The first question most women ask after a breakup is: can I get my ex back? It can be hard to think of anything else when your emotions are running high and you feel like you’re still in love. But the first question you should really be asking yourself is: do I want to?

The answer to the first question is maybe. There is always a chance, but missing him isn’t enough. You can’t get back together without doing any inner work and expect things to be different. Nothing has changed on the inside, so nothing has changed on the outside, either. If you get back together just because you miss him, you’re in serious danger of getting into an endless on/off cycle, driven entirely on emotions, and you could waste years of your life.

Assuming it is a good idea to try to get him back, is it even possible? It is, and here are 12 good signs you have a shot.

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It’s a scary feeling when a guy you’re seeing seems to be pulling away. You aren’t sure if he’s actually withdrawing or if your own insecurities are acting up and making you paranoid. Even worse, if he is withdrawing you don’t know why, let alone what you should do about it.

Often, a woman prematurely panics when she thinks a guy is pulling away and assumes it means he’s lost interest in her … when his behavior is actually perfectly normal or caused by something totally unrelated to his feelings for her.

The problem is that panicking can create a problem where there wasn’t one in the first place. He may not have been pulling away at first because of anything to do with you, but he’ll probably start pulling away for real as a result of your behavior.

MORE: The Top 3 Reasons Why Men Pull Away 

We’re going to look at the things men do that cause women to panic and think men are withdrawing and losing interest. These behaviors are usually signs that he’s pulling away, but pulling away doesn’t always mean losing interest—there can also be other explanations.

We’ll talk about some of those explanations, and then we’ll tell you what you can do about it.

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Breakups are never easy. Never clean-cut. Never painless. Even in the most amicable situations, there is healing to do, whether you get back together in the end or not.

A lot of the pain we experience when a relationship ends is the result of our own illusions about the relationship, about our ex, and about ourselves. Sometimes, it’s hard to let go of the self-image you created as part of a couple. And you can feel like a break-up is not only severing the relationship but also dismantling your own image of who you are as a person.

When we see relationships as a part of our identity and as something to be gained or lost, it is inevitable we will suffer when it comes to an end.

Right now, however, you might not be in a place where you can start true healing. Maybe you’re confused. Maybe you are questioning your own feelings for your ex. Maybe you are second guessing the breakup itself – thinking of scenarios where things could have gone differently.

Believe me, I get it. I’ve been there enough times – somewhere stuck between wanting him back, wanting him to want me back, and hoping for us to get back together in the future.

And it doesn’t help when your ex is sending you mixed signals.

MORE: Hidden Signs Your Ex Still Loves You 

If you are in the same scenario, the first step towards ultimate healing could just be getting clarity on what’s happening on his side of the street.

Does he actually miss you or are your own desires or confusion clouding your judgment?

If you want to know for sure that your ex misses you and get the information you need to move forward, read the following surefire ways to tell you are still on his mind. If he checks several items on this list, he is definitely still thinking about you.

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When a guy likes you, it’s obvious. It will be clear to you and everyone else around you. But if a guy likes you at work … it’s going to be just a little less obvious.

And the reason for this is pretty obvious: getting involved with someone you work with isn’t always the best idea. Well, it is if the relationship works out … but if it doesn’t, things can get ugly and incredibly uncomfortable.

At the same time, your workplace might be a great place to meet men, a definite step up from bars and clubs and so much easier than sifting through an endless sea of faces on dating apps.

MORE: How to Know If He Likes You for SURE 

And when you meet a guy at work who you click with, you may be tempted to throw caution to the wind and start a relationship. But does he feel the same? Now, this is where it gets tricky.

Your work may even have a policy that prohibits coworkers from dating, which is an extra hurdle. Or maybe the guy just has a personal

If you’ve decided that the pros outweigh the cons and you’re interested in someone at work, how can you tell if he likes you?

The bottom line is, a guy may hesitate to start anything because if it ends, it can impact not just his romantic life but his professional life as well.

The signs a coworker likes you are similar to signs a guy likes you in general, with the caveat that he may hesitate to act on his feelings, or he may be less clear about his feelings because you’re coworkers and he doesn’t know where you stand and doesn’t want to make things awkward or uncomfortable.

So is he just being a good coworker, or does he really like you? If you’re not sure, look for these subtle signs that he’s into you. [continue reading…]

We’ve talked a lot on A New Mode about how to tell if a guy likes you and how to tell if he doesn’t. We’ve also fielded tons of questions from you about how to tell if he’s losing interest or has lost interest completely.

