Will a Single Man fall in Love with a Married Women?


Home Forums Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? Will a Single Man fall in Love with a Married Women?

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  • #689556 Reply
    Female Same Situation

    I’m in the same situation. Married and seeing a single man who I went to school with. We reconnected last year and we quickly became FWB. He’s two years divorced (17 years married). It’s a long distance affair which for me is good. The sex is amazing. I love how he makes me feel when we are together even out of the bed. I’ve been married going on five years and my husband and I haven’t been romantically involved in almost two years. He suffers from erectile dysfunction which has taken a huge toll on him and me. Not to mention a whole lot of other things that have happened. At one time our sex life was okay, not the best, just okay. On top of that my sex drive was very low (due to birth control). I stopped taking and now my sex drive is through the roof. I want to have sex. I enjoy sex. I need/want the intimacy and ultimately with my husband but he’s just unable to give me that. The single man, whom I’ve dealt with in the past, gives me that when we are together. He will tell me he is single and not attached to anyone. Which I get and understand. But here is where I’m getting into my feelings. He is also seeing someone that is a mutual friend. I know about her and she has her suspicions about me. I grew up with and have more history with her. She then tells me that he is her special friend and has been for about a year now. I tell her that we are just friends because that’s what we are “just friends”. She asks him and he says the same thing. She knows I’m married so why in the world would I openly confess to her that I’m having an affair. We all come from the same small town and run in the same circle. She posts things on social media that I know are aimed at me. I feel guilty because I know her and we were friends. Now she says we don’t have beef but we just flow differently. I was with him last weekend and she is with him this weekend. She posts this so I’ll see it. I didn’t post anything on social media about me being with him though I wanted to just to let her know yeah he is seeing other women including me. He called me the day before she arrived at his place. We had a nice chat and I hung up with a smile. Then I see her post the following day and I felt like my heart into my stomach. I like him a lot more than I should. He normally sends me a sweet text every morning on the weekday. It’s the weekend now so I don’t expect to hear from him which is normal. We’ll see what happens come the weekday. He’s introduced me to his mom, sisters, etc. and have all become close. The other girl he’s been seeing who also is a long distance relationship hasn’t been introduced to them. What does that say? I don’t know. My head says walk away. But can we go back to be friends without benefits now? Because I’m lacking so much in my marriage I don’t want it to end. And yes he know’s I’m married.

    #689558 Reply
    Hannah

    Female same situation, have you tried sex toys? I’m not joking…you’ll get a lot more satisfaction out of some of those than anything a man can possibly do physically. And you can use them with your husband.

    If that’s not enough, you have to stop fooling yourself this is just a lack of orgasms. You want emotional closeness, not just a physical release.

    I honestly don’t know how you can be banging a guy knowing you share him with a friend. I wouldn’t be able to get the idea of them out of my head every time we were together.

    And what do you mean you aren’t using birth control?! One way to destroy your life and matriage is to get pregnant by your lover. In a divorce, you’ll be hung out to dry.

    #689572 Reply
    Emma

    I am with Hannah on this, you are playing with fire. In situations like this, in the long run, it is the married woman who loses the most. Even if your HB won’t leave you right away when he finds out (and he will find out), your marriage will take a huge hit from which you might never recover. How old are you? If you are your 40s, walk away from your lover ASAP. Sex isn’t everything, life is more important. Have you not heard so many women complain about being lonely, single, not being able to find anyone?

    I also don’t understand how you are able to enjoy sex with this guy when you know he rotates you with the other woman. Affairs are caused by emotions, feelings, love. He is not in love with you he id is doing this. It is convenient for him, boost his male ego through the roof, but why would you accept it?

    There is a lot more at stake for you than for him or that other woman who is single. In the end, he’d drop you both, she’d move on the same way, he’d move on to someone else, but you risk losing your marriage, your future. Growing old alone aint’ fun darling! You are thinking sex, but I urge you to think about growing old.

    If you are younger, late 30s, then this is your last change to divorce and start something new. But whatever oyu start, it won’t be with your lover. The damage of the triangle is going to surface later on, ruining your relationship. You are not going to forget it. There is no recovery from things like that. Especially when cheating is involved.

    #689631 Reply
    Female In Same Situation

    Response to Emmah/Hannah – I’m 50 and have finished menopause so can’t get pregnant. And knowing he rotates us really doesn’t bother me wayment yes it does. But when dealing with a single person isn’t rotation involved? I want more than sex for sure. But right now I’m having fun with him and I knew when he kissed me the first time that Pandora’s box had been opened. This is my second marriage and in my first, I had a lover for the entire time I was married which was 17 years. My husband at that time never knew and to this day he still doesn’t. We divorced for other reasons. Not sure if I just get bored. I don’t sleep around with several men. I will only have that one on the side. My husband just doesn’t do it for me sexually. I masturbate all the damn time. Sometimes you just want that skin to skin contact. I haven’t talked to him in three days now which is not normal. I haven’t reached out because I know she’s there. The thing I think he likes most about me being married is that I don’t make demands. I enjoy the time when we are together and he’s good to me. Knowing that I was just there and now that she is does have me feeling some type of way but I know what I signed up for dealing with a single man. Forgot to mention my lover/friend in my previous marriage was married as well so it was different. There was no rotation other than with his wife. Deep down I know this guy could care less about me and my feelings. Case in point back during a recent holiday the three of us happened to be at the same club. The night before he and I were together so when he sees me at the club he acted like I didn’t even exist and I couldn’t figure out why at the time. He said hello and gave me this church hug. So we all were a bit perplexed (his family also) as to what was going on. Later to find out the other rotation was there with him. He didn’t want either of us to know but we both had our suspicions of the other. I let it slide after I found out why but I was extremely hurt because we were friends before benefits and didn’t think he would treat me that way. HE CARRIED ME LIKE A BAD HABIT. When I think about it I get angry/hurt all over again. But I can’t shake the feeling of wanting to spend time with him and have sex. Maybe because I’m not getting any at home or any attention whatsoever. My husband and I do nothing together and I mean nothing. For one he works seven days a week which leaves me to my own vices which is not good. If he doesn’t reach out to me I will be hurt but I’ll survive. My girlfriend says to take it for what it is and that’s just someone to dick you down on occasion. If you can’t separate your emotions from that then stop. If he doesn’t reach out we won’t be friends anymore that’s for sure. Never thought he was this type of guy. He is always saying he’s single and not attached to anyone but it’s obvious he cares for the other more than he’s willing to admit. I’ve given him a lot so far in the short time that we’ve been messing around because that’s just the type of person I am when I’m digging you. Funny thing is I have another friend that I’ve known a long time wants me and I know he would never hurt me or treat me like a rotation. I’m just not attracted to him that way. Wish I had never given in to my lust.

    #689652 Reply
    Holly

    Yes people fall in love with all different types every second of every day

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