come up at some point to know if both people are on the same page as to where the “relationship” is going. To nag and constantly guilt trip a guy into deciding is wrong. But to have a mature conversation about it is necessary so both people are not wasting each others time.

Reply January 13, 2016, 7:08 pm


Thank you. I know too many men who are doing all of those things and they are not female repellents because women love a challenge or just have low self esteem and I have been there. I would like to see more about what men do wrong or when writing the article say dating repellents not man repellents. Both sexes are guilty.

Reply October 22, 2013, 3:00 pm


the guy that im busy with,he is a busy guy as specially his job but he used to send me sms to findout how i àm from monday he is only chats with me ones,so i am suspecting if he is nolonger have antrests with me just after we sex twice

Reply October 22, 2013, 9:50 am


It all depends on each man’s biggest weakness. For a jealous man the worst repeller is flirting with others, for a stupid man it’s talking about books, for an impotent it’s being sexy…

Reply October 17, 2013, 3:15 am


All of you make it a fight between sexes. Not sure if article was directed at womean or men but it doesnt matter. The truth if you should treat others the way u want to be treated. If guy does not respond the same way then why you bother in the first place?

Reply October 16, 2013, 11:17 pm


It says man repeller. And they prey on women’s insecurities and love to make everything dependent on a woman.

Because you love patriarchy, doesn’t make it any less sexist.

You guys probably love Steve Harvey and Christian Carter too.

Reply December 3, 2013, 4:25 pm


I have actually met a number of men do the same thing to women in this article (criticize, cruel/mean,arrogant, as well as negative) however it the woman that is considered a man-repellant for these same traits. I feel this should be applied to men also. Maybe a woman would not become mean, combative, or cruel if some men don’t treat women in the same matter. Treat one the same way that you want to be treated!

Reply October 16, 2013, 8:03 pm


Excellent article Sabrina. Applies equally to both men & women. The good news is that we have control over these things, so we can adjust our attitudes, change our habits, and make life sweeter.

Reply October 16, 2013, 7:53 pm


I don’t get it. I know of at least two women who exhibit most or all of these 10 “no-nos” and yet they have been married (perhaps not happily for the man) or have had little trouble getting into long-term dating relationships. Of course it perhaps “helps” them that men usually consider them physically attractive. This makes me very discouraged.

Reply October 16, 2013, 7:01 pm


i think they subconsciously choose men who will put up with their bad behavior. negative women are not happy with their men, trust me,, i used to be one of them. a high quality man will never put up with any of the above traits.

Reply October 16, 2013, 11:38 pm


Thank you for your insight, jt! I never thought of it that way. All this time I’ve watched these two women have no end of dates, and now marriages, while I don’t date (and not for lack of trying!). They are not nice women (one has no female friends because a mutual male friend has said that her male friends will put up with her bad behavior, that other females won’t tolerate in a friend, because she’s pretty). I’ve spent years trying to understand how they get dates and marriage. I guess I never saw it from the POV that the males they surround themselves with may be low-value. This makes so much more sense now.

Reply October 17, 2013, 4:25 am


This may be true but things like being mean seems to get a guy interested and respectful to me. It’s when I’m nice and joking around is when I get treated like crap and dumped.

Reply October 16, 2013, 6:45 pm


I do run away from guys that act just like the above. But my exhousband and other exs ran to the girl that manipulate them, the frigile woman that needed saving, the one that just got separated from a bad marriage. I never said how unhappy I was, how much responsibility I took on to help them be the guys they want to be. I prefer talking now, if they like it good if not then you are not for me!

Reply October 16, 2013, 6:09 pm


These are actually human-repellers! Definitely food for thought on how to relate to other people (men, women, significant others, family, co-workers, friends…), I really don’t see anything “sexist” about it, just a few pointers for better relationships in general.

Reply October 16, 2013, 4:54 pm


You guys write the dumbest and the most sexist articles.

Reply October 16, 2013, 3:47 pm



Reply October 16, 2013, 7:22 pm


I don’t think it’s fair that a woman has to treat a man with kid gloves and to stroke his ego for him to stay with you. Why don’t men treat women that way? Women don’t get treated any better by men and therefore we have to bow down to them to put them on a pedastal? That’s ridiculous. I agree ion equality in a rtelationship, not having to treat him better than I get treated.

Reply October 16, 2013, 3:18 pm

Sabrina Alexis

Who is saying to treat men with kid gloves and put them on a pedestal? Certainly not me. The point was to not be overly critical and nit picky and I was also speaking to the larger issue of the main thing men want in this world (to feel like winners). You can fight me on it but it won’t change the reality of a situation. And plus, why would any guy ever want to be with a woman who criticizes and harps on him? I don’t think I was making any revolutionary claims by identifying that as a man repeller.

Reply October 16, 2013, 4:50 pm

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