But what can you do if he seems to be losing interest? Can you regain it if it seems to be slipping? And can you get it back if it’s totally lost?

If you’ve been paying attention and can identify the signs your man is losing interest, it’s possible to salvage things and re-route from the negative direction you’re headed in. Maybe you need to make changes in the way you relate to him, or maybe you need to make changes in your approach to your own life. Most likely you need to do a little bit of both.

It may seem counterintuitive, but what you want to do is usually exactly what you shouldn’t do.

These six steps are actually things you should integrate into your life all the time. If you do them consistently, you’ll have happier, healthier, overall better relationships.

If a man you’ve been seeing seems to be losing interest, review this list to make sure you’re on the right track and adjust as needed.

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The end of a relationship can stir up a variety of emotions, doubts, and fears. It can have us question our ability to find love again or even our worthiness of love in the first place.

That’s why it can be so hard to let go. We fear that the relationship we had was our one shot at true love. So, we over-analyze things. We put our ex on a pedestal. And sometimes, we hold onto “what-ifs” as an escape from the reality of what’s in front of us. I know; I’ve been there.

The truth is, the only way to get the relationship you want is to let go of the past; put down the shoulda…coulda…wouldas and trust that you have everything you need to generate love in your life in a powerful way. You can only do this, however, if you are willing to drop the stories you’ve created about how things should have happened and open yourself to the possibility of what could be next.

MORE: Hidden Signs Your Ex Still Loves You (Even If He Says He Doesn’t)

The most important thing is to be honest with yourself first. Are you ready to move on or are you still holding onto something you no longer have? After my last relationship, this was one of the hardest questions for me to answer because I knew I had to face the fact that things were over, and it was time to move on. And fortunately, that realization was exactly what ushered new love into my life.

In order to have the relationship you desire, you must make room in your heart to receive it. When you’re filled up with thoughts, wishes, and fantasies about your last relationship, there’s little space for new love to enter.

If you are not sure if you are still hung up on your ex or if you’re ready to move on, these next 15 signs will definitely help you get clarity.

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“Does he like me?” I think we’ve all asked ourselves this question at one point or another!

It’s not always so straightforward. There will be times when you’re positive he likes you… and other times where it seems like maybe he doesn’t like you, maybe he’s just being friendly, or maybe he’s just shy or insecure. Maybe maybe maybe, the maybes can drive you nuts!

Though it can seem confusing, there are several ways to tell if a guy likes you for sure. When you know what to look for, answering “does he like me?” will be a snap. [continue reading…]

It’s not always easy to tell if a guy is flirting or just being friendly. When someone flirts with you, it’s an amazing feeling. It makes you feel attractive and desirable. It can send a warm jolt of electricity through your body. Whether it’s verbal flirting, like playful banter, or physical flirting such as playful touches, flirting is fun!

But what if you don’t know if he’s flirting with you? It’s not always easy to tell if he’s attracted to you or if he’s just being nice.

First and foremost, don’t obsess over it. This never does any good and if anything, may cause him to lose any attraction he felt toward you. Instead, just relax and have fun.

To help guide you a bit, here are the biggest signs that he is definitely flirting with you.

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“I don’t love you anymore.” No matter how this arrangement of words is said, it is absolutely soul-crushing.

Maybe he tries to make you feel better by saying, “It’s not you, it’s me.” This is definitely up there on the list of most commonly used breakup lines. And as polite as this breakup line may be, the truth behind it is a little harder to swallow: “I just don’t myself with someone like you.” Ouch.

When a guy breaks up with you in this way, it can be both painful and confusing. He seemed like he was really into you, like he really loved you…what happened?

MORE: The Real Reasons Why Men Pull Away

One way to spare yourself this pain and anguish is to learn how to spot the signs that he is falling out of love. You may not want to admit it, but when you look for it, the truth is easy to find.

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Not sure if a guy likes you? Forget the words and pay attention to his body language, because that never lies.

It’s hard to tell how a guy feels based on his words. Men just aren’t as naturally verbal and expressive as most women are. When a guy likes you, he won’t necessarily come right out and say it. Maybe he’s shy, maybe he’s insecure, maybe he’s afraid of rejection, and so on. While he can hold back from saying the words, he won’t be able to control his body language, because a lot of the body language signs that mean he likes you are unconscious behaviors. Some are even reflexes and reactions that we can’t control even if we try.

MORE: 5 Telltale Signs He Likes You

Body language doesn’t lie and is the number one way to tell how someone feels about you.

Read on for body language signs that mean he is definitely into you.

